Bottle question
Melissa
the evening. We bought the slowest flow bottle, but DH said that it was
pouring into her mouth and flowing out. I know that sometimes happens to her
while bf, so I wasn't too worried, but she only took (inlcuding spillage)
about 1/2 oz. total. I had to (cry) dump the rest since he won't have
another chance to feed her until tonight and I know that you're not supposed
to keep partially consumed breast-milk more than 24 hours.
So, what advice can I give DH to make our next attempt easier? He's never
given a baby a bottle before and I don't want to show him so as not to
confuse DD about where milk comes from (breast from Mummy and bottle from
others). He was holding the bottle pretty upright and DD at about a 45
degree incline. After about ten minutes, both were frustrated and seem
relived to stop.
As I said before (in far too many previous postings) we don't want to bottle
feed her EBM every day, but want to have the option open to us for when we
need it. Our first 'when we need it' time is on the first Sunday in June
when we have a wedding. If she absolutely won't take a bottle, I can always
go to MIL's house in between the ceremony and reception to nurse and leave
the reception early, but I'd much rather leave MIL with a few bottles of EBM
and miss one or two feedings.
BTW, DD is one month old (yesterday) and I've heard that if I can't get her
to accept a bottle in the next few weeks it may never happen.
--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03
Tracy Hubbard
"Melissa" <mhta...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:hauwa.841541$L1.244402@sccrnsc02...
. >We bought the slowest flow bottle,
Silly question, but was the collar screwed on tightly? That can also afect
the flow of milk from the bottle.
> He was holding the bottle pretty upright and DD at about a 45
> degree incline.
Have him reverse that. Try and hold DD at above 45 degrees and keep the
bottle as close to parallel to the floor, just tipped enough to keep the
nipple full of milk.
Good luck,
I hope it helps.
--
Have a great day,
Tracy
But one of the attributes of love, like art, is to bring harmony and order
out of chaos.
-- Molly Haskell
Dawn Lawson
Melissa wrote:
> BTW, DD is one month old (yesterday) and I've heard that if I can't get her
> to accept a bottle in the next few weeks it may never happen.
Nonsense, imo/e
My DS refused anything to do with a bottle or a soother until he was at least 3
months (or maybe 4, would have to look it up in the calendar.) Then suddenly
one day he took both.
Surely showing DH quickly how to hold her would clear up any positional problems
if you think that is contributing to her not wanting to take the bottle from
him. Babies are more resiliant than that. And even if she DOESN'T take the
bottle from you, he has a quick visual on how to manage it.
Dawn
--
«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»
Circe
> So, what advice can I give DH to make our next attempt easier? He's
> never given a baby a bottle before and I don't want to show him so as
> not to confuse DD about where milk comes from (breast from Mummy and
> bottle from others). He was holding the bottle pretty upright and DD
> at about a 45 degree incline.
As Tracy said, try holding the baby at about 45 degrees and the bottle at an
angle rather than the other way around.
> BTW, DD is one month old (yesterday) and I've heard that if I can't
> get her to accept a bottle in the next few weeks it may never happen.
Well, there's definitely a "window of opportunity" for bottle acceptance for
many babies. With ours, we never started to try until the 6-week mark,
though. We never had any problems getting them to take the first few bottles
at 6-8 weeks or so. The only kid we ever had a bottle problem with was #2,
who took bottles willingly enough at 6-8 weeks, but then didn't get any for
almost 4 weeks, so that when she went to childcare at 12 weeks, she didn't
want anything to do with them. She *did* learn to accept them, though
grudgingly, partly because she *had* to and partly because we determined
that the issue wasn't entirely due to the bottle, but due to the temperature
of the milk (it had to be far warmer than we would have guessed for her to
accept it).
So I don't think you need to *sweat* the fact that she didn't take the
bottle well at a month old. Personally, I think it's still too early to
start trying, though 4 weeks is the *earliest* I would even consider. And my
feeling is that you've got 3-4 weeks yet, easy, before you have anything to
worry about in this department.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [7/22/97], Aurora [7/19/99], and Vernon's [3/2/02] mom)
See us at http://photos.yahoo.com/guavaln
Moderator for the proposed group misc.kids.family-life
This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"No mis-spellings found!" -- spell check software message
What does it all mean? I have *no* idea. But it's my life and I like it.
Emily Roysdon
> As I said before (in far too many previous postings) we don't want to bottle
> feed her EBM every day, but want to have the option open to us for when we
> need it. Our first 'when we need it' time is on the first Sunday in June
> when we have a wedding. If she absolutely won't take a bottle, I can always
> go to MIL's house in between the ceremony and reception to nurse and leave
> the reception early, but I'd much rather leave MIL with a few bottles of EBM
> and miss one or two feedings.
This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'll say it anyway ;-)
She can come to the wedding with you! Babies are so very portable at
that age, and then you could enjoy the wedding and reception without
having to leave or worry about how it's going. When my first child was
born, I thought I had to pump, had to have a stash of milk, etc. and it
was just as you described with dh trying to feed a bottle: everyone got
frustrated. We quickly decided it just wasn't worth it, and it was so
much easier to just take the baby, in a sling. That's something you
can't do when they're older, and I miss it. I'm not saying that you
shouldn't pump and bottlefeed if you think you need to, but please don't
feel that you must do it. There are many of us who managed to have a
life and a baby without using a bottle, with no regrets.
Emily, missing the days of taking a baby to the movies or dinner
Michelle S. Spina
Melissa,
It may take several tries before DD figures it out completely - don't
worry that this first time wasn't a blazing success. DH might have to
experiment with a number of different tactics to get DD to take a
bottle. My DD won't take a bottle from DH if he holds her as I do while
nursing (although, this DOES work for some babies) - he's got to walk
around with her, holding her more facing out (we call this "the princess
chair" - baby is kind of sitting, facing outwards). Weird, but this is
what works for them. So have DH try many things, many of which might
seem strange. :-)
Also, I didn't start bottles until both of my kids were 6 weeks - no
earlier. At one month, you are still on the early side, so don't fret if
she doesn't take a bottle yet - you have plenty of time to figure this
out.
m.
Tracy Hubbard
news:EAuwa.20720$hd6.19518@fed1read05...
the temperature
> of the milk (it had to be far warmer than we would have guessed for her to
> accept it).
Boy am I glad to hear this!! Adam also likes his to be *very* warm,
almost to the point you'd think it would burn. His Granna always has a hard
time getting him to take a bottle - I think I know why! Fresh bm is this
warm so it makes sense!
Mary
Melissa wrote:
> I managed to pump two ounces yesterday and DH tried to feed DD a bottle in
> the evening. We bought the slowest flow bottle, but DH said that it was
> pouring into her mouth and flowing out. I know that sometimes happens to her
> while bf, so I wasn't too worried, but she only took (inlcuding spillage)
> about 1/2 oz. total. I had to (cry) dump the rest since he won't have
> another chance to feed her until tonight and I know that you're not supposed
> to keep partially consumed breast-milk more than 24 hours.
What type of bottles are you using? You may have to play around with
the nipples. My daughter was supplemented for the first week of her life,
and we used the avent, which worked OK although sometimes it seemed
like she really struggled with them. We also used Nuk which seemed to
work better. When we reintroduced the bottle at 8 weeks, she refused
the avent and the nuk. We ended up with the playtex nurser.
> So, what advice can I give DH to make our next attempt easier? He's never
> given a baby a bottle before and I don't want to show him so as not to
> confuse DD about where milk comes from (breast from Mummy and bottle from
> others). He was holding the bottle pretty upright and DD at about a 45
> degree incline. After about ten minutes, both were frustrated and seem
> relived to stop.
Well, it may take a little time to get this down. May take some practice.
The bottle would have been OK for an hour or so (I think), so when they
were getting frustrated he could have stopped for a break and tried again
20 minutes later. Are you sure she was hungry? (although this can go both
ways, if my daughter was too hungry she'd get all frantic and wouldn't
eat).
Things my nanny tried (note, my daughter was around 12 weeks at this point):
-Really warm the milk up (quite warm)
-different nipples
-baby propped up in her carseat while eating
-baby distracted by baby mozart video while eating
> BTW, DD is one month old (yesterday) and I've heard that if I can't get her
> to accept a bottle in the next few weeks it may never happen.
We reintroduced the bottle kind of late (8 weeks), and did struggle with it.
I went back to work, and DD ended up taking very little during the day and
nursed like crazy at night. Best of luck,
Mary
P. G. Chavez
>
> Melissa wrote:
>
> > So, what advice can I give DH to make our next attempt easier? He's never
> > given a baby a bottle before and I don't want to show him so as not to
> > confuse DD about where milk comes from (breast from Mummy and bottle from
> > others). He was holding the bottle pretty upright and DD at about a 45
> > degree incline. After about ten minutes, both were frustrated and seem
> > relived to stop.
>
> Well, it may take a little time to get this down. May take some practice.
> The bottle would have been OK for an hour or so (I think), so when they
> were getting frustrated he could have stopped for a break and tried again
> 20 minutes later. Are you sure she was hungry? (although this can go both
> ways, if my daughter was too hungry she'd get all frantic and wouldn't
> eat).
>
> Things my nanny tried (note, my daughter was around 12 weeks at this point):
> -Really warm the milk up (quite warm)
> -different nipples
> -baby propped up in her carseat while eating
> -baby distracted by baby mozart video while eating
Piggybacking with some more ideas:
- warm the bottle nipple by running it under warm water
- have DH try over the course of an hour while you are nowhere in the
vicinity (e.g., go to a different floor of the house and be quiet, or
leave the house entirely) DD can smell and sense when you (and your
breasts!) are around.
Good luck,
-Patty, mom to Corinne [Mar-98] and Nathan [May-00]
and stepmom to Victoria [Apr-90]
Nikki
> I managed to pump two ounces yesterday and DH tried to feed DD a
> bottle in the evening. We bought the slowest flow bottle, but DH said
> that it was pouring into her mouth and flowing out. I know that
> sometimes happens to her while bf, so I wasn't too worried, but she
> only took (inlcuding spillage) about 1/2 oz. total.
Others have mentioned different strategies for getting her to take the
bottle but my feeling is that this is the first bottle for a 4 wk old baby.
There will be a learning curve as she learns to latch and suck on a bottle.
Don't get to distressed. It may take her a few attempts to get it figured
out. If she is distressed by the bottle then dh can try various tricks but
if it is just that she hasn't figured out the latch, suck, swallow thing,
give it a few more tries. Not only does she need to learn that but she was
probably startled by food coming from dad!
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)
Mary
> This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'll say it anyway ;-)
> She can come to the wedding with you!
Only if invited! I know that's sort of a no-brainer condition, but it
bears repeating just in case. If the wedding invitation was addressed
only to the couple (i.e., the baby's name wasn't specifically written on
the inner envelope), they should call around (track down the mother,
MIL, or if those fail, the bride herself) and ask if the baby will be
welcome. It's absolutely the height of rudeness to take children (even
an in-arms infant) to an adults-only wedding.
For the OP, we didn't manage to make bottles work, so I don't have any
good advice, but I wouldn't panic at 4 weeks. I think you still have
another month or so before missing the bottle window.
Mary S.
mom to the peekabooing-with-herself Sproutkin, 14 months
Emily Roysdon
> Emily Roysdon wrote:
>
>> This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'll say it anyway ;-)
>> She can come to the wedding with you!
>
>
> Only if invited! I know that's sort of a no-brainer condition, but it
> bears repeating just in case. If the wedding invitation was addressed
> only to the couple (i.e., the baby's name wasn't specifically written on
> the inner envelope), they should call around (track down the mother,
> MIL, or if those fail, the bride herself) and ask if the baby will be
> welcome. It's absolutely the height of rudeness to take children (even
> an in-arms infant) to an adults-only wedding.
Ah, that's a good point. I guess I'm a low-brow sort of person ;-) and
haven't been to any wedding post-kids where an in-arms, nursing infant
wouldn't have been welcome. I keep forgetting that there are people who
would expect someone to leave a one or two month old infant at home
while they attend a wedding.
Emily
Mary
>> Only if invited! I know that's sort of a no-brainer condition, but it
>> bears repeating just in case. If the wedding invitation was addressed
>> only to the couple (i.e., the baby's name wasn't specifically written
>> on the inner envelope), they should call around
> Ah, that's a good point. I guess I'm a low-brow sort of person ;-) and
> haven't been to any wedding post-kids where an in-arms, nursing infant
> wouldn't have been welcome. I keep forgetting that there are people who
> would expect someone to leave a one or two month old infant at home
> while they attend a wedding.
There seem to be two types of wedding-planning people in the world --
those for whom a wedding wouldn't be a wedding without white-laced
babies toddling around, flower girls chasing after the ring bearer,
pelting him with rose petals, adoring looks following the bride
everywhere she goes, contentedly nursing babes in arms being smiled over
by other guests, little girls dancing on their father's shoes, little
sleeping faces pressed into their parents' shoulders... and those who
don't want any children or babies to be present, no exceptions, end of
subject. The first type is willing to take the chance of a
quickly-hushed baby cry during the ceremony, or tiny fingerprints ending
up in the cake icing, and the second type is willing to take the chance
that many parents of new babies won't be able to make it. I guess it's
obvious which party we fell in. :) I was surprised myself, when we were
planning our wedding, how many couples on the wedding newsgroup were
totally against any babies or children, and wanted an adults-only
atmosphere.
Astromum
While I was nursing DS, DH would take over the latest evening session from
me so I could get some sleep. We did this for quite some time, and DS never
had any problems with nipple confusion, but he did have a very strong suction,
causing the milk to flow way to fast (even with slowest flow bottle nipple).
What we did was first of all only warming up small portions at a time. I
am not very good at fl.oz. and such, I think it was maybe 0.5 -1 oz. Then,
when DH was feeding, DS would drink for a minute and then suckle on DH's
little finger for a few minutes. After a week or two, DS realized that
feeding from a bottle requires less suction than nursing, and started
to do both equally well. I could even bottle feed myself, which I did on
a few tropically hot days to safe us both the sweaty business of nursing.
If you want to prevent throwing away expressed milk, you can freeze it
in icecube trays and only thaw (in fridge or cold water!) as much as you
need at a time. Make sure to label them properly, since even frozen the
milk doesn't keep much longer than 3 months.
> BTW, DD is one month old (yesterday) and I've heard that if I can't get her
> to accept a bottle in the next few weeks it may never happen.
>
I don't know about this, but judging from your story, she may be accepting
the bottle, but simply having problems to adjust. Remember, bottle and
breast are very different mechanisms, even though the shapes may be similar.
Give both DH and DD some time to learn. I am sure they will manage!
-- Ilse
mom to Olaf July 15, 2002
TTC #2
HollyLewis
>quickly-hushed baby cry during the ceremony, or tiny fingerprints ending
>up in the cake icing, and the second type is willing to take the chance
>that many parents of new babies won't be able to make it. I guess it's
>obvious which party we fell in. :)
LOL. Us too; we were disappointed that there weren't *more* kidlets at ours.
>I was surprised myself, when we were
>planning our wedding, how many couples on the wedding newsgroup were
>totally against any babies or children, and wanted an adults-only
>atmosphere.
Me too. :-)
However, I will say -- at the risk of reopening a large can of worms -- that I
have found that some couples fail to invite the baby more out of oversight,
because so few of their friends have little ones, than any kind of specific
"adults only" intention, and are quite happy to issue a verbal invitation to
bring the baby along if the parents inquire.
Holly
Mom to Camden, 2 yrs.
Irene
> Melissa wrote:
>
> > As I said before (in far too many previous postings) we don't want to bottle
> > feed her EBM every day, but want to have the option open to us for when we
> > need it. Our first 'when we need it' time is on the first Sunday in June
> > when we have a wedding. If she absolutely won't take a bottle, I can always
> > go to MIL's house in between the ceremony and reception to nurse and leave
> > the reception early, but I'd much rather leave MIL with a few bottles of EBM
> > and miss one or two feedings.
>
> This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'll say it anyway ;-)
> She can come to the wedding with you! Babies are so very portable at
> that age, and then you could enjoy the wedding and reception without
> having to leave or worry about how it's going.
Which is good only if the hosts of the event are ok with it...
Irene
Emily Roysdon
<snip>
> However, I will say -- at the risk of reopening a large can of worms -- that I
> have found that some couples fail to invite the baby more out of oversight,
> because so few of their friends have little ones, than any kind of specific
> "adults only" intention, and are quite happy to issue a verbal invitation to
> bring the baby along if the parents inquire.
That's what I was thinking. Most people do the invitations well in
advance of the wedding, or at least make up the guest list months ahead
of time, so they may not be thinking of any pregnant guests as having a
newborn by then. I can't imagine someone not allowing a newborn at a
wedding, but I can see that it does happen. I'm probably one of those
rude people ;-) who just assumes the baby is welcome anywhere I'm
welcome, as s/he won't be taking up any additional space or require any
additional expense to the hosts, and I have enough common sense to leave
if the baby isn't silent and content. I'd probably call ahead and let
the host know I'd be bringing the baby, now that I think about it.
Emily, thinking this may explain why I'm not invited to many weddings ;-)
Lara
> If you want to prevent throwing away expressed milk, you can freeze it
> in icecube trays and only thaw (in fridge or cold water!) as much as you
> need at a time. Make sure to label them properly, since even frozen the
> milk doesn't keep much longer than 3 months.
Unless you have a deep freeze, in which case it lasts at least six to
twelve months.
Lara
Leslie
>I'm probably one of those
>rude people ;-) who just assumes the baby is welcome anywhere I'm
>welcome, as s/he won't be taking up any additional space or require any
>additional expense to the hosts, and I have enough common sense to leave
>if the baby isn't silent and content.
Well, I'm one of those people as well, and I don't think it's rude, either. I
go by the assumption that my newborn nursling and I are an inseparable pair,
and if you want me, you get the baby as well. It would be rude of me to let
the baby cry during the service, but bringing the baby is not rude--IMO
expecting a nursing mother to leave her baby because you don't want babies at
your wedding is WAY ruder!
FWIW, the rules change with an older baby who CAN be left. I still bring
William to a lot of places other people probably do not bring babies, but I
leave him or stay home if I think he will be disruptive. I would not take him
to a wedding unless I was sure he was welcome at this point.
Leslie
Leslie
>There seem to be two types of wedding-planning people in the world --
>those for whom a wedding wouldn't be a wedding without white-laced
>babies toddling around, flower girls chasing after the ring bearer,
>pelting him with rose petals, adoring looks following the bride
>everywhere she goes, contentedly nursing babes in arms being smiled over
>by other guests, little girls dancing on their father's shoes, little
>sleeping faces pressed into their parents' shoulders...
That would be me. :-) I included every child by name on the invitations to my
wedding. Some of the cutest pictures are of the five year old flower girl and
ringbearer dancing together. I felt that since we hoped our marriage would be
blessed with children, it was only natural that we should welcome them at our
wedding.
and those who
>don't want any children or babies to be present, no exceptions, end of
>subject. The first type is willing to take the chance of a
>quickly-hushed baby cry during the ceremony, or tiny fingerprints ending
>up in the cake icing, and the second type is willing to take the chance
>that many parents of new babies won't be able to make it. I guess it's
>obvious which party we fell in. :) I was surprised myself, when we were
>planning our wedding, how many couples on the wedding newsgroup were
>totally against any babies or children, and wanted an adults-only
>atmosphere.
I am helping my sister to plan her wedding, and she doesn't want any kids there
whom she doesn't have to have (my kids, my other sister's kids, kids of the
attendants). And she's all worried about them making noise. To me, little
kids making a joyful noise at a wedding is not big deal, and if they cry you
take them out--so what? Her attitude irritates me.
Leslie
Emily Roysdon
> Emily said:
>
>
>>I'm probably one of those
>>rude people ;-) who just assumes the baby is welcome anywhere I'm
>>welcome, as s/he won't be taking up any additional space or require any
>>additional expense to the hosts, and I have enough common sense to leave
>>if the baby isn't silent and content.
>
>
> Well, I'm one of those people as well, and I don't think it's rude, either.
Yeah, but you and I are weirdo-freaks ;-)
> I
> go by the assumption that my newborn nursling and I are an inseparable pair,
> and if you want me, you get the baby as well. It would be rude of me to let
> the baby cry during the service, but bringing the baby is not rude--IMO
> expecting a nursing mother to leave her baby because you don't want babies at
> your wedding is WAY ruder!
That's my take on it, but I'm seeing that other people vary, and I
really wouldn't want to ruin anyone's special day if they did not want
babies there. I'd just stay home, is all. I've had one big wedding and
one shotgun, err, small, and it never occurred to me that people's
children wouldn't come to my first wedding. The moments I can remember
best from that reception are the ones involving children (not including
the one I married, and later divorced >;-)
> FWIW, the rules change with an older baby who CAN be left. I still bring
> William to a lot of places other people probably do not bring babies, but I
> leave him or stay home if I think he will be disruptive. I would not take him
> to a wedding unless I was sure he was welcome at this point.
Oh yeah...older baby/toddler is wayyyyy different from a 2 month old.
The OP said her baby was a month old, and the wedding is in June. My
kids were content to nurse in the sling and not make a peep past the age
of one year, but I know that's pretty rare, but I just think of a
newborn as part of the mom package.
Emily
Astromum
freezer regularly to get other things out, it might. However, I used to
store it in a freezer with other things, and therefore used the shortest
time that was listed in my BF-book, just to be on the safe side. It seems
that no two sources agree on how long you can store it...
Melissa
> I was surprised myself, when we were
> planning our wedding, how many couples on the wedding newsgroup were
> totally against any babies or children, and wanted an adults-only
> atmosphere.
Given that we had an adult only function (since it was Sunday night, formal
and went late) and given that the wedding is Sunday night and given that DD
wasn't invited, I think we won't be taking her. We RSVP'd that we'd let them
know closer to the date if we'd be able to attend since it depends on DD.
I'd rather skip the wedding than bring along an unwelcome baby.
Back on topic, thanks for the encouragement. The pediatrician actually said
that the main problem she sees with babies taking bottles is father
nervousness, which tends to go away rather quickly. I plan to pump again
today or tomorrow, and we'll try again.
Mary
Leslie wrote:
> Mary said:
>
> >There seem to be two types of wedding-planning people in the world --
> >those for whom a wedding wouldn't be a wedding without white-laced
> >babies toddling around, flower girls chasing after the ring bearer,
> >pelting him with rose petals, adoring looks following the bride
> >everywhere she goes, contentedly nursing babes in arms being smiled over
> >by other guests, little girls dancing on their father's shoes, little
> >sleeping faces pressed into their parents' shoulders...
>
> That would be me. :-) I included every child by name on the invitations to my
> wedding. Some of the cutest pictures are of the five year old flower girl and
> ringbearer dancing together. I felt that since we hoped our marriage would be
> blessed with children, it was only natural that we should welcome them at our
> wedding.
Me too! I provide gift bags for the kids at our wedding, with crazy straws and
lots of stickers. My bridesmaids ended up with stickers all over their dresses-
it was very funny. Cutest picture was my niece staring adoringly at the harpist
that played at our reception.
Mary
Lara
> Lara wrote:
> > Unless you have a deep freeze, in which case it lasts at least six to
> > twelve months.
> >
> That depends: if you deep freeze and leave it there without opening the
> freezer regularly to get other things out, it might. However, I used to
> store it in a freezer with other things, and therefore used the shortest
> time that was listed in my BF-book, just to be on the safe side. It seems
> that no two sources agree on how long you can store it...
I just kept a thermometer in with my milk, and checked it whenever
taking other foods in or out. Being a chest freezer (not vertical door),
the temperature never strayed above -23 degrees C, and usually sat down
around the -28 mark. YFMV. The "6-12 months" is probably conservative
for a cold deep freezer like mine. We try to rotate within five months
(kinda moot now that my stash is down to about ten litres), but I
wouldn't go dumping older milk.
Lara
EPing for Luke, seven months and six days