Friends

[John Cox]

Have you ever felt like you'd lost a friend?

But then wondered were they ever actually your friend in the first place?

Then wondered, would I, in other circumstances have even wanted to be their friend?

When I was at school I always felt differnt to the other kids and the fact was that I was, I ofter get that same feeling in life including on this group but here I've mostly felt that was ok.

This past few days I've been very much put in mind of the way I felt at school, but I had to be at school and I don't have to be on this group so I'm not sure why the posts on here have played on my mind and in the shower just now it came to me.

If I'd got out of tham krabok and found this group a week ago and read the farewell chain of post I'd be confuesed at best. Comments mentioning chatholic church funding and heroin crops, as well as sacastic point scoring and insults seem unhelpful to me.

I once said I was going to leave this group and I honestly feel embarresed that I did now because I can now see what motivated me to do it and it certainly wasn't an alturistic motivation and now I think I was just being intollerant.

I wasn't going to bother writting this because I don't really want to kick off yet another discusion however I am bothered that I am not supporting a group that has and continues to, support me.

I've never met anyone on here except Stu so I guess I've not got a real attatchment to any of you past you being like minded souls somewere out there in the ether....but I still like to know your all there and I still hope to hear everyones views.

I'm still clean and I'm still happy...how's everyone else doing?????

Sent from my iPod

[metalface from kent]

I'm Fine meself,John and will continue to be your Freind as long as
you are mine!
I'm like that with everyone (on-line and off,always have been,'on
gear' or 'off') .Even when I get a 'negative' impression or response
off someone I still come forward and try to turn it towards
'Positive'.It makes ME feel better.
Generally speaking,there's Good and Bad in ALL,and its our (often
Imaginary and Delusionary) Perpective of people that causes us to make
(-up) 'Judgements'-quite often Sub-conscious and also,often as
not,Wrong.How many times have you changed your mind about someone just
because of one or two insignificant little things (I do).
Bowery said something quite Wise to me the other day-She said"..I
hope I dont get so secure in coming out of my addiction that I start
making Judgements of other people".How Right is that!

I blame myself for causing more negativity than we usually get around
here this past week with what I'm calling the Afghan Heroin 'Crisis'.I
made the mistake of Posting my original well-thought out Discussion in
'Full Loon' mode and got a bit carried away with the 'creative'
aspect,and despite the fact that the points I made (I thought) were
very valid and relevant to this site,the initial negative responses
kind of 'soured' the real issue,'Ego's got involved,and the whole
thing sort of 'snowballed'.Its kinda 'water-of-a-ducks-back' for
me ,I'm a well known 'pain in the arse'(-in a nice way,I like to
think),but the fact that the negativity spread to yourself and a few
others does genuinely bother me.God only knows,I did enough
apologising and explaining and cant really do anymore to rectify-but I
still think it was an interesting discussion and it certainly woke a
few people up-didnit!!!
I could of,I suppose,started pointing the finger and saying 'stuff'
but that really 'aint my style'....'Humble' lot us 'smackies' (all of
us,I think)-taken enough falls and been trodden on enough not to worry
too much about a few daft words and quite a few other things-thats the
'up-side,I guess.But it does concern me if I myself,think I have upset
someone through any Action of mine.
However,even before this last discussion,I had detected (and not the
only one) just a few 'negative rumblings'-'side-swipes' ,ambigious
comments and the like (I hate that-much prefer a 'head-on'-at least
you know where ya stand,eh?),
which I did personally actively avoid,and successfully I believe.I
think it sort of came to a 'head' in the last few days and lets hope
we've seen the last of anything like that.There's no blame involved
and thats that.

I think you support this Group very well,John and always have.Your
Posts are always worth reading and you raise some very interesting
issues.Your always a 'gentleman',as well, and that says a lot about a
person (I think).

..We're BOTH still clean and we're BOTH still Happy...and the
'Party's' getting BIGGER!!

Best Wishes (always),Mate.
mfk

P.s.I think ALL the regular 'Posters' (and a few new ones),have done
and do a great job in making this place 'home' for a growing number of
people-I suppose its only normal to expect a few 'domestics',eh?

[Vince Cullen]

Hey John,

I'm still here and still reading everything, even if I haven't had a chance to post much lately.

My own life is full-up just for now and not necessarily with 'good things'.  However, as all things are temporary, transient and impermanent (inluding the keyoard on this bloody PC) this won't last forever.

Maybe, we should try a SKYPE conference call sometime, if we can agree on a suitable time across international time-lines?

...but more later (I hope).

Best wishes to all.

With Metta,

Vince
__________________________________
332
Pleasure arises from
rightly serving one’s parents.
Pleasure arises from
supporting renunciates.
Pleasure arises from
honouring awakened beings.
__________________________________
A DHAMMAPADA for CONTEMPLATION
http://aruno.org//index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=241&Itemid=80

2009/12/6 John Cox <johnc...@ymail.com>

--
The OFFICIAL Thamkrabok Monastery website is http://www.thamkrabok-monastery.org
 INDEPENDENT information can be found at http://www.thamkrabok.net
 To post to this group, send email to Friends-of-Tham...@googlegroups.com
 To unsubscribe from this group, send email to Friends-of-Thamkrabok...@googlegroups.com
 For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Friends-of-Thamkrabok-Monastery

[bowerygirl]

glad ur not goin anywhere just yet there man.i actually find ur posts
tobe a kind of "moment of clarity" inme world of negative madness.
things seem to be getn a bit easier but im realistic in that i know im
still at the start of the road here. u seem to have experienced many
of the same things i have an ur whole takeon always feeling different
well jeez i know exactly how that is. so when u throw around a problem
n then u come back n tell us u have found a way thru it,i LISTEN! the
lasttime i allowed "friends" toget close to me i was about 6! i have
always rolled solo an LOVED it. when i went to thailand i met 3 ppl
that have stuck an i still keepin touch with them weekly. i genuinely
care about them and its really weird for me to say that but i think
its showing some growth cuz u just cant dothis whole sober thing by
urself..jeez ive tried it every way to sunday an it just isnt doable.i
stillgot alot of work to do in that having real "live" friends that
are healthy in the same zone as me is still a work in progress but any
communication has been a step up. it helps me head, reminds me tht im
not the only person having a rough go(which i find meself thinking
alot that im the one who just cant hack this) and it also gives me a
sense of accountability an keeps me in check cuz on me worst days at
the very least i think to meself i dont want to let anyone
down.unfortunately i have yet to find meself in a position where i
care enuff inside to not mes up for me own sake. i am hopeful that
will come with time an a few acheivements.this forum has been for me
over the last two years the absolute only true connection to humanity
an reality i have had an i dont plan on checkin out. iknow i can be
hard to deal with an very frustrating at times maybe even percieved as
someone who doesnt take anything seriously. if i dont laugh i will
fizzle out because the truth is i am just a ball nerves with noplace
to go but make no mistake i dont miss anything an im always up for
making this day betr than yesterday. hope this finds u cats inthe
middle of a great day~bowerygirl

[Stuart B]

Hey John...
I am still here as well, liked the post....think i
have mentioned it before...years of not fitting in and feeling
different from about 3or 4 years of age....years of drugs and trying
to fit in....now years clean and slowly realizing...f--k i dont fit in
anyway, so i have stopped trying to prove to myself that i do fit in,
i play the game and people don't know the difference...its
great...dont want to fit in to the insanity anyway....enough insanity
of my own to deal with ha ha...hope all is well...oh and by the way
Dundee are 5 points clear at the top of division 1 and we won the
challenge cup a couple o weeks back..Go on the Dee!!!! now there is
insanity for ya!! following Dundee ha ha.

Stuart

[John Cox]

For a few fleeting moments there I was smiling and then you had to go and mention the bloody footy lol.

 

I once heard a line that's stayed with me, in fact it was at the one NA i went to back in the UK. It was "Lie to get buy", at first I thought that was an odd thing to "preach" but the older I get the more it applies...some time its those little white lies we tell ourselves that get us through the day.

 

The classic one for me being, "Next year we'll win the premiership" (for the record I'm Liverppol fan)

 

Buy the way I got a message from Audry this morning, her boy sent it me. She's sore and needs to rest but is well and in good spirits, she'll be around again soon and has asked me to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts..oh and a special thanks to Vince for books and stuff.

 

I'm glad everyone is well (Vince and Audry not with standing), I think collective support is a truely wonderful thing. I think part of believing in your self is allowing your self to believe in others too....kind of trusting your won judgement I guess.

 

It's a lovely warm evening here, there a milliuons stars in the sky and all of my plants seem happy, my girl friends happily buying christmas gifts online and I'm not having to lie to myself coz I am not using and lifes good.

 

 

Cheers Guys,

 

Coxy

---

From: Stuart B <stuart....@btconnect.com>
To: Friends of Thamkrabok Monastery <friends-of-tham...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Mon, 7 December, 2009 22:19:50
Subject: [FOTM:2562] Re: Friends

[John Cox]

Sorry, one more "Audrey up date". She would also like support Brian, in fact as I remember her exact words were, "dispite him being a Chelsea fan, our Brians a nice guy"

Ok, I made the last bit up but he son did specificly request I pass on her thanks and was very touched by his kindness.

Cheers,

Coxy

Sent from my iPod

[Brian Haffenden]

 

 

---

From: friends-of-thamkra...@googlegroups.com [mailto:friends-of-thamkra...@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of John Cox
Sent: Tuesday, 8 December 2009 7:39 PM
To: friends-of-tham...@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: [FOTM:2564] Re: Friends

 

Sorry, one more "Audrey up date". She would also like support Brian, in fact as I remember her exact words were, "despite him being a Chelsea fan, our Brians a nice guy"

 

Ok, I made the last bit up but he son did specificly request I pass on her thanks and was very touched by his kindness.

 

Cheers,

Coxy

 

Hi JC,

Thank you for this message. A little surprised and confused as I am in regular email contact with her. I also made an international call to cheer her up on her return home from hospital.

Additionally, I also had an email from her daughter – whom I am about to link up with my grandchildren as new “penpals”

Chelsea fan for almost 70 years YES………….but the nice guy bit??? Not too sure that cap fits!!!

Merry Christmas and a Great New Year to all on FOTM,

Brian H