Padded Cell for Hairpin Wedding Planners

[Colleen McGraw]

Hey! SO! Wedding planning making you cray? got ideas/frustrations/
questions bursting out of you at any given moment? want to ask some of
the classiest broads you know about their thoughts?

Yeah! ME TOO! SAME!

So if anyone sees this, chime in and share whatever is on your mind.

I'm currently in a bit of a peaceful lull, because we finally decided
that we couldn't/didn't want to afford a traditional wedding, so we're
doing two phases: phase 1 is an intimate ceremony with direct family
and a handful of friends in my sister's back yard this fall (this is
where we'll officially be married). phase 2 is a more inclusive
ceremony (come one! come all!) on the beach in Costa Rica where he
proposed. The stress of thinking about the dollar amounts associated
with a wedding blew my mind, and although it may be more work to do it
DIY, it's a type of work I enjoy and it won't stress me nearly as
much. AHHHHHH, back to feeling sane after that decision.

anyone else?

[parallel-lines]

HIIIIIII (parallel-lines here)--we're getting married on July 29 at a
resort in upstate NY. After looking and planning and working hard to
try to make the traditional wedding thing happen, it did, but after a
few mental breakdowns and crying over money and all the headache
around it I sort of wish it hadn't. If we didn't have so many
contracts signed I would have cancelled it all and went to city hall.
So don't feel bad about the two phase thing - unless you really have
the appetite for planning and DIY (good god I never want to hear that
work again) and trawling through a million stylemepretty-esque wedding
blogs looking at other people's $30K "budget" weddings, it's
definitely the best way to go. I really wish I had known what I was
getting into.

I'm currently in the freakout over planning decor/finding music/
figuring out the details portion of planning where everything is
supposed to be so symbolic of your love and so meaningful and I'm
sorta like, whatever, who cares? I think they call this burn out...

[Colleen McGraw]

Yeah, I hear you on the difficulties with traditional weddings. We
really budgeted it down, and the lowest we could feasbly make it was
8-9k, which (even with the guilt-laced financial help his mother
wanted to give us, since the cost of the wedding is supposed to be the
responsibility of my 70 year old visually impaired mother and my 80
year old father living on social security) we just didn't feel good
doing - my stress was getting pretty bad, and I was feeling like being
engaged was awful. Big kudos for doing it that way! and please vent if/
when you need it!

By all means take a break! it seems like burn-out is part of the
process.

(I'm sure you've been asked this already, but...) do you have friends/
family who are skilled at decor/crafting? One of my bridesmaids is in
fashion, and is one of those types of people who just loves this
stuff, so i've sent her my palette, and she's gathering ideas for us
to approve of or not. OR, (again, don't hate me if this is something
you're already doing) pinterest really has been a good tool for me/my
friend so far. i just type in MY idea (casual garden wedding, or
hippie wedding) and pictures and ideas come up that you can collect.

[Angela Brink]

Yes! Thank you!

We're having a traditional wedding after many fits and starts. I took
a whole year off of wedding planning after we first got engaged
because it was so demoralizing. Now, we are moving full steam ahead on
a fall wedding. We have the two most important things to us: a venue
big enough for our huge families to dance the night away and delicious
food. We were lucky to find a place near a nice hotel with a good
group rate. The next big things to get are the dress and dessert. I'm
not even thinking about decorating yet. I'll probably go for clean and
simple since the venue is modern and has bright orange walls.

I've been using Pinterest to gather all my wedding dress ideas! I
wasn't sure about how I would use it when I first signed up. How do
you search effectively? That has been one of my stumbling blocks.

[Colleen McGraw]

Yikes! I didn't realize it was such a common thing, for newly engaged
women to feel so much pressure! Not that I'm surprised, but I thought
it was an element of my personal situation and that most other people,
I dunno, were independently wealthy? in possession of a lot of Xanax?
owned their own venue and catering company?

It sounds like you've gotten to a great place with your planning! YAY!
For dress, I'm going to BHLDN, it's urban outfitter's bridal company.
I know people have beef with UO, but my boyfriend works in their
finance dept, and we get a sweet discount - for the amount of cool
unique design there (you struggle to find the princessey strapless
white gown type thing) with the price I just can't go wrong. I'm going
to the corporate HQ next week to try on some dresses, and we'll see!

Pinterest searching is a lot like google searching for me - so, if I
want to find dresses that are simple and maybe more antique in their
design, I would either search combinations of those terms, getting
more specific if my results are too broad and getting simpler if there
aren't enough results. For instance, Mr. Teenie wanted a warm, earth
toned wedding with orange, so started with "orange brown wedding" then
just "orange wedding" then "autumn wedding" - I got the best results
with the last one. See how it goes! I haven't really looked for
dresses on there because I know where I'm going. You can find me on
pinterest if you want - i'm Coco McGraw on there.

[parallel-lines]

I'm using Pinterest too, mostly to help my florist out because I am a
horrible mess at conveying the jumble of thoughts going through my
head http://pinterest.com/erikkabohm/wedding-ideas/

I think the hardest thing for me has been pulling together an overall
"theme" for the wedding. Like, pictures I see of every other wedding
has matching stationary and consistent use of colors and everything
has an overarching idea and cohension, and when people ask me what I
want, my answer is "to get my friends drunk, feed them well and make
them dance." I'm really trying to steer clear of the super-precious
mason jar and twee hipstamatic photography wedding thing that seems to
be everywhere, but since we're getting married in a barn in the
country, it's hard to avoid--barns don't really lend themselves to
uber classiness but I don't want the "aw shucks" country thing
either...

And I'm having my dress fitted this weekend. I'm having something made
to look like this: http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2011/01/elie-saab-wedding-dress-jersey-bride.html

On Mar 9, 7:21 am, Angela Brink <ambr...@gmail.com> wrote:

[parallel-lines]

I also recommend following blogs you like on pinterest (I follow
wedding chicks, green wedding shoes, 100 layer cake) which tends to
post stuff that I can repin if I like...

On Mar 9, 7:21 am, Angela Brink <ambr...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Colleen McGraw]

oh man, that dress is amazing!!! the veil is amazing too, are you
doing that or a smaller veil (i took a peek at your pinterest page).

I really dig the twee DIY looking thing, so I'm working on figuring
out things we can do that way... i know it's a little cheesy, but it
feels so warm and nice that i think we're just going to go for it.

I"m having a rough weekend, feeling frustrated because Mr. Teenie's
family is really lovely in many ways, but right now they're acting
crazy and kind of rude. And I don't want to feel like a victim over it
(which is my tendency) but it feels really unfair and i'm sitting here
crying... my family doesn't have money. never really did, even before
my father frittered it all away during his bad alcoholic years. and my
parents are now separated, still don't have money, and everyone in Mr.
Teenie's family is like "well, can't they (my family) give you ANY
money?!?" because that's what's supposed to happen, bride's family
pays, right? and i think they not-so-secretly want a more traditional
wedding instead of what we're doing. so it just feels icky. and i feel
"not good enough" and frustrated at being chronically not-well-off,
and stressed about school, and worried that i'm "not good enough"
there too, and i've been so stressed out lately that i've been really
weepy and moody so I feel "not good enough" to my fiance and friends.
if i had the time, i would just curl up in bed and nap the bad
feelings off, but i don't because i've got so much going on with
school and stuff. and i don't really feel like i can talk to any of my
family/friends about it, because i don't want the family to be
aggravated at his family or for them to feel bad, and my friends just
sometimes lack discretion and i don't want it to get back to his
family that i feel this way. so anyway, thanks for listening.

[Jess P.]

Just hopped on here to say YOU CAN DO IT. I just got engaged in
November, we haven't even set a date, and Mr. Nutellaface's mom is
already driving me bananas, can't believe I don't want to shop for my
wedding gown at kleinfeld, etc.
YOU ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH; YOU ARE TEENIE HEAR YOU ROAR.
Also, can Mr. Teenie discreetly, respectfully explain to his family
that yours isn't in the same financial position? Have him back you up,
lady!

Xoxo,
Nutellaface

[Colleen McGraw]

Thanks, Nutellaface. Mr. Teenie has been GREAT, and has explained to
them that, really, what my family makes/can contribute isn't their
business, and that regardless we see a traditional wedding as a lot of
money spent that we just don't want to spend. end of story. It just
never really is the end of the story with a large, tight-knit,
gossipey family. So I just have to wait it out, and keep my
frustrations/sensitivity (always the sensitivity) in check. They'll
get over it as soon as something more interesting comes along.

Congrats on your engagement! Are you guys in the process of figuring
out a date? or just enjoying the engagement for now before diving head-
first into the planning?

[Aubrey]

I got engaged last April, and we're planning a mostly-traditional
wedding for the end of July. I'm in the same boat with school and
stuff being more important to me than picking out silly details.

One suggestion I have for blowing off steam, which has become my hobby
since I've started wedding planning, is suggesting completely of-the-
wall ideas as things you're legitimately considering. Two of my
favorites:
- "We're going to get married at *local amusement park* and have the
Elvis impersonator officiate. Maybe the Michael Jackson impersonator
can sing for us." (This is also kinda my dream?)
- "Every male attending the wedding needs to wear a Spandex tuxedo a
la Brian Wilson at the ESPY's. Not just the wedding party. EVERY
GUY."

My mom is kinda pushing for a more-traditional wedding than I would
prefer (I have told her a billion times that if she weren't helping me
out financially, which she is insisting on doing, then we would
happily have a potluck at a VFW hall) and I think that these kinds of
things help her to put things in perspective. We're also silly people,
so it's fun. I also had a really awesome discussion with newlyweds at
a bar once where they told us how they had a $2000 wedding, which
basically consisted of having a big party in their backyard and hiring
a sushi chef to cater. It sounded amazing. Decide what fits for you,
and embrace it. I just keep telling myself: Whatever choices I make
now, the wedding is going to be fun because I'm going to be surrounded
by people I care about. I just need to make the silly decisions!

Good luck all!

[parallel-lines]

You don't wanna go to Kleinfelds--that place was the WORST! When I
basically told them I wasn't going to spend $5K on a dress they
practically shoved me out the front door. I mean, I've seriously never
been treated that badly at a clothing store in my life.

I had a minor kerfuffle this weekend with my fiance's mother (she
doesn't feel she's being "included" enough in planning so I drew up a
list of things I genuinely need help with, and when I asked for her
help she acted like I was imposing on her, giving her menial work,
etc...then there was a matter of my "rudeness" for not assuming her 12
siblings would come to the rehearsal dinner--I've never met any of
these people and my fiance barely knows them!), but I just kept
repeating my wedding mantra: you can't make everyone happy and fuck
'em if they make you miserable for not coddling them. Seriously. Your
wedding with be tacky to someone who things you didn't spend enough,
self-indulgent to someone who thought you spent too much. Everyone
feels like you should be going out of your way to make them feel extra
special and included and you know what? Sorry, I got shit to get done.
Get on board, get with it, or just show up and eat all that food I
paid for. Get used to saying no and being firm about it because good
lord, people really go bananas and just project all their neuroses
out there.

The money thing..spend what you can afford. One day is not worth
taking out a loan to float. No one ever regretted not spending more
money on their wedding, and when it's all said and done, it's your day
and your say!

[AmyRayDun]

Oh Hi guys. Yep, me too. All of this. All of the above.

So, our solution to all the insanity and pressure we felt immediately
after (and okay, totally before) we got engaged. We're doing a
destination wedding so I don't have to start planning things like
food, flowers, and cake now. Found my dress pretty quickly
(thankfully) although I still haven't heard from the shop about its
arrival (wedding is in October though, so not sweating it?) But yeah,
was not about to spend 5k on a dress. Uh, nope.

Any other destination wedding ladies? Where? What shoes are you
wearing? What are you most nervous about?

Ladies, it's going to be awesome! Let's just focus on that these next
months of planning! (And by "it's" I mean marrieeeddd!!!!)

OX
-Amy

[AmyRayDun]

Wow, wrote that like an ESL bride. Just excited is all!

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[Colleen McGraw]

Hey Amy! Yes, we are doing a destination wedding, along with a small
ceremony at home with direct family and a handful of friends. His
family is not likely to travel for anything, so we needed (and wanted)
to do something they could be involved with, hence the double
ceremony.

So our first little one is this September, then the larger one is in
Costa Rica next February. I'm going to try on dresses at Beholden on
Thursday, then ??? I guess we have a little bit of time to plan,
although Mr. Teenie's mother wants to throw us a large engagement
party in June, presumably for all her friends - since they also likely
won't travel and won't be asked to our small at-home ceremony. (so,
the party count is up to 3? and this was supposed to be simple? haha?)

Shoes: I've got these amazing vintage clogs that I bought UNWORN just
a couple months ago - they're at least 25 years old, and are sooo
amazing... (kind of like these:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/92205863/leather-wood-clogs-size-7-high-heel?ref=sr_gallery_3&sref=&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=clogs+qualicraft&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_ship_to=US&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_type=vintage&ga_facet=vintage)
- wow, sorry about awkward linking. Anyway, we're going for a very
casual, almost hippie feel, so they will go well with any of the long
dresses I'm choosing from. For the beach part, I'm not sure if I'm
going to wear shoes? Although I probably will have to since the beach
we're doing it on is not especially soft and sandy, more pebbly and
ouchie. Maybe I'll do something like a simple beaded sandle, nothing
with a heel or wedge.

Yes, I agree that getting excited is something I'm starting to lose
with all the PRESSURE! so yay! wedding!

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[Colleen McGraw]

And where is your destination?

On Mar 13, 8:56 am, Colleen McGraw <ms.cvmcg...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hey Amy!  Yes, we are doing a destination wedding, along with a small
> ceremony at home with direct family and a handful of friends. His
> family is not likely to travel for anything, so we needed (and wanted)
> to do something they could be involved with, hence the double
> ceremony.
>
> So our first little one is this September, then the larger one is in
> Costa Rica next February.  I'm going to try on dresses at Beholden on
> Thursday, then ??? I guess we have a little bit of time to plan,
> although Mr. Teenie's mother wants to throw us a large engagement
> party in June, presumably for all her friends - since they also likely
> won't travel and won't be asked to our small at-home ceremony. (so,
> the party count is up to 3? and this was supposed to be simple? haha?)
>
> Shoes: I've got these amazing vintage clogs that I bought UNWORN just
> a couple months ago - they're at least 25 years old, and are sooo

> amazing... (kind of like these:http://www.etsy.com/listing/92205863/leather-wood-clogs-size-7-high-h...)

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[Colleen McGraw]

and oh, wow - parallel lines, i just checked out 100 layer cake - I
could get lost in that blog, so many good ideas. Thanks for the tip!

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[Amelia Allard]

This thread makes me SO HAPPY. I feel sorta lonely in wedding planning/
freaking out.

My deal: I have a HUGE Irish-Catholic family (like, 200+ people at
minimum) and the mister has, I kid you not, a family of 14. So we're
having a small wedding in California, where he's from, and a reception
in Rhode Island, where I'm from/where we currently live. I'm inviting
only my siblings, parents, and grandparents to the CA wedding - still
more family than he's inviting! - and a few local friends. Luckily
we're having the reception at my aunt's huge house/yard in the
summertime and I can invite as many people as I want as long as I rent
port-a-potties, so right now the guest list is holding steady at 236.
I plan on calling in ALL THE FAVORS I've ever built up so we can
afford the big bash.

Thankfully the small event has been mega easy to plan. We're working
with a sort of all-inclusive place - venue, food, china/linens/silver,
flowers, bar - and the girl I talk to there is wonderful and seems to
really get my vision. We found an excellent photog through a friend
and I bought my amazing dress for $375 at a bridal store in NH that's
relocating and liquidating all their inventory - the dress was
originally $1500!

I definitely get into the twee thing, which the Mister totally
indulges thank god, and he's been very involved in the big stuff (the
details he's leaving to me). Sometimes I'll mention an idea I've had
and I'll look at him and say "Oh, too precious?" and he says "God
yes." So those ideas go out the window.

My family & his family, so far, have been great - they're just excited
and happy for us, and honored that we want them there.

Thanks again for posting this!!
Amelia

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[Colleen McGraw]

The family thing is kinda weird, right Amelia? My mister is the one
with the HUGE catholic family, and my Scottish Protestant family is 4
other adults besides me (+2 toddlers). so - if it were just our direct
families and friends, we could probably afford to do it ourselves, but
doing something "big" would mean we HAVE to invite ALL his extended
family/family friends/godparents/neighbors, etc etc which gets
unaffordable. It sounds like you guys worked out a really good way to
make it feasible and fun! yay!

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[AmyRayDun]

Those shoes are hella cute. Wish I could pull those off at my
wedding... but we gotta keep things basic because we're so "radical"
with this destination.
My family is eastern european jewish and his family is american jewish/
greek. Basically, lots of personalities. So we're getting everyone out
of their element so no one can co-opt the day.

We're doing it in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. At an all inclusive for
all the ages/family/guests to be as comfortable as possible. Then the
and I are going south to Tulum for our own mini-moon away from all the
fam/guests and do it bungalow-on-the-beach style. Almost more excited
for that than anything else :)

And you're super lucky for all the extra parties! That's an awesome
thing to have! My sister is planning on doing something for all of NY
friends that probably won't shlep to Mexico, and I'm hoping his
parents want to do a little something for all the MI friends that
probably won't either.

Get excited because it is exciting! I'm excited! Right guys? (right
guys?)

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[Amelia Allard]

Yes!

 

I can't imagine how many people we'd actually have to invite. Hundreds. And they'd just complain about how extravagant and spendy it was anyway! They'll be much, much happier with a party. (I mean, they'll still complain, but that's what they're about and I'm gonna let them have it.)

 

I'm glad we're not getting married in a church, because that whole bride's side/groom's side thing just gets embarassing when my family's involved.

[Colleen McGraw]

EVERYONE: i think this is the dress... http://s7d1.scene7.com/is/image/BHLDN/19630367_011_g?$zoom-xl$

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[parallel-lines]

I love that dress and I think it's perfect for the type of wedding
your having. Also: it's not a huge poof princess dress which is a
super refreshing change of pace from, like, 95% of stuff out there.
Get it, girl!

On Mar 16, 3:55 pm, Colleen McGraw <ms.cvmcg...@gmail.com> wrote:
> EVERYONE: i think this is the dress...http://s7d1.scene7.com/is/image/BHLDN/19630367_011_g?$zoom-xl$

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[Colleen McGraw]

yay! thanks! i admit i tried on a big poofy dress (but not TOO poofy)
and was transported to this imaginary princess dream-land, but then i
snapped out of it and was like "omg teenie, what?" So yes, I am going
to get it, once I save up a couple hundo dollars. :-)

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[parallel-lines]

Okay, I need some serious veil help. I'm trying to decide on wearing a
long veil like this:

http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2011/01/elie-saab-wedding-dress-jersey-bride.html
(that's my dress in the picture - I feel weird stealing her idea but
she's in another country/probably wouldn't care. Also - I have no idea
who could make a headband like that - any etsy recommendations?)

or a headpiece, like this: http://www.jennypackhamshop.com/products/acacia-i-crystal

or something more art-deco/1920's ish like:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/81683968/tulle-cap-wedding-veil?ref=sr_gallery_28&sref=&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=1920s+veil&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
But maybe with real flowers?

I tried doing a birdcage because the back of the dress is pretty cool
but I felt like a beekeeper and couldn't see where I was walking, so
no go on that one. I have to pick soon because I have a hair trial
appointment in two months and I want to make sure it's ready by then.

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[Colleen McGraw]

Hm.... I like the one that is shown with your dress (it seems to match
the dress' style better) - I also like the headpiece too. How much has
a veil been part of your imagination about your "look"? If it's always
been in your mind that you'd have a veil, I would try something like
the first one... if not, it' s a real toss-up for me between the first
one and the second one.

On Mar 16, 4:11 pm, parallel-lines <erikka.b...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Okay, I need some serious veil help. I'm trying to decide on wearing a
> long veil like this:
>

> http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2011/01/elie-saab-wedding-dress-jerse...

> (that's my dress in the picture - I feel weird stealing her idea but
> she's in another country/probably wouldn't care. Also - I have no idea
> who could make a headband like that - any etsy recommendations?)
>
> or a headpiece, like this:http://www.jennypackhamshop.com/products/acacia-i-crystal
>

> or something more art-deco/1920's ish like:http://www.etsy.com/listing/81683968/tulle-cap-wedding-veil?ref=sr_ga...

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[Colleen McGraw]

OMG. just tried to ask an etiquette question at the knot. I want to
cut a bitch now. These women are all such cows!!! ugh. beware.

[Rarobin]

I know I'm totally late to this thread, but I plan weddings for a
living. I deal with all of this, every single day of my life.
Granted, it's not MY wedding, but I completely understand and related
to all of this. So if y'all need any etiquette help or some such, I
am totally happy to see what I can do. My friends are sick of talking
about weddings and there are some days that's all I've got. And
sometimes a little venting might be nice. :)

@Parallel-lines- there's an AMAZING veil girl on Etsy.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Honeycombveils?ref=ss_profile
She's made me a veil for a photoshoot and it was WAY better than I'd
ever even hoped. She's also a genuinely nice person, which I
like. :)
(Disclaimer: No commission will be made off this post)

On Mar 16, 2:11 pm, parallel-lines <erikka.b...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Okay, I need some serious veil help. I'm trying to decide on wearing a
> long veil like this:
>

> http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2011/01/elie-saab-wedding-dress-jerse...

> (that's my dress in the picture - I feel weird stealing her idea but
> she's in another country/probably wouldn't care. Also - I have no idea
> who could make a headband like that - any etsy recommendations?)
>
> or a headpiece, like this:http://www.jennypackhamshop.com/products/acacia-i-crystal
>

> or something more art-deco/1920's ish like:http://www.etsy.com/listing/81683968/tulle-cap-wedding-veil?ref=sr_ga...

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[parallel-lines]

The knot is the WORST. WORST WORST WORST bunch of mark ass bitches who
hate their lives, use stupid shorthand like DH, and will grab any
opportunity to be nasty to you. It's like the bitchy girl table in
high school full of ladies with mostly crass, gaudy taste who want to
tell you how tacky you are because they spent too much money on their
crappy weddings and have nothing better to do with their time. I asked
a simple question there once and got my head bit off, it was inferred
the the venue I chose is shabby, and other assorted bitchery. Avoid!

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[parallel-lines]

Thank you rarobin for the recommendation! I think to keep costs down I
might have the veil made in China and the headband made here...I'm
getting tired of spending money.

On Mar 19, 10:14 pm, Rarobin <raro...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I know I'm totally late to this thread, but I plan weddings for a
> living.  I deal with all of this, every single day of my life.
> Granted, it's not MY wedding, but I completely understand and related
> to all of this.  So if y'all need any etiquette help or some such, I
> am totally happy to see what I can do.  My friends are sick of talking
> about weddings and there are some days that's all I've got.  And
> sometimes a little venting might be nice. :)
>

> @Parallel-lines- there's an AMAZING veil girl on Etsy.http://www.etsy.com/shop/Honeycombveils?ref=ss_profile

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[flowylime]

Hey ladies! I am also planning my wedding! I'm having a hard time
because I want to do something modern-looking since the venue is a
contemporary art museum, but it's hard to find with all the cute
vintage twee stuff.

How did everyone do their invitations? I'd love to design my own, but
I don't know how. I also love the look/feel of letterpress, but
that's out of my budget. Any thoughts?

[Colleen McGraw]

They are really and truly heinous. I've gone to offbeat bride now, and WOW, it's much better, and I'm getting some really helpful advice and ideas (like how to do a DIY photobooth - yes please!)

bless Mr. Teenie - I sent him a link to the thread where I was dissected, and he made up his own account and bitched them out for being "angry ass bitches" - haha!

[Amelia Allard]

FL -

 

I too love letterpress and I am crazy about modern-looking designs, but between budget concerns and a finicky mister, we're doing it ourselves. Well, I'm doing it - I'm the craftier one - the mister is helping with layout ideas, etc.

 

I spent a lot of time looking at invites I liked, and then sketched my ideas and made a little mock-up. I figured out what I could do myself, and what I could afford, and then I started putting it together.

 

I downloaded a font we both loved and used that. I had a custom rubber stamp made of our unifying image - a California poppy drawing from a botanical guide - and I bought good, quality paper at Paper Source. I watched a whole bunch of YouTube videos on heat embossing and bought supplies for that. Then I sat down and did the actual layout in GIMP (it's basically a free low-rent version of Photoshop). It took a lot of work - trial and error and frustration - but ultimately it was a success.

 

Plus, 'cause I'm printing them myself, I get to put a few little personal touches on individual invites, which is fun.

 

When it comes time to sit & get them all printed, stamped, heat embossed, assembled, addressed and sealed up, I'm enlisting my mom, my future sister-in-law, and whoever else feels like being crafty to help me for an evening.

 

I'm not done yet, but I feel really good about the process. Let me know if you have any specific questions!

 

x

Amelia

[Amelia Allard]

Girl! I love that dress.

 

Mine is way more princess-y than I ever would've thought would work for me - but I have some alterations in mind that will make it less princess-y and more me.

 

Did you buy it??

[parallel-lines]

Hey flowylime!

I had a friend who's a watercolor artist make ours by hand as a gift,
which was a process I wish I would never have done again knowing what
I know now. Having friends as vendors can make for some really awkward
moments when you have to put your foot down and I even tried firing
him at one point unsuccessfully. That being said, we printed them out
locally, are hand stamping and binding them now and are sending this
weekend, which is a lot of work. It's one of those things I wasn't
happy with but decided to let go.

I really liked the idea of the print it yourself suits at love vs.
design and em papers where you have the pdf file and just print it on
whatever paper you want. I really loved Rifle Papers but they started
north of a grand and I couldn't justify it--this Etsy seller's stuff
has a similar vibe at a much lower price: http://www.etsy.com/shop/LOFTLIFEPRESS?page=1

Letterpress will automatically double the cost of your invites - it's
totally a personal call, I ended up deciding to spend the money
elsewhere since upon reflecting, I couldn't remember a single wedding
invitation I'd ever received in my life.

[parallel-lines]

Also, just found this sale on letterpress stationery:
http://www.100layercake.com/popup-shop/browse/72

[Colleen McGraw]

I haven't yet bought it - I'm SO STINGY, and I'm struggling to feel ok with spending the money on it, even with the Mr's discount. Hm. So I've continued to look, we'll see.

What does your dress look like? There's nothing wrong with princessey, I mean, I completely loved the princessey one I tried on, but it just doesn't go with the vibe we're trying to create.

I've been trying to chill out with the wedding planning, because it was making me pretty stressed, and I'm in the middle of a bunch of school crap too, and there's other stressy stuff in my life too, so I'm trying to tell myself that the planning can wait another few weeks. BUT, we did do our engagement pics yesterday, and I think they came out pretty good. A friend of ours did them for free as an engagement prezzie, so that's a good thing!

[Jon Petkun]

Hey guys!
I'm a Hairpin readin' dude (but not A Dude - I'd kill to be A Dude),
and I'm also about get married. I'm actually writing with a
particular question. I've never used it before, but I think a few of
you have mentioned Pinterest. My fiance and I are trying to get on,
but apparently you need to be invited to make an account. If anyone
is a current user, do you think you could invite us? My email is
jbpetkun (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks so much!!!
Jon

[Amelia Allard]

Colleen -

 

The dress is all the things I was dead set against. Strapless with a wrapped (more pleated than wrapped, really) bodice and a train. The skirt is A-line but I'm taking out the crinoline so it'll fall straight down, more column-like. I'm actually totally in love with it. Who knew I'd like something so different from what I'd planned? (Oh, right, everyone at the bridal shop - the woman was like "EVERYONE SAYS THAT".)

 

The mister & I just moved and he's mid-semester so we're both taking it easy on the planning at the moment. We're trying to figure out when we can get to SF so we can actually MEET our photographer and wedding coordinator-lady (she's in charge of the venue, which provides food/drinks/flowers so she's essentially a coordinator, which is cool 'cause the very idea of hiring someone separately to do that gave me hives). The photog (who is a friend-of-a-friend and so lovely and so affordable) is going to do our engagement shots then, too. She's including them with the whole price!

[Amelia Allard]

Did you get an invite, Jon? If not, I can send you one! Just lemme know.

 

-Amelia

[Colleen McGraw]

haha, I was just about to post, and saw that you'd just posted - twinsies!

Crinoline removal is a must for any non-princessy gown. Glad you found something you love! It seems like the more time taken to find a dress, the more agonizing it becomes. It sounds like you've got some awesome planning support too, which is key to maintaining sanity. Friends who are photographers are great! that can be such a big cost if you don't have someone willing to cut it down for you. my friend who did our engagement shots may or may not do our wedding too, it all depends on whether or not she's moved back to Europe by then (BOO!)

GUYS! the dress debate!!! I'm really struggling... I've found what I THINK is the perfect dress. The thing is it's only available online, and the only vendor who has my size DOESN'T ALLOW REFUNDS FOR RETURNS, only store credit. WTF is that?!?! it's a lot less expensive ($350) but STILL, the thought of not being able to get it back if I don't like the dress stinks. But then again, how bad could it be? Am I blowing up the small, slight possibility that the dress won't "work" for whatever reason, to proportions that aren't realistic? The dress is selling out fast, so if I want it, I'm going to need to get it soon.
This is the dress: http://www.singer22.com/61234.html
This is another option that I like, just not as much: http://www1.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/lm-by-mignon-gown-rosette-one-shoulder-gown?ID=594274&CategoryID=21683#fn=LENGTH_M%3DLong%26SIZE_NORMAL%3DXS;;1;;0%26spp%3D6%26ppp%3D96%26sp%3D1%26rid%3D61

hmph. I'm this close to buying the first one, but I keep freezing because... what IF?!?! Any thoughts on how to navigate this?

[Amelia Allard]

CM -

 

I LOVE the first dress. The way the ribbon is wrapped in the third picture is amazing. Plus there's a lot that can be done with that dress if it's not perfect - changing out the ribbon is the first thing that comes to mind. ALSO since it's selling out so fast that makes it a bit more likely you'll be able to sell it on ebay or wherever if it's really terrible.

 

I LIKE the second dress, though I'm wary of empire waists.

 

What are your major concerns about Dress #1?

 

xA

Amelia J. Allard

401/447.4543

[Colleen McGraw]

Amy - by the way, do you have a sister named Jackie? she and I have met up in the past (through the hairpin), and the description of your family, and your name, made me think maybe....?

[Colleen McGraw]

haha, my ONLY concern is EEK! I can't return it! what if...? I don't know? it looks awful on me? I'm pretty easy to dress (petite, athletic) so I think if anything I'll just need to take it up. Hahahaha, getting that dress feels a little bit like getting married: I LOVE it, I'm almost certain it will be perfect, but it's SUCH A COMMITMENT!

[Colleen McGraw]

OMGIJUSTBOUGHTIT! oh god, it feels good. I haven't spend that much on one item of clothing for myself EVER. I need a cigarette.

[Amelia Allard]

So proud of you!! Now you can feel a more awesome "eek" about it!!

 

I just spent half an hour of my workday looking at shoes. Wedding shoes, I mean. Gold ones.

 

I should probably do work instead so I can afford shoes.

Amelia J. Allard

401/447.4543

[Colleen McGraw]

Yes, wedding planning has had a significant negative impact on my work productivity. I'm only hoping that my boss never has the desire to look at my web browsing history in the next 6 months...

[Colleen McGraw]

...and i just went back to look at it (again) and it looks like i literally bought the last one

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, now i'm excited. THANK YOU AMELIA!!!

And you're looking for gold shoes? what style? I'll keep my eyes peeled during my slacktastic work days...

[Amelia Allard]

Low heels, gold or light gold or something, closed toe. If I never see another open toe in my life... Something fun and sassy.

 

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

 

My boss has been out of the office for two days and I'm concerned that when he gets back he'll want to know what I've been DOING and I'll have to say something other than "looking at Pinterest".

Amelia J. Allard

401/447.4543

[Colleen McGraw]

ok, shoes are next on my agenda, so I'll shoot you a line if I find something awesome in that category. (and I started following you on Pinterest... it's good to see wedding planning stuff from peeps with my sensibilities)

[Amelia Allard]

Hi wedding-planning sweeties,

 

I have a biiiig etiquette-ish question, and I'm wondering how y'all would handle it, or if you have any suggestions, etc.

 

The mister & I are basically having two weddings. #1 is small (50 people), pretty much family-only (my 4 sibs, their spouses and kids, my parents, my grandparents, his parents/aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents, and maybe 10 local friends), and is in California, 3000 miles away from where we live/where I'm from (Rhode Island). #2 (basically a huge party at home) is big (250+ people), family and friends, and is in Rhode Island. They're almost exactly 6 months apart (1/19/13 and 7/20/13).

 

So here's the question: WTF do I do about a bridal shower? I don't care about one, I don't even really want one, but my mom would like to host one for me, which goes against all the wedding etiquette bullshit I've read but which makes the most sense for us (my friends, while wonderful and loving and generous, are also a little flaky when it comes to planning social events, and I don't have a bridal party to do this). So whatever, Emily Post. Anyway.

 

Who does she invite? I don't give a good goddamn if it's ladies-only, but she seems to, so whatever. The ladies who are attending wedding #1 live in California (with the exception of my sisters, grandmas, and Mom). I don't want to invite people who aren't invited to the wedding, but then again all my closest RI friends are invited to (and will come to) #2.

 

This is our Save-the-Date/Invite mailing timeline:

 

9 months pre-#1: STD (hahaha) to #1

3 months pre-#1, which is also 9 months pre-#2: Invite to #1, STD to #2 (because god forbid anyone who's not invited to #1 find out - apparently everyone I know is super sensitive? I'm trying to prevent pass-agg calls/emails from my zillions of aunts & uncles)

3 months pre-#2: Invite to #2

 

My thought right now is that I'll suggest my mom host the shower just before #1, since every single lady invited to either party will know about it already and no one will feel like Mom's just asking them to buy me things.

 

Again, I'm trying to let go of my weird feelings about even having a shower, which kind of adds an additional layer of discomfort to this whole thing...

 

Do y'all have any suggestions? Please level my head already.

 

x

Amelia

On Thursday, March 8, 2012 1:40:22 PM UTC-5, Colleen McGraw wrote:

Hey! SO! Wedding planning making you cray? got ideas/frustrations/
questions bursting out of you at any given moment? want to ask some of
the classiest broads you know about their thoughts?

Yeah! ME TOO! SAME!

So if anyone sees this, chime in and share whatever is on your mind.

I'm currently in a bit of a peaceful lull, because we finally decided
that we couldn't/didn't want to afford a traditional wedding, so we're
doing two phases: phase 1 is an intimate ceremony with direct family
and a handful of friends in my sister's back yard this fall (this is
where we'll officially be married). phase 2 is a more inclusive
ceremony (come one! come all!) on the beach in Costa Rica where he
proposed. The stress of thinking about the dollar amounts associated
with a wedding blew my mind, and although it may be more work to do it
DIY, it's a type of work I enjoy and it won't stress me nearly as
much. AHHHHHH, back to feeling sane after that decision.

anyone else?

[Colleen McGraw]

I didn't know that having your mother throw your shower was a no-no? hm. Because my fiance's mother threw a shower for his older sister, and she's pretty "into" etiquette.  Well, anyway, here's my take on wedding etiquette (at least my take on it after planning mine so far, because I really couldn't have given two shits prior to this): if someone will have hurt feelings or feel sad/bad, then put extra consideration into your idea. Otherwise, etiquette for the sake of etiquette is super lame and restrictive and doesn't seem to reflect the current perceptions and morals of our peers.

Personally, I think having your mom throw a "do" for you prior to your first ceremony sounds the best. Showers do feel kinda weird, don't they? and I'm not so sure why, maybe it's the whole obligatory present scenario? Hm. Anyway, if people want to throw it for you (people being your mom in this scenario) then let them! Sit back,  and try to enjoy.

[Amelia Allard]

This is what happens when I read The Knot. Blah blah shower etiquette etc.

 

Anyway: I think you're right and the idea of doing it before the California wedding makes the most sense.

 

Honestly, I think my evil stepmother's behavior at my sister's shower - telling me I couldn't bring my brother's girlfriend (they've been together for 7 years, and I have no idea - nor did my sister! - why she wasn't invited) "unless she brings a gift" - really threw me. I hate the obligatory gift thing. Plus I kind of hate going to them. I'm sure Mom & I will figure out a way to make it fun.

 

This morning the mister told me he's going to pin a ribbon from his brother's funeral - a ribbon he's carried with him for 11 years - to his suit, because "he's my best man" - and I was so overwhelmed with love & adoration & why can't we just run off to the courthouse & be married already?

 

x

A

Amelia J. Allard

401/447.4543

[Colleen McGraw]

Amelia: say it with me.... FUCK THE KNOT. mkay?

[Avrjen]

On Mar 13, 2012, at 9:19 AM, Colleen McGraw <ms.cv...@gmail.com> wrote:

> And where is your destination?
>
> On Mar 13, 8:56 am, Colleen McGraw <ms.cvmcg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hey Amy! Yes, we are doing a destination wedding, along with a small
>> ceremony at home with direct family and a handful of friends. His
>> family is not likely to travel for anything, so we needed (and wanted)
>> to do something they could be involved with, hence the double
>> ceremony.

>> I I

>>>>>>>>> On Mar 8, 2:28 pm, Colleen McGraw <ms.cvmcg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>>>>>>> Yeah, I hear you on the difficulties with traditional weddings. We
>>>>>>>>>> really budgeted it down, and the lowest we could feasbly make it was
>>>>>>>>>> 8-9k, which (even with the guilt-laced financial help his mother
>>>>>>>>>> wanted to give us, since the cost of the wedding is supposed to be the
>>>>>>>>>> responsibility of my 70 year old visually impaired mother and my 80
>>>>>>>>>> year old father living on social security) we just didn't feel good
>>>>>>>>>> doing - my stress was getting pretty bad, and I was feeling like being
>>>>>>>>>> engaged was awful. Big kudos for doing it that way! and please vent if/
>>>>>>>>>> when you need it!
>>
>>>>>>>>>> By all means take a break! it seems like burn-out is part of the

>>>>>>>>>> process.
>>
>>>>>>>>>> (I'm sure you've been asked this already, but...) do you have friends/
>>>>>>>>>> family who are skilled at decor/crafting? One of my bridesmaids is in
>>
>> ...
>>
>> read more »