SALE! By 2 Freshwater Fish & Get One FREE @ John's Pet Shop & Grooming
Papa Red
Pet Shop and Grooming has now gotten much larger,...expading their
business into the unit next door,...Come and see all of the new changes
and sales, where besides some very colourful and inexpensive Betta
splendens/Siamese Fighting fish, there are all kinds of other freshwater
fish, frogs, turtles, birds, snakes, ferrets, rabbits, mice, rats, and
feeder critters, and sometimes even aquatic plants. Also they sell high
quality fish, mammal & bird foods, equipment, cages, carriers, and other
accessories, including certain kinds of over the counter pet
medications. And also there is free parking in the rear of the building.
1618 Alton Road Miami Beach, FL 33139
Phone: [305] 531-6910
Fax: [305] 538-4169
Grooming Service by Pancho:
[305] 531-6915 & [305] 244-0437
Papa Red
Papa Red
Wisdom from Papa Red.
============<o0O0o>=============
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, all depends a
lot on the kind of chick he marries.
----------------------------------------------------
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his
salt that he forgets his sugar.
---------------------------------------------------
Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.
---------------------------------------------------
When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.
----------------------------------------------------
If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred,
she will never turn into an old nag.
----------------------------------------------------
On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never
the present.
----------------------------------------------------
A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin',
ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna "work"."
---------------------------------------------------
Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make
beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.
----------------------------------------------------
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it.
----------------------------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people
to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
----------------------------------------------------
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
---------------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.
---------------------------------------------------
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald,
they don't recognize you.
----------------------------------------------------
Have a GREAT day,...and keep laughing, for it's good for the soul.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Papa Red
 |
|
Thanks Lady SaSSy!<{I'm just a bagpipe player in an acid rock band}>~My own Papa Red's NG-stop by and say, "Hi"~I'm just a Bagpipe player in an Acid-Rock band~
"PACIFIC CORAL REEF" pane of 10
Florida-Related Links
My Betta splendens, and different types of Corydoras species
Xenopus laevis, African Clawed Frog
A Wee Bit of Jocularity by Papa Red
Papa Red
Old woman in the shoe
had nothing on this lady.
http://fearnfun.com/images/bimage/429-narrow_home_01.jpg
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http://fearnfun.com/images/bimage/429-narrow_home_02.jpg
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http://fearnfun.com/images/bimage/429-narrow_home_03.jpg
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http://fearnfun.com/images/bimage/429-narrow_home_04.jpg
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http://fearnfun.com/images/bimage/429-narrow_home_05.jpg
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http://fearnfun.com/images/bimage/429-narrow_home_07.jpg
Papa Red
There are 52 cards in a standard deck and there are 52 weeks in a year.
There are 4 suits in a deck of cards and 4 seasons in a year. If you add
the values of all the cards in a deck (jack=11 queen=12, etc.) you get a
total of 365 the same as the number of days in a year.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Papa Red
Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. !
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a woman?
A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
married?
A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. While visiting China , your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo!
Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
what was he trying to do?
A George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
krp
"Papa Red" <Pap...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:3701-44D...@storefull-3258.bay.webtv.net...
> ORIGINAL HOLLYWOOD SQUARES
> Do female frogs croak?
No only frogs and very OLD people.
Papa Red
..With the actor, Robert Mitchum singing the song. The site features
all of the words to the movie's theme song. How many of you folks
remember this 1958 movie about moonshiners and fast cars?~Dean.
http://pumpplanter.250free.com/ALLMISCFILES/AMISC3/CSSFILE2/Thunder.html
Papa Red
If your a dial up or cable this will test your own connection speed.
Check it out. I did and found some alternative ISP in my area for the
same price and faster speed. Interesting website here. Carol
The message is ready to be sent with the following file or link
attachments:
Shortcut to: http://reviews.cnet.com/7004-7254_7-0.html
Papa Red
Papa Red
procedure to utilize, to save that little child's life? This site can
show you how to do that and the other types as well.~Papa Red.
http://depts.washington.edu/learncpr/
Papa Red
http://hamakko.info/paint/painting-e.html
Papa Red
The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Wal-Mart
store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER take
her husband shopping with her again! ! !
January 12, 2006 Re: Mr. Bill Fenton Multiple Complaints Dear Mrs.
Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior
and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of
our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance
equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble
your husband has caused.
All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed
below.
15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
ladies restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in Housewares..... and then watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the nearby
bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store, loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"~Dean.
Papa Red
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life. is this true?
A. Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will
not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life
of
your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
_____
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits
and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of
your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
_____
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit
so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
_____
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one,
etc.
_____
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise
program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
_____
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried
these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?
_____
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the
middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
_____
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!
_____
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
whales to me.
_____
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Papa Red
elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
"Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
Papa Red
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
Papa Red
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Papa Red
remember him and his superb artwork?~Papa Red.
http://frazettaartgallery.com/ff/index.html
Papa Red
Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest
was
fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turned a corner and saw a building with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's
Laundry."
"Moishe Plotnik ?" he wondered. "How does that fit in Chinatown ?"
So he walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking Chinese
laundry. He could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the
uniqueness of the name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee
mugs
emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."
There were also selections of Chinese souvenirs indicating that the name
alone had brought many other tourists into that shop.
The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back
to his office.
Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him
for his purchase.
The tourist asked, "Can you explain how this place got a name like
"Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?"
The old man answered: "Ahh . . Evleebody ask me that. It name of
owner."
Looking around, the tourist asked, "Is he here?"
"It me," replies the old man.
"Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a name like Moishe
Plotnik?"
"Is simple", said the old man. "Many, many year ago I come to this
country. I standing in line at Documentation Center of Immigration. The
man in front of me was Jewish gentleman from Poland. The lady at counter
look at him and say, 'What your name?' He say, 'Moishe Plotnik.' Then
she look at me and say, 'What your
Papa Red
1.] "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill
2.] "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston
Churchill
3.] "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
4.] "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
5.] "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
6.] "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
-- Moses Hadas
7.] "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know."
-- Abraham Lincoln
8.] "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --
Groucho Marx
9.] "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
-- Mark Twain
10.] "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --
Oscar Wilde
11.] "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play,
bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
12.] "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if
there is
one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response
13.] "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you
here." -- Stephen Bishop
14.] "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
15.] "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
16.] "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in
others." -- Samuel Johnson
17.] "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul
Keating
18.] "He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr
19.] "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." --
Jack E. Leonard
20.] "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford
21.] "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed
22.] "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
23.] "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand
24.] "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker
25.] "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
on it?"
-- Mark Twain
26.] "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the the stork." --
Mae West
27.] "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde
28.] "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for
support
rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
29.] "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-- Billy Wilde ~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Jason Staines
September 4, 2006 - 3:31PM
Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, has died after being struck by a stingray
barb in Queensland.
Mr Irwin, 44 died after the stingray barb went through his chest
while he was shooting a documentary off Port Douglas.
The Queensland Police Service has confirmed Mr Irwin's death. In a
statement, it said Mr Irwin collapsed after being stung by a sting ray
at Batt Reef, off Port Douglas, about 11am.
After being struck, Mr Irwin's crew called for medical treatment and the
Emergency Management Queensland Helicopter responded, but he was dead
before the treatment arrived.
The statement said Mr Irwin's family has been advised.
His American-born wife Terri is reported to be trekking on Cradle
Mountain in Tasmania.
A spokesman for the Queensland Ambulance Service said officers attended
the scene on Low Isles via helicopter at 12.04pm today and arrived back
in Cairns at 12.53pm.
"The area it was delivered to was the problem. A sting ray hit to the
chest is a big problem," he said.
Mr Irwin - known worldwide as the Crocodile Hunter - is famous for his
enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchcry "Crikey!".
The father of two's Crocodile Hunter program was first broadcast in 1992
and has been shown around the world on cable network Discovery.
He also starred in movies and has developed the Australia Zoo wildlife
park, north of Brisbane, which was started by his parents Bob and Lyn
Irwin.
Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, who used a photograph of his family
at Australia Zoo for his official Christmas card last year, hailed Mr
Irwin for his work in promoting Australia.
Mr Irwin was heavily involved in last year's "G'Day LA" campaign.
"The minister knew him, was fond of him and was very, very appreciative
of all the work he'd done to promote Australia overseas," a spokesman
said.
A spokeswoman for Irwin's Australia Zoo said she was aware of reports
of his death and the zoo would not be making any statements at this
stage.
According to the zoo's website, Irwin was born in Victoria in 1962, but
moved with his family to Queensland in 1970 when his father, Bob,
started a reptile park on the Sunshine Coast.
Irwin married American Terri Raines in 1992 after she visited the zoo
on holiday.
theage.com.au, with AAP
Here is another report on this:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2006-09-04-obit-irwin_x.htm?POE=NEWISVA
Papa Red
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through every day, so
he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please
allow her body to switch with mine for just one day. Thank you Lord,
Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning,
sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for
his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them
breakfast, packed their lunches, drove Them to school, came home and
picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the
bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put
away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He
cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the Dog. Then he hurried to make
the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen
floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument
with them On the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids
organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and
watched a little TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad,
Breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After
supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't
finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he
managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and
immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was
thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all
day. Please, oh please, let us trade back." The Lord, in his infinite
wisdom, replied:
You have to wait 9 months. Last night you became pregnant
Papa Red
on Salon: "Having been called names, one looks back at one's own angry
outbursts over the years, and I recall having once referred to
Republicans as 'hairy-backed swamp developers, fundamentalist bullies,
freelance racists, hobby cops, sweatshop tycoons, line jumpers,
marsupial moms and aluminum-siding salesmen, misanthropic frat boys,
ninja dittoheads, shrieking midgets, tax cheats, cheese merchants, cat
stranglers, pill pushers, nihilists in golf pants, backed-up Baptists,
the grand pooh-bahs of Percodan, mouth breathers, testosterone junkies
and brownshirts in pinstripes.'
"I look at those words now, and 'cat stranglers' seems excessive to me.
The number of cat stranglers in the ranks of the Republican Party is
surely low, and that reference was hurtful to Republicans and to cat
owners. I feel sheepish about it."
Papa Red
was so pleased
with the donkey that he entered it in the
race again, and it won again.
Then the local newspaper ran a banner headline that read:
"PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT"
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper's banner
headline read: "BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS".
This was too much for the bishop, so he
immediatly ordered the pastor to get
rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to
give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline
the next day: "NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN".
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun
that she would have to get rid the donkey,
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLSASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the nun to buy back the donkey
and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN PROCLAIMS HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is,
being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery...andeven shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass
and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! Enjoy the
rest of your day! ~ Papa Red.
Alan R. Fisher
about the local SOBE spots, I live on South Beach and know some of the
places you post. Have a great Day.
Alan
"Papa Red" <Pap...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:15909-45...@storefull-3255.bay.webtv.net...
Papa Red
late.~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Red.
http://www.madmanjokes.com/images/19990613.gif
Papa Red
thought that I'd post it here. Do you have any area related links? If
so, please post and share them, and help make this truly a Miami area
newsgroup.~Papa Red.
http://www.broward.org/
Papa Red
One-question IQ Test...
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action
of brushing one's teeth,he successfully expresses himself to the
shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who
wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think
about it first before scrolling down for the answer...
He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."
If you got this wrong......you must be one of the very few who voted for
George W. Bush.<LOL>
Papa Red
Papa Red
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
Bushcronium.
Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called peons.
Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take
more than 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a
second. Bushcronium has a normal half-life of multiples of 4 years;
it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity
is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an
element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as
incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many
morons.
Papa Red
Papa Red
These bumper stickers were compiled (not written) by Jerry Paul, a
former Methodist minister in Lakeside Ohio.
==============================
Blind faith in bad leadership is not patriotism
----------------------------------------------
If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention
----------------------------------------------
If you supported Bush, a yellow ribbon won't make up for it
----------------------------------------------
Poverty, healthcare & homelessness are moral issues
-----------------------------------------------
Of course it hurts, you're getting screwed by an elephant
------------------------------------------------
Bush lied, and you know it
------------------------------------------------
Religious fundamentalism: a threat abroad, a threat at home
-------------------------------------------------
Bush spent your Social Security on his war
-------------------------------------------------
Pro America, anti Bush
-------------------------------------------------
If you support Bush's war, why are you still here? Shut up and ship out.
-------------------------------------------------
I'd rather have a President who screwed his intern than one who screwed
his country
--------------------------------------------------
Jesus was a social activist -- that is a liberal
-------------------------------------------------
Is it 2008 yet?
-------------------------------------------------
Dissent is the highest form of patriotism -Thomas Jefferson
------------------------------------------------
Don't blame me, I voted against Bush....twice!!
-------------------------------------------------
Annoy a conservative, think for yourself!
-------------------------------------------------
Hey Bush! Where's bin Laden?
-------------------------------------------------
Corporate media = mass mind control
-------------------------------------------------
Stop mad cowboy disease
-------------------------------------------------
George W Bush: Making terrorists faster than he can kill them
------------------------------------------------
Keep your theocracy off my democracy
------------------------------------------------
Democrats are sexy, whoever heard of a good piece of elephant?
-------------------------------------------------
Aspiring Canadian
-------------------------------------------------
Corporate media: weapons of mass deception
-------------------------------------------------
Don't confuse dying for oil with fighting for freedom
-------------------------------------------------
Stem cell research IS pro life
-------------------------------------------------
Hate, greed, ignorance: weapons of mass destruction
-------------------------------------------------
Honor our troops: demand the truth
-------------------------------------------------
Rebuild Iraq? Why not spend 87 billion on America?
-------------------------------------------------
Fact: price of oil 1999 = $19 per barrel price of oil 2006 = $70 per
barrel
-------------------------------------------------
The last time religion controlled politics, people got burned at the
stake
--------------------------------------------------
I'll give up my choice when John Roberts gets pregnant
--------------------------------------------------
How on earth can 59,4111,287 people be so dumb?
--------------------------------------------------
Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes
======Pax Vobiscum,...~Papa Red.===
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/082406J.shtml "It all started back
about ten years ago when I was reading reports of our genetic closeness
to the chimpanzees and learning that we share 98-99% of the same genetic
material. Jared Diamond and others say we are so close to the chimps
that taxonomically we should be put in the same genus." writes Kelpie
Wilson. "Humans are actually the third chimpanzee."
Papa Red
Pet Shop and Grooming has, besides some very colourful and inexpensive
Betta splendens/Siamese Fighting fish, all kinds of freshwater fish,
frogs, turtles, some aquatic plants, birds, snakes, ferrets, rabbits,
mice, rats, and feeder critters. Also they sell high quality fish,
mammal & bird foods, equipment, cages, carriers, and other accessories,
including certain kinds of over the counter pet medications. 1618 Alton
Road Miami Beach, FL 33139
Phone: [305] 531-6910
Fax: [305] 538-4169
Grooming Service: [305] 531 6915
Papa Red
Products at Afforable Prices,... Everything from beauty, school, and
household supplies, gifts, toys, games, electronics, T-shirts,
underwear, live house plants, sunglasses, artificial flowers and
flowering vines, clocks, and many types of kitchen things. {Open
everyday from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m.} 550 6th street, on Meridian Avenue,...
Miami Beach, Florida, 33139
Tel. 305-604-0049....Fax 305-673-0986.
Papa Red
On 18 Sep 2006 11:10:48 -0700,"420MED.COM", wrote Top 10 Pot Studies
Government Wished it Had Never Funded September 2nd, 2006
=================================
HEAVY MARIJUANA USE AS A YOUNG ADULT WONT RUIN YOUR LIFE: Veterans
Affairs scientists looked at whether heavy marijuana use as a young
adult caused long-term problems later, studying identical twins in which
one twin had been a heavy marijuana user for a year or longer but had
stopped at least one month before the study, while the second twin had
used marijuana no more than five times ever. Marijuana use had no
significant impact on physical or mental health care utilization,
health-related quality of life, or current socio-demographic
characteristics. Eisen SE et al. Does Marijuana Use Have Residual
Adverse Effects on Self-Reported Health Measures, Socio-Demographics or
Quality of Life? A Monozygotic Co-Twin Control Study in Men. Addiction.
Vol. 97 No. 9. p.1083-1086. Sept. 1997
FreeThePlant
(hooked up by ElDad)
-------------------------------------------------
10) MARIJUANA USE HAS NO EFFECT ON MORTALITY: A massive study of
California HMO members funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse
(NIDA) found marijuana use caused no significant increase in mortality.
Tobacco use was associated with increased risk of death. Sidney, S et
al. Marijuana Use and Mortality. American Journal of Public Health. Vol.
87 No. 4, April 1997. p. 585-590. Sept. 2002.
----------------------------------------------------
9) HEAVY MARIJUANA USE AS A YOUNG ADULT WONT RUIN YOUR LIFE: Veterans
Affairs scientists looked at whether heavy marijuana use as a young
adult caused long-term problems later, studying identical twins in which
one twin had been a heavy marijuana user for a year or longer but had
stopped at least one month before the study, while the second twin had
used marijuana no more than five times ever. Marijuana use had no
significant impact on physical or mental health care utilization,
health-related quality of life, or current socio-demographic
characteristics. Eisen SE et al. Does Marijuana Use Have Residual
Adverse Effects on Self-Reported Health Measures, Socio-Demographics or
Quality of Life? A Monozygotic Co-Twin Control Study in Men. Addiction.
Vol. 97 No. 9. p.1083-1086. Sept. 1997
---------------------------------------------------
8) THE GATEWAY EFFECT MAY BE A MIRAGE: Marijuana is often called a
gateway drug by supporters of prohibition, who point to statistical
associations indicating that persons who use marijuana are more likely
to eventually try hard drugs than those who never use marijuana implying
that marijuana use somehow causes hard drug use. But a model developed
by RAND Corp. researcher Andrew Morral demonstrates that these
associations can be explained without requiring a gateway effect. More
likely, this federally funded study suggests, some people simply have an
underlying propensity to try drugs, and start with whats most readily
available. Morral AR, McCaffrey D and Paddock S. Reassessing the
Marijuana Gateway Effect. Addiction. December 2002. p. 1493-1504.
--------------------------------------------------
7) PROHIBITION DOESNT WORK (PART I): The White House had the National
Research Council examine the data being gathered about drug use and the
effects of U.S. drug policies. NRC concluded, the nation possesses
little information about the effectiveness of current drug policy,
especially of drug law enforcement. And what data exist show little
apparent relationship between severity of sanctions prescribed for drug
use and prevalence or frequency of use. In other words, there is no
proof that prohibition the cornerstone of U.S. drug policy for a century
reduces drug use. National Research Council. Informing Americas Policy
on Illegal Drugs: What We Dont Know Keeps Hurting Us. National Academy
Press, 2001. p. 193.
--------------------------------------------------
6) PROHIBITION DOESNT WORK (PART II: DOES PROHIBITION CAUSE THE GATEWAY
EFFECT?): U.S. and Dutch researchers, supported in part by NIDA,
compared marijuana users in San Francisco, where non-medical use remains
illegal, to Amsterdam, where adults may possess and purchase small
amounts of marijuana from regulated businesses. Looking at such
parameters as frequency and quantity of use and age at onset of use,
they found no differences except one: Lifetime use of hard drugs was
significantly lower in Amsterdam, with its tolerant marijuana policies.
For example, lifetime crack cocaine use was 4.5 times higher in San
Francisco than Amsterdam. Reinarman, C, Cohen, PDA, and Kaal, HL. The
Limited Relevance of Drug Policy: Cannabis in Amsterdam and San
Francisco. American Journal of Public Health. Vol. 94, No. 5. May 2004.
p. 836-842.
----------------------------------------------------
5) OOPS, MARIJUANA MAY PREVENT CANCER (PART I): Federal researchers
implanted several types of cancer, including leukemia and lung cancers,
in mice, then treated them with cannabinoids (unique, active components
found in marijuana). THC and other cannabinoids shrank tumors and
increased the mices lifespans. Munson, AE et al. Antineoplastic Activity
of Cannabinoids. Journal of the National Cancer Institute. Sept. 1975.
p. 597-602.
----------------------------------------------------
4) OOPS, MARIJUANA MAY PREVENT CANCER, (PART II): In a 1994 study the
government tried to suppress, federal researchers gave mice and rats
massive doses of THC, looking for cancers or other signs of toxicity.
The rodents given THC lived longer and had fewer cancers, in a
dose-dependent manner (i.e. the more THC they got, the fewer tumors).
NTP Technical Report On The Toxicology And Carcinogenesis Studies Of
1-Trans- Delta-9-Tetrahydrocannabinol, CAS No. 1972-08-3, In F344/N Rats
And B6C3F Mice, Gavage Studies. See also, Medical Marijuana: Unpublished
Federal Study Found THC-Treated Rats Lived Longer, Had Less Cancer, AIDS
Treatment News no. 263, Jan. 17, 1997.
----------------------------------------------------
3) OOPS, MARIJUANA MAY PREVENT CANCER (PART III): Researchers at the
Kaiser-Permanente HMO, funded by NIDA, followed 65,000 patients for
nearly a decade, comparing cancer rates among non-smokers, tobacco
smokers, and marijuana smokers. Tobacco smokers had massively higher
rates of lung cancer and other cancers. Marijuana smokers who didnt also
use tobacco had no increase in risk of tobacco-related cancers or of
cancer risk overall. In fact their rates of lung and most other cancers
were slightly lower than non-smokers, though the difference did not
reach statistical significance. Sidney, S. et al. Marijuana Use and
Cancer Incidence (California, United States). Cancer Causes and Control.
Vol. 8. Sept. 1997, p. 722-728.
--------------------------------------------------
2) OOPS, MARIJUANA MAY PREVENT CANCER (PART IV): Donald Tashkin, a UCLA
researcher whose work is funded by NIDA, did a case-control study
comparing 1,200 patients with lung, head and neck cancers to a matched
group with no cancer. Even the heaviest marijuana smokers had no
increased risk of cancer, and had somewhat lower cancer risk than
non-smokers (tobacco smokers had a 20-fold increased lung cancer risk).
Tashkin D. Marijuana Use and Lung Cancer: Results of a Case-Control
Study. American Thoracic Society International Conference. May 23, 2006.
----------------------------------------------------
1) MARIJUANA DOES HAVE MEDICAL VALUE: In response to passage of
Californias medical marijuana law, the White House had the Institute of
Medicine (IOM) review the data on marijuanas medical benefits and risks.
The IOM concluded, Nausea, appetite loss, pain and anxiety are all
afflictions of wasting, and all can be mitigated by marijuana. While
noting potential risks of smoking, the report added, we acknowledge that
there is no clear alternative for people suffering from chronic
conditions that might be relieved by smoking marijuana, such as pain or
AIDS wasting. The governments refusal to acknowledge this finding caused
co-author John A. Benson to tell the New York Times that the government
loves to ignore our report they would rather it never happened. Joy, JE,
Watson, SJ, and Benson, JA. Marijuana and Medicine: Assessing the
Science Base. National Academy Press. 1999. p. 159. See also, Harris, G.
FDA Dismisses Medical Benefit From Marijuana. New York Times. Apr. 21,
2006
Gee thanks 420MED.COM. for the invaluable references.
The following material is included for the more uninformed
lurkers and prohibitionists. All of it is from U.S.A. government
sources.
** Begin copied material from Usenet **
Marijuana: it's nowhere near as scary as they
want you to think.
Truth: the Anti-drug war http://www.briancbennett.com
Nothing will ever change if we don't stand up for ourselves:
http://cannabisconsumers.org
"Cops say legalize drugs" ask them why: http://www.leap.cc
America just celebrated 90 years of Federal drug "control" (the
Harrision Narcotics Act was passed on December 17, 1914) -- When do you
suppose this prohibition stuff will start to "work"?
Brian Bennett, Thursday, 17 December 2004
** End copied material from Usenet ** Even if cannabis shortened
lives as much as tobacco, people should be allowed to use it in private.
TTFN,...~Papa Red.
Papa Red
---------------------------------------------
Opera fans 'prefer magic mushrooms'
More than a quarter of classical music fans have tried cannabis while
opera lovers prefer magic mushrooms.
They are among the findings of a new study of music tastes and
lifestyles by researchers at the University of Leicester. They
discovered that fans of every style of music had taken drugs, with those
who preferred DJ-based club music topping the list. A quarter of
classical music buffs have tried cannabis and 12.3 per cent of opera
lovers had tried magic mushrooms. The study also revealed that blues
buffs are the most likely to have received a driving penalty.
More than 2,500 people were interviewed for the study, which is
published in the scientific journal Psychology of Music. Fans of
musicals come out as the most mild-mannered group, with the lowest level
of drug-taking and criminal acts. But followers of hip hop and dance
music are more likely to have had multiple sex partners over the last
five years and were among the biggest drug-takers surveyed.
"It comes out in the study that, in these types of music, fans score
worse in various behaviours, such as criminality, sexual promiscuity and
drug use," said Dr Adrian North, who led the research. Home - News -
Entertainment - Sport - Business Copyright © 2006 Ananova Ltd
Terms and conditions of use - Privacy policy - Corrections - Contact
Ananova - About Ananova
Papa Red
http://www.myflorida.com/accessflorida/
Papa Red
Currently there are job openings at the Meridian Food Market & Cafe 812
6th Street <{just opposite [south] of the community center}> on the
southern end of Miami Beach, Florida Tel.305-673-8884.
=<>===<0>=={0O0}==<0>===<>=
And as I have stated here before, this supermarket has a Free Delivery
service for all grocery orders of $30.00 or more <{Entrega Gratis con su
orden de $30.00 o mas]. And both Food Stamps & WIC checks are accepted
there. Also, for your safety and convenience, there is an ATM machine
inside the store, for your instant cash access needs for you to
use. They are currently selling a fine selection of both ethnic and
health food products, as well as a healthy selection of regular fare.
Plus they sell many types of dry goods, including certain kinds of
house-hold hardware [pliers, screw drivers, etc.], kitchen items [pots,
pans, kettles, silver and cookingware, et cetera]. Come check out the
delicious ready-made hot foods, at the in-house cafeteria, for either
'eat in' or 'take out' service,...The dining area has a view, one that I
often enjoy in the mornings, watching people and vehicles pass by, while
I have my breakfast there, because I love the meat & egg omelets, that
come with Cuban coffee, and toast made with Cuban bread and butter, or
the scrambled eggs & ham, with a side order of french fries. And if that
doesn't sound tasty, then there are many other delicious selections of
hot & cold, well made, ready to eat foods & sandwiches to choose
from,...and freshly-made Cuban Sandwiches for $2.99 each, as well as
other types of well-made sandwiches [I like their roast beef
sandwiches]. And you can purchase Cuban bread that is baked there daily.
--------------------------------------------------
And just in case anyone is wondering, I have been writing and posting
this for some time now, simply because I genuinely happen to like the
service and the friendly people there. I get no monies or favours what
so ever from them because of this or any of my previous postings about
this or any other store, restaurant, et cetera. Do you have a
favourite food store, drug store, clothing store, restaurant, et cetera?
Why don't you do like I have done, and post here in this newsgroup about
it, complete with address, phone number, hours & days of operation, and
any other current information about the place, and help to make this a
true community newsgroup, instead of just one for the sociopathic trolls
and hate mongers.~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Counties
http://www.southfloridatheater.com/
Papa Red
is a Dog & Cat Pet Shop over on 5th Street in South Beach. The "Petopia"
pet shop is situated in the one story building on the south side of 5th
Street, between Meridian and Jefferson Avenue. I didn't see any cats or
kittens there, but they have a nice selection of the cutest bunch of
professionally-bred puppies that you'll find anywhere. And from what I
saw, if it's for a dog or cat, these folks will most likely have it.
They carry such product lines as: NUTRO; SCIENCE DIET; IAMS; and
EUKANUBA. And something that I really liked, is that their puppies are
all lively and healthy-looking. And the store's isles are wide, and the
place is very well lit, and believe me, it's exceptionally clean,
otherwize I wouldn't be taking the time to type all of this out and
posting it here.
The store is open Monday through Saturday, 10 am, to 8 pm,
and on Sunday, from 10 am to 5 pm. Their phone number is: 305-673-0091.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Calle 6 Food Market is now open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and
is located at: 630 6th Street, Miami Beach, Florida, 33139. Phone
# 305 - 532 - 7251.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Papa Red
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=how+to+read+food+labels&btnG=Google+Search
Papa Red
Papa Red
http://www.pbs.org/now/shows/235/voting-rules.html ~Papa Red.
Papa Red
from the film classic, "The Wizard of Oz",...while reading the lyrics
below. And you should listen to it often,...Especially at the very
beginning of your day, right before you have to go out and do combat
with the world, if you know what I mean,... It just could put a slightly
better 'spin' on what you come across during your day,... Hey,...It
couldn't hurt<LOL>~Papa Red.
http://planet.time.net.my/KLCC/eport2/somewhereovertherainbow.wav
Lyrics:
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful
World
From the album "Meet Joe Black Soundtrack" Somewhere over the rainbow
way up high
And the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby Somewhere over the
rainbow blue birds fly And the dreams that you dream of, dreams
really do come true Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up where the
clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me Somewhere over
the rainbow bluebirds fly And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh
why can't I? Well I see trees of green and red roses too, I'll
watch then bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world Well I see skies of
blue and I see clouds of white and the brightness of day I like the
dark and I think to myself, what a wonderful world The colors of the
rainbow so pretty in the sky are also on the faces of people passing
by I see friends shaking hands saying, How do you do? They're
really saying, I, I love you I hear babies cry and I watch them
grow, They'll learn much more than we'll know And I think to
myself, what a wonderful world Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up
where the clouds are far behind me Where trouble melts like lemon
drops
High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me Somewhere over
the rainbow way up high
And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?
-------------------------------------------------
Folks,...I hope that that recording brought you special magic into your
heart and into your day/night. Pax Vobiscum,...Papa Red.
Papa Red
By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and
said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered,
"Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable,
but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able
to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four
children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped
knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."
.
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I won't," the Lord protested.
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own
heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
.
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so
soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed,
"but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able
to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied,
"Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate." !
.
The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you
have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too
much into this one." "That's not a leak,"
the Lord corrected,
"that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow,
her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and
her pride." The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing."
And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their
family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They
love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear
about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when
they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk,
run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a
woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and
love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital
things to say and everything to give . HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN
WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH. Pax Vobiscum,...~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Papa Red
"We must recognize that peace in the world means little to us unless we
can preserve it at home. We cannot continue to deny and postpone the
demands of our own people, while spending billions in the name of
freedom for others."
~ Robert F. Kennedy
Papa Red
http://www.50plusfriends.com/cookbook/crockpot/index-5b.html
Bon Appetit, Mon Ami!~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I
tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will
you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation
system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop
and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"
You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter
than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd
of sheep.
Now give me back my dog! ~Papa Red.
Papa Red
years. He had a large pond in the back, which was properly shaped and
set up for swimming. Surrounding the pond were picnic tables, horseshoe
courts and a small orchard with oranges and avacodo trees. One evening
the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there
for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring
back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and
laughing with glee. Coming closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep
end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
leave!".
The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you young ladies
swim around naked, or to make you get out of the pond!". Holding the
bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed my pet alligators."
Moral of the story: Us old men can still think pretty fast.<LOL>~Papa
Red.
Papa Red
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital
4. Note: Patient here recovering from forehead cut. Patient
became very
angry when given an enema by mistake.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be
depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10 Health appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert
but
forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until
she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
22. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities.
This would be funnier if all these weren't true....it is
scary!
Papa Red
Papa Red
balky laptop computer, the tech entered the serial number of the machine
and up flashed a note that the computer had been reported stolen in a
burglary. The tech notified police in Lincoln, Neb., and gave them the
man's address.
Police executed a search warrant, recovered the stolen laptop and a gun
reported stolen 16 years ago, and arrested Brown on suspicion of
burglary. (Lincoln Journal Star) ...Proving once again that customer
support will do anything it can to avoid actually repairing busted
laptops.
Pax Vobiscum,...~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it...
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you
had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you
came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You came home and ate in two minutes and went straight to bed after
watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore. You don't want sex anymore or
anything, either your cheating on me or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the cause I'm gone.
Your Ex-husband
P.S. Don't try to find me..Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together...Have a great life..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a
far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
and
gripping. I did notice your hair cut last week , the first thing that
came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my Mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice. And when you cooked
my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with my Sister because
I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you
had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I
prayed
that it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50.00 from me
that
morning...and your silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still
loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that
I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought
two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've
always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime
from me.
So take care,...
Signed...Rich as Hell and Free.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
Carl. I hope that is not a problem.
Papa Red
dang-blasted dumb that they don't even know enough to get out of the
freezing rain? Every year American farmers lose many turkeys that
freeze to death, instead of going into the warm shelter that is provided
for them. ~Papa Red.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/101006EB.shtml Monbiot says that a new
report on rainfall and evaporation under global warming may be the most
important science report of the year. While climate scientists have been
predicting that the wet parts of the world are likely to become wetter
and the dry parts drier, they had assumed that overall rainfall would
rise, as higher temperatures increase evaporation. But the new paper's
"drought index" covers both rainfall and evaporation: overall, the world
becomes drier.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/101006EC.shtml Evidence is mounting
that rapid population growth and rising living standards among the
Earth's six billion inhabitants are putting an intolerable strain on
nature. For the first time, a British think-tank has sought to pinpoint
how quickly man is using the global resources of farmland, forests,
fish, air and energy.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/101106P.shtml
Stephen Rohde writes: "The Military Commission Act is breathtaking in
its denial of fundamental rights under the Constitution and
international law. The law re-establishes virtually intact President
Bush's military tribunals, which were rejected by the Supreme Court as
unconstitutional."
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/101106EA.shtml A bankrupt copper giant
facing billions of dollars in pollution claims across the nation
pretended for years to recycle metals while illegally burning hazardous
waste in a notorious El Paso smelter, according to a newly released
Environmental Protection Agency document.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/101106EC.shtml New Jersey faces a
multi-billion dollar gap in its water quality infrastructure but has no
coherent plan to address its self-identified needs, according to Public
Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER).
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/101106LA.shtml Were you recently laid
off from what should have been a cushy office job? Did you mistakenly
think your college education would guarantee a decent financial future?
Do you pass the twilight hours looking for new ways to say "database
skills" on your Monster.com resume, only to wake up in a pool of instant
coffee and crumpled rejection letters? Barbara Ehrenreich wants you to
know that you are not alone!
Papa Red
A Priest and a Rabbi, who had been the best of friends for years, were
always arguing the finer points of their respective theologies, trying
to prove the other one was wrong.
One day they were riding in a car, when they got cut off by a drunk
driver.
The car flew off the road, rolled five times end-over-end, and came to
rest on its roof. The Priest and Rabbi crawled from the wreckage and
were amazed that they were alive.
As the Priest crossed himself, he noticed the Rabbi doing the same. The
Priest shouted, "Praise Be! You've seen the Light!" "What?" said the
Rabbi.
"You-you've crossed yourself. You have seen the True Way! This is
wonderful." stated the Priest.
"Cross myself?!? No- no- no!" explained the Rabbi, "Not me, I was just
checking if everything was still in place . . . . Spectacles, Testicles,
Wallet and Watch."
Pax Vobiscum,...~Papa Red.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/103006EC.shtml "Cheers fit for a
revival meeting swept a hotel ballroom as 1,800 entrepreneurs and
experts watched a PowerPoint presentation of the most promising
technologies for limiting global warming: solar power, wind, ethanol and
other farmed fuels, energy-efficient buildings and fuel-sipping cars.
'Houston,' Charles F. Kutscher, chairman of the Solar 2006 conference,
concluded in a twist on the line from Apollo 13, 'we have a solution.'
Hold the applause," cautions Andrew C. Revkin.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Papa Red
|
~My own Papa Red's NG-stop by and say, "Hi"
~I'm just a Bagpipe player in an Acid-Rock band~
"PACIFIC CORAL REEF"
Florida-Related Links
My Betta splendens, and different types of Corydoras species
Xenopus laevis, African Clawed Frog
A Wee Bit of Jocularity by Papa Red
Papa Red
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/101606HA.shtml Michael Pollan says:
"... these days, the way we farm and the way we process our food, both
of which have been industrialized and centralized over the last few
decades, are endangering our health. The Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention estimate that our food supply now sickens 76 million
Americans every year, putting more than 300,000 of them in the hospital,
and killing 5,000."
Papa Red
sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will
grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can
ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would
take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but
it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify
me." The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord,
I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she
feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment,
why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how
I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
Papa Red
http://www.southfloridamuseum.org/
Papa Red
http://www.epodunk.com/profiles/fl_a.html
Papa Red
Papa Red
http://edit.travel.yahoo.com/config/ytravel_checkflight ~Papa Red.
Papa Red
Papa Red
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/120106R.shtml Former US secretary of
state Colin Powell does not believe the United States will attack Iran
and says Washington should speak to Tehran and Syria.
K
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/120106D.shtml The new Democratic
leadership faces pressure to end taxpayer-funded pensions to misbehaving
members of Congress. Over 20 civic organizations claiming to have
millions of members sent a letter to the new Democratic leadership
demanding that they immediately pass a law taking away pensions from
members of Congress who've been convicted of a felony.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/120306Y.shtml As Robert Gates awaits
Senate confirmation as President Bush's secretary of defense, ethics
watchdogs worry about the revolving door between government and private
business that allowed Gates to align himself with defense contractors,
investment houses and a global drilling company involved with Vice
President Dick Cheney's former employer, Halliburton Co.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/120406WA.shtml The nightmares didn't
start until months after Alicia Flores returned home. The images were
stark and disturbing: In one dream, a dying Iraqi man desperately
grabbed her arm. In another, she was lost in a blinding sandstorm.
Sometimes, Flores awakened to discover her mouth was dust-dry - as if
she were really stumbling through the scorching, 120-degree desert. The
nightmares bring Flores back to Iraq, and her service in the Army's 92nd
Chemical Company. She was just 19 when her unit arrived there. Now 23,
she's left with memories of women and children being killed, of hauling
bodies, of shooting a teenage Iraqi fighter.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/121106EA.shtml A federal climate
scientist in Boulder says his boss told him never to utter the word
Kyoto and tried to bar him from using the phrase climate change at a
conference. The allegations come as federal investigators probe whether
Bush administration officials tried to block government scientists from
speaking freely about global warming and attempted to censor their
research.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/issues_06/121106EB.shtml Congress gave final
approval this morning to legislation to open 8.3 million acres of
federal waters west of the Florida coast to oil and gas drilling, a
victory for business interests who lobbied for the bill and four Gulf
Coast states that would receive billions in new oil and gas royalties.
But even drilling supporters admitted it was just a tiny fraction of the
publicly owned area they had hoped to open during 12 years of Republican
rule of Congress.
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/121206D.shtml Robert Parry writes:
"General Augusto Pinochet's death on December 10 means the Bush Family
can breathe a little bit easier, knowing that criminal proceedings
against Chile's notorious dictator can no longer implicate his longtime
friend and protector, former President George H.W. Bush."
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/121306K.shtml Sari Gelzer interviews
Tom Engelhardt about his new book, Mission Unaccomplished. Gelzer
writes, "The collection of interviews surpasses the usual mainstream
media's soundbytes and the reader enters the realm of intimate
discussion with some of the most interesting and intelligent peace
activists, former military personnel, scholars, journalists, and
everyday Americans."
Sk
Papa Red
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/121306O.shtml
"The refusal by the National Science Teachers Association to distribute
Al Gore's film 'An Inconvenient Truth' has ignited a firestorm of
controversy and an avalanche of inquiries that the NSTA continues to
mishandle," writes John Borowski.