ot: political humor
AllEmailDeletedImmediately
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. in Spanish
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson & Al
Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm "How I Invented the Internet" - Al Gore
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9:00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant
fund - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers -
Howard Dean & Rosie O'Donnell
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather
by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hilary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:43 am Speech & Toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of "the
Great Satan", G.W. Bush
12:50 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic
Mexican voters
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the
Republican Party
1:05 am Coronation of Hilary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am Ted Kennedy Proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hilary home
free
is currently happening with a different cast.
Neither side responds o or represents Americans unless you come bearing
large gifts or promises. Only Globalists appear to have the largess
necessary.
AllEmailDeletedImmediately
"free" <@free.nat> wrote in message news:FwoCi.120$kr7...@newsfe04.lga...
correct. i'm a registered nonpartisan. so, you're saying that teddy
kennedy wouldn't be proposing all those toasts? :)
Bob F
plonk!
ChairMan
Bob F <bobn...@gmail.com>spewed forth:
> plonk!
what, no sense of humor?
must be a democrat<g>
AllEmailDeletedImmediately
"ChairMan" <wh...@fu.com> wrote in message
news:46db3834$0$32372$9a6e...@unlimited.newshosting.com...
must be. guess you'll be next. be sure to reply to
this so he has to read me again :)
Don Klipstein
wrote in part:
> 8:00 pm "How I Invented the Internet" - Al Gore
That keeps coming up? That is a Republican exaggeration!
The Republican exaggeration is based on a CNN interview in which Al Gore
did claim "I took the initiative in creating the Internet".
http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.asp
That is less of an exaggeration than the Republican one, since back
around 1990 to early 1990's he actually was the leading force in the
Senate for federal involvement/funding in expanding the arpanet into the
internet. Remember the stuff being said back around 1992 about the
"Information Superhighway" that Clinton and Gore were pushing for?
- Don Klipstein (d...@misty.com)
Roughrider50
Klipstein) wrote:
>In article <%noCi.2767$pm2.2680@trndny08>, AllEmailDeletedImmediately
>wrote in part:
>
>> 8:00 pm "How I Invented the Internet" - Al Gore
>
> That keeps coming up? That is a Republican exaggeration!
>
> The Republican exaggeration is based on a CNN interview in which Al Gore
>did claim "I took the initiative in creating the Internet".
Yep......that's about as worn out as Dan Quayles "Potato" incident.
The dems beat that to a pulp over & over.
.
>
>
"There can be no fifty-fifty Americanism in this country. There is room here for only 100 per cent Americanism, only for those who are Americans and nothing else."-- Theodore Roosevelt
Ward Abbott
<cork...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> The Republican exaggeration is based on a CNN interview in which Al Gore
>>did claim "I took the initiative in creating the Internet".
>
>Yep......that's about as worn out as Dan Quayles "Potato" incident.
>The dems beat that to a pulp over & over.
A young lady returned to her home from a prestigious, Eastern
college over the Thanksgiving- break during her first semester away
from home.
After Thanksgiving dinner her father asked his daughter how she
liked the school, and she replied, "Well, I like it O.K., and, by the
way, I have decided to become a Hillary Democrat. You see, Ms.
Clinton spoke to us on campus this semester, and showed me how unfair
the wage and health-care systems are is in the U.S. and how we must
raise taxes to help those in need."
The father was at first silent, then he asked her, "Well, how do
you like your studies?"
She answered that she worked four to five hours a day, had no
time for socializing and little time for anything else, but managed to
make a 4.00 her first semester.
Then, her father asked her how she liked her roommate. The
daughter replied, "She's terrible! She goofs off all the time, skips
class, parties until the wee hours, and barely made a C average. I
wish I could get rid of her."
Again the father was silent, and then said, "Well, why don't you
ask the Dean to take 1.00 of your grade-point average and give it to
your roommate, then you'd both have B averages?"
The daughter looked horrified, and said, "No, way! I worked hard
for my grades, and my roommate put-out forth no effort at all to study
or to make good grades. Why on earth should I give her part of my
hard-earned grades?"
The father looked at her, nodded his head, and said, "Welcome
back to the Republican Party."
Steve
>Denver, Colorado Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention
"AllEmailDeletedImmediately" is appropriate for this post.
--
Acquaintance: A person we know well enough to borrow from,
but not well enough to lend to.
...Ambrose Bierce
ChairMan
AllEmailDeletedImmediately <der...@hotmail.com>spewed forth:
maybe this will help<eg>
World History
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to
the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together
were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,
so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for the m to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were
formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
the Conservation movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal
movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic
voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives
provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well
done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, attorneys,
journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make
the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, sailors, airmen,
soldiers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who
own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are
more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained
in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after
the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for
nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
respond to the above before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth
of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true
believers and to more liberals just to tick them off