How You Being Selfish Can Make Others Happy

[Think_n_See]

"There are selfish reasons to behave in altruistic ways," says [Greg]
Easterbrook. "Research shows that people who are grateful, optimistic
and forgiving have better experiences with their lives, more happiness,
fewer strokes and higher incomes. If it makes world a better place at
same time, this is a real bonus."

Easterbrook is the author of "The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets
Better While People Feel Worse."
>From the article: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,186216,00.html

[CarmenSunshine]

Makes sense to me. I make a point of taking good care of myself first,
since in doing that I am better able to give full attention to others.

If my needs are not met I tend to get pouty, resentful and mean!

[da5zeay]

I think of it as making myself strong so I can be a source of strength
when I need to be. And I think that being generous with one's strength
(altruism) does come back and help you.

I was thinking on the car drive back from Boston today while listening
to the news about a bunch of politicians doing jerky corrupt things in
their respective countries. The thought was about being "militantly
happy", or "activist happy". Like, the good guy who stands up for
someone being made unhappy by a group, taking a stand for happiness!
Being a kind of happiness leader.

I'd like to be a happiness leader, strong and resolute, providing a
base where the pursuit of happiness can florish. If someone was to
deliberately try to take that away, what would the correct response be?
This is sort of related to being altruistic, except in a competitive
situation or conflict of interest.

[Think_n_See]

CarmenSunshine, what do you do to make sure that you're taking good
care of yourself first? Do you schedule time consciously? Or is it
more of a feeling when you have enough alone time and enough together
time with people?

da5zeay, what do you do to make yourself strong? It sounds like you
believe in "psychological capital," which relates to the idea that if
you build up good feelings (grow the psychological capital), then you
can draw on it later as strengths when you need to for other life
situations.

[da5zeay]

tns: I do believe in psychological capital (didn't know that it was
called that). I also believe in learning things, acquiring skills and
abilities, new experiences, and asking people about their lives so I'm
"prepared" for a variety of situations. I also believe in developing
confidence in my ability to get through things, in my knowledge, to
face difficult choices and make them with my eyes wide open and for the
best reasons I can. I believe that I should be able to look back at any
decision I've made or any plan of action I've followed and think, "yes,
that is the way it happened, and I am fine with it." Also to be
confident when I don't know something too, because that's important
knowledge in itself. I can't possibly know everything or be prepared
for everything, but I can be smart about making do with what I do have.

So that's where I draw my strength from, I think. When I'm successful
at following through with all that, I feel like I'm doing the right
thing for me and the people around me. This isn't quite the same as
feeling good, but I do find it satisfying and reassuring. The
psychological capital (as in good feelings) comes from responses to
things I do or make, and maybe people who appreciate me for the way I
am.