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The United States of Walmart
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Lex Touche
Oct 25, 2013, 4:05:41 AM10/25/13
to
Greetings walmart shoppers..
Last year my wife got a spam phishing email claiming to be a secret shopper opportunity from Walmart.
I checked the links in the email and verified it was bogus so I forwarded the email, with all headers to abuse at walmart dot com.
A few days later my lady got a reply from walmart thanking her for her interest in job opportunities at walmart and directing to the proper url at which to apply for a job..for a rewarding career at walmart.
A couple of months ago when we were shopping around for school supplies for (not so) little Ghengis Baba (my son)
he remembered that walmart publishes lists of required supplies for most of the local public schools, so we went to walmart dot com.
There, listed as a requirement for my kid's magnet school advanced class was a "USB FLASH CARD" accompanied by a photo of a deck of math flash cards..
Ghengis and I cracked up 'cause we know, and that "USB" is a dead give away, that what they want at school is the students have a "USB flash *drive*", two of them in fact.
I emailed Walmart and they replied that they would correct the requirement listed on the site if and when they were contacted by a representative of the miami-dade county school board..when they got back from summer vacation.
After school started a school admin showed me the requirement list, it said "flash drive". Guess walmart needed to unload some flash cards..
And now the punch line: I smoke a pipe. One of the tobaccos I like is capt'n black.
The manufacturer, scandinavian tobacco group sent my wife a couple of coupons,
one for a sample and one as a reward for answering a survey.
The manufacturer coupons, good for 1.5 OZ of any of several of their pipe tobacco products
clearly said right above a fill in the blank space, "RETAILER: Charge customer $1 plus applicable sales tax,
then write the actual price of the product minus tax in the space provided."
Oh boy! The only close by retailer that even sells pipe tobacco is walmart.
walgreen's sells Blender's Gold which might as well be sawdust..but other than a trek to the mall
the place to get a fix is walmart..
They had one bag of Capt'n Black left, no other scandinavian brands which is a bummer 'cause I wanted to try half & half.
First the manufacturer coupon wouldn't scan. I asked for a manager.
The ASSistant manager first insisted that I was trying to cheat walmart because the coupon was for
a 1.5 OZ bag of tobacco and the bag of Capt'n Black was 1 1/2 OZ (I'm still incredulous)
"Sir, are you really the manager here?" To which the guy shoved the bag of tobak in my face and
growled: "Well, what does that say?". "1.5 OZ" said I. Then he shoved the coupon in my face
and repeated the question..."1.5" said I again. Then I told the guy, while my wife begged me to keep my cool
that I wasn't there to teach basic math and demanded to see a "real manager".
Finally a Haitian lady walked up and even though she had no problem accepting the coupon whether it said 1.5 or 1 1/2,
insisted that the coupon was for $1 off not for a 1.5 OZ bag for a buck!
I decided diplomacy was the only recourse so I told her "I know you can understand this because you look like a very intelligent woman..ETC."
At which point she didn't want to seem unintelligent, so she asked me for a dollar gave me the bag and smile while she said "Good night, monsieur"
I tried to pay her the tax but she just waived me away.
But remember, we had TWO coupons. I decided to get this out of the way as soon as we could so
we drove to the other close by walmart.
Well, as Jack Benny would say...
They only had one bag of Capt'n Black left, no other..
The cashier didn't want to accept he coupon 'cause it said 1.5 OZs and the bag said 1 1/2,
the manager insisted the coupon was only for $1 OFF..her manager was home, if I wanted I could wait until tomorrow to talk to him..
I told her that if I had to wait I'd call walmart corporate and tell them their assistant manager couldn't read
where the coupon says "RETAILER: Charge customer $1 plus applicable sales tax,
then write the actual price of the product minus tax in the space provided."
She started to get angry but then decided to take my $1 plus tax as if she was doing me a favor.
Of course, I didn't tell her that had I called walmart corporate
they probably would have directed me to their jobs url or tried to sell me some flash cards...then again, maybe not. I can read.
Last year my wife got a spam phishing email claiming to be a secret shopper opportunity from Walmart.
I checked the links in the email and verified it was bogus so I forwarded the email, with all headers to abuse at walmart dot com.
A few days later my lady got a reply from walmart thanking her for her interest in job opportunities at walmart and directing to the proper url at which to apply for a job..for a rewarding career at walmart.
A couple of months ago when we were shopping around for school supplies for (not so) little Ghengis Baba (my son)
he remembered that walmart publishes lists of required supplies for most of the local public schools, so we went to walmart dot com.
There, listed as a requirement for my kid's magnet school advanced class was a "USB FLASH CARD" accompanied by a photo of a deck of math flash cards..
Ghengis and I cracked up 'cause we know, and that "USB" is a dead give away, that what they want at school is the students have a "USB flash *drive*", two of them in fact.
I emailed Walmart and they replied that they would correct the requirement listed on the site if and when they were contacted by a representative of the miami-dade county school board..when they got back from summer vacation.
After school started a school admin showed me the requirement list, it said "flash drive". Guess walmart needed to unload some flash cards..
And now the punch line: I smoke a pipe. One of the tobaccos I like is capt'n black.
The manufacturer, scandinavian tobacco group sent my wife a couple of coupons,
one for a sample and one as a reward for answering a survey.
The manufacturer coupons, good for 1.5 OZ of any of several of their pipe tobacco products
clearly said right above a fill in the blank space, "RETAILER: Charge customer $1 plus applicable sales tax,
then write the actual price of the product minus tax in the space provided."
Oh boy! The only close by retailer that even sells pipe tobacco is walmart.
walgreen's sells Blender's Gold which might as well be sawdust..but other than a trek to the mall
the place to get a fix is walmart..
They had one bag of Capt'n Black left, no other scandinavian brands which is a bummer 'cause I wanted to try half & half.
First the manufacturer coupon wouldn't scan. I asked for a manager.
The ASSistant manager first insisted that I was trying to cheat walmart because the coupon was for
a 1.5 OZ bag of tobacco and the bag of Capt'n Black was 1 1/2 OZ (I'm still incredulous)
"Sir, are you really the manager here?" To which the guy shoved the bag of tobak in my face and
growled: "Well, what does that say?". "1.5 OZ" said I. Then he shoved the coupon in my face
and repeated the question..."1.5" said I again. Then I told the guy, while my wife begged me to keep my cool
that I wasn't there to teach basic math and demanded to see a "real manager".
Finally a Haitian lady walked up and even though she had no problem accepting the coupon whether it said 1.5 or 1 1/2,
insisted that the coupon was for $1 off not for a 1.5 OZ bag for a buck!
I decided diplomacy was the only recourse so I told her "I know you can understand this because you look like a very intelligent woman..ETC."
At which point she didn't want to seem unintelligent, so she asked me for a dollar gave me the bag and smile while she said "Good night, monsieur"
I tried to pay her the tax but she just waived me away.
But remember, we had TWO coupons. I decided to get this out of the way as soon as we could so
we drove to the other close by walmart.
Well, as Jack Benny would say...
They only had one bag of Capt'n Black left, no other..
The cashier didn't want to accept he coupon 'cause it said 1.5 OZs and the bag said 1 1/2,
the manager insisted the coupon was only for $1 OFF..her manager was home, if I wanted I could wait until tomorrow to talk to him..
I told her that if I had to wait I'd call walmart corporate and tell them their assistant manager couldn't read
where the coupon says "RETAILER: Charge customer $1 plus applicable sales tax,
then write the actual price of the product minus tax in the space provided."
She started to get angry but then decided to take my $1 plus tax as if she was doing me a favor.
Of course, I didn't tell her that had I called walmart corporate
they probably would have directed me to their jobs url or tried to sell me some flash cards...then again, maybe not. I can read.
Mrs Irish Mike
Oct 25, 2013, 2:22:57 PM10/25/13
to
A. Smoking is not frugal, so you could have marked this as OT.
B. Everyone is wrong except you- a sure sign of madness. You could have taken a picture of said coupon and let us see what you were talking about.
C. What did you expect? WalMart is the largest employer of people stuck on welfare. When a newly hired worker is hired, he is given classes on how to apply for food-stamps and how to qualify for State paid child care. Just pay your money and shut up. You want service, you go to a place that offers service.
D. Continue to shop WalMart and your child can hope to continue his education so that he can ask, "Do you want fries with that?", in several languages.
E. I just thought of this; You driving around to use a coupon burned more gas than you 'saved'.
B. Everyone is wrong except you- a sure sign of madness. You could have taken a picture of said coupon and let us see what you were talking about.
C. What did you expect? WalMart is the largest employer of people stuck on welfare. When a newly hired worker is hired, he is given classes on how to apply for food-stamps and how to qualify for State paid child care. Just pay your money and shut up. You want service, you go to a place that offers service.
D. Continue to shop WalMart and your child can hope to continue his education so that he can ask, "Do you want fries with that?", in several languages.
E. I just thought of this; You driving around to use a coupon burned more gas than you 'saved'.
Bob F
Oct 25, 2013, 8:30:11 PM10/25/13
to
Amazing how many people shop at the store that is most trying to impoverish
people like them, by hiring them, and/or exporting their manufacturing jobs.
Lex Touche
Oct 26, 2013, 5:54:03 AM10/26/13
to
On Friday, October 25, 2013 2:22:57 PM UTC-4, Mrs Irish Mike wrote:
> A. Smoking is not frugal, so you could have marked this as OT.
>>>-------------->
> A. Smoking is not frugal, so you could have marked this as OT.
A net cop! Smoking a pipe has long been considered the frugal alternative to ciggies.
Using coupons to save money, particularly coupons which allow the purchase of a $5 product for $1 is frugal also. So I can mark this post whatever I want.
Don't like it? Quick, get a moderator!
> B. Everyone is wrong except you- a sure sign of madness. You could have taken a picture of said coupon and let us see what you were talking about.
Expecting people to bend over backward for you only because of your limited ability to visualize is sociopathic.
Not everyone was wrong, only the dummies at Walmart.
> C. What did you expect? WalMart is the largest employer of people stuck on welfare. When a newly hired worker is hired, he is given classes on how to apply for food-stamps and how to qualify for State paid child care. Just pay your money and shut up. You want service, you go to a place that offers service.
I don't want service I want tobacco and Walmart is the only local retailer that carries the brand the coupon was for.
Had I driven out of my way to a place that offered service the use of the coupon wouldn't have been frugal.
> D. Continue to shop WalMart and your child can hope to continue his education so that he can ask, "Do you want fries with that?", in several languages.
Non-sequitur.
Suppose I continue to shop at Walmart so that people like you can continue to have jobs where they teach you to apply for food stamps..
> E. I just thought of this; You driving around to use a coupon burned more gas than you 'saved'.
It thinks!
I didn't drive "around", it was a straight line.
The $4 I saved by using the coupon more than paid for the gas
my electric car used...
Moreover, we also needed an item not in stock at the first store.
Message has been deleted
Michael Black
Oct 26, 2013, 7:35:35 PM10/26/13
to
On Sat, 26 Oct 2013, Derald wrote:
> funny one, Lex
>
> Read your whine; no sympathy here. Apparently, you expected some level
> of competence from Wallyworld and its minions. Now, _that's_ funny!
I just figured they saw "consumers" in the newsgroup name, and confused
this newsgroup with the actual consumer newsgroup, misc.consumers
Michael
> funny one, Lex
>
> Read your whine; no sympathy here. Apparently, you expected some level
> of competence from Wallyworld and its minions. Now, _that's_ funny!
I just figured they saw "consumers" in the newsgroup name, and confused
this newsgroup with the actual consumer newsgroup, misc.consumers
Michael
Mrs Irish Mike
Oct 30, 2013, 6:07:13 PM10/30/13
to
On Saturday, October 26, 2013 2:54:03 AM UTC-7, Lex Touch wrote:
> On Friday, October 25, 2013 2:22:57 PM UTC-4, Mrs Irish Mike wrote:
>
> > A. Smoking is not frugal, so you could have marked this as OT.
>
>
>
> >>>-------------->
>
> A net cop! Smoking a pipe has long been considered the frugal alternative to ciggies.
>
Used to be, but not anymore. One night on the cancer ward will cost more than you ever saved your entire smoking career. Hell, the depreciation of your car from that stank is more than you'll ever "save".
> On Friday, October 25, 2013 2:22:57 PM UTC-4, Mrs Irish Mike wrote:
>
> > A. Smoking is not frugal, so you could have marked this as OT.
>
>
>
> >>>-------------->
>
> A net cop! Smoking a pipe has long been considered the frugal alternative to ciggies.
>
I snipped the rest of your rant, because it just pointed to your real problem. You ooze attitude. The WalMart drones picked up on it and effed with you. Nothing better than screwing with a customer with a 'tude, dude. I bet they yukked it up the rest of the shift after you left. "The look on his face when I said 1.5 is not the same as 1 1/2. Priceless. I thought he was going to blow a gasket."
You must have slipped and let on that you were going to the other WalMart. They probably called ahead to have them continue the joke. No one, ever, has been fired from Wally World for having a passive-aggressive attitude.
BTW, I had a friend who smoked that rank Captain Black crap. I love the smell of a good pipe. And that stuff is not a good pipe. The smell gets into everything. And then they tobacco crumbs all over the place. I feel sorry for whoever has to suffer you smoking.
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