Answer the FAQs.
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Jeremy Lyman
Aug 12, 2009, 10:51:01 AM8/12/09
to Johnson 18 One Design -2009
I was reading through the FAQ on the website the other day and whilst
thinking of revising a few of them I had a stroke of brilliance. Who
is frequently asked questions about Johnson 18's and therefore
probably has some answers? Sailors! Why not get input from sailors
instead of just making things up? Brilliant!
So below are a bunch of FAQ topics to start with. I've tried to sort
by questioner demographic. Pick and choose as you like and make your
own up, so long as you've got answers. Well, I spose you could pose
unanswered FAQs, so long as they're not impossible. (please do put
the Q before the A, so we all can keep track)
BOATYARD INQUISITOR
What's that boat?
Why does it look so different?
How fast is it?
What is it like to sail?
Who sails them?
How big is the Class?
You must be pretty athletic!
What are the Johnson 18s good points?
What are the Johnson 18s bad points?
INTERNET FORUM NOOB
What does the term "one-design class" mean?
What is this "trapeze" thing the Johnson 18 doesn't have?
The asymmetric spinnaker is just a gimmick, right? (what is this
"spinnaker" thing?)
Where does the Johnson 18 fit into the category of other J-boats?
INTRIGUED CYBER-SHOPPER
Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for first-time sailors?
Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for leisurely, romantic sailing on lazy
warm afternoons?
Can I singlehand this boat?
How technical is rigging and sailing a Johnson 18?
Doesn't the lack of a transom get you very wet?
Where are there active Johnson 18 fleets?
How much do Johnson 18s cost?
SKEPTIC CYBER-SHOPPER
With 500 other One-Design classes to choose from, why the Johnson 18?
What does the Johnson 18 Class Association offer?
If I'm a serious racer, shouldn't I get a boat with a larger class?
Is spinnaker...
...too big?
... too small?
... too complicated?
... no good for sailing dead-downwind?
Aren't there comparable boats for cheaper?
I've heard racing sailors from other classes say that the Johnson 18
is underpowered.
I've also heard them say the Johnson 18 is too heavy.
With no trapeze, doesn't it take a lot of weight to be competitive?
OTHER JN-18 SAILOR
Where'd you get your sails?
Did you steal my plugs?
Can I get a beer?
thinking of revising a few of them I had a stroke of brilliance. Who
is frequently asked questions about Johnson 18's and therefore
probably has some answers? Sailors! Why not get input from sailors
instead of just making things up? Brilliant!
So below are a bunch of FAQ topics to start with. I've tried to sort
by questioner demographic. Pick and choose as you like and make your
own up, so long as you've got answers. Well, I spose you could pose
unanswered FAQs, so long as they're not impossible. (please do put
the Q before the A, so we all can keep track)
BOATYARD INQUISITOR
What's that boat?
Why does it look so different?
How fast is it?
What is it like to sail?
Who sails them?
How big is the Class?
You must be pretty athletic!
What are the Johnson 18s good points?
What are the Johnson 18s bad points?
INTERNET FORUM NOOB
What does the term "one-design class" mean?
What is this "trapeze" thing the Johnson 18 doesn't have?
The asymmetric spinnaker is just a gimmick, right? (what is this
"spinnaker" thing?)
Where does the Johnson 18 fit into the category of other J-boats?
INTRIGUED CYBER-SHOPPER
Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for first-time sailors?
Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for leisurely, romantic sailing on lazy
warm afternoons?
Can I singlehand this boat?
How technical is rigging and sailing a Johnson 18?
Doesn't the lack of a transom get you very wet?
Where are there active Johnson 18 fleets?
How much do Johnson 18s cost?
SKEPTIC CYBER-SHOPPER
With 500 other One-Design classes to choose from, why the Johnson 18?
What does the Johnson 18 Class Association offer?
If I'm a serious racer, shouldn't I get a boat with a larger class?
Is spinnaker...
...too big?
... too small?
... too complicated?
... no good for sailing dead-downwind?
Aren't there comparable boats for cheaper?
I've heard racing sailors from other classes say that the Johnson 18
is underpowered.
I've also heard them say the Johnson 18 is too heavy.
With no trapeze, doesn't it take a lot of weight to be competitive?
OTHER JN-18 SAILOR
Where'd you get your sails?
Did you steal my plugs?
Can I get a beer?
Cliff
Aug 17, 2009, 11:39:56 PM8/17/09
to Johnson 18 One Design -2009
First. Whilst? Did you spend time in the same British elementary
schools I did?
BOATYARD INQUISITOR
Q: What's that boat?
A: Why, a Johnson 18. Not an 18" Johnson, for the juvenile among the
audience. An 18 foot, built-like-a-brick-shithouse open dinghy.
Q: Why does it look so different?
A: It was designed by a brilliant Yoda-disciple who knows lake sailing
like no other. And the Yoda-disciple fully understood the weakness of
the human inner thigh and calf. Sitting on the gunwale, there is no
try. Only do.
Q: How fast is it?
A: Grasshopper. The answer to every question is: it depends.
Q: What is it like to sail?
A: Like butter.
Q: Who sails them?
A: With thanks to Martin Mull:
Men, men, men, men.
We're all men aboard this ship,
And none of us are sissies,
We all sleep in separate bunks,
And blow each other kissies.
Q: How big is the Class?
A: There's the rub, lad. It's tiny. But. The huge contingent is in
Annapolis. Join us!
Q: You must be pretty athletic!
A: With thanks to Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
You bet your sweet bippie!
Actually, no. The J18 is like a Rottweiler. Looks scary, but a total
cream puff. Comfy. Powerful. Not a St. Bernard, which is to say no
place for the barrel of whiskey (cooler of beers) that should be
available.
Q: What are the Johnson 18s good points?
A: Brick shit house. Indestructible. A heinous fellow sailor
slammed into me with his side deck a couple of weeks ago (and didn't
do his 720!) - several side slams that would have knocked out a frat
boy at his initiation, and we both sailed away.
Asymmetrical spinnaker prevents sailing dead downwind - this keeps you
form wallowing in your own odiferous miasma.
Open transom sends any foredeck wash right out of the boat.
Roller furling jib. Way mass cool action.
Cool points. Everyone asks: what is that boat? Oh, cool.
Very stable. You can stand on the side deck (ok, best to be less than
400 pounds), and the boat just stands there.
Q: What are the Johnson 18s bad points?
A: Brick shit house. It's not a Flying Dutchman. A little heavy.
Asymmetrical spinnaker means you can't get anywhere near dead
downwind, if that's where you want to go.
Open transom lets following seas introduces your pants to the local
H2O, and there's a fair amount of that foredeck wash.
Very stable. Upside down. This is the most stable position for this
boat, especially if the mast is planted in the local bottom
conditions.
No storage for cold beers, or anything else.
INTERNET FORUM NOOB
Q; What does the term "one-design class" mean?
A: It means you could switch boats with someone else and it wouldn't
make any difference. Except that they could break YOUR boat instead
of theirs. Pretty sneaky, eh?
Q: What is this "trapeze" thing the Johnson 18 doesn't have?
A: You want your own boat to give you wedgie when you go sailing?
Fine.
Q: The asymmetric spinnaker is just a gimmick, right? (what is this
"spinnaker" thing?)
A: Elastic in your underwear is just a gimmick, right? All you
really need is panty-suspenders.
That spinnaker thing is:
A way to impress the distaff half of the human race (as if, it doesn't
require special shoes).
A way to go really fast in medium conditions (anyone can go really
fast in wild conditions, but hold on tight).
A way to introduce color into the dull white expanse of your sail
inventory.
That asymmetrical spinnaker thing is:
A way to impress the distaff...
A way to impress traditional sailors, who think that the asymmetric is
not a gimmick but a deal with the devil.
A way to (don't tell anyone) fly a pretty large jib and pretend that
you're flying a spinnaker.
Q: Where does the Johnson 18 fit into the category of other J-boats?
A: This is a sore point. Don't ever mention it again.
INTRIGUED CYBER-SHOPPER
Q: Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for first-time sailors?
A: No. Go away.
Q: Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for leisurely, romantic sailing on
lazy warm afternoons?
A: Grasshopper. The answer to every question is, it depends. Who is
your partner? Good partner: yes.
Q: Can I singlehand this boat?
A: Yes. In less than 15 knots of wind. Or less than 20 knots. Or
less than 30 knots.
Q: How technical is rigging and sailing a Johnson 18?
A: Not. If you're a sailor. Or have an IQ of more than 80.
Q: Doesn't the lack of a transom get you very wet?
A: Grasshopper. The answer to every question is, it depends.
Sometimes.
Q: Where are there active Johnson 18 fleets?
A: The largest, only known, coolest, best, finest, fleet is in
Annapolis, Maryland.
Q: How much do Johnson 18s cost?
A: Grasshopper....
SKEPTIC CYBER-SHOPPER
Q: With 500 other One-Design classes to choose from, why the Johnson
18?
A: Because every other class sucks in some significant way that the
J18 overcomes.
Q: What does the Johnson 18 Class Association offer?
A: In Annapolis, groovy guys to hang out with. Other places, e-mail
suggests possibly groovy guys.
Q: If I'm a serious racer, shouldn't I get a boat with a larger class?
A: See above. 500 other OD classes - what larger class? (Laser?
Pheh!)
Q: Is spinnaker...
...too big?
NO
... too small?
Probably Not. Maybe
... too complicated?
See above. IQ > 80?
Q: Aren't there comparable boats for cheaper?
A: You assume "comparable". There is no " comparable".
Q: I've heard racing sailors from other classes say that the Johnson
18 is underpowered.
A: Death to the infidels. Nonsense on stilts.
Oh, wait. The Buddha would say... Grasshopper, the answer to
every....
Q: I've also heard them say the Johnson 18 is too heavy.
A: Too heavy for what? That's a pretty funny question coming from an
American. Aren't you all really fat?
Q: With no trapeze, doesn't it take a lot of weight to be competitive?
A: No. As Karen Carpenter would say, less weight is better.
OTHER J-18 SAILOR
Q: Where'd you get your sails?
A: I used the leg hair of 80-year-old men to weave the fabric, and
sewed the sails with the tail fur from road-kill cats, woven into
thread.
Q: Did you steal my plugs?
A: Dang! Busted. How'd you know it was me, dude?
Q: Can I get a beer?
A: Dude! You owe me six from 13 weeks ago. Don't you remember?
schools I did?
BOATYARD INQUISITOR
Q: What's that boat?
A: Why, a Johnson 18. Not an 18" Johnson, for the juvenile among the
audience. An 18 foot, built-like-a-brick-shithouse open dinghy.
Q: Why does it look so different?
A: It was designed by a brilliant Yoda-disciple who knows lake sailing
like no other. And the Yoda-disciple fully understood the weakness of
the human inner thigh and calf. Sitting on the gunwale, there is no
try. Only do.
Q: How fast is it?
A: Grasshopper. The answer to every question is: it depends.
Q: What is it like to sail?
A: Like butter.
Q: Who sails them?
A: With thanks to Martin Mull:
Men, men, men, men.
We're all men aboard this ship,
And none of us are sissies,
We all sleep in separate bunks,
And blow each other kissies.
Q: How big is the Class?
A: There's the rub, lad. It's tiny. But. The huge contingent is in
Annapolis. Join us!
Q: You must be pretty athletic!
A: With thanks to Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
You bet your sweet bippie!
Actually, no. The J18 is like a Rottweiler. Looks scary, but a total
cream puff. Comfy. Powerful. Not a St. Bernard, which is to say no
place for the barrel of whiskey (cooler of beers) that should be
available.
Q: What are the Johnson 18s good points?
A: Brick shit house. Indestructible. A heinous fellow sailor
slammed into me with his side deck a couple of weeks ago (and didn't
do his 720!) - several side slams that would have knocked out a frat
boy at his initiation, and we both sailed away.
Asymmetrical spinnaker prevents sailing dead downwind - this keeps you
form wallowing in your own odiferous miasma.
Open transom sends any foredeck wash right out of the boat.
Roller furling jib. Way mass cool action.
Cool points. Everyone asks: what is that boat? Oh, cool.
Very stable. You can stand on the side deck (ok, best to be less than
400 pounds), and the boat just stands there.
Q: What are the Johnson 18s bad points?
A: Brick shit house. It's not a Flying Dutchman. A little heavy.
Asymmetrical spinnaker means you can't get anywhere near dead
downwind, if that's where you want to go.
Open transom lets following seas introduces your pants to the local
H2O, and there's a fair amount of that foredeck wash.
Very stable. Upside down. This is the most stable position for this
boat, especially if the mast is planted in the local bottom
conditions.
No storage for cold beers, or anything else.
INTERNET FORUM NOOB
Q; What does the term "one-design class" mean?
A: It means you could switch boats with someone else and it wouldn't
make any difference. Except that they could break YOUR boat instead
of theirs. Pretty sneaky, eh?
Q: What is this "trapeze" thing the Johnson 18 doesn't have?
A: You want your own boat to give you wedgie when you go sailing?
Fine.
Q: The asymmetric spinnaker is just a gimmick, right? (what is this
"spinnaker" thing?)
A: Elastic in your underwear is just a gimmick, right? All you
really need is panty-suspenders.
That spinnaker thing is:
A way to impress the distaff half of the human race (as if, it doesn't
require special shoes).
A way to go really fast in medium conditions (anyone can go really
fast in wild conditions, but hold on tight).
A way to introduce color into the dull white expanse of your sail
inventory.
That asymmetrical spinnaker thing is:
A way to impress the distaff...
A way to impress traditional sailors, who think that the asymmetric is
not a gimmick but a deal with the devil.
A way to (don't tell anyone) fly a pretty large jib and pretend that
you're flying a spinnaker.
Q: Where does the Johnson 18 fit into the category of other J-boats?
A: This is a sore point. Don't ever mention it again.
INTRIGUED CYBER-SHOPPER
Q: Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for first-time sailors?
A: No. Go away.
Q: Is the Johnson 18 a good boat for leisurely, romantic sailing on
lazy warm afternoons?
A: Grasshopper. The answer to every question is, it depends. Who is
your partner? Good partner: yes.
Q: Can I singlehand this boat?
A: Yes. In less than 15 knots of wind. Or less than 20 knots. Or
less than 30 knots.
Q: How technical is rigging and sailing a Johnson 18?
A: Not. If you're a sailor. Or have an IQ of more than 80.
Q: Doesn't the lack of a transom get you very wet?
A: Grasshopper. The answer to every question is, it depends.
Sometimes.
Q: Where are there active Johnson 18 fleets?
A: The largest, only known, coolest, best, finest, fleet is in
Annapolis, Maryland.
Q: How much do Johnson 18s cost?
A: Grasshopper....
SKEPTIC CYBER-SHOPPER
Q: With 500 other One-Design classes to choose from, why the Johnson
18?
A: Because every other class sucks in some significant way that the
J18 overcomes.
Q: What does the Johnson 18 Class Association offer?
A: In Annapolis, groovy guys to hang out with. Other places, e-mail
suggests possibly groovy guys.
Q: If I'm a serious racer, shouldn't I get a boat with a larger class?
A: See above. 500 other OD classes - what larger class? (Laser?
Pheh!)
Q: Is spinnaker...
...too big?
NO
... too small?
Probably Not. Maybe
... too complicated?
See above. IQ > 80?
... no good for sailing dead-downwind?
Assymetric. Duh.
Q: Aren't there comparable boats for cheaper?
A: You assume "comparable". There is no " comparable".
Q: I've heard racing sailors from other classes say that the Johnson
18 is underpowered.
A: Death to the infidels. Nonsense on stilts.
Oh, wait. The Buddha would say... Grasshopper, the answer to
every....
Q: I've also heard them say the Johnson 18 is too heavy.
A: Too heavy for what? That's a pretty funny question coming from an
American. Aren't you all really fat?
Q: With no trapeze, doesn't it take a lot of weight to be competitive?
A: No. As Karen Carpenter would say, less weight is better.
OTHER J-18 SAILOR
Q: Where'd you get your sails?
A: I used the leg hair of 80-year-old men to weave the fabric, and
sewed the sails with the tail fur from road-kill cats, woven into
thread.
Q: Did you steal my plugs?
A: Dang! Busted. How'd you know it was me, dude?
Q: Can I get a beer?
A: Dude! You owe me six from 13 weeks ago. Don't you remember?
derek mckesson
Aug 18, 2009, 10:56:58 AM8/18/09
to johnson-18...@googlegroups.com
Brilliant!! and all so true, except the beer thingy, have two built in now that I use a spin sock, works so trick!
> Date: Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:39:56 -0700
> Subject: [johnson-18] Re: Answer the FAQs.
> From: marc...@gmail.com
> To: johnson-18...@googlegroups.com
> Date: Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:39:56 -0700
> Subject: [johnson-18] Re: Answer the FAQs.
> From: marc...@gmail.com
> To: johnson-18...@googlegroups.com
PPYC
Aug 18, 2009, 9:31:57 PM8/18/09
to Johnson 18 One Design -2009
Dude! Can we get a picture of the sock???!!!! Does it look like the
Red Hot Chili Peppers crossing Abby Road!?!???!!! I had to douse and
jibe back for our cooler on the last sail! I would love another
option other than the cooler rolling around the sole of the boat.
On Aug 18, 7:56 am, derek mckesson <dbmckes...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Brilliant!! and all so true, except the beer thingy, have two built in now that I use a spin sock, works so trick!
>
>
>
> > Date: Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:39:56 -0700
> > Subject: [johnson-18] Re: Answer the FAQs.
> > From: marcan...@gmail.com
> _________________________________________________________________
> Hotmail® is up to 70% faster. Now good news travels really fast.http://windowslive.com/online/hotmail?ocid=PID23391::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:...
Red Hot Chili Peppers crossing Abby Road!?!???!!! I had to douse and
jibe back for our cooler on the last sail! I would love another
option other than the cooler rolling around the sole of the boat.
On Aug 18, 7:56 am, derek mckesson <dbmckes...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Brilliant!! and all so true, except the beer thingy, have two built in now that I use a spin sock, works so trick!
>
>
>
> > Date: Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:39:56 -0700
> > Subject: [johnson-18] Re: Answer the FAQs.
> Hotmail® is up to 70% faster. Now good news travels really fast.http://windowslive.com/online/hotmail?ocid=PID23391::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:...
derek mckesson
Aug 18, 2009, 10:48:29 PM8/18/09
to johnson-18...@googlegroups.com
Yes, will send pix next week when back home, had it buit by Mariner sails out of Dallas, to my design, works great, so well that we capsized her last weekend in BF5 conditions! Will post many pix and explanations soon,thx!
> Date: Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:31:57 -0700
> Date: Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:31:57 -0700
> Subject: [johnson-18] Re: Answer the FAQs.
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