The Grif.net

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family . . . in another city. You can't

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” ~Viktor

I had a bunch of salad puns, but I tossed them. Lettuce take a moment to appreciate these salad puns.

Fly Lutheran Air: If you are traveling soon-consider Lutheran Air, the no-frills airline-you're

My doctor tested my hearing and said I was going deaf. That news was hard to hear. I always thought

A friend complained how bad it was to live in the central USA. She wishes she were moved out the

What do you call a magician that loses his magic? Ian. What did the yoga instructor say when her

A little boy about 10 years old was standing on the sidewalk in front of a shoe store, barefooted,

What did the horse say after it tripped? Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy-up! What do you

The most shoplifted book in America is the bible. According to researchers, duct tape should never be

[This is a reprint from 25 years ago. Not so funny now.] "OLDER THAN DIRT" IS WHEN . . .

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ** Knock, knock. Who's there?

[Reprint from the Grif Net 29 years ago, coming true in our lifetime] Today is the "official

Soldier, rest, thy warfare o'er, Dream of fighting fields no more. Sleep the sleep that knows not

The United States makes 25 percent of the world's cheese. Wisconsin produces the most (and best)

Most department stores tend to play slower music, in order to slow down customers and keep them

Sixty percent of the world's lakes (three million total) are located in Canada. The highest point

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.

Mark Twain was born on the night Haley's comet passed the Earth, and died the night it passed the

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like

[This is a reprint from the Grif Net blog May 15, 2006. Amazed at how many of these are still true 20

Useful Metric Conversions You Won't Learn in School * 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone * 2000

[These 'jokes' will draw a groan rather than a chuckle. If you don't get every one, you

“People often accuse me of stealing other's jokes and being a plagiarist. Their words — not mine…

A friend shouted to his Mom on Mother's Day, “How does breakfast in bed sound?” She said, “Ooh

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She

Grandchildren don't make a woman feel old. That comes from the knowledge that she's married

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them loose change from my purse, and they give me a million

Why did Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because pencils made him ask '2B or not 2B'?