Bike Safari Tours in Miami Beach and beyond?
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, originator of the Stop the Bullshit Campaign
The moderator kind of likes me since he's a cyclist and has been hit
himself, so we'll see. Notice, the tours may be expanded into your
city too!)
Well, the Bicycle Program seems to finally be coming this April 15th.
Great, at least there will be "safety in numbers," a survival strategy
practiced by many species in the Kalahari desert. The alligators and
other beasts just sit there waiting for the herd to come...
To be honest, our roads don't have any sign of being tamed by bike
facilities nor do the beasts seem to be under control of any sort. I'm
still grinding and walking bicycles and shamefully bumping pedestrians
along the way. (I even say sorry.)
I dare to propose a Safari Tour for Europeans for those of you who
like "life on the wild side," at least for a short while. Yes, at the
end of the trip, you will have the satisfaction of having survived
among the beasts --if you survive. The beasts will be real and
untamed. If they are drugged it's because they took it on their own.
This a REALITY SHOW.
We will be launching from the causeway (Channel 7 to be exact) to
secure TV coverage from a station known to be where the mayhem is, and
then proceed to Indian Creek (around 65 ST), the MOST DANGEROUS PLACE
ON EARTH FOR A BIKE. When we get to South Beach where we know things
are fairly safe and then we can relax a little before we head back. We
may take a plunge in the ocean as well looking for the sharks. No, not
many.
Hey, we may decide to go to the Nudist Beach over that deadly bridge
at Haulover and finally decide that it's better to ride a beach
cruiser on the sand. Of all the bikes I have I can only enjoy the
beach cruiser. But you are looking for excitement, right?
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His Highness the TibetanMonkey, originator of the Stop the Bullshit Campaign
about the SAFARI BICYCLE TOUR --Urban Jungle style.
Not too far from Miami --in the middle of the Everglades-- there's a
famous bike ride location: Shark Valley. Of course, there are no
sharks, just alligators, so people ride and see the reptilians basking
in the sun as well as harmless birds. I've never heard of an alligator
swallowing a cyclist, but I've heard of a driver or two trying to
swallow a cyclist. In other words, the Urban Jungle is where the
excitement is...
"Your options consist of a tram ride ($) or cycling ($ for rentals) a
paved path 7 miles to an observation tower, then 8 miles back along a
different track (also paved)."
http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g143024-r6908058-Everglades_National_Park_Florida.html
***
For an extra fee, you can have the alligators dance for you. Just
kidding. ;)
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, originator of the Stop the Bullshit Campaign
downtown Miami IF IT WERE SAFE...
"This park is located on US 41 (Tamiami Trail) 35 miles from downtown
Miami, and 17.5 miles west of Florida Highway 997 (Krome Avenue)."
Imagine you go on a bike tour along Little Havana and beyond through
the Urban Jungle... Will you make it alive? Or will you just throw
yourself to the alligators in desperation?
"Strap you bike to the car and make your way out there, you will not
regret it !"
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-shark-valley-visitor-center-at-everglades-national-park-miami
I wonder why it says "strap your bike to the car" and not "get on your
bike and go!"?
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, originator of the Stop the Bullshit Campaign
> His Highness the TibetanMonkey, aka Comandante Banana wrote:
>
> > (from my local forum)
>
> > Posted by Jess
> > "Once the deco bike program launches, motorists in Miami Beach will
> > have no choice but to move over and give way to bicycles. The bikes
> > are going to take over
>
> Have to?
>
> You're talking about Miami Beach, right? Home of the old geezers that can't
> see beyond their Cadillac hood ornaments. "I had the right of way" is going
> to look great as an epitaph on your tombstone.
>
> Pressure the city (over the screaming objections of developers) to put in
> more dedicated bike lanes. Not take them out. Stop letting the anti car
> crusaders use bicycles as speed bumps.
First Tunisia, next Egypt, then Miami Beach...
Get the hint? ;)
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, originator of the Stop the Bullshit Campaign
Well, I'm assuming certain IQ on your part...
It works like this, oil prices hit 10 bucks a gallon, we scrap the
SUVs and make room for million of bikes. The old guard must give way
to the young blood asking for fun under the sun.