Why Do Optimists Worry?
Think_n_See
I've actually been very interested in this recently. Do you guys have
some ideas? Why it is that optimists expect the best in the future, by
definition, but still have times when they worry? It's normal; I'm
just asking why?
Here are some possible reasons:
* Worry isn't an indicator of pessimism. It's an indicator of
planning. Worry is like a chess game - wanting to plan out several
moves in advance. In case life throws some worrisome events at you...
it may just be that optimists want to know that they can have a plan B.
* Optimists expect the best based on having run through some scenarios
of possibilities (and some of those scenarios include worry). If
optimists didn't worry, they may be naive well-wishers rather than
planned-out happiness-seekers.
Other thoughts? Disputatins of these?
Thank you.
Atomic-ideas
never hold myself to something unswayingly; I mean I myself when I hear
something I didn't expect about myself, look upon myself and see if its
true and what to do rather than denying it.
Also, people tend to like optimists rather than pessimists, but most
people don't like fools. We do what we need to to maintain an order of
balance.
-Tom
da5zeay
planning.
Some kinds of worry is irrational and/or conditioned. If we were made
to feel bad about something in the past, we'll certainly be less apt to
put ourselves in the same situation. Pushing past that is a sign of
being optimistic!
Some worries ARE rational...you may have looked at the numbers, or
measured yourself against the competition, and have come to the
conclusion that the odds are not in your favor. If you're optimistic,
you might do it anyway if the personal risk is not high (like doing it
for the experience or the training). If you're not optimistic, you just
won't do it.
Maybe one way of being optimistic is being able to see the silver
lining in everything, and having flexible goals. It's easy to be
successful if you can redefine your goals on-the-fly :-) However, there
ARE situations where you really just have to pit yourself against
something large and maybe intimidating, or where there IS a large sense
of personal risk (physically, emotionally, fiscally, socially).
Another factor is optimism is fueled by a feeling of well-being. It's
hard to be optimistic when you're feeling really down, or life is
handing you really dry lemons. That's when the worries can become
overwhelming, magnified by mood. An optimist can recognize that and
trigger something else to counter it, if it's all just slushy brain
chemicals telling you that anyway.
Perhaps optimists also feel they always have a choice...if they're
stuck on an n-dimensional space, they'll just move to an
(n+1)-dimension that allows them to move around it. Pessimists feel
blocked or denied.
I've always wanted to believe I could do anything for as long as I
could remember, but I used to worry a lot too. Still do, actually, but
the foundation of my optimism these days is knowing that I can make new
things and new ideas, and I know what I can contribute now relative to
other people. When I was much younger, I defined myself in terms of an
imperfect knowledge of people and procedures, and always seemed to fall
short. Now I tend to define myself in terms of myself, and if other
people are jerks about it it doesn't bother me as much because I'll n+1
them :-)
One thing I've been thinking about alot myself is how optimism relates
to competition and competitive spirit.
Think_n_See
>lining in everything, and having flexible goals. It's easy to be
>successful if you can redefine your goals on-the-fly :-)
Barry Schwartz (http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bschwar1/), author of
"The Paradox of Choice: When More is Less," say that the key to
happiness is expectations management. What you're describing - having
flexible goals - sounds a lot like expectations management. Also,
Barry has a very interesting point of view on how much effort to exert
to make great decisions, and he talks about satisficing - finding the
best possible option within the range of possibilites, but not going
overboard on the search for opportunities itself.
Atomic-ideas
a really big quantum one that is(due to the reasoning of other
scientists and the study of quantum physics and quantum computers). Now
if that is true then we are all just programs that have set functions
and will do the same thing everytime. This means we really don't have a
choice and that everything we due is based on stimuli and your own
complex code.
I see an optimist as one who would look past this and say, maybe its
not right, or there is so much more that it is really different just
appears that way.
An optimist on the other hand would say, yep there is no point in
anything I do because its already pre-determined so there is no point
in anything.
I myself see it as most likely true, but I look for other ideas still
and think that, even if I am pre-set I can still be happy and have fun
and explore and learn what my pre-set future is :).
I see a pessimist as a person that when a certain door (or more) is
closed in their life (such as losing a limb) that it is what it is or
that more doors must be shut. Whereas an optimist will look at that and
say, "I won't take this", and he will try to open new doors to replace
the old ones (such as participating in special olympics rather than
normal olympics).
It goes along with what da5zeay and Think_n_See said about flexible
goals. The pessimist lets those goals go if they go and the optimist
changes to adapt.
-Tom
da5zeay
Hey, that's cool! When I was formulating my personal theories of video
game design years and years ago, I also coined the phrase "expectation
management" as being critical for creating a game world that, from the
eyes of the player, allowed no more and no less than what would be fun
to do. In other words, you don't want to introduce an element into the
game that makes you want to do something that you can't. At the same
time, you don't want to have the number of elements so few that the
world seems finite and boring. So expectation management, from the game
designer's perspective, was to carefully control not only the number of
choices at any given time, but the APPEARANCE of choices for the
maximum enjoyment of the player. Too many choices and the player loses
track of what to do. Too few choices and the player is bored. If the
game environment implies that there should be a choice that doesn't
exist, the player is frustrated. If the choices don't appear to lead
somewhere, then the player feels ripped off and loses interest.
It strikes me that this is very compatible with what Barry Schwarz is
saying, excpet we're in the position of the player. WHen you are the
player AND the game designer, then that's like being serious about
pursuing happiness. One challenge of being both player and game
designer is actually making a game that IS challenging and fun...that's
called "game balance", and it strikes me that this is similar to life
balance.
Wow, I am a nerd :-)
da5zeay
pre-deterministic computing system. If that's the case, I could see
being optimistic because since everything's predetermined, then that
takes a lot of the pressure off :-)
Think_n_See
> When you are the player AND the game designer,
> then that's like being serious about pursuing happiness.
pursuing happiness!
http://groups.google.com/group/happinessgroup/browse_thread/thread/93cfca6a96387300/#
Atomic-ideas,
> I see an optimist as one who would look past this and say, maybe its
> not right, or there is so much more that it is really different just
> appears that way.
When I was a kid, I heard a phrase that I really like: "if you find two
similar situations, look for their differences, not their
similarities." I liked it because it implies that there is so much out
there to learn (I know I sound a little wide-eyed with this phrase, but
so what?!). There is so much out there that can be NEW. And that's
even more interesting than that they are potential learning
opportunities - they are NEW. So fun.
da5zeay
da5zeay
similarities."
The flipside of that is when you have two really different things, then
it's interesting to look for the similarities instead of just
acknowledging the differences.
Think_n_See
-----------------------------------------------
Professor Julie Norem of Wellsley, author of "The Positive Power of
Negative Thinking," says that there are not just two states of the
world - optimism and pessimism. Norem argues that those labels are
subcateogries of the anxiety state that a person is in when that person
needs ot accomplish something.
Norem says there are two states:
A) Non-Anxious State
B) Anxious State
"Strategic Optimists," as Norem calls them, are people that are not
anxious about the past and not anxious about the future. She also
points out that sometimes in order to be not anxious about the future,
the strategic optimists need to set "non-anxiety" as a goal in their
head.
In the anxious state, Norem agrees wit many psychologists that there
are debilitating states of anxiety, and she calls this past-based
aniety (e.g.: "I've never been able to do this before, so I won't be
able to do this now"), and Norem calls these folds "Dispositional
Pessimists." These are the people often labeled "Pessimists" in the
studies about positive and negative thinking.
However, Norem says there is a healthy state of pessimism, "Defensive
Pessimism," during which people are in an anxious state about the
future and can overcome that anxiety enough to achieve their goals
(e.g. "What if the plane is late, and what if the conference has
already started, and what if the room is too dim for my presentation
slides?"). Norem says that defensive pessimists (maybe subconsciously)
set as a goal "not running away" in their head. So for defensive
pessimists, running those worst-case scenarios through their heads
actually gives them specifics to think about so that they don't give in
to the anxiety but rather use it in a healthy way to achieve their
goals.
Norem says that there are two more types of people in another category
of being in an anxious state about the future and not being able to
overcome it. She calls these people "Self-Handicappers" if they put
obstacles in their own way in order to not get the goal done and
"Avoiders" if they just don't do things in response to the anxious
state.
Finally, in a fun comment, the author of this article says that many
people in Taiwan happen to lean culturally towards being Defensive
Pessimists over being Strategic Optimists, and that Norem's book sold
espeically well in Taiwan, under the title "I'm a Pessimist But I
Achieve."
All of the above is from this article:
http://magazine.uchicago.edu/0210/features/worst-print.html
da5zeay
see that! I wonder if it's because Taiwan was a country constantly
being conquered by other countries...my parent were born when Taiwan
had been a colony of Japan for 40-something year, then after WWII was
re-colonized by the Chinese under hostile circumstances, who then
imposed martial law for the next 40 years. Then the government lost
recognition of the international community, and now live under the
general threat of invasion from Communist China which is just about 100
miles away, with no more guaranteed protection of the U.S. 7th Fleet.
Being optimistic under such conditions much be a full time job! Not as
bad, though, as the Middle East... I wonder what the state of optimism
is over there...
Now that I think of it, I often think in terms of worst case scenarios
rather than best case...never thought about that in terms of optimism!
I'm going to try to change that (oops, I said try...hard habit to
break! :-)
da5zeay
grammar like my Dad does sometimes :-)
da5zeay
What are some things an optimist tells themselves to not worry? Or do
they just not think that?
Maybe that's what the defensive pesimists tell themselves!
Here's some things that come to mind:
* Hey, it's unlikely to actually KILL you! And you might learn
something!
* One step at a time does yield results!
* You have people who love and support you, so you might as well try to
succeed!
* The first person you should not let down is yourself.
* Retreat under fire is wise, not cowardly! Live to fight another day!
What would an optimist say?
Atomic-ideas
*WEEEE lets go get blown up because I won't die!!!!
*I don't let anyone down!
*Nothing can stand in my way exspecially with all my support!
*One step at a time and it will be done!
*It won't kill me (it's just draggin me into its cave to let me stay
and have tea...yeah thats it).