> If you're going to keep doing this, at least contain it to one thread
> On 7 November 2012 15:47, Alexander Lang <alexanderlang1...@gmail.com>wrote:
>> [Scene: Outside shot of U.S.S. Enterprise alongside Babylon 5]
>> Picard: Captains Log Stardate 44794.5. Due to Q's trickery we have made
>> contact with a large space station called Babylon 5. Also, two teenagers
>> in
>> a telephone booth have landed quite unexpectedly on the Bridge.
>> [Scene: Dramatic situation on Enterprise's Bridge]
>> Riker: Fire !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> [Bill and Ted dive behind the phone booth, Picard and Troi both bury their
>> heads in their hands in shame. Worf just chuckles - but gives a long look
>> toward to Bill and Ted, an air of fascination on his face]
>> Bill: [Turns to Ted] Most bogus, dude. These must be a most dangerous
>> people.
>> Ted: Yuh. But check out the big alien dude - didn't he play for Kiss ?
>> [Bill and Ted pop their heads round the side of the booth, one above the
>> other, just in time for ....]
>> Picard: [Placing a paternal hand on Rikers shoulder] Look, Will, I know
>> you
>> saw the "To Be Continued" come up - but you really must get out of the
>> habit
>> of wanting to shoot people.
>> [Meanwhile, on the viewscreeen]
>> Sinclair: Who are these people ?
>> Ivanova: How the hell should I know ? They only just got here ....
>> [In the background...]
>> Garybalding: Under the boardwalk ....
>> [Back on the Enterprise, Picard stands up and does "The Picard Manoeuvre"
>> to
>> his uniform, and turns to Bill and Ted - he puts on his most fatherly
>> look -
>> i.e.: a thin smile]
>> Picard: Now, how can we help you two young roustabouts, eh ? Have we been
>> out stealing some Timelords TARDIS, um?
>> Ted: Well, dude, it was like this - Over to you Bill [Does a theatrical
>> turn to Bill]
>> Bill: Thank you very much, my most excellent friend. [He assumes a very
>> cop
>> like attitude and pretends to read from a note book - Ted nods all the
>> time]
>> Captain, your Dudeness, my most bodacious friend Ted Theodore Logan and I,
>> Bill S Preston Esquire, were going through space and time to take the most
>> excellent Princesses for a holiday when we stopped off for a bite to eat
>> at
>> the court of Caligular (A most strange and weird man) There, we were
>> accosted by this most bogus Dude calling himself P ...
>> Ted: [Double take at Bill, tugs his arm and whispers into his ear] S, man,
>> S [smiles at Picard]
>> Bill: [To Ted] I know ! [Back to Picard] S! that was it. And ..
>> [Meanwhile, on the viewscreeen]
>> Sinclair: Do you think they are safe ?
>> Ivanova: Do any old analogies regarding Fruit Cakes mean anything ?
>> Sinclair: Uh ? I've never heard of a dangerous fruit cake, apart from that
>> one Ambassador SPFX made last week?
>> Ivanova: Safe??? Sorry, I thought you said "Sane" !!!!
>> [in the background]
>> Garybalding: How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice ....
>> Picard: Sorry, but if I may interrupt for a second, ah em, er, dude, would
>> you by any means mean ...
>> Wesley: [waves hand in the air...]
>> Picard: shut up, Wesley ... by any means mean Q ?
>> [Bill and Ted look at each other, nod and turn to Picard]
>> Bill and Ted: Excellent ! That was it !
>> Bill:Ê Anyway, he said we had to come and join you. Dude didn't say why.
>> Picard: Well, that makes sense then. If you could just remove [gestures to
>> the phone booth] that from my bridge then we can carry on ...
>> Ted: [Shrugs and gets into the phone booth. To Bill] Back in a sec dude.
>> [He picks up the phone book and dials the number for the Cargo deck]
>> [SPFX: Blue lightening, sparks and crashing guitar chords - The booth
>> spins
>> and then gets sucked into the floor. There is a sudden rush of non-noise
>> and
>> a copy of the New York times drifts by]
>> [Meanwhile, on the viewscreeen]
>> Sinclair: Hay ! Did you see that !
>> Ivanova: Nothing spectacular. We have it all the time at the Chernobyl
>> Theme Park.
>> Sinclair: Harrumph. We may have the better story lines, but their special
>> effects are far superior to ours. We don't stand a chance ....
>> [in the background]
>> Garybalding: Maddie, how can you say you don't love me after all these
>> shows.....
>> [Bill, meanwhile, is getting comfy next to Troi, his gaze not entirely
>> avoiding her cleavage]
>> Data: Fascinating.
>> Wesley: Hay ! My last model warp drive did that and I got grounded for a
>> week.
>> Picard: Hmmmm.
>> Riker:
>> Troi: I sense ....
>> Ensign No-One: Sir ! It's appeared in the cargo deck.
>> Worf:Ê [at the top of his voice] EXCELLENT !!!!!!
>> [They all turn to look at Worf, who suddenly looks very embarrassed. Bill
>> gives him a long look, followed by a sudden knowing grin]
>> Worf: Sorry, Sir, I don't know what came over me.
>> Picard: Right. Raise shields, arm phasers and aim at that space station.
>> Riker: Can I say it now, please, please, can I say it ??? Please ??
>> Picard: Oh, I suppose so. Oh, and Wesley ?
>> Wesley: Yes Sir ???? Shall sa ....
>> Picard: Just shut up Wesley ... its all yours Number One.
>> Riker: FIRE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> [Nothing happens]
>> Riker: FIRE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> [Still. Nothing happens]
>> Picard: [To Worf] Er. Mr Worf, if you'd be so kind ?
>> Riker: FFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> Picard: [To Worf] Er. Mr Worf, any day now please ?
>> Riker: [Suddenly bursts into tears] No one ever fires any more for me !
>> Just because I nearly killed the Captain last time .....
>> Troi: [Takes Rikers hand and leads him to the Turbo lift, which arrives
>> dispensing Ted] Come on, Will. Have a lie down, you've been ... [the lift
>> doors shut]
>> [Bill takes Troi's seat, Ted takes Riker's. Picard stands and turns to
>> Worf
>> - He puts on his most authoritative, yet patient and teacher-like voice]
>> Picard: Now, Mr Worf, you've been with the show long enough to know that
>> all strangers we meet fall into two categories: those that help us, and
>> those that hit us. Now, past experience has shown us .....
>> [Meanwhile, on the viewscreeen]
>> Sinclair: [Lounging back eating a sandwich and drinking coffee] When do
>> you
>> think we'll get in on the story line ?
>> Ivanova: [Brushing her hair] I'm not too worried. I've been over doing it
>> lately. Begin this attractive really takes it out of me, you know ?
>> [in the background]
>> Garybalding: Now when the sun beats down ....
>> Picard: .... that the first people we meet turn out to be the ones that
>> HIT
>> us, and it is the second that turn out to be the ones that HELP us. You
>> see.
>> Now. Fire on that space station....
>> Worf: If I may respectfully submit, Dude, that is a most bogus suggestion.
>> Picard: [Raised eyebrows] Oh yes, and why may that be ....
>> Worf: Because, Dude, of him ..... [nods over Picard's shoulder - Picard
>> turns to see ....]
>> Picard: Q !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> [From below decks can faintly be heard Riker shouting FFFFIIIRRREEE !!!]
>> To be Continued...
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