WEDDING PLANS? Save Your Money, Your Solvency, and Your Sanity!
RIMme
(dreaming) of that big, once-in-a-lifetime, EXPENSIVE wedding and
RECEPTION(!) -- why don't you think ... again.
As you know, half of U.S. marriages end up on the rocks.
And as you also know, planned wedding ceremonies and receptions are
COSTLY. Not too unlike FUNERALS, where a perfect stranger makes
outrageous arrangements the costs of which are not even close to the
actual funeral home's out-of-pocket expenses.
Wedding events, however, are way beyond the rip-offs generated by
morticians. And that wedding planner, the photographer, and all the
other highly dispensable hangers-on -- you'll never SEE 'em again.
Even if you have post-nuptial complaints!
Is it, are they, worth it?
You can do yourself and your betrothed a big favor by electing one of
the following options:
a) Get hitched at City Hall and forego going into the tens of
thousands of dollars of big DEBT your cousin spent on her wedding
three years ago, just three years before her divorce.
b) Plan your wedding/reception so carefully that you'll hardly miss
the dough you spent. And the disliked people you avoided.
c) Have your religious leader marry you in a small church ceremony,
just to be able to say your marriage is somehow "blessed," pay the
preach the $75, then go on a nice honeymoon within your budget(s).
d) Continue to live together sans license and go on making memories
and enjoying the closeness, conversations, cuddling -- and fine sex --
you've come to love -- and save, save, save for your future together.
When it comes your marriage, getting ripped-off doesn't guarantee
anything but the bills in the mail.
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"Your Big Fat Foolish Wedding"
By Michelle Singletary
Thursday, March 20, 2008; D02
In several recent online discussions, I've gotten into a debate about
the cost of a wedding.
It all started when someone on a tight budget asked: "How do I find a
place and feed 100 people?"
I responded that the best solution is to stick to your budget and cut
the guest list.
Well, you would have thought I had attacked the very institution of
family.
Here's what one person said: "I was surprised at your advice to the
poster who wanted to reduce wedding costs.
I absolutely agree that people should stick to a wedding budget, but I
was raised to believe that weddings are not just about the couple, but
about the families being joined together. So the guest list is the
last thing to cut, not the first."
Another wrote: "Certain cultures and religions do place a lot of
emphasis on family during a wedding celebration."
Then there was this response from someone who cut costs and was
ridiculed by relatives.
"My family was just appalled at the 'quaintness' of my wedding, a
lunch with a cocktail hour," the person wrote. "It wasn't a big New
York blowout. I got married in Atlanta. They wouldn't even have
thought about coming down here if they weren't getting fed. Honestly,
I would have been embarrassed to do much less."
There you have it, folks.
This is one the reasons so many people are broke. They -- perhaps even
you -- are trying to meet other people's expectations.
A wedding is not about the family. The families aren't being joined
together (although you likely will have to deal with a lot of family
drama). A wedding is about the couple. (And no, Bridezilla, it's not
about you.) It's supposed to be about the vows the two people make to
each other. Onlookers, except for the required official and/or
witnesses, are expendable.
Yes, I'm aware that many cultures have blowout bashes to celebrate the
holy matrimony of two people. In some cultures, brides, grooms or
their families spend precious resources -- money, farm animals, etc.
-- to pay for weddings.
But some traditions, no matter how venerable, should be abandoned if
they aren't reasonable. You can and should put a price on this special
day. You should have the wedding you can afford.
When I say afford, I mean weigh the wedding expenses against how that
money could be better used. Consider whether it's worth spending
upward of $30,000 for a wedding in which the majority of the costs
goes toward the reception and honeymoon -- a party and vacation.
At least ask yourself if the money you plan on spending for some
lavish wedding and honeymoon could be better used to pay down debt,
buy a home or invest for retirement.
I've always believed that you start with a budget. Then you plan for
the wedding. That's what I did when planning my own wedding almost 17
years ago. If you start with a guest list, the venue or any of the
other things you want, you will overspend.
ING Direct, the online banking company, surveyed British couples and
found that spiraling costs forced people to postpone their weddings or
abandon getting hitched altogether. Fifteen percent of the couples
said they didn't think they would ever get married, with the majority
claiming this was because of the huge cost involved.
How idiotic that folks who say they've found the love of their life
won't commit because they don't have the funds for the celebration.
You can get married for what it costs to attend a play.
Trust me, there are people who have found marital bliss by spending
less.
"I've already found the friend's back yard to hold the wedding/
reception," one person wrote. "The rest of our money will be spent on
a mini-weekend away until we can afford the European getaway of 'my'
dreams, perhaps as a five-year anniversary gift."
If friends or family complain about a small guest list, simply say,
"We would love to have a bigger bash but we just can't." End the
discussion there, because it's your life and your money.
Here's what I tell couples fretting over paying for a big wedding.
Spend lavishly for your wedding if you like -- with money you have
saved, not with any debt -- if you can check off the following:
* You have three to six months of living expenses saved up.
* You have a life-happens fund. This fund is used for everyday
expenses, such as car repairs.
* You both are saving for retirement.
* Neither of you has credit card or student loan debt.
* If you have children, there are college funds for each in place.
If you can't check off every single item on that list, then you need
to reconsider big reception plans and go on an inexpensive honeymoon,
because you can't afford more.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/19/A2008031903452.html