Update on us
Jamie Clark
Well, we have our consultation with our RE this Wednesday about our failed
cycle, and possible next steps. Dh and I are strongly leaning toward
adoption, but the hard part is the emotional aspect of having to accept that
we will likely not conceive and have children of our own. I mean I know
that it could happen, but moving to adoption feels like the final blow --
sort of like when people move on to an RE for the first time, and have to
grieve that they (likely) won't conceive on their own, without help, won't
have an "ooops" pregnancy, won't have the simple joys of surprising their
husband with the good news.
For me, that step wasn't a big issue, I was just so ready to have help if we
needed help, that it didn't matter to me if I got pregnant naturally or with
medical assistance. For whatever reason, this step feels more difficult for
me. We have talked about ttc on our own (since I do ovulate regularly, and
if my eggs are NOT bad, then we could still have a chance every month) with
the help of immunity treatments. Since the IVIg is still in my system,
we'll give this month a shot, so to speak. I should ovulate in the next few
days, and in fact our appointment with the RE in on cd15, and I may ask for
a quick u/s to check out my lining and ovaries -- to see if I did ovulate or
am about to. It isn't uncommon for an IVF cycle to mess up your cycle for a
little bit, so I want to make sure that I'm not wasting time and energy if
I'm not going to ovulate. I'm doing OPK's to track it as well, and as of
today, no surge was detected, although I think we're getting closer.
As far as immunity treatments, the IVIg was so expensive (almost $3k), that
I want to see if we can do another treatment instead, called LIT, which is
basically the same thing, only instead of hundreds of peoples immunoglobin,
it would just be dh's immunoglobin. This is supposed to be MUCH cheaper
($400-$800, I believe), but is currently (or was in January) banned by the
FDA. I need to find out if and when it comes off the ban. LIT is cheap
enough that we could pay for it on a monthly basis then ttc on our own. If
after 3-6 months it didn't work, then we'd stop. But, while we are doing
that, we'd be pursuing adoption full force, actually signing up with an
attorney or agency and getting underway. And, my understanding of adoption,
whether by attorney or agency is much time is spent waiting anyway, so
inexpensively ttc while we wait could help pass the time...
So, that's the current thinking. The appointment with the RE may change
that. I've toyed with the idea of either doing another full blown IVF
cycle, or perhaps adopting embryos, but at this point it just feels like too
much risk, emotionally, physically and monetarily, which if failed, we'd be
back at the adoption route anyway, with that much less emotional and
monetary reserves. First I have to play the odds and get pregnant, then I
have to play the odds to stay pregnant. With IVF or donor embryo frozen
embryo transfer, there is a lot of money at stake. If we ttc on our own
with immunity treatments, at least the cost is minimal, or at least do-able.
I'd still have to play the odds, but I'd be hedging my bets by doing
adoption simultaneously. The other options, which I'm less interested in,
but may still do is ttc without immunity treatments (i.e. if LIT is still
banned). The reason I'd consider this at all is that the medical community
is still on the fence about the success and viability of immunity
treatments, and many studies have shown no real increase in successful
pregnancy rates with or without treatments. And, since I just had a
negative result from IVF with IVIg, it proves that the immunity alone isn't
a guarantee of success -- not that I thought it was.
Anyway, that's our current thinking.
Sharalyn Shafer
> All,
> Well, we have our consultation with our RE this Wednesday about our failed
> cycle, and possible next steps. Dh and I are strongly leaning toward
> adoption, but the hard part is the emotional aspect of having to accept that
> we will likely not conceive and have children of our own. I mean I know
> that it could happen, but moving to adoption feels like the final blow --
> sort of like when people move on to an RE for the first time, and have to
> grieve that they (likely) won't conceive on their own, without help, won't
> have an "ooops" pregnancy, won't have the simple joys of surprising their
> husband with the good news.
> (stuff snipped)
> Anyway, that's our current thinking.
>
> Jamie
> www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat
>
> --
> Jamie
> www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat
Jamie--good luck, I hope you get good news from the RE. I'll keep you in my
thoughts and prayers. You *will* get a baby one way or another, I feel it in my
bones! :-)
Interesting......do you only do biological kids or adoptive ones too?
Sharalyn
mom to Alexander James (9/21/01)
Barbara Foster Williams
drugs...it's fun to try, anyway! :) Good luck with whatever you decide.
I know that regardless of how that baby meant to be yours comes into
this world, it will be blessed with two of the most loving parents
possible.
--
Barbara, mommy to Jamie (5 July 2001)
See Jamie at http://pixel.citadel.org/jamie/pics
Shawn
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I will keep you and DH in my
thoughts.
Shawn
Roseann
I want you to have a child so much. You deserve it and it sucks that someone
as great as you can't do it. Hopefully something works out for you. Maybe
once you get started on the adoption route, you will conceive. There is that
thing that once you stop trying, it happens. At least it did with Steve and
I. Good luck in whatever route you choose :) Keep us updated.
Roseann
Tatjana Farkin
I'm thinking about you a lot, and I just know that you're one of the really
determined mummies-in-the-making who *will* have a baby soon! I'll keep my
fingers crossed for you!!
--
Tatjana & Baruch
TTC #1
PCOS/IR
German support group: http://de.groups.yahoo.com/group/PCOS-D
email me at tatjana at farkin dot de
Jamie Clark
news:bafoNOster-12A2B...@news.comcast.giganews.com...
Barbara,
The only way that it could hurt is the very likely possibility of another
early m/c, since we have a history of 5 chemical pregnancies (all ended
before they really had a chance to begin, at 5-6 weeks) and 2 blighted ovums
(ended at 7-8 weeks, no heartbeat ever started), then it really is just an
emotional risk. Physically, miscarrying that early isn't very hard (although
more so at 8 weeks), it's just the fear of going into the double digits on
miscarriages. I'm already at 8 losses, I don't really want to hit 9 or
10...
Thank you for the nice words.
Jamie Clark
news:a8stfb$cb7$01$1...@news.t-online.com...
Thanks Tatjana. That's one thing I am sure of. If we quit trying to have
(either through ttc or adoption) a baby, we likely won't get one, but as
long as we try, we will eventually succeed. That is what keeps me going.
Jamie Clark
news:zUms8.262816$Hu6.56...@typhoon.neo.rr.com...
Roseann,
I know you mean well, but please be careful what you say to someone dealing
with IF, and how you say it. The whole "relax and it will happen, it did for
us" thing is really not comforting. You might never have been infertile to
begin with, just had to ttc for more than 6 month, so it isn't comforting or
fair to compare the situations. And even if you were technicall infertile,
your issues most likely have nothing to do with mine, so just the fact that
you got pregnant means nothing to my situation.
And telling an infertile to relax is much like telling her that it is her
fault she hasn't conceived (it reads in her mind as "you're too stressed
out, and it's your fault you can't relax enough to conceive, you just aren't
trying hard enough, you don't want it enough, etc.").
Also, don't get me started on the whole "just adopt and it will happen for
you" scenario. Adopting will not cure infertility, if your infertility is
based on blocked tubes, immunity issues, lack of ovulation, deformed uterus,
lack of tubes, hysterectomy, etc. And not as many people conceive after
beginning adoption proceedings as you hear about, less than 5%. Plus, not
all people who think they are infertile really are -- some people have a
very short fuse about ttc, and if it hasn't happened in 6 months, they
convince themselves they are infertile, begin to talk about adoption or look
into it, then get pregnant. It's likely that they would have gotten
pregnant within a year anyway, so did the adoption process really "cure"
their infertility? I think not.
Anyway, I'm not offended by what you wrote, but just wanted to take the time
to help you or other readers learn a lesson here about what not to say to
someone dealing with infertility. Sometimes what feels totally innocuous to
a fertile person can feel devastating and upsetting to an infertile person.
I do appreciate all the nice things you said in the top part of your post.
I agree that I deserve it, and I agree that it sucks that it isn't happening
for me. Thanks!
cara
We have friends who recently adopted a beautiful little baby girl. They are so
happy! They went through some of what you experienced - not so many
miscarriages, but lots of trying and tears and finally decided to adopt. I
don't think it was an easy decision for them at all and both of them resisted it
to some degree, but I know they are so thrilled now to finally have their own
little girl. Anyway, your story reminds me of them somewhat. I hope you can
conceive on your own, but it also might be worth getting the ball rolling down
the adoption path. Either way, we are all pulling for you guys!
cara
Elise Sara
what you had been thinking you would do next. I admire your perserverence and
strength.
I hope the RE finds good lining and follicles for you! And I hope the adoption
procedings get going soon.
Elise
Married to Paul 7-7-01
Cat- Tony
M/C 1/01
TTC again as of 2/14/02
Roseann
"Jamie Clark" <jami...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:Q%ns8.1111$3P4....@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
I understand what you are saying and I am sorry. Our infertility was
diagnosed and it took 3 1/2 years to get Matthew. I don't know what you are
going through, but I do know what it means to want a chilld. Again, sorry.
Roseann
>
>
Barbara Foster Williams
"Jamie Clark" <jami...@earthlink.net> wrote:
Yeah, I can see where that would be hard. :(
My heart just aches for you having to go through all this. I think it's
so unfair that some babies are born to parents who don't even want them
and do awful things to them, and then others like you who would be great
parents can't have them. :(
bimbette
I wish I could say something or wave a magic wand for you. A few words seem
helpless but please know I am thinking of you and your dh.
bimbette
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/v/victoriaeleni/
"Jamie Clark" <jami...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:Hlms8.917$3P4....@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
Jamie Clark
I think it's so unfair that some babies are born to parents who don't even
want them
and do awful things to them, and then others like you who would be great
parents can't have them. :(
Yeah. Me too. Totally.
--
Jamie
www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat
Jamie Clark
>I understand what you are saying and I am sorry. Our infertility was
>diagnosed and it took 3 1/2 years to get Matthew. I don't know what you are
>going through, but I do know what it means to want a chilld. Again, sorry.
>
>Roseann
No worries Rosann. Thanks for the apology though! I'm glad you "get it"
though, and at the same time, sorry you had to. I hope you understand what
I mean. Hugs to you, and congrats on your son.
Jamie Clark
I'll take the kind words, good thoughts, and prayers.
--
Jamie
www.geocities.com/digit_the_cat
"bimbette" <bimb...@overthere.com> wrote in message
news:Alqs8.11405$vc3....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
JoAnne Clark
"Jamie Clark" <jami...@earthlink.net> wrote:
[snip]
> Anyway, that's our current thinking.
Jamie, no profound words here, except that I'm thinking of you.
JoAnne
Sarajoyo
out. Also that ttc with immunity treatments might pan out too. You've been
through so much - I desperately want to hear really good things for you!
-Sara:)
"Jamie Clark" <jami...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:Hlms8.917$3P4....@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
Randy & Carlene Rummery
(((hugs)))
I can't believe how much you've been through in such a short period of time.
I hope something pans out for you and fast! There's a baby out there just
dying to have you for a mommy.
Good luck.
--
Hugs,
Carlene
Proud mommy to Sydney Blythe
February 15, 2001
http://communities.msn.ca/SydneyBlythe
"Jamie Clark" <jami...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:Hlms8.917$3P4....@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
NY Yankees Fan
Best of luck with the RE. Keeping you in my prayers :)
Amy
mommy to:
Hope (1/00)
Sophie (7/01)
Thumper (11/02)
iaken...@gmail.com
i want to go india for my ivf treatment,but i have no idia about the ivf centres in india.so i aslo want to know the total cost of ivf treatment.