Frugal Volunteer.
Jean P Nance
suppose I could get a name or two from a local nursing home, of someone
who gets little or no mail. In the past I did all kinds of volunteer work.
At present, it is about all we can do to get out for usual tasks;
groceries, other shopping, doctors, dentists. But, I still have my
computer and a working printer, and I really love to write letters.I also
have a large stash of pretty cards that people keep giving me.
Nowdays, as I read the column on "Volunteer Opportunities" which
appears in our paper every week, there is nothing I see that I can do.
Tutoring, I would find difficult because of hearing problems. Same
for visiting in nursing homes. We would be yelling at and
misunderstanding each other, I am afraid.Same
for mentoring. The last time we did try mentoring, the things we did
bored the little boy. He wanted to be taken to the circus, sports events,
movies, like his friends who had college age mentors. I am not able to
coach athletics, pack and deliver groceries, etc. Most of the volunteers
needed must first take "training", Sessions set at odd times like
5:30 to 7:30 for several Tuesday nights.That would be impossible for us,
my husband never drives after dark, and we are weary by dinner time.
For 17 years, I have belonged to a Commodore user group called
"Meeting 64/128 Users Throught the Mail". At the start, most correspndence
was by snailmail, and I was kept busy with it. Since Commodores are cheap
and easy to use, many of the members were elderly or disabled. I wrote to
a lot of them, but one by one they died or became unable to use their
computer. There is a certain amount of email contact.
Now I have only a couple of snailmail correspondents.
Ame
"Jean P Nance" <jp...@bluestem.prairienet.org> wrote in message
news:b167vj$s00$1...@wildfire.prairienet.org...
I couldn't resist adding my two cents.
I moved to a new, relatively large city because of my husband's new job.
Instead of workng, I decided I'd work on keeping us frugal and do some
volunteer work at the same time. I can't do very labor intensive stuff, so I
couldn't do habitat at that time, not to mention, they have no current
projects here.
I registered with the city-wide volunteer coordinator and soon got my first
phone call. They wanted someone to do some weekend work....which is the
only time I get to spend with my husband, so I had to decline.
I mentioned I'd like to work with kids. They said they'd rather not,
because I did not have any experience working with kids.
I mentioned I'd like to work with disabled people. They replied with a no,
we have paid people for that.
I asked about the local historical society or museums. Well, they really
want their volunteers to be members. ($$$)
The only current opportunities they had required you be available EVERY DAY.
What is that about?
I said that was not going to work for me, as I didn't have EVERY DAY
available.
After that, I never got another phone call. A little picky for my taste.
I explored the large local hospital to find that volunteers were performing
tasks that really should be done by CNAs or secretaries. Like clerical
support and patient transport - while their employment boards list over 50
open positions. I couldn't believe that. DH and I both worked in health care
and had never seen anything like that before.
Can't I just go to a nursing home and sit with people anymore?
Sarah Carter
news:3e36c280$0$79563$4bb1...@news.dwave.net...
> I mentioned I'd like to work with kids. They said they'd rather not,
> because I did not have any experience working with kids.
I work for a very small childrens charity in the uk, as well as volunteering
with the Brownies. You don't need any experience to help with the brownies
or guides, and we take work experience placements at work. All you need to
do is phone up and ask.
They'll ask you to get policed checked, but they'll most likely pay for that
for you if you are offering a small amount of time. I know the guide
association does for their volunteers. The educational establishment sorts
of the police checks for their work placements. We had a phone call from one
person today who has no experience and wants some so that she can further
her career. She's coming next week and we're really happy about it :o)
Sarah
--
Dennis
<Xsa...@mini.demon.co.ukX> wrote:
>I work for a very small childrens charity in the uk,
Do these tiny children wear doll clothes? Because my daughters have a
bunch that they could donate.
the Dennis formerly known as (evil)
--
"There is a fine line between participation and mockery" - Wally
catlady
> Can't I just go to a nursing home and sit with people anymore?
I work in a nursing home. Volunteers are usually very welcome, although for
the most part they participate in the scheduled recreation programs and
don't just do their own thing. You would probably have to go through the
same health screening (PPD and all that) that regular employees experience,
probably the background check too. Call the TRD (therapeutic recreation
director) and ask.
Chloe
<snip>
Sounds like a discouraging experience. I happened into a great volunteer job
through a clearinghouse, but that was probably just luck. I suggest you
target a list of places you'd like to help out, contact them directly, and
make clear what time commitment you can make and what your abilities are. I
bet it won't take too long for someone to put you to work at something
mutually satisfactory.
DH has a different approach to this stuff than I do; he prefers to help
people one on one. I'm giving that a shot myself. I'm taking a young mother
of a special needs kid to lunch this week. I don't know her, but she broke
down in tears at church a couple Sundays ago saying that things just get to
be too much sometimes. Something told me this was the time *not* to tell
myself "it's someone else's problem." She sounded eager to talk when I
called. Maybe I can just lend an ear, or help with a babysitter one
afternoon a week, or whatever, depending on what she needs the most. And
maybe we won't hit it off. If not, I'll have made the effort.
Something like this might work for you, too. If it's elderly folks you're
interested in, you might try contacting a Meals on Wheels program. Shut-ins
can be a lot lonelier than people in nursing homes.
Nina
"Chloe" <just...@spam.com> wrote I'm taking a young mother
> of a special needs kid to lunch this week. I don't know her, but she broke
> down in tears at church a couple Sundays ago saying that things just get
to
> be too much sometimes. Something told me this was the time *not* to tell
> myself "it's someone else's problem." She sounded eager to talk when I
> called. Maybe I can just lend an ear, or help with a babysitter one
> afternoon a week, or whatever, depending on what she needs the most. And
> maybe we won't hit it off. If not, I'll have made the effort.
>
One thing mothers of special needs kids really like? Someone who they can
tell '" I really hate life with that little fucker sometimes" without
feeling like a monster AND someone who can hear that without consequently
hating the child on the mother's behalf. My particular little monster is 9
and autistic and can be a handful, its hard to go ANYWHERE because u cant
just relax. Its hard to have visitors for the same reason, so having someone
there who can just take it in stride and not make a big deal of whatever
special needs the child has is cool.
My son is pretty mild, but i babysat an 8 year old classmate of his this
summer, and it was hard on the parents because he was the type toscreech and
flap whenever he went somewhere, he also needed to be diapered and walked on
tiptoes, which meant outings with him where always a bit of a production.
Who the hell wants to be bothered with that or wants to visit when you have
all that going on?
If her kid is really bad,she might appreciate someone to just keep an eye on
the kid while she naps or does her hair or something really simple that most
of us take for granted. Fortunately I live where respite care is available,
though at $15/hour not really an option without the sliding fee scale, in
other areas life can be a HELL.
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Quasinerd
> who gets little or no mail.
Excellent idea.
> I really love to write letters.I also
> have a large stash of pretty cards that people keep giving me.
Lots of lonely people to write to - military overseas,
nursing home residents...
> the column on "Volunteer Opportunities" which
> appears in our paper every week,..
In my local paper they usually want people to work long
hours, as much as 35 per week. Wow!
Suggestion - think of an agency you enjoy. A retired
aunt was a long time member of a birding society. When
she moved to a new city she went to the nearest
facility and asked if there were ways she could help.
They put her to work in the office on her schedule;
even though she knew nothing about computers there were
things she could do to help.
A friend spends an hour or so a week reading books onto
tape for the blind.
Another helps sort food at a small food bank.
A disabled friend helps at a hospital by sitting and
holding abandoned babies (because babies can die from
lack of love).
Think of what work you would enjoy doing or what group
you would like to help. Then start asking everyone you
know for help finding the right place to help out.
You'll find it.
Quasi
Nina
<Old_Timer> wrote in message
news:9bse3vcrrbgfquja0...@4ax.com...
> with such a problem child her situation certainly does stir a great
> deal of compassion in my soul.
>
> Old_Timer
Me too. Mine could be so much worse that I cant even complain, its my
teenagers who give me the most hell!
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Chloe
news:yYFZ9.13664$ni5.2...@news1.news.adelphia.net...
Nina, thank you so much for your comments.
I understand her child has a condition similar to autism. Speaking as
someone who thought kids were too much of a challenge to have any, you and
she both have my heartfelt admiration for facing the challenges you do every
day. In a way I figured my childlessness might be a plus in terms of her
being able to talk to me. And because of our age difference we don't really
know many of the same people within the church, so I hope she'll feel
comfortable if just opening up about her feelings is what she needs.
Nina
"Chloe" <just...@spam.com> wrote > Nina, thank you so much for your
comments.
>
> I understand her child has a condition similar to autism. Speaking as
> someone who thought kids were too much of a challenge to have any, you and
> she both have my heartfelt admiration for facing the challenges you do
every
> day.
People *want* to have kids? :) I once said "why me? Im smart, funny, pretty,
charming, generous,caring etc. What did I do to deserve thiss???" But I
think of it as a privilege, God considered me able to handle "special" duty.
Some mothers are "just" Moms but I am in the Special Forces of motherhood,
one of the elite. Without being arrogant,I think the kid is pretty lucky he
got me because even at the age of 25 when it seems most American women are
still in their extended adolescence, I was able to successfully manage his
diagnosis PLUS deal with an irresponsible husband and a new baby.
Plus, having him has ensured that despite my good looks, great personality
and intelligence, that I NEVER get too fullof myself. I was a "gifted"
child and was always taught to consider my intelligence a gift rather than
signs of my superiority over others, and I was given a disabled child to
ensure that I remembered that lesson.You cant be haughty and look down on
the less intellient when your own first born has a developmental delay. You
cant look down on the poor because you could be the poor if the situation
keeps you from working. And beauty and charm are nothing when u are
tired,haggard and exhausted from the stress of daily life. I appreciate all
that I have so much more than I otherwise would have. I am a nicer, gentler,
more understanding human being than I would have otherwise been.
In a way I figured my childlessness might be a plus in terms of her
> being able to talk to me. And because of our age difference we don't
really
> know many of the same people within the church, so I hope she'll feel
> comfortable if just opening up about her feelings is what she needs.
>
It might take a while, if she is really overwhelmed she might just be so *
blotto* that she hasnt the energy or will to be herself. Sometimes it takes
a lot of venting before u ever get to know the real woman behind the mother,
if u understand what I mean. Good luck!
Nina
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Bonita and/or William F. Kale
> DH has a different approach to this stuff than I do; he prefers to help
> people one on one. I'm giving that a shot myself. I'm taking a young mother
> of a special needs kid to lunch this week. I don't know her, but she broke
> down in tears at church a couple Sundays ago saying that things just get to
> be too much sometimes. Something told me this was the time *not* to tell
> myself "it's someone else's problem." She sounded eager to talk when I
> called. Maybe I can just lend an ear, or help with a babysitter one
> afternoon a week, or whatever, depending on what she needs the most. And
> maybe we won't hit it off. If not, I'll have made the effort.
I admire your courage and compassion.
I've never forgotten a time, years ago, when a library patron (I work in a
library) was trying to juggle a child and something else -- a form to fill out?
something like that. "Will she come to me?" I asked, about the child, a nice
little girl with Down syndrome, maybe two years old. The mother was very
willing to let me hold her, but, she said, "Most people don't want to."
(For those who perhaps haven't been involved with babies much, "Can I hold the
baby for you?" is phrased as an offer of help, but it's also a request for a
favor. Holding the baby is a privilege, and I can't imagine how sad it must be
to have a baby that other people don't -want- to hold.)
Bonita
Chloe
message news:3E3BB747...@mail.n2net.net...
> "Ame" wrote:
>
> > DH has a different approach to this stuff than I do; he prefers to help
> > people one on one. I'm giving that a shot myself. I'm taking a young
mother
> > of a special needs kid to lunch this week. I don't know her, but she
broke
> > down in tears at church a couple Sundays ago saying that things just get
to
> > be too much sometimes. Something told me this was the time *not* to tell
> > myself "it's someone else's problem." She sounded eager to talk when I
> > called. Maybe I can just lend an ear, or help with a babysitter one
> > afternoon a week, or whatever, depending on what she needs the most. And
> > maybe we won't hit it off. If not, I'll have made the effort.
>
> I admire your courage and compassion.
The part that took courage was hoping I could figure out a way to offer
support without implying pity. As it turns out, once she and I sat down and
talked over lunch she didn't appear to need all that much except maybe a
friend who is "all hers," i.e., somebody not a part of the rest of her life
with whom she could speak frankly. She has a husband whom she spoke well of,
doesn't have to work outside the home, and is happy with the school system
her son is in now. They've moved many times, and
she's away from family though.
Ironically, once we got to talking it turned out she had personal experience
on a subject *I've* been wanting insight and advice on. The conversation
well may have helped me more than it helped her. Funny how those things
happen.