Happiness... is having both the dark and the bright emotions

[hikean...@yahoo.com]

Sometimes I wish that I could just be happy, just be enjoying life all
the time, but then I get into these dark downward loops sometimes....

And you know what?! They're ok!
Sometimes - and this blows me away - you have to get through crying
hugely intently about something before you can get to laughing
horrificaly at it! And it takes so much out of you - to go through
that spiral. But there is something about life that it is necessary
for you to go through that spiral.

But really, they don't feel ok while they're going on - they just feel
so unwieldy, and so dark, and so endless....
But just towards the end, as they start to feel better and stronger and
more calming and cathartic, and it's good,

...and you can go to bed earlier than usual, and you can be more
meditative than usual, and you know things can go along the right path
...one day....

I think so much of life is saying, "YES, I'VE FACED THIS TYPE OF THING
BEFORE, which means that I AM CONQUERING THIS THING RIGHT NOW." That
little confidence - it happens when you wobble on a bike and don't fall
off, and then stay steady a little longer the following time before
wobbling, and then even longer the following time, and then you no
longer wobble. Every little piece makes it more and more confident and
clearer. It's a good thing!

Happy Day after XMAS! :)