Miss Manners: "Giving cash without offense" (re college tuition)
Lenona
Dear Miss Manners: A dear friend of many years has fallen on hard
times. She is a single mother and her son will be starting college in
the fall. She has confided to a mutual friend that she is worried that
she may not be able to afford the costs. Her son is a wonderful young
man, and I would like to help both of them out. He has a scholarship
for his tuition, and I would like to pay his room and board for the
upcoming year.
I am thinking of contacting the school and simply paying the room and
board and asking them to tell her it was part of the scholarship, but
this seems dishonest. However, my friend is a very proud woman and I
do not want to embarrass her in any way, and I’m afraid telling her I
want to pay the room and board would make her uncomfortable.
What is the most polite way to handle such a situation? Is there a
general rule for giving money to a friend in need? This would be a
gift —no repayment would be expected.
(snip)
MM's response is nice, but the commenters - 17 of them or so -
disagree with it, and I have to wonder if they aren't right.
Check out the letter that follows it, too - it's about wedding gifts.
Lenona.