Confirmed: No bicycles in Heaven!
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
if Heaven is for big shots only, but this bastard (it must be a
bastard) denied there are bicycles in which case the poor are denied
admission.
Funny, I already was getting ideas like jumping with my monkey bike
all over the place and never getting hurt or killed. The idea of
wings, on the other hand, seem to have fallen out of fashion and now
people try to use their power and influence to get near God.
But like I say, Heaven and Hell are on this Earth and cyclists are
pedestrians with wings. Only poor pedestrians don't have wings and are
threatened by cyclists on sidewalks. Even our roads are pretty hellish
too for drivers! Such is life, Darwinism all around us.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Derek C
the deep jungle" <nolionnoprob...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Someone just told me that only SUVs are found in Heaven. I don't know
> if Heaven is for big shots only, but this bastard (it must be a
> bastard) denied there are bicycles in which case the poor are denied
> admission.
>
> Funny, I already was getting ideas like jumping with my monkey bike
> all over the place and never getting hurt or killed. The idea of
> wings, on the other hand, seem to have fallen out of fashion and now
> people try to use their power and influence to get near God.
>
> But like I say, Heaven and Hell are on this Earth and cyclists are
> pedestrians with wings. Only poor pedestrians don't have wings and are
> threatened by cyclists on sidewalks. Even our roads are pretty hellish
> too for drivers! Such is life, Darwinism all around us.
>
Why would you need bicycles in heaven when you are equipped with a
nice pair of wings?
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
I hate flying. Heaven must have bicycles or scooters.
Actually I think scooters are way more fun, but it doesn't keep you
fit. And who cares anyway when we all will be fat up there. (This is
an educated guess, seeing Christians being lazy and driving to the
store.)
You know, we should drive scooters instead of cars.
Opus
I think what the person you were communicating with was saying was
that should we need transportation in Heaven, we would not need to
exert ourselves doing so, not that thee were fleets of SUVs carrying
people around. Of course in an infinitely large space over an
infinitely large surface, any transportation system eventually becomes
useless if it runs at a finite speed like all vehicular systems must.
SUVs, scooters, and even bicycles would be mere diversions in Heaven,
which would violate the stated purpose of praising the God that
brought us there, endlessly. From my point of view the only difference
between the way Heaven and Hell are depicted is the means of torment,
Hell being physical and Heaven being psychological.
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
In other words, cyclists suffer both Heaven and Hell. Heaven is the
promise, but Heaven is the reality.
If we got nothing to do up there though what's the point of being
there? Heaven will be Hell!
Even my parrots go crazy when I don't provide them something to do.
Opus
the deep jungle" <comandante.ban...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Jan 26, 12:30 pm, Opus <opusthep...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > I think what the person you were communicating with was saying was
> > that should we need transportation in Heaven, we would not need to
> > people around. Of course in an infinitely large space over an
> > infinitely large surface, any transportation system eventually becomes
> > useless if it runs at a finite speed like all vehicular systems must.
> > SUVs, scooters, and even bicycles would be mere diversions in Heaven,
> > which would violate the stated purpose of praising the God that
> > brought us there, endlessly. From my point of view the only difference
> > between the way Heaven and Hell are depicted is the means of torment,
> > Hell being physical and Heaven being psychological.
>
> In other words, cyclists suffer both Heaven and Hell. Heaven is the
> promise, but Heaven is the reality.
>
> If we got nothing to do up there though what's the point of being
> there? Heaven will be Hell!
>
> Even my parrots go crazy when I don't provide them something to do.
But we will have something to do in Heaven, we will be endlessly
singing praises to Gawd after being blessed with perfect singing
voices, which means that Gawd is such an insecure sociopath that He
must be endlessly praised, or that Heaven is utter Bunk as a concept.
Given that Christians can't stand to have anything that contradicts
their Bible taught in our schools (or even anything they think might
contradict what's in their imaginary bible), either one is a good
working hypothesis.
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
They will singing praise to Gawd from 8 to 12 in the morning. Then
half an hour lunch and more BS. That's Bible Study until 7pm, when you
get to discuss the stuff you learned and tested, until everybody goes
to bed at 10 pm.
When you get an F they send you to Hell, where everybody does whatever
they want.
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
> On Jan 27, 2:14 pm, Wombat <tri...@multiweb.nl> wrote:
> > On Jan 26, 10:31 pm, Father Haskell <fatherhask...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > > The wheel was left for humans to invent, along with 8 cog
> > > clusters and Campy derailleurs.
>
> > I was thinking of the Velocette LE with its QD shaft drive wheel that
> > could be removed in circa 45 seconds.
> God didn't give us those, either.
God didn't give us the wheel because he was afraid. He made us bipedal
though which means he knew about the pedals.
He didn't give us wings because we would be flying all over the place,
and kings and rulers couldn't keep us confined to a place. Of course,
he hates people who like to roam around. Only angels can.
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
> On Jan 24, 12:58 pm, "His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of
> the deep jungle" <nolionnoprob...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Someone just told me that only SUVs are found in Heaven. I don't know
> > if Heaven is for big shots only, but this bastard (it must be a
> > bastard) denied there are bicycles in which case the poor are denied
> > admission.
>
> > Funny, I already was getting ideas like jumping with my monkey bike
> > all over the place and never getting hurt or killed. The idea of
> > wings, on the other hand, seem to have fallen out of fashion and now
> > people try to use their power and influence to get near God.
>
> > But like I say, Heaven and Hell are on this Earth and cyclists are
> > pedestrians with wings. Only poor pedestrians don't have wings and are
> > threatened by cyclists on sidewalks. Even our roads are pretty hellish
> > too for drivers! Such is life, Darwinism all around us.
>
>
> >http://webspawner.com/users/BANANAREVOLUTION
>
> Christ rides a unicycle. The bible says so.
You sure? I think it says the Bible is to be recycled.
Unless you want to burn it but that's no good for the Planet.
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
> On Wed 1/26/11 22:53, Ben Kaufman wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Wed, 26 Jan 2011 19:14:15 -0600, Dakota<ma...@NOSPAMmail.com> wrote:
>
> >> On Wed 1/26/11 14:46, Father Haskell wrote:
> >>> On Jan 24, 12:58 pm, "His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of
> >>> the deep jungle"<nolionnoprob...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >>>> Someone just told me that only SUVs are found in Heaven. I don't know
> >>>> if Heaven is for big shots only, but this bastard (it must be a
> >>>> bastard) denied there are bicycles in which case the poor are denied
> >>>> admission.
>
> >>>> Funny, I already was getting ideas like jumping with my monkey bike
> >>>> all over the place and never getting hurt or killed. The idea of
> >>>> wings, on the other hand, seem to have fallen out of fashion and now
> >>>> people try to use their power and influence to get near God.
>
> >>>> But like I say, Heaven and Hell are on this Earth and cyclists are
> >>>> pedestrians with wings. Only poor pedestrians don't have wings and are
> >>>> threatened by cyclists on sidewalks. Even our roads are pretty hellish
> >>>> too for drivers! Such is life, Darwinism all around us.
>
> >>>> ---------------------------------------------------------------
>
> >>>>http://webspawner.com/users/BANANAREVOLUTION
>
> >>> Christ rides a unicycle. The bible says so.
>
> >> it says, "He drove them out in his Fury."
>
> >>http://www.fark.com/comments/3144406/What-would-Jesus-drive-I-just-as...
>
> > I hope he had an air freshener.
>
> > Ben
>
> He had one of those pine tree shaped ones hanging from the mirror along
> with the fuzzy dice. Plastic himself on the dash. Jesus was cool, man.
Jesus is supercool...
http://imgs.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/hleon/2010/12/17/9_funny_jesus_thumbs_up.jpg
If I were to come up with a brand air-conditioners, I'd call them
Jesus.
And the Devil is hot, superhot!
D_Fru...@ndersnat.ch
Dolan and the Monkey won't be there. Cf. Revelation 8:1
Edward Dolan
news:ii34qj$gj2$1...@news.xmission.com...
> I don't know about bikes, but the Bible states quite clearly that
> Dolan and the Monkey won't be there. Cf. Revelation 8:1
You obviously have no conception of My Greatness. The Monkey (TM) is a total
asshole-idiot. I, on the other hand, am a total Great Saint. Jeez, try to
get things straight why don't you.
Regards,
Ed Dolan the Great - Minnesota
aka
Saint Edward the Great - Order of the Perpetual Sorrows - Minnesota
His Highness the TibetanMonkey, the prophet of the deep jungle
> <D_Frumio...@ndersnat.ch> wrote in message
>
> news:ii34qj$gj2$1...@news.xmission.com...
>
> > I don't know about bikes, but the Bible states quite clearly that
> > Dolan and the Monkey won't be there. Cf. Revelation 8:1
>
> You obviously have no conception of My Greatness. The Monkey (TM) is a total
> asshole-idiot. I, on the other hand, am a total Great Saint. Jeez, try to
> get things straight why don't you.
Dolan won't be there because he's too great and God may fear
competition.
I just don't want to be there.