I Hate Low Flush Toilets
Millhaven
but I was invited so I went, figuring it might be a fun time. There
were dozens of people there, mostly in costume. The first time I took
a leak I realized it was one of those low flush toilets, the water and
piss just slowly drained out.
I had been eating nothing but Halloween candy all week and that was
probably why I was getting pretty constipated. I don't think I went
since Tuesday. Saturday I had some booze and some real food and felt
some familiar twinges in my colon right at the party.
I hit the bathroom and take just about the biggest shit of my life. I
felt like I was giving birth. When I flush the water just sorta goes
around the turd and it sinks a little totally clogging the hole. I try
flushing again and the bowl fills almost to the top with water. I have
no idea what to do now. I was in a panic, my heartbeat started going
up. I tried flushing one more time and now water is spilling out all
over the floor. Now I am in a total rage.
But also I feel that I am not quite done yet. With the toilet out of
order, I say fuck it and sit on the sink and squeeze one more out
there. I try to calm down, I know someone might have to use the room
soon. And I am very angry over having been put in this kind of
situation. I pick up the turd out of the sink with some toilet paper.
I look for the wastebasket, then say fuck it and throw it into mirror.
Then I flush the toilet one more time, open the door and peek out to
make sure the coast is clear.
I rejoin the party for a few minutes. I hear a shrill scream coming
from the direction of the restroom. A few people run toward there to
see what's going on. The guy I was talking to said "It sounds like
someone got lucky." I excuse myself and slip off into the night.
I didn't really have a good time, very bad form hosting a party with
sub-par facilities. Those people weren't my friends anyway. Doesn't
anyone else here hate those low flush toilets?
John Weiss
> Doesn't anyone else here hate those low flush toilets?
Nope.
My Toto Drakes work just fine, regardless of load. I haven't had to
double-flush in 4+ years!
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> Doesn't
>anyone else here hate those low flush toilets?
>
>
>
We have an older, regular flush and a newer low flush toilet. The low
flush always works fine. Oddly, the older, regular flush frequently
requires a double flush (perhaps 20% of the time).
Cindy Hamilton
> I hit the bathroom and take just about the biggest shit of my life. I
> felt like I was giving birth. When I flush the water just sorta goes
> around the turd and it sinks a little totally clogging the hole. I try
> flushing again and the bowl fills almost to the top with water. I have
> no idea what to do now. I was in a panic, my heartbeat started going
> up. I tried flushing one more time and now water is spilling out all
> over the floor. Now I am in a total rage.
What--are you 14 years old? Don't you know not to flush a full
toilet?
Learn what the plunger is for.
Cindy Hamilton
Millhaven
Dennis
Now you're just confusing him. SS/FMG lost his virginity to a
plunger.
Dennis (evil)
--
"There is a fine line between participation and mockery" - Wally
William Souden
clams casino
> Finally a topic that Rod Speed actually knows something about.
He'll be here shortly. He's still flushing............
hchi...@hotmail.com
<mill...@intergate.com> wrote:
>I went to a Halloween party last night. I barely even know the people
>but I was invited so I went, figuring it might be a fun time.
> Saturday I had some booze and some real food and felt
>some familiar twinges in my colon right at the party.
>
>I hit the bathroom and take just about the biggest shit of my life. I
>felt like I was giving birth.
Sounds like you really had your fun, a party, unknown people, booze,
food, and a big dump. This could be the high point of your life, but
I think you have been watching too much South Park. What did Bono
say?
P.S. I think it is obligatory when you throw shit at a mirror to write
something with it, like "At last! I'm feeeee!" or "Man, I feel like
shit." or "Fiber Rulz." or "Be afwaid. Be vewy vewy afwaid!" or some
such.
PPS - You now officially qualify for the party pooper of the year
award.
Tockk
"John Weiss" <jrweiss98...@NOSPAM.comcast.net> wrote in message
news:g6udncBsK97Iw7ja...@comcast.com...
Yep, I put one in my humble barber shop 3 years ago, and it's great.
Highly recommended.
It's a relatively new design, much better than the horrible ones that first
came out in the 1980's. If your toilet is 15-20 years old, ya, you'll be
happier with a Toto.
Some guy did extensive tests on a variety of toilet brands, but I don't
remember where it was. But it rated Toto among the best -- the only ones
that worked better were the ones that ran on compressed air.
Cindy Hamilton
All the more reason not to risk flushing, then.
Cindy Hamilton
Jon v Leipzig
>
> I had been eating nothing but Halloween candy all week and that was
> probably why I was getting pretty constipated. I don't think I went
> since Tuesday. Saturday I had some booze and some real food and felt
> some familiar twinges in my colon right at the party.
Next time, wash the junque down with a sweet potato and large glass of
water.
How about, next time, take a pooper-scooper and "doggie" bag with you.
Do yer biz in the backyard...after marking your turf, of course.