Rod Speed is off his meds-time to repost his work history and glossary
William Souden
Looks as if it is time to repost the pitiful work history of Rod
Speed.
He has had a total of one job as an adult.
A fast food place made the mistake of hiring him. He was moved from
the register because he could not handle public contact (customers
rarely enjoy being called fuckwits) and was moved to the fry grill.
He dropped a burger. The manager said "no problem, we all make
mistakes". Rod went into a tantrum and blamed the manager because, as we
know, he is never wrong.
He was then given the job of cleaning the rest rooms. He was fired
when , rather than scrub a toilet, he kept flushing it while yelling
"reams of puerile shit flushed down the toilet".
This all happened before lunch on the first day.
Rod has never had a another job. Keep in mind when one starts a new
job these things happen:
Your boss tells you what to do- Rod can never bear that.
You have questions-Rod never admits to not knowing everything.
You make a mistake-Rod can never admit to one.
Ever since then Rod has been on the dole. The check comes twice a
month and near the end of the cycle his posts make it obvious that the
meds have run out.
Each new case worker at the welfare office is assigned to Rod. They
keep hoping that a new person is hired to take over his case.
The Rod Speed glossary:
Fuckwit-Anyone who questions Rod.
Terminal fuckwit- anyone who posts a cite disproving what Rod thinks.
Monkey-someone with a job.
Ape-someone with a good paying job.
Sales fool- someone with a good paying job that requires public
contact and communications skills. Rod hates sales people because he was
turned down for a job selling magazine subscription on the phone and
thinks all sales job are low paying positions reading scripts in a
boiler room.
Race track bum- Someone with disposable income (something Rod never
has) who enjoys the mental exercise of handicapping horses ,the
congeniality of having fun with friends (more alien concepts to Rod) and
perhaps winning some money.