I love to hack shrinks!
LCC
psychologists. I have provoked them with other documents in the past.
They tend to take everything which I present as the unvarnished truth
as I believe it. A more sophisticated and less impressionable audience
should be better able to digest this. Can you tell a bald faced lie
from a bare faced truth ? Can you tell a bare faced lie from a bald
faced truth ? Does either apply since I am "a hairy guy" ? Are you
fascinated by train wrecks ? Do you prefer symphonies, opera, rock and
roll, or the circus ? Can you compose jokes, effectively tell jokes,
appreciate jokes presented by others, or are you a humorless cerebral
entity dedicated to "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
truth" ? If the last, then I challenge you to present even ONE
document written in the history of mankind which meets your criteria
even when taken out of context. If I recall correctly, Pilate said
"What is truth?" and washed his hands, leaving the lynching of Jesus
to the mob of jewish authorities outraged by His radical views. I may
have more in common with the devil incarnate (in the view of religious
folks) than Jesus, and may be lynched (figuratively if not literally)
before the year is out. If that happens I intend to go down fighting
like a man all the way, not like some boot licking slavish Spaniel
DOG. Cat lovers unite!
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First of all, I am trying hard not to lie, which is difficult. Judge
for yourself based upon available evidence whether I am telling
nothing but the truth here. I would never have resorted to a
discussion like this except that the alternative seems to be loss of
the ability to use computer resources such as Google and YouTube to
keep busy. It seems that I do not have a single friend or ally in the
world. Even my family thoroughly disagrees with whatever I attempt....
Second of all, I am a "born again" Christian who was "saved" early in
the third grade. For a while I accepted whatever I was told, but as
time passed I began to have serious doubts about organized religion
as practiced by those whom I observed. So in essence I became a
"reprobate" as I secretly rejected the whole package except for the
existence of God alone. Without formal study I developed moral and
ethical principles which I thought were of value as opposed to the
hodgepodge of allegorical baggage taught by the Bible. I have no
coherent list of such principles to present, because I seldom think
about the subject. Some things I perceive to be more wrong than
others, such as killing living beings except for food, clothing,
housing or as a defense against pests. I am very flexible on the
matter of lying. I have polished a talent for it almost as much as I
have honed the ability to hold a grudge. I think that such matters are
best worked out by asking (praying if you prefer that term) God
whether a given behavior is right in the current situation as it
develops. The feeling of pleasure or distress which results should be
a clear indicator....
God is said to have infinite patience. I think that God also has a low
sense of humor, or not to use human values, a "Divine" sense of
justice. Observing my few beliefs, God has tested me since childhood
to see what I would do, which is an egocentric viewpoint and
solipcism if ever there was one. With an infinite amount of resources
and infinite attention, God is able to tailor-make realities to fit
whatever God's sense of justice dictates for each being. Those who
match a particular reality exist and interact in it until Divine
judgement decrees a change. See the Wikipedia article on "Reality
Shift". As the years have passed I have experienced many such shifts
and kept quiet about it to avoid being called crazy. Since I am
already considered crazy, I have nothing to lose by discussing it now.
Evidence that the phenomenon is real can be objectively observed by
anyone who surveys a statistically significant sample of U.S.A.
population to determine what they think are the words to the "Star
Spangled Banner". The discrepancies are due to importation of
"foreign" reality citizens into the one in which the study is
conducted. As an example does Sandi Patti / Sandy Patti / Sandy Patty
sing the words "those who : 'keep freedom free' / 'seek freedom's
dream' " ??? It varies constantly on the same YouTube selection.
Perhaps I am an exceptional consciousness able to observe the change
where others have memory of the old version wiped out, but I think
not. If the many versions of the same recording are hacks, then a
marvelous struggle is in progress to control what version people play,
which is remarkable in and of itself. As I noted for the first time in
2001 on the Shrapnelgames forum, lyrics, names and versions keep
changing for me. So chances are that I have no "home" reality or
alternatively that there are very many versions of me all shifting
about as God dictates....
Since childhood I have almost been killed at least five times. In each
case, time slowed to a halt in my mind and I was faced with making a
choice between alternatives. a) While climbing a tree, the limbs broke
and I fell over 20 feet. b) While riding a bicycle, I was struck in
the head by a football. c) While playing baseball catcher, I was
struck in the head by a bat. d) While trying to light a campfire, the
jug of white gas blew up in my hand. e) While riding a bicycle in the
summer of 1976, I was struck by a fast moving car driven by Jimpsie
Seay and thrown through the air. The bicycle was utterly destroyed and
I survived with nothing more serious than a bruised hip and sprained
back.
The last resulted in the most radical reality shift of my lifetime.
Rock and roll (which WAS healthy) died and was replaced by trash
growing increasingly worse. I just this week drew the final conclusion
that I really died, and I have been living in a software developer's
Heaven/ hell ever since 1976. I suspected that such was the case in
2001 when I gave the ditty : "I have a silly ditty, which I will now
tell. / Earth is really Heaven, and Heaven is really hell." Notice
that personal computers first appeared in 1977. The development of
personal computers has utterly demolished the 1976 mainframe concept
except for parallel processor systems. As of 1976 the most popular
usage was time shared mainframes, of which my university had the most
popular - Xerox Sigma 9. Although IBM dominated the market there were
alternatives such as Xerox, Univac, Honeywell, SUN, and DEC to name a
few. Each had its own machine instruction set and languages/ utilities
as well as a custom operating system. In the competitive environment
innovation was rapid. But the snake in the garden was the vast boa
constrictor IBM, which I took to be a personal enemy to progress. In
the field of personal computers there was great competition at first
from such players as Motorola, TI, Zilog, Rockwell, AMD, and of
course Intel. As Intel was chosen to be the exclusive processor by IBM
for personal computers, it became a second personal enemy. With the
addition of Microsoft as the exclusive operating system endorsed by
IBM, the trinity of evil was completed for me. What has been Heaven
for Bill Gates is my personal hell....
As explained in the letter accompanying this text (which I wrote last
week to President Bush), my life has been a struggle for a very long
time. During the past three months, I have been cooking (at maximum
heat ) a stew of conflict between myself and the power elite. On
Friday the 13th, I had intended with a final comment to stop the
struggle and let the Situation brew in a low heat crock pot for a
while. But now I am unable to even entertain myself in private on
YouTube without censorship of the search lists. That is totally
unacceptable and (unless it is corrected) will result in an escalation
of the war rather than a truce. If I am unable to use the computer
then I will conceive some way to make a significant difference anyway
if God is willing. Because my letter to President Bush resulted only
in my outgoing email being blocked, it seems that my surrender is not
acceptable. In such a case, I will NEVER give in, and NEVER give
up....
Lonnie Courtney Clay
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Laughing Crazy Coot/
Lonnie Courtney Clay