Inventor seeking product patent procedure
Paul Wharton
that could lead to great profit for myself. Unfortunately, I am
totally ignorant of the field of patent law and how to go about
securing product idea rights. Just last night, in fact, I thought of
*three* new products that could probably make me millions on the
global market if I knew what to do with my designs. To show that I
would not be a waste of time of a professional patent manager (or
whatever the go-between name for that role's place is called), I will
reveal the latest of a string of productive idea sequences that are
typical of me.
Product #1: Koranyatas
This invention takes cheap, muslim, whole books (called Korans) and
grinds them up into rough paper mache. Then the dirty trash is
reformed into Mexican-style "pinyatas". I have conceived of a good
marketing strategy that I shall not disclose at this time, in the hope
that I'll still be able to make alot of money off this industrial idea
of Capitalism, too.
Product #2: Koreenex
This product of Paul Wharton's greed takes used, useless (meaning, in
actuality, all) Korans, shreds them up to a finer degree of pulp than
the Koranyata, productive process. Then, the plant paper is
refashioned into a useful product of Western society. We will be
competing with a brand of a similar name (one I may not legally be
allowed to use here--I'm just not sure about the law).
Product #3: Koranic Paper
By now you may have the concept down. I seek to take a useless, (and,
in this case, something that happens to not just have no value, but
lead to destructiveness, too), product, and process what, in the case
of this matter source--the common theme, of which, is paper trash with
some ink smeared on it--turning what had no value except its
potential, which I have now appreciated, then reforming the matter
into a positive product of Western industry that, I, Paul Wharton, a
Captain of this entrepreneurial endeavor, command. Koranic Paper is
basically Koran matter (paper pulp) synthesized with some softer
fibers to improve the product quality. I can market my invention in
every country of the world that does not exclude my economic
advances. While I profit from individuals wiping their asses with my
cheap good, I can probably make a shit load of money off of this one,
too.
Paul Wharton
Legitimate Government Ally
Paul Wharton
> Product #3: �Koranic Paper
> By now you may have the concept down. �I seek to take a useless, (and,
> in this case, something that happens to not just have no value, but
> lead to destructiveness, too), product, and process what, in the case
> of this matter source--the common theme, of which, is paper trash with
> some ink smeared on it--turning what had no value except its
> potential, which I have now appreciated, then reforming the matter
> into a positive product of Western industry that, I, Paul Wharton, a
> Captain of this entrepreneurial endeavor, command. �Koranic Paper is
> basically Koran matter (paper pulp) synthesized with some softer
> fibers to improve the product quality. �I can market my invention in
> every country of the world that does not exclude my economic
> advances. �While I profit from individuals wiping their asses with my
> cheap good, I can probably make a shit load of money off of this one,
> too.
>
I have been preoccupied with some philosophical banter with the muslim
world. But, I'd like to get back to my economic ideas, now. I have
thought of a better name for the above #3 product concept that I have
invented. If it is not already taken, I'd like to call it Koroilet
Paper. I am currently seeking investment backing. I'd like to
control the company. But, I'm very lenient on the ownership
percentage beyond that. To sweeten the deal for prospective partners,
I will reveal some of my industrial ideas here.
Raw Material
In analyzing my Koroilet Paper micro-economic dynamic, it is really
the input of raw material for the processing of the matter of our
goods into commercial form that is the limiting factor in the long
run. I know some of you are saying that I could just produce my own
koran factories to supply us, long after the War on Islam is over.
But, that is just something that I refuse to do. The raw material for
our pulp refineries must come from outside sources.
The War Factor
So long as America seeks to disarm korans from the muslims in the
Middle East, there will be a steady, and (at least initially) high
volume supply of unrefined, raw materials being shipped to our
industrial facilities. We could even rent discount oil tankers to
carry a highly concentrated percentage of our supplies, as: (1) there
will be less international oil flowing, due to war; and, (2) The who
(lie) books should be durable enough to weather the transit.
Domestic Material Supply
This Koroilet Paper business is going to be built from the ground up.
Thus, if we can think of any way to locally facilitate early profits,
it should be done. There are a significant number of muslims who
possess one or more of the who(lie) books, domestically. I happen to
know that Michigan has more muslims, percentage wise, than any other
state. If we were to position our headquarters centrally that is at
least somewhat close to this early raw material source, yet still has
international port accessibility, then we could grow optimally in both
the long-run, as well as short. I choose St. Louis, Missouri, as our
headquarters. That way we are reasonably close to Michigan, and also
have big enough shipping lanes to access the Gulf of Mexico, via New
Orleans.
koran Recycling Incentives
I am confident that if we market my product well enough (I have
several really good ideas), we can tap into the spend-thrift nature of
many Americans that may have a type of retentive, (I'll try to omit
the crude adjective), anger at the islamic totalitarians of the world
that have made this century quite miserable so far. Other customers
may find creative ways to consume large quantities of our widget, such
as by burning it, or throwing it over trees, as is a common prank in
our country. With what many naysayers may call an unrealistic profit
optimism debunked, I'd like to share with, who I hope are some
prospective investors, a strategy of attracting the bits of domestic
raw material to Missouri, that do already exist so close to the
planned factory grounds. We could place a per koran price on each who
(lie) book similar to how government so inappropriately pressures
aluminum recycling, but in a good, truly voluntary, business way.
Each koran could be bought for, say, 50 cents, which though may sound
low to book sellers, might not be so bad for a muslim in our economy
that islam has helped create. To really encourage shipment, we could
pay out a dollar to all korans from Michigan. This would be
economical, as there is a higher percentage of who(lie) books in that
area, and with that kind of deal, we will encourage specialized
suppliers who will help us to get enough pulp early on; because by
trading with us, they make some good money.
Paul Wharton
Atheist Business Prospector