Miss Manners on child support
Lenona
Lenona.
http://www.buffalonews.com/life/columns-advice/miss-manners/article252549.ece
Dear Miss Manners: Is it acceptable to have a big party for the end
of child support being paid to an ex-spouse?
Gentle Reader: Only if you know people who would be charmed by your
exultation at severing the responsibility for your child that is no
more than is expected of every parent. And who would enjoy your sneer
about the person who has been doing the daily job of rearing your
child. Miss Manners is not among them.
JTEM
Lenona <lenona...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> http://www.buffalonews.com/life/columns-advice/miss-manners/article25...
>
> Dear Miss Manners: Is it acceptable to have a big party
> for the end of child support being paid to an ex-spouse?
>
> Gentle Reader: Only if you know people who would be charmed
> by your exultation at severing the responsibility for your child
> that is no more than is expected of every parent.
Miss Manners is dreadfully out of touch with reality.
There is *Zero* correlation between "Child Support" and
"Responsibility," and none but the ignorant believe "Fair" or
"Right" enters into the equation at all.
I know a gentleman who is collecting Social Security disability
payments, for example, and in two days he gets out of jail
(after serving a six-month sentence) for not earning what the
court-ordered child support told him he has to earn & pay.
Perhaps Miss Manners can explain to all of us how a man can
both qualify for Social Security disability checks AND earn
an above-average living? Please take into account that he has
no college degree, and is in his 60s at this point.
Can you say, "Unemployable"?
He's hardly the "Exception to the rule." My county maintains
a 30-bed ward in the county jail just for people like him, and
there's never a time when it's empty.
One man was earning a great living, before the economy shit
the bed and his consulting business collapsed. His ex agreed
to a reduction to something he could actually afford, they went
to court to lower the payments and the court agreed. But the
new, lower amount only applies to FUTURE payments. He was
in arrears for a considerable sum, officially, and together with
interest the court added his new "Lower" payment was actually
a hefty increase!
New "Low" payment + Arrears + Interest == Hefty Increase.
Yup, the guy ended up as a guest in the county jail for failing
"Fulfill his responsibility."
Oh, it gets worse. It gets a LOT worse...
Do you know what the court does if you're behind child support
payments? They take away your license. Your license to drive,
your license to practice medicine... whatever. Yes, they even do
this when they are depriving the man of his means to earn a
living -- like a truck driver or a doctor.
Yes. They really do take away a mans means for earning a
living, and they won't give it back until he's earned enough
money to pay whatever it is the court owes.
One "Guest" of the county jail was driving for a living. Like the
consultant, he had lost a lucrative job, found a much less paying
one as a driver and asked for an ex-spouse approved reduction
in his court ordered payments. Again, he was granted a reduction
but only for future payments, so...
New "Lower" payments + Arrears + Interest == Much higher payments.
They took away his license -- costing him his job as a driver --
before finally locking him up in the county jail for "Contempt."
Oh, "Arrears" would be the child support that the man couldn't
pay because his unemployment and then the new job were both
so much less than his previous salary. It's the "Accumulated
Difference" between the court ordered child support and whatever
the man was able to pay, collected between the time he lost the
good job and the time the court lowered his payments.
And one more thing: There is no -- as in "Zero" -- legal aid for
fathers in such a position. There is for mothers, yes, but none
what so ever exists for dads. They're not even entitled to a
court-appointed lawyer, as worthless as they usually are.
Steal a pizza and they give you a lawyer, though it's almost
impossible to go to jail for such a crime. Be an unemployed
or underemployed dad with court-ordered child support though,
and you face up to six months AT A TIME (they can keep
locking you up) with no right to representation.
So tell Miss Manners to borrow a dollar and buy herself a clue.
Thanks bunches.
Lenona
whom are the founders(?) of "Fathers and Families") and suggested to
them that they contact MM and point out that it's passing rudeness
when a mother refuses to prove that she isn't squandering the CS money
(shouldn't the CS laws force her to prove it, if they're really
written in the interest of the child?) or when she makes it hard for
the father to see his children.
If you'd like to contact her with your above information, her website
is www.missmanners.com .
Lenona.
Lenona
- you'll be the first to express that opinion. I checked.
Here's the link - 13 comments so far.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/01/AR2010110104286.html
Lenona.