How to develop good managing skills

[K.Karthik Raja]

How to develop good managing skills

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Good managers use coaching skills as part of their repertoire. The
focus is on cooperation and facilitation of the other person's
development. Coaching involves crating a comfortable environment where
action plans can be developed together.

To become the most effective coach possible, work on mastering the
following skills:

Listing actively
Asking the right questions
Advocating your opinions
Giving feedback as a coach
Receiving feedback as a coach
Building agreement
"I never could figure out why people didn't seem to follow my advice
much. When I started to learn about the true art of coaching, it
became painfully clear that my brilliance was failing on deaf ears
because I hadn't done a bit of inquiry to learn what they were
thinking, what they'd already tried, what their biggest priority was.
Inquiry has made all the difference. It turns out most people want
less advice but more opportunity to explore their own thinking with a
caring coach who is paying attention." -- PattyMcManus, consultant,
Interaction Associates

Tip: Those who coach regularly, coach better. Find opportunities to
develop your coaching skills

Listen actively

As a coach you need to be tuned into the other person's feelings and
motivations. You do this through active listening. Active listening
encourages communication and puts other people at ease. Active
listening also clarifies what's been said to avoid misunderstanding.
As an active listener, give the coachee your full attention by
following guidelines:

Maintain eye contact with the coachee.
Smile to put the other person at ease.
Avoid anything that will distract your attention. For example, don't
answer the telephone. Only take notes if necessary.
Be sensitive to body language such as posture and arm position. Is the
person tense or relaxed?
Listen first and evaluate later.
Do not interrupt the other person except to ask questions to clarify
and to encourage him to continue.
Repeat in your own words what you think the other person has said.
Wait until after he has finished talking to plan your responses.
What Would you Do? No Sign of Change

As Paula Sat through Tony's presentation, bored as a rock, the sad
truth slowly dawned on her. He was making the same mistakes now that
he had been making six months ago! His nose was buried in his notes.
He was droning on and on, and he had not incorporated a single visual
into the entire presentation! Yet they had spoken about his need to
work on this very skill.

Tony had told her that public speaking was something he just couldn't
do. Paula had assured him that with hard work and practice he could do
it. He believed her and he kept trying. So why, then, was he still so
bad at it? Was there something more she could do to help him improve?

Tip: Coach your direct reports; don't play psychologist. It's not
appropriate and you are probably not qualified.

Ask questions

Asking questions is a valuable tool for understanding the other person
and determining his or her perspective. Use both open-ended and close-
ended questions. Each yields a different response.

Notice how this manager asks open-ended questions to uncover the
employee's perspectives, listens actively to what is said, and then
checks for understanding.

Ilka: Gonzalo, how do you feel the project is going?

Gonzalo: Pretty well. We're on schedule.

Ilka nods her head.

Gonzalo: But it's tight. There's no room to spare.

Ilka: Because�?

Gonzalo: Because when Jenna left, no one was hired to replace her.

Ilka: And because you've lost one person�?

Gonzalo: It's going to be really hard to meet the deadline.

Ilka: Are you saying that you'll deliver on time, but it will be
difficult? Or that you may not be able to meet the deadline?

Gonzalo: Well, I think we can make the deadline, but there is a chance
we might miss it.

Ilka: And if we want to be sure to finish on time�?

Gonzalo: We'd need more help.

Ilka: Perhaps we could look into getting some temporary help.

Tip: Ask a lot of open questions

Most managers ask too few.

Ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions invite participation
and idea sharing. Use them to:

Explore alternatives: "What would happen if�"
Uncover attitudes or needs: "How do you feel about our progress to
date?"
Establish priorities and allow elaboration: "What do you think the
major issues are with this project?"
When you want to find out more about the other person's motivations
and feelings, think of open-ended questions. Though this type of
questioning you can uncover your coache's true concerns. This, in
turn, will help you formulate better advice and ideas about how you
can help her.

Use close-ended questions carefully. Close-ended questions lead to
"yes" or "no" answers. Use them to:

Focus the response: "Is the project on schedule?"
Confirm what the other person has said: "So, the critical issue is
cost?"
Advocate for your opinions

Effective coaches offer their ideas and advice in such a way that the
person receiving it can hear them, respond to them, and consider their
value. It is important to advocate for your opinions in a clear and
balanced way.

Describe the individual's situation as you see it.
State your opinion about the situation.
Make the thoughts behind your opinion explicit, and share your
experiences.
Encourage the other person to provide her perspective.
Your collaboration with the coachee will be most successful if you use
both inquiry and advocacy in your communications. Over-reliance on
inquiry can result in the participants' withholding important
information and positions. Conversely, if you emphasize advocacy too
heavily, you create a controlling atmosphere that can undermine the
coaching partnership.

Give feedback as a coach

Feedback differs from advocacy in that you are responding to a
specific behavior or action rather than presenting and arguing your
position on the overall problem or need for change. Giving and
receiving feedback is a critical part of managing in general, but it
is an especially important part of coaching. This give-and-take goes
on throughout the coaching process as you identify issues to work on,
develop action plans together, and assess the follow-through.

When giving feedback -- whether positive or negative -- try to do the
following:

Focus on behavior -- not character, attitudes, or personality:
Describe the other person's behavior and its effect on projects and/or
coworkers. Avoid judgmental language, which only makes people
defensive. For example, instead of saying, "You're rude and
domineering," say, "I observed that you interrupted Fred several times
during each of our last three meetings."

Be specific: Avoid generalizations. Instead of saying, "You did a
really good job," you could say, "The transparencies you used for your
presentation were effective in getting the message across."

Be sincere: Give feedback with the clear intent of helping the person
improve.

Be realistic: Focus on factors that the other person can control.

Give feedback early and often in the coaching process: Frequent
feedback that is delivered soon after the fact is more effective than
infrequent feedback.

"Good coaches have coaches of their own. I can remember one time when
I received timely and exquisite coaching. My boss gave me feedback
about a self-defeating communication habit I'd gotten into. Because
she was compassionate, caring, and clear as a bell in her description,
I was able to see exactly what she was talking about and explore why I
was caught in this pattern. I was then able to shift my style and get
the kind of results I intended."
-- Patty McManus, consultant

Receive feedback as a coach

You also need to be open to feedback on how effective you are as a
coach. Coaches who are able to request and process feedback about
themselves learn more about the effectiveness of their management
styles and create greater trust among members of their groups. To
improve you ability to receive feedback:

Ask for specific information. For example, "What did I say that made
you think I wasn't interested in your proposal?" or "How were my
suggestions helpful to you?"

When you ask for clarification, do so in a way that doesn't put the
other person on the defensive. Instead of saying, "What do you mean I
seemed hostile to your idea?" say, "Could you give me an example?"

Be willing to receive both negative and positive feedback.

Encourage the other person to avoid emotion-laden terms. For example,
"You said that I am often inflexible. Give me an example of things I
do that give you the sense that I am not flexible."

Don't be defensive. Only justify your actions if asked. Tell the other
person when you've gotten all the feedback you can effectively
process.

Thank the person for being willing to share feedback with you, both
positive and negative. This will improve trust and model productive
behavior to the person you are coaching.

Building agreement

Agreements are the foundation of coaching. You build agreements in the
beginning as you commit to working together, and throughout your
relationship as you pursue the coaching objectives. The agreement
process includes all the above activities from initially recognizing
the need for coaching to observing to listening actively to one
another and collaboratively coming to agreement about the issues and
resolutions.

There has to be agreement between the coach and the coachee for the
coaching process to work. However, agreement can range from skeptical
acceptance to wholehearted involvement. When your coachee sees
progress being made on changing behavior or building skills, then
agreement will become easier to achieve.