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"The Nation" column - on the costs of socializing
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leno...@yahoo.com
May 1, 2019, 10:13:30 AM5/1/19
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https://www.thenation.com/article/parents-sports-kids-friends-class/
Dear Liza,
I’m single, and now that my children are nearly grown, I have the time and desire to go out with friends. But while I was raising children and mostly too busy to go out, something changed. My closest, oldest friends now have significantly more disposable income than I do (mostly due to having a spouse, better jobs, or no children). So when it comes to eating out, getting tickets for performances, planning a weekend away, or whatever, I find that I either have to decline or spend more money than I can afford. If I bring that up, one of the following things happens: Someone offers to pay, which is fine once in a while but can get awkward; or we go someplace cheaper that people aren’t happy with; or plans are made without me. Mostly, I just rack up more credit-card debt so that I can be included and my friends aren’t made uncomfortable. But I wonder: Why can’t a group of people who are politically (and economically) progressive resolve what must be a fairly common situation? Why can’t we even talk about it? How should this work among caring and like-minded friends?
—Rich in Friends, but Still Poor
You'll like the answer, I hope. Especially the last two paragraphs. (Personally, I resent it when people assume I can afford to split the bill at any but the cheapest eateries - or when people act as though there's something degrading about going on FREE excursions.)
Lenona.
https://www.thenation.com/article/parents-sports-kids-friends-class/
Dear Liza,
I’m single, and now that my children are nearly grown, I have the time and desire to go out with friends. But while I was raising children and mostly too busy to go out, something changed. My closest, oldest friends now have significantly more disposable income than I do (mostly due to having a spouse, better jobs, or no children). So when it comes to eating out, getting tickets for performances, planning a weekend away, or whatever, I find that I either have to decline or spend more money than I can afford. If I bring that up, one of the following things happens: Someone offers to pay, which is fine once in a while but can get awkward; or we go someplace cheaper that people aren’t happy with; or plans are made without me. Mostly, I just rack up more credit-card debt so that I can be included and my friends aren’t made uncomfortable. But I wonder: Why can’t a group of people who are politically (and economically) progressive resolve what must be a fairly common situation? Why can’t we even talk about it? How should this work among caring and like-minded friends?
—Rich in Friends, but Still Poor
You'll like the answer, I hope. Especially the last two paragraphs. (Personally, I resent it when people assume I can afford to split the bill at any but the cheapest eateries - or when people act as though there's something degrading about going on FREE excursions.)
Lenona.
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