Ask Amy: Mothers who "host" their own showers

[Lenona]

(I have to say, in Amy's response, I REALLY think her second paragraph
is pathetic. What, exactly, has "changed" that makes it OK to demand
gifts - no matter how much-needed - without at least apologizing for
doing so? Thankfully, most of the commentators at the Washington Post
agreed that Amy was wrong to suggest that it should now be "polite" to
do this. They also pointed out that if no friend or relative is
willing to host a shower - and what ARE the expenses for doing that,
other than punch and cookies, anyway? - there's probably something
wrong with the mother. At the least, maybe she shouldn't be having
kids right now.)

Lenona.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/23/AR2010122306131.html

Dear Amy: An expectant mother sent me an invitation to attend a baby
shower she is giving for herself in her house.

I find this to be crude begging for gifts (gimme, gimme), but I am
told that this is a new fashion when relatives or friends cannot or
will not give showers for an occasion (engagement, wedding, arrival of
a baby, etc.)

Am I behind the times when I find this demeaning? — Disgusted Guest

Dear Disgusted: I fail to see how this invitation is demeaning — to
you, anyway.

There was a time in relatively recent memory when people wouldn't host
showers to celebrate their own milestones (nor could immediate family
members host), but times have changed, circumstances have changed,
values have changed — and marriage and families have definitely
changed.

If you are so disgusted by this idea that you won't be able to be a
good and courteous guest (and you don't sound able to be), then you
should send your regrets. Politely. Without comment.

[Bill]

I was just explaining to a young friend about relationships, being a
"giving" type person (how I and many older people I know are), and how
many young people I know these days are quite selfish / self centered,
etc.

And this does not surprise me one bit - giving your own shower to get
the gifts. But birds of a feather flock together. I would also not be
surprised if the invited "friends" to such a shower brought no gifts!

"Lenona" wrote in message

(I have to say, in Amy's response, I REALLY think her second paragraph
is pathetic. What, exactly, has "changed" that makes it OK to demand
gifts - no matter how much-needed - without at least apologizing for
doing so? Thankfully, most of the commentators at the Washington Post
agreed that Amy was wrong to suggest that it should now be "polite" to
do this. They also pointed out that if no friend or relative is
willing to host a shower - and what ARE the expenses for doing that,
other than punch and cookies, anyway? - there's probably something
wrong with the mother. At the least, maybe she shouldn't be having
kids right now.)

Lenona.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/23/AR2010122306131.html

Dear Amy: An expectant mother sent me an invitation to attend a baby
shower she is giving for herself in her house.

I find this to be crude begging for gifts (gimme, gimme), but I am
told that this is a new fashion when relatives or friends cannot or
will not give showers for an occasion (engagement, wedding, arrival of
a baby, etc.)

Am I behind the times when I find this demeaning? � Disgusted Guest

Dear Disgusted: I fail to see how this invitation is demeaning � to
you, anyway.

There was a time in relatively recent memory when people wouldn't host
showers to celebrate their own milestones (nor could immediate family
members host), but times have changed, circumstances have changed,

values have changed � and marriage and families have definitely