FWD Having fun with Debitas (a bill collection agency)
phil scott
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After having an all out argument with Capital One where my card was
used fraudulently - they decided because I take care of my card then
it MUST be my fault.
So they passed it over to Debitas who have written the normal
threatening letters, so I have written to them asking for the CCA etc.
They have been calling persistently now for weeks - so today I decided
to have some fun:
I need to point a couple of things out to those that haven't read the
whole thread
* I do not recognise the debt as mine, I didn't spend the money so I'm
not giving my good hard earned cash to capital one just because they
think I should be liable for the fraud that happened on my card
* I am taking the correct legal action against Debitas through post -
hence the reason I also refuse to deal with them on the phone
* CAB are seeking some legal advice on my behalf as to whether I can
use the recorded calls
* CAB are also seeking legal advice as to how I would claim against
them for harassment - CAB are adamant that they have breached several
codes of conduct
So, the serious bits are being taken care of - but for now, I'm still
gonna enjoy putting these bully boys in their place.
Debitas: Hello can I speak to Mr X
Me: You are
Debitas: Ok, can you confirm your date of birth
Me: Nope
Debitas: Sorry
Me: You're forgiven
Debitas: Sorry
Me: ...
Debitas: I guess you know what this is about - call us back (hangs up)
Call 2:
Debitas: Hello can I speak to Mr X
Me: Who?
Debitas: Mr X
Me: Why would you like to speak to him?
Debitas: Sorry...?
Me: You're forgiven
Debitas: Is this Mr X
Me: Oh, well why don't you tell me your name first
Debitas: That's irrelevant
Me: But if you want to get to know me then it's only right I get to
know you as well
Debitas: (hangs up)
Call 3:
Debitas: Hello, can I speak to Mr X
Me: He's dead
Debitas: Oh, can you send us a copy of the death certificate?
Me: Nope - I don't know who you are
Debitas: We are Debitas Legal Services part of the capital one group
Me: And...?
Debitas: Erm, give me a sec (hangs up)
Call 4:
Debitas: Hello, can I...
Me: (interupting) I was just sleeping
Debitas: Can I speak to...
Me: (interupting) What, I'm going back to sleep (hangs up)
Call 5:
Debitas: Hello, can I speak to Mr X
Me: Only if I can speak to Santa Claus
Debitas: Sorry (hangs up)
I'm getting to enjoy this now - what other questions should I ask?
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Some more calls from them today...
Me: Why hello Debitas, I was worried about you
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X
Me: Where have you been, you've not called since last night
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X please
Me: But you haven't explained why you didn't call me
Debitas: Sorry
Me: Well it's been 12 hours since your last call
Debitas: Are you Mr X?
Me: What does your screen tell you?
Debitas: I need to confirm some security questions
Me: That's nice
Debitas: Can you confirm your date of birth?
Me: Maybe - can you ask me nicely
Debitas: I'll call you back in 20 mins (hangs up)
Debitas: Hello, can I speak to Mr X?
Me: Who?
Debitas: Mr X
Me: And why do you want to speak to him
Debitas: That's confidential
Me: So are his whereabouts so we're at a stalemate aren't we?
Debitas: Erm.......(hangs up)
Me: Oh thank goodness you called
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X please?
Me: Who is calling?
Debitas: Debitas
Me: Why are you calling
Debitas: To discuss an outstanding capital one debt
Me: Thank you for breaching the DPA - this call has been recorded
(hangs up)
I'm looking forward to my next call
Just had another one
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X please?
Me: Maybe
Debitas: Can you confirm your date of birth?
Me: 25/12/00
Debitas: Sorry
Me: 25/12/00 - I am Jesus
Debitas: Sorry
Me: That's Ok, I forgive all sins
Debitas: Is this Mr X
Me: You are speaking to Jesus
Debitas: Urm.....(hangs up)
Me: Hello, Napolean Bonepart speaking
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X
Me: No, you're speaking to Napolean Bonepart
Debitas: Is Mr X there?
Me: Yes, he's being sedated, I am Napolean
Debitas: Can you ask Mr X to call us
Me: Do you speak French
Debitas: Erm, No
Me: pourquoi vous n'allez pas bâton votre tête vers le haut de votre
fond (why don't you go stick your head up your bottom)
Debitas: Sorry, I don't speak French
Me: I AM NAPOLEAN!!
Debitas: .... (hangs up)
Me: Hello, Mr X speaking
Debitas: Is that Mr X?
Me: No, it's Mr X
Debitas: Can you tell me your date of birth
Me: Only if you tell me yours
Debitas: I can see you're not willing to help yourself
Me: Help myself to what? Are yu giving something away?
Debitas: We'll call you back (hangs up)
Me: Hello
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X
Me: You'll have to speak up, I lost my hearing aid
Debitas: (shouting) Can I speak to Mr X
Me: Speaking - how can I help you
Debitas: This is Mr Y from Debitas
Me: Sorry - speak up
Debitas: (shouting) This is Mr Y from Debitas, I need you to pass some
security questions
Me: That's nice
Debitas: Can you confirm your date of birth and post code?
Me: Sorry - speak up boy!
Debitas: Can you confirm your date of birth and post code?
Me: I don't really want to
Debitas: If it makes you feel any better, these details are available
to the public on the electoral role
Me: Great! Why don't you confirm my details there and call me back!!
Debitas: How is that confirming your identity?
Me: Speak up
Debitas: (shouting) How is that confirming your identity
Me: I don't need to confirm my identity - I know who I am
Debitas: Right Mr X, I assume you know what this is about, have you
received our letters?
Me: Oh hang on, I've just found my hearing aid
Debitas: You are not helping yourself and you'll learn this in the
future
Me: Oh dear - are you gonna send the boys around?
Debitas: A bailiff may be sent around
Me: Oh I hope he's the rugby type - does he have a firm bum?
Debitas: Keep your mobile on Mr X (hangs up)
I'm now sure they are just passing my number around the office, here's
the next instalment!
Me: Hello emergency services, how may I direct your call?
Debitas: I am looking for Mr X
Me: Are you in need of help from police, fire or ambulance sir?
Debitas: Sorry
Me: You are through to the emergency services - what is your
emergency?
Debitas: ... (hangs up)
These are surely the last calls of the evening:
Me: Hello, thank you for calling Mr X, Calls may be recorded for
quality and monitoring purposes. Please select from the following
options to continue...
Debitas: (silence)
Me: Press 1 if you are a moron, Press 2 if you are cute, Press 3 if
you'd like some money, Press 4 if you'd like to give me some money or
press the hash key to get high
Debitas: (a button is pressed)
Me: (hangs up)
Immediately afterwards, I mean seconds since the previous call!!
Me: (groan) Grrrrrrrrrrr, Hello
Debitas: Can I speak to Mr X?
Me: nnnnnnnn, uuuuuuurrrrr, groan, grrrrrrr .... yeah, who's calling?
Debitas: It's debitas
Me: Ok, give me a....groan....sec.....ggrrrrr, oooooucch, aaaaargh,
ooooooo, Aaaaah!
Debitas: Are you ok?
Me: Yup, uuuuurgh, aaah, .... just finishing
Debitas: (hangs up)
I'm sure they won't call after 9pm - at least I'm hoping they won't
cause I'm running out of ideas!!
THEY HAD THE CHEEK TO JUST CALL AGAIN!!
Me: Hulo
Debitas: Hello, can I speak to Mr X
Me: Who?
Debitas: Mr X, who am I speaking to?
Me: It's the burglars
Debitas: Sorry?
Me: It's the burglars - we're just leaving there's not much here
Debitas: Is Mr X there?
Me: I hope not, he might catch me
Debitas: Who is this?
Me: it's the burglars - you're not too bright are you?
Debitas: What address are you at?
Me: I dunno but there was a window open
Debitas: ... (hangs up)
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