Boys Will Be Boys

David and Debbie Valgos

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Jul 6, 1998, 3:00:00 AM7/6/98

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The Unofficial Martha Stewart Militia Guide

With autumn nipping at our heels, it seems everyone I know has two
things on their minds -- fun, useful weekend projects, and our
drug-addled, corruption ridden society's imminent collapse.

Fortunately, there's no shortage of economical ideas that speak to both
concerns. Here are a few of them. I hope you enjoy them and remember --
bbu with autumn nipping at our heels, it seems everyone I know has two
things on their minds -- fun, useful weekend projects, and our
drug-addled, corruption ridden society's imminent collapse.

Fortunately, there's no shortage of economical ideas that speak to both
concerns. Here are a few of them. I hope you enjoy them and remember --
be sure and destroy this document as soon as you read it, lest the
socialist drones down at ATF suddenly decide to once again
cynically disregard your constitutional and God-given rights and
confiscate this material as "evidence" in one of their ruthless
witchhunts they pass off as "justice."

Brightly tinted autumnal flower arrangements add a jolt of color to any
home -- and can also cunningly camouflage a Colt 1911
Government issue Auto Pistol. A shaggy tuft of water-hued hydrangeas,
clipped at the right time, can last for years -- certainly
longer than the crumbling infrastructure of our bleeding heart courts
can stem the tide of psychopathic sludge from engulfing all
but the most heavily armed of us. Ideally, you'll need a double wire
frame, as well as a length of 22 gauge wire to give the
flowers added body and to conceal spare ammo cartridges.

You must make sure to clip the flowers before they reach peak color.
Otherwise, the flora will actually brown -- robbing your
bouquet of those glorious fall hues and making the jet black gleam of
your Colt all too obvious to even the most glazed-over,
crack-crazed intruder.

Lay the bouquets against the frame loosely in order to give the colors a
chance to overlap and to allow easy access to your
piece. Wrap around the frame and stems several times with the 22 gauge
wire and place another bouquet against the stems to
suit your personal taste. Indeed, if you place enough hydrangeas over
the wire mesh of your frame, you should be easily able to
conceal an entire Colt with a basketweave steel-reinforced belt loop
with adjustable screws and built in jacket slot to fit a 2 1/4
inch Sam Browne belt! Flowers do say so much.

We all know how hard it is to find that perfect little hideaway far
removed from the hustle and bustle of the rat race and those
draconian thugs at the FBI. Even when we can find one, we all know the
trade off -- for every measure of safety a concrete
reinforced steel braided survival fortress affords us from the subhuman
vermin that infest our every street corner, it loses a piece
of down home, folksy charm.

Well, how about a 40's look? That vintage blond birch look most typified
by classic Heywood- Wakefield pieces will add a
sparse beauty to your shelter. In addition, the furniture's clean,
simple lines provide the perfect backdrop for teaching your little
ones about happier times, when long-haired beatniks like Ralph Nader
were far removed from our national landscape and the
only time you'd be approached late at night in a darkened hall by an
immigrant would be when the night porter wanted to know
if you'd like a scotch to take back to your Pullman sleeper.

Finally today, I'd like to talk about air freshness. There's no denying
bunkers need them, but store bought ones often smell so
antiseptic ( not to mention that they're often rigged with tiny
listening devices and loaded by the Trilateral Commission with
mind-controlling drugs). Well, the simple, traditional ways are often
the best ( as with everything else in life but weaponry). It
depends on the degree of freshness you'll need. If it is simply to keep
the stench of urban decay and bizarre foreign foods away,
a potpourri filled with baking soda and cinnamon sticks will often do
the trick. Keep them near areas of ventilation, doorways
or any other place the flood of detritus first unleashed by FDR and the
New Deal might seep its way into your home.

For larger needs, such as ridding the room of the lingering scent of
gunpowder and assorted nitrates, I've found that dried fruit
peels, such as lemons, oranges and the like do wonders. Even the acrid
odor of swarthy federal marshals or the pungent aroma
of sun-bleached, decaying human flesh that so often spoils otherwise
inspiring victory rallies are no match for these little sachets
of Mother Natures'. It's a Good Thing!
e sure and destroy this document as soon as you read it, lest the
socialist drones down at ATF suddenly decide to once again
cynically disregard your constitutional and God-given rights and
confiscate this material as "evidence" in one of their ruthless
witchhunts they pass off as "justice."

Brightly tinted autumnal flower arrangements add a jolt of color to any
home -- and can also cunningly camouflage a Colt 1911
Government issue Auto Pistol. A shaggy tuft of water-hued hydrangeas,
clipped at the right time, can last for years -- certainly
longer than the crumbling infrastructure of our bleeding heart courts
can stem the tide of psychopathic sludge from engulfing all
but the most heavily armed of us. Ideally, you'll need a double wire
frame, as well as a length of 22 gauge wire to give the
flowers added body and to conceal spare ammo cartridges.

You must make sure to clip the flowers before they reach peak color.
Otherwise, the flora will actually brown -- robbing your
bouquet of those glorious fall hues and making the jet black gleam of
your Colt all too obvious to even the most glazed-over,
crack-crazed intruder.

Lay the bouquets against the frame loosely in order to give the colors a
chance to overlap and to allow easy access to your
piece. Wrap around the frame and stems several times with the 22 gauge
wire and place another bouquet against the stems to
suit your personal taste. Indeed, if you place enough hydrangeas over
the wire mesh of your frame, you should be easily able to
conceal an entire Colt with a basketweave steel-reinforced belt loop
with adjustable screws and built in jacket slot to fit a 2 1/4
inch Sam Browne belt! Flowers do say so much.

We all know how hard it is to find that perfect little hideaway far
removed from the hustle and bustle of the rat race and those
draconian thugs at the FBI. Even when we can find one, we all know the
trade off -- for every measure of safety a concrete
reinforced steel braided survival fortress affords us from the subhuman
vermin that infest our every street corner, it loses a piece
of down home, folksy charm.

Well, how about a 40's look? That vintage blond birch look most typified
by classic Heywood- Wakefield pieces will add a
sparse beauty to your shelter. In addition, the furniture's clean,
simple lines provide the perfect backdrop for teaching your little
ones about happier times, when long-haired beatniks like Ralph Nader
were far removed from our national landscape and the
only time you'd be approached late at night in a darkened hall by an
immigrant would be when the night porter wanted to know
if you'd like a scotch to take back to your Pullman sleeper.

Finally today, I'd like to talk about air freshness. There's no denying
bunkers need them, but store bought ones often smell so
antiseptic ( not to mention that they're often rigged with tiny
listening devices and loaded by the Trilateral Commission with
mind-controlling drugs). Well, the simple, traditional ways are often
the best ( as with everything else in life but weaponry). It
depends on the degree of freshness you'll need. If it is simply to keep
the stench of urban decay and bizarre foreign foods away,
a potpourri filled with baking soda and cinnamon sticks will often do
the trick. Keep them near areas of ventilation, doorways
or any other place the flood of detritus first unleashed by FDR and the
New Deal might seep its way into your home.

For larger needs, such as ridding the room of the lingering scent of
gunpowder and assorted nitrates, I've found that dried fruit
peels, such as lemons, oranges and the like do wonders. Even the acrid
odor of swarthy federal marshals or the pungent aroma
of sun-bleached, decaying human flesh that so often spoils otherwise
inspiring victory rallies are no match for these little sachets
of Mother Natures'. It's a Good Thing!

http://www.angstmag.com/back/aug96/martha.html

--------------------

Keep America safe from her enemies!
Incapacitate a vigilante\militiaman today!

George Washington (1732-1799):

To place any dependence upon militia, is, assuredly, resting upon a broken staff.
--Letter to the president of Congress, Heights of Harlem [September 24, 1776]

Christianity neither is, nor ever was, a part of the common law.
--Thomas Jefferson

______________________________________________________
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International Artist Guild

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Jul 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM7/7/98

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Hehehehe! Gotta give you due credit for bringing this to us. :-)

}
}
} Keep America safe from her enemies!

} Incapacitate us today!

Kimo2

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Jul 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM7/7/98

to

David and Debbie Valgos wrote:

Don't you find that militias take themselves just a little too serious. They seem
to have forgotten how to live and know nothing but hate, egotism and intolerance.

kyleh

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Jul 12, 1998, 3:00:00 AM7/12/98

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David and Debbie Valgos wrote:
}

Wow, you two have hate written all over you. Incredible!