Miss Manners: On nosy financial questions
Lenona
Lenona.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=24474793
Dear Miss Manners,
My fiancée and I have a college friend that we have kept in close
touch with. A few years back, we made a 200-mile move for a better job
in a huge city. The move has done well for us and we are looking to
buy our first house in the next year.
At the news our friend replied, "But houses there cost like XXX
dollars!!" He then asked about other personal things like how much we
made and if we were in any debt. I bluntly changed the question and
the conversation quickly went sour. The situation was further strained
by the fact that he is currently out of work. I felt rude not
answering the question, but I felt the question in itself was rude and
made for an awkward situation.
My question is, is it wrong to ask financial questions of friends, or
was it I that committed the no-no by brushing him off and possibly
damaging the friendship?
Gentle Reader,
Both. Nosy questions are rude and need not be answered, but giving
blundering friends the brush-off is not quite nice, either.
Especially in light of your friend's misfortune, Miss Manners would
have preferred something gentler, such as "Well, we really don't
discuss our finances, but let me just say that we feel very fortunate
to be able to do this. And we hope you will visit us there often."