A Personal Sacred Harp Journey
S. Nicoletta Rogers
A Personal Sacred Harp Journey
Disclaimer: there is a saying that goes “take what you like and leave the rest”. I like this saying very much, AND I realize that sometimes this is easier said than done! For what does “…leave the rest” really mean? As I ask myself the question, an answer immediately presents itself, namely that something is missing from the phrase; it might be more complete and accurate to say “Take what you like and leave the rest to God!” (whatever the God of your understanding is!) This does not mean I have to ignore “the rest”; I can still have thoughts/feelings about it and express those, if I feel so moved. To “leave the rest to God” means to me that no matter how I feel about something, what I express about it and how, I leave the outcome in God’s hands – and I personally often refer to God as the Intelligent Universe, or Universal Intelligence, mostly because I was raised by a grandmother who referred to herself as an Atheist and was – to say the least – not fond of ANY form of organized religion, and particularly the Christian kind. As the title indicates: this IS a personal sharing, so bear with me.
Leaving the outcome in God’s hands means to me that I do not attempt to control what happens, if I dare to express my thoughts/feelings on “the rest” – which by default are those things I do not like so much or not AT ALL, specifically I do not control how someone else receives what I might share. This does not mean that I am going to “shrink away” in fear of someone possibly disagreeing or taking offense to what I have to say. I will now begin with my sharing.
It is about having a Voice also known as a Sacred Harp! What does this mean to me?
I “lost” my Voice when I was very young. Due to the circumstances of my conception, birth and early years living among people who were deeply wounded themselves by their own histories – including war and alcoholism -, I came to believe that I did not deserve to exist, not to mention have a Voice with which to express my true thoughts and feelings about the events which precipitated this deeply held belief in me. Please believe me when I say that there is no blame implied here. I understand that ALL IS WELL, and that everything in my life needed to take place precisely as it did for my own personal SOUL evolution to this place here and now! I am only mentioning this to give a context for why I felt it necessary to begin with the above disclaimer and for what I am about to share.
When I was about 10 years old, as part of a game at a birthday party, I was asked to sing a “C”, just this one single note, and I found that I could not do it. I felt terrified and paralyzed and wanted nothing more than to sink into a hole in the ground and disappear forever! My friend, the birthday girl, ended up singing this one note for me, and I felt gratefully relieved, and also ashamed and embarrassed. These feelings stayed with me all my life. I literally never sang out loud for the sheer joy of it, even though I did sing in a school choir for a couple of years, but always VERY quietly, so as not to have anyone notice when something “wrong” came out of my mouth.
And then I found Sacred Harp, or to put it more accurately: the Intelligent Universe introduced me to Sacred Harp singing via my husband Steve in 2007. I had already been doing a lot of internal “work” on speaking up, sharing thoughts/feelings, having an opinion without fear of consequences, etc. and I still did not dare to sing, even though I had always loved music and wished I could feel comfortable enough to sing out loud.
Steve invited me to come along to the Annual Central Ontario Singing, which was held in London, Ontario that year. As a back-up plan I had arranged to meet a friend during lunch and possibly to hang out with her during the afternoon, in case this singing wasn’t my cup of tea. I cancelled on my friend (I could have told her to get herself to the singing instead!!). I simply did not want to leave and miss even a minute of what has by now become a significant and important part of my life. I was completely hooked by the BIG and RAW sound of this music and the haunting harmonies. I realize now that - subconsciously - I felt that this might be a place where I could sing out loud and still “hide”, rather than stick out like a sore thumb and embarrass myself.
I did not start singing out loud immediately, however. I had to overcome – forgive me – my revulsion (or perhaps I should say my grandmother’s revulsion, left over from my early upbringing) to most of the lyrics! Because I was so powerfully attracted to the sound of the music, it wasn’t overly difficult to decide to make a conscious effort to “leave” the lyrics for the time being and simply enjoy what I liked about the singing, practicing the shorter version of the above mentioned saying.
Gradually something started to shift and open up in me. I cannot pinpoint a particular moment or song, but there came a time when I began to connect with and feel what I would call the Sacred Essence of the lyrics/music combination, which – in my understanding - transcends any form of organized religion, and I was able to interpret the words to fit with my own developing faith in the Intelligence of the Universe, without any effort on my part. I feel as if this new way of interpreting the words was given to me as a personal gift from the Universe, to affirm Its Presence, to deepen my connection with IT. This is an ongoing process.
At the Midwest Convention this past weekend (April 28/29, 2012), I received some encouragement to keep expressing my thoughts/feelings, as I had previously done here (on the Sacred Harp e-group list). I want to take this opportunity to express my appreciation for this encouragement, because I still feel shy sometimes about stating my opinion, if there is a chance that someone might “take it the wrong way”. Perhaps you might simply consider this as an invitation to reflect a little on your own personal meaning of Sacred Harp in your life and how you express this at a singing event.
I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity last month to treat myself to an adventure: driving from Orangeville, Ontario to Hoboken, Georgia, with two singing friends sharing the drive/expenses, to attend the Annual Sacred Harp Cooper Book Singing there. At this moment, words seem rather inadequate to fully describe my experience of that weekend, but I will do my best.
I had seen the You Tube video “The Sacred Harp of Hoboken” (in two parts), all of little over ten minutes documenting Sacred Harp in this area of the country, on the edge of the Okefenokee swamps. I was VERY attracted to the slow steady beat, the deep, resonant sound of the voices, and the obvious and palpable connection between the music and the daily life of these people through David Lee’s sharing of his own experience. I knew I wanted a direct experience of this as soon as I saw it.
At the Friday evening social at David and Kathy Lee’s house, I approached David to share this with him, and speaking and listening to him, emotions welled up from deep inside of me that felt warm and comforting mixed with a kind of melancholic sadness and tears of gratitude and grief all mixed up together. I felt seen, understood and welcomed; a sense of coming HOME to where I had not been before, because I had been missing and at the same time longing for something like this all my life. This continued and deepened as the weekend progressed.
On Saturday evening was the Mars Hill Church singing from the Lloyd’s Hymnal, and there I was completely flooded with these emotions as we sang 687 Rock of Ages; I wept and did not try to stop the flow. I felt I was being cleansed. My special “souvenir” of that evening is my own Lloyd’s Hymnal, which David’s father, Johnny Lee gave to me as a present, when it turned out there were none left for sale. Then, during the Sunday service at Bear Creek Primitive Baptist Church, after some more singing from the Lloyd’s Hymnal, Clarke Lee mentioned in his preaching people who “do not have a church, but have found Sacred Harp instead”; again I felt seen and welcomed. Clarke and I had not exchanged any words at that point, and he did not know anything about my personal Sacred Harp journey!
There is something about the slowness of the Sacred Harp singing, Hoboken style, that touches me profoundly. I feel as if the measured pace allows the harmonies the time needed for that deep “touching”; it reminds me of Tai Chi, where the meditative slowness of the movements gives the art its effectiveness, reaching into the deeper tissues of the muscles, the bones and all the bodily systems, to promote health and well being in a holistic way, affecting not only the body and the mind but also the emotional/psychological and spiritual levels.
I feel some discomfort and hesitation sharing – again – my thoughts/feelings, questions and opinions about a couple of aspects that I do not like so much about large singing conventions I have attended in various parts of the country, while at the same time I do LOVE to hear the sound of MANY voices together, to be in the “energetic field” of a large gathering.
One word that sort of sums it all up for me could be “consumerism” (as I understand it), which seems to be rampant on this planet in general and making its presence felt even at large Sacred Harp conventions: get as much as you can in as short a time as possible, with the least amount of effort; loudest and fastest is “best”, even if it “hurts”; a feeling of rushing to get the most quantity, often at the expense of quality, the experience of which is, of course, a very subjective, personal one.
The quality of a Sacred Harp singing includes in my experience everything I have shared with you so far and am still going to share below, by which I mean that I am always aware of where I came from before I had ever heard of Sacred Harp, and the place it has had and continues to have since then in enriching and transforming my life – along with many other things I have done, studied, and experienced over the years. I feel immense Gratitude for having been “led” to Sacred Harp!
I feel, however, as if this quality is diminished by the overall faster pace of most large conventions in general and the leading of many songs in particular.
Interestingly, the Hoboken Singing attracted well over two hundred people (my guess), and I have to say that there I felt this quality that I connect with present in most of the songs that were led, just as I felt and saw and heard how deeply and personally connected the organizing people were to the spoken prayers and the music. The feeling of Family Tradition was so attractive to me there, having grown up in a very disjointed family myself. I felt the Lee Family at the core of this particular annual event and was particularly impressed when David introduced a young boy about to lead his song, as being one of the 7th generation of Sacred Harp singers there.
I want to clarify something: I do recognize and enjoy those songs which “lend themselves” to being sung at a faster pace, but not THAT fast! Not so fast that I can barely get the syllables out or pronounce the words! Words have meaning and a “vibrational quality”, when spoken/sung with connected breath and consciousness/Heart. The sounds/harmonies obviously have vibration, and I personally love to FEEL that vibration settle into the cells of my body, rather than just skim the surface at warp speed.
A quote from the Rudiments of the Sacred Harp, Denson 1991 edition:
- “Every word should be pronounced correctly and distinctly.”
Then there is the volume.
Sometimes certain songs are belted out so loudly that – aside from the impossibility of “accenting” – the sound quality, in my opinion, suffers as much as my ears do, and quite likely – I would think - the voices of those singing. I have no idea who ever came up with the idea that “if you can hear your neighbour singing, you’re not singing loud enough”, something I have heard spoken on a few occasions, but it’s definitely NOT mentioned in any of the books we sing from!
Another quote from the Rudiments of the Sacred Harp, Denson 1991 edition:
- “A musical tone is a continuous sound of pleasing quality…”; p. 13, Ch I, 1. – I understand that what is pleasing to me, may not be pleasing to another and vice versa.
- “The singing is usually strong, with a natural tendency for higher notes to be louder. This tendency must not be overdone.”; p. 20, Ch V, 2.
I understand that “democracy” and implied therein the rotation of leadership are corner stones of Sacred Harp conventions, and yet in this I also perceive a certain “dilution” of the Sacredness of this Tradition. I feel as if among the diversity of people now attending and organizing these conventions, much is gained from different people’s experiences, styles and skills, AND some things seem to be getting spread thin, if not lost altogether.
I will now attempt to take full ownership of my experience, by giving a specific example regarding pace:
One of my favourite songs was led at a pace probably at least three or four times faster than I would have led it myself, in order to really connect with the harmonies and the words as deeply as I need in order to feel this particular quality I am writing about. Steve looked over at me and said later that he saw me actually go pale and looking very sad when the song “took off”. In speaking to Steve about all this, I realize that this was true, even though I was not fully conscious of it at the time. I did indeed feel sad, even a little shocked, and now I realize (= to see with real eyes; the eyes of the Heart) the GIFT in this experience, and I see the Intelligence of the Universe at work here. I recognize that this sadness was being “triggered” by the “launching” of the song at this pace, but that it is actually quite an old sadness, a Spiritual emptiness, which Sacred Harp singing - among other things - has begun to fill. When I sing Sacred Harp, I put my Heart into it, and when a song is led too fast for my personal “need”, it triggers some of the as yet unhealed Heart-brokenness I have felt throughout my life. The gift is in the opportunity – given by the Universe – to FEEL this sadness fully, in order to INTEGRATE it and thereby heal from it and let go of it. And to do this integration as many times as it takes!
Deepening this process more consciously now, through this writing and dialogue with Steve, I can already feel a shift within me away from judging how others lead the songs towards more acceptance and tolerance. What a relief!
Having said all this, I do LOVE the Midwest Convention, the hospitality, the food, and of course the singing! I do understand how challenging it must be to organize such an event and to attempt to give as many people as possible an opportunity to lead. I myself know how disappointed I would feel, if I didn’t get a chance leading at least once during a weekend. I know certain people who voluntarily “give up” leading at large conventions, to give others their turn – I am not yet one of those!
At a recent Tai Chi event, the instructor encouraged us to share our experiences and insights with each other, because they are valuable and can broaden others’ perspective and understanding of their own experiences. In sharing my thoughts with Steve, my own perspective has become broader, and my understanding of my own experience has been enriched and deepened, beyond what I expected when I began this writing. I intend to continue this inner “process” with compassion for myself and others who may (or may not) resonate with my experiences, and also with growing tolerance and acceptance especially for those people, whom I may at times perceive as “offenders” regarding pace and volume!
I would be interested in hearing other perspectives, esp. from those who seem to enjoy singing really fast and extra loud. What – if anything – is behind those tendencies/preferences?
In closing, I would like to offer my sincere Gratitude and Appreciation to all who have worked so hard to preserve this Tradition, when it was at the brink of disappearing, for my own singing Voice, my Sacred Harp has been restored to me!
~ Nicoletta
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"Authentic Joy knows that as happiness is a time for
laughter, rest, and play, our moments of seeming
unhappiness are necessary for growth, introspection,
and gaining strength for our eternal journey... Joy is not
about feeling good; it is about feeling everything."
~ Michael Brown, "The Essence", p. 20
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Robert Vaughn
His glories sing,
Mount Enterprise, TX
http://baptistsearch.blogspot.com
Ask for the old paths, where is the good way
http://mtcarmelbaptist.blogspot.com
For ask now of the days that are past...
http://oldredland.blogspot.com
Give ear, all ye inhabitants of the land.
From: S. Nicoletta Rogers <s_nic...@rogers.com>
To: fasola-di...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 2, 2012 3:51 PM
Subject: [fasola-discussions] A Personal Sacred Harp Journey
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Porter
I'm very much of several different and often conflicting minds regarding the pacing of Sacred Harp tunes, be it in conventions, smaller singings or even (may the purists forbid!) concert settings.
The slow and languorous approach is indeed a beautiful and warming one. It gives us the time and ability to dig in and find the nuances of a piece and appreciate the resonance of the music and of each other's surrounding voices. And when done just right, it is an amazing soul shakedown and full-body shakeup.
Often though instead of mellifluous and romantic, I think the effect can frequently be rather dull, plodding and monotonous, especially in convention settings. I am generally (though not exclusively) of the opinion that while it may be easier for one to learn a song at a slower pace, such an approach also requires singers to be much more accomplished and familiar with the piece in order to effectively pull it off.
Beyond that however, though there are certain songs I absolutely love to sing at a crawling pace, I am rarely comfortable leading them that way, feeling too self-indulgent and preferring to bow to tradition or perceived consensus.
But there is nevertheless so much to be said for fast and furious and raucous. It is specifically the gift of flight that that approach imparts which I crave, which calls me back again and again. And before you know it, the song is sung, over and done. An exhilarating, fleeting moment. I find something very poignant in that. And of course it's easier to sneak an extra verse in there too.
All that said, I will forever be of the opinion that conventions sing the verses of 455 Soar Away much too quickly and the chorus way way way too slowly. But that's probably just the Vermonter in me opining.
Fondly,
~ Porter.
Venice, California
On May 2, 2012, at 1:51 PM, S. Nicoletta Rogers wrote:
> A Personal Sacred Harp Journey
>
>
> ************************************
S. Nicoletta Rogers
~ Nicoletta
************************************
"Authentic Joy knows that as happiness is a time for
laughter, rest, and play, our moments of seeming
unhappiness are necessary for growth, introspection,
and gaining strength for our eternal journey... Joy is not
about feeling good; it is about feeling everything."
~ Michael Brown, "The Essence", p. 20
No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 2012.0.1913 / Virus Database: 2425/4981 - Release Date: 05/06/12
STaylor
this music has touched your life. Thanks you so much for sharing
this. I think many of us have our own personal experiences like this
with Sacred Harp. A few years ago my wife started losing her mind.
She was diagnosed with psychotic depression, which doesn't really
convey (I don't think) the intensity of just how horrible the
situation was. During the worst of it she was paranoid to the point
of being completely out of touch with reality. Some people here might
know what it is like to live with and care for an insane person. It
is hard to explain what it does to you, so I won't even try. But, in
the midst of all those years, God strengthened me and spoke to me
through the Sacred Harp. More importantly, when circumstance made it
difficult to perceive God's presence, His love and power was always
visible through the Sacred Harp music and community.
Steven Taylor
Valdosta GA