Ask Amy: "Urge daughter to protect heart, wallet"
leno...@yahoo.com
Amy suggests? I'm guessing a large percentage don't.
Lenona.
http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/32373354.html?elr=KArks7PYDiaK7DUHPYDiaK7DUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU
By AMY DICKINSON
Dear Amy: My daughter is in her mid-20s and has been in a relationship
for a year with a never-married (we think) guy who is at least 12
years older than she. It's her first serious relationship.
Our daughter is a successful businessperson who owns her own condo and
car and has money in the bank. She is talking about giving up her
condo and moving in with him.
He owns his own place, but he has a huge mortgage and lost his job
about eight months ago. He has been forgoing buying health insurance,
so he must not have money saved up.
We've yet to meet him. There has always been some excuse why we
haven't met.
We've asked her to go slowly and think about where this relationship
is going and what she's doing, but we fear it may be too late. Aside
from the emotional pitfalls, we are afraid that in this economic
climate she is going to commit financial suicide.
What can we say to her?
HEARTSICK MOM
Amy says: You should continue to urge your daughter to be careful and
cautious -- all the time realizing that she is an adult and thus
responsible for her own disasters, romantic and otherwise.
Before cohabiting, your daughter should consider pursuing a prenuptial
or "cohabitation agreement." This process would require both parties
to fully disclose their financial situations and negotiate terms in
which they choose what to commingle and what to keep separate.
The process of disclosure and negotiation is an important one -- not
only for the necessary truth-telling, but because this is an important
test of both parties' ability to realistically make choices on their
own behalf and on behalf of the relationship.
It can be an eye-opener.
Rod Speed
> My only question is, how often do couples who plan to MARRY do what Amy suggests?
> I'm guessing a large percentage don't.
Corse they dont. Hardly anyone is that stupid.
Thats not what marraige is about.