Traffic Considerations for the Super Bowl in Houston
George Kerby
"Hue-stun." Oh, and it is pronounced "San Phal-ee-pay" not "San Phil-eep"
(San Felipe).
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own
version of traffic rules ... Hold on and pray! There is no such thing as a
dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610 ..." which has no
beginning and no end.
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 A.M. to 10:00 A.M. The evening rush
hour is from 3:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
morning.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed
out, and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line,
count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into
any cross traffic's way.
7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.
8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a
permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in
Pasadena !"
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory
defect.
11. All METRO buses have total right-of-way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 MPH.
13. The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.
14. Never stare at the driver of a car with the bumper sticker that says,
"Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 MPH in the 60 MPH zone,
people are not waving when they go by.
16. The Sam Houston Toll Road is our daily version of NASCAR.
17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.
19. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway. Just follow the
ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how
Houston residents notify the Texas Department of Transportation where the
exits should have been built.
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Xeno Chauvin
"George Kerby" <ghost_...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:BBD8F753.259F1%ghost_...@hotmail.com...
Very concise instructions George.
No, if we could just get the City to hand them out
to the "multitude" expected for this
spurious event all would be well?
Xeno
jjp
> "Hue-stun."
Euston is a big Tube stop in London.
> Oh, and it is pronounced "San Phal-ee-pay" not "San Phil-eep"
> (San Felipe).
> 2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own
> version of traffic rules ... Hold on and pray! There is no such thing as a
> dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
This is somewhat true. Also, everyone runs red lights.
> 3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610 ..." which has no
> beginning and no end.
> 4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive."
Maybe they used to... not anymore. They're actually starting to be conerned
with important stuff.
> 5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 A.M. to 10:00 A.M. The evening rush
> hour is from 3:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
> morning.
> 6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed
> out, and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line,
> count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting
into
> any cross traffic's way.
This is true.
> 7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.
> 8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a
> permanent form of entertainment.
True, and true.
> 9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in
> Pasadena !"
Or Pasadena's air blew this way today...
> 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory
> defect.
I HATE this about Houston. I always use my signal. I'm starting to see them
used more lately...
> 11. All METRO buses have total right-of-way.
> 12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 MPH.
Not if you're by the Galleria area -- this is impossible because there are
cars EVERYWHERE.
> 13. The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.
Some parts of town definitely need to be avoided.
> 14. Never stare at the driver of a car with the bumper sticker that says,
> "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
Don't think I've seen one of those...
> 15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 MPH in the 60 MPH zone,
> people are not waving when they go by.
> 16. The Sam Houston Toll Road is our daily version of NASCAR.
> 17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
> 18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.
> 19. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway. Just follow
the
> ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how
> Houston residents notify the Texas Department of Transportation where the
> exits should have been built.
I'm thinking this list is probably somewhat dated...