21st century headstones

[Kerry Swartz]

I was speaking with the Lorne Raber, President of the Winnipeg Chevra
Kadisha today on a personal matter (he also owns a Memorial business)
and told me of new product his company is offering:

http://www.globalnational.com/high-tech+headstones/6442627872/story.html

Curious about other's reactions.

[Aptaker]

I like it. It's not disrespectful of the deceased. It's very low
profile. It's not a controversial symbol. And there's nothing in the
halacha that says no QR codes on the headstones.
I was at the American Cemetery in Normandy, France, last summer. It
would have been great to be able to see the bio of some of the young
boys and men as I wandered the grounds.
If our goal is remembrance, there's no better way than through
pictures/stories/video, especially after other members of the
deceased's family themselves are gone and there's no one left to tell
one's story.
On the downside, a cemetery could start to feel like a museum with
those audio/video boxes at each exhibit, and if everyone at the
cemetery were walking around, interacting with their iPads/smart
phones it would feel like...the 21st century.
Rich Aptaker

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[Rabbi Joe Blair]

Hmmmm. Somehow this strikes a wrong chord with me. 

Those who can afford/have the tech abilities/skills/resources can have this, others not. Feels like a distinction in death. Makes me think of the image of overhearing something like, "That family has a way to connect to their family member's memory that is all glitzy and fancy. Look here -THIS family has nothing of the kind (and in a whisper) they must be poor, or not have cared much." Somehow icky, and a transgression of the rabbinic holdings that we are all equal in death, and the poor are not to be made to feel worse for their losses.  

I also can't help but think about how fast techie gadgets go out of fashion. I can imagine this as if it had been eight track tapes a while back, or Beta format videos. In five years no one may be using this and it is worthless to have on a headstone. What happens when the glue holding the tag fails, or the tag becomes unreadable? Will people start etching the QR onto the stone?  

More to the point, how long and who will pay for and maintain the websites? How many ads will creep onto them? Will these website pages become just another form of unvisited graveyard, populated by the virtual ghosts of the digitized dead? 

My initial reactions.... 

Joe 

____________________________________
              Rabbi Joe Blair
         rabb...@hotmail.com

    925-272-8563 [925-2-RAV-JOE] 

http://www.JewishValuesOnline.org
____________________________________

[Kerry Swartz]

I think it's an interesting idea and possibly a sensitive way to help remember people who may not have much family when they passed but had a rich and interesting past. One of the first things I was did with the Vancouver Chevra was participate as a pallbearer and/or in unveiling Minyanim for seniors who had been shut-ins or just lacked family. One morning we had four consecutive unveilings, three of which were for Survivors. In most of the cases there was a sibling or son/daughter present but that was it. You'd like to know more but often the situation doesn't allow for it.
Combine this technology with some historical society research, sites like Ancestry, Jewish Gen online and it could become part of a Chevra's offering in honoring the deceased. A little plate on the side of the marker could be very unobtrusive.

Aptaker

April 26, 2012 6:02 am

I like it. It's not disrespectful of the deceased. It's very low profile. It's not a controversial symbol.  And there's nothing in the halacha that says no QR codes on the headstones.
I was at the American Cemetery in Normandy, France, last summer. It would have been great to be able to see the bio of some of the young boys and men as I wandered the grounds.
If our goal is remembrance, there's no better way than through pictures/stories/video, especially after other members of the deceased's family themselves are gone and there's no one left to tell one's story.
On the downside, a cemetery could start to feel like a museum with those audio/video boxes at each exhibit, and if everyone at the cemetery were walking around, interacting with their iPads/smart phones it would feel like...the 21st century.
Rich Aptaker

On Apr 26, 2012, at 12:37 AM, Kerry Swartz wrote:

Kerry Swartz

April 26, 2012 12:37 am

[cil...@comcast.net]

I think it's a cool idea.

Susan

------------------------------------------------
Read my mind at www.kissamezuzah.blogspot.com

---

From: "Kerry Swartz" <kerry....@gmail.com>
To: "jewish-funerals" <jewish-...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2012 12:37:28 AM
Subject: [jewish-funerals] 21st century headstones

[imb...@yahoo.com]

Rabbi Joe does make,a few valid points!!! Thanks for the insight!

Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

-----Original message-----

[Laurie Dinerstein-Kurs]

I happen to agree totally with Joe's take on the situation.

When I have officiated at a funeral,  I gather information about the decesased, and I include family members names, and if any are buried in that same cemetery I include the plot #'s and other pertininet details such as family relationship.  I plce the inormation page on a nice folder, and I give copies to all family member present. They are free to add any comments, memories or such on the back page.  If they felt so moved..they could add photos.  Ity is somethiung in hand, with all the "details" and they are free toi keepo it , hand it down to the next generation, use it as a guide to find where other members are, etc.  I guess they could even then put it onto the computer on a family memorial page.

Laurie D-K

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Rabbi Joe Blair

Sent: 04/26/12 10:54 AM

To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com

[Penny Wolin]

Dear Chevra,

There is unfortunately a distinction between those that embrace technology and those who do not. But this is the normal progression of time and generation. Now, we have  gas-driven machines that dig our graves into neat rectangular holes in the earth. We didn't used to have that. Now, we have a roller apparatus with brakes that lowers the casket into the ground. We didn't have that either. We didn't have bio-hazard precautions, monsel's solution or running water in our cemeteries. We consider these good things now but I can imagine a time when we were skeptical of the new technology. If the intention is proper and if a QR code helps a mourner connect with the soul of a loved one, how can we discount a technology that most certainly will be as embedded into our lives as a ball point pen?

--

Penny Wolin

Chevra Kadisha of Sonoma County

"To Honor the Dead and Strengthen the Living"

http://www.sonomajewishburial.org

[Saul Guberman]

On Thu, Apr 26, 2012 at 10:54, Rabbi Joe Blair <rabb...@hotmail.com> wrote:

Hmmmm. Somehow this strikes a wrong chord with me. 

Those who can afford/have the tech abilities/skills/resources can have this, others not. Feels like a distinction in death. Makes me think of the image of overhearing something like, "That family has a way to connect to their family member's memory that is all glitzy and fancy. Look here -THIS family has nothing of the kind (and in a whisper) they must be poor, or not have cared much." Somehow icky, and a transgression of the rabbinic holdings that we are all equal in death, and the poor are not to be made to feel worse for their losses.  

Why is this any worse than fancier headstones, masoleums or perpetual care.  Not everyone has the same kind of grave.  I would think that cemeteries and/or funeral homes will maintain websites; just like they do now for virtual memory areas.   It is another way for them to stay in peoples mind for when the need arises.  Just like the calendars and yahrzeit books.

Saul

[Sandy Lassen]

I also agree with Rabbi Blair.  I do not think that Rabbi Gamliel would have approved of this as it is most definitely a way of distinguishing between the “haves and have nots.”  I applaud technology for coming up with something like this, but I do not feel that it belongs in a cemetery.

 

Sandy Lassen

Executive Director

Shir Chadash Conservative Congregation

3737 W. Esplanade Ave N

Metairie, Louisiana  70002

504-889-1144

 

From: jewish-...@googlegroups.com [mailto:jewish-...@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of Rabbi Joe Blair
Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2012 9:54 AM
To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: [jewish-funerals] 21st century headstones

 

Hmmmm. Somehow this strikes a wrong chord with me. 

[Sandra Ottenberg]

After reading all the responses I do agree with all of them and take back my first response.  At first I thought it was cool to have the info on the stone but forgot I have no way to read the info as I do not own a smart phone. 

Sandy O

[Ilene Rubenstein]

I don't think the real issue is the technology. Although I can't argue with the point of how quickly technology becomes obsolete, QR tags would be so unobtrusive that I don't think attention would be immediately called in a way  that would lead to distinguishing between the rich and the poor. And I do think it would be lovely to be able to have access to a person's legacy. When I first read about this, my thoughts were of how nice it would be to know the stories of the people from the triangle fire and other, often forgotten souls, buried by the Hebrew Free Burial Association. A recent talk I heard by Amy Koplow, the Association's Executive Director showed how remarkable some of their stories had been. I suppose it would also be nice if there was some central archive where these videos, pictures, etc. could be stored so they would be accessible in the future even if the technology changed.

I think the real issue is whether we should be taking Rav Gamliel's teachings a step further. Maybe being buried in tachrichim and plain pine boxes isn't enough. Maybe we need a similar consensus regarding headstones that would be in keeping with principles of modesty and simplicity.

---

From: Sandy Lassen <sa...@shirchadash.org>
To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2012 3:10 PM
Subject: RE: [jewish-funerals] 21st century headstones

I also agree with Rabbi Blair.  I do not think that Rabbi Gamliel would have approved of this as it is most definitely a way of distinguishing between the “haves and have nots.”  I applaud technology for coming up with something like this, but I do not feel that it belongs in a cemetery.

 

Sandy Lassen

Executive Director

Shir Chadash Conservative Congregation

3737 W. Esplanade Ave N

Metairie, Louisiana  70002

504-889-1144

 

From: jewish-...@googlegroups.com [mailto:jewish-...@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of Rabbi Joe Blair
Sent: Thursday, April 26, 2012 9:54 AM
To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: [jewish-funerals] 21st century headstones

 

Hmmmm. Somehow this strikes a wrong chord with me. 

 

Those who can afford/have the tech abilities/skills/resources can have this, others not. Feels like a distinction in death. Makes me think of the image of overhearing something like, "That family has a way to connect to their family member's memory that is all glitzy and fancy. Look here -THIS family has nothing of the kind (and in a whisper) they must be poor, or not have cared much." Somehow icky, and a transgression of the rabbinic holdings that we are all equal in death, and the poor are not to be made to feel worse for their losses.  

 

I also can't help but think about how fast techie gadgets go out of fashion. I can imagine this as if it had been eight track tapes a while back, or Beta format videos. In five years no one may be using this and it is worthless to have on a headstone. What happens when the glue holding the tag fails, or the tag becomes unreadable? Will people start etching the QR onto the stone?  

 

More to the point, how long and who will pay for and maintain the websites? How many ads will creep onto them? Will these website pages become just another form of unvisited graveyard, populated by the virtual ghosts of the digitized dead? 

 

My initial reactions.... 

 

Joe 

____________________________________
              Rabbi Joe Blair
         rabb...@hotmail.com

    925-272-8563 [925-2-RAV-JOE] 

http://www.JewishValuesOnline.orgg
____________________________________

 

 

 

 

On Thu, Apr 26, 2012 at 3:37 AM, Kerry Swartz <kerry....@gmail.com> wrote:

I was speaking with the Lorne Raber, President of the Winnipeg  Chevra
Kadisha today on a personal matter (he also owns a Memorial business)
and told me of new product his company is offering:

http://www.globalnational.com/high-tech+headstones/6442627872/story.html

Curious about other's reactions.

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[julie strothman]

I like the idea of cemeteries hosting a website where loved ones can post biographies. Cemetery maps could include the QR codes, and these online biographies could be open to everyone with a plot. Such profiles could also be created for people who died long ago. I far prefer this use of technology to placing what will doubtless be an ephemeral technology on headstones intended to be eternal.