Fw: [Parenting ABC] Being Flexible to Enjoy Life
M Chen
-----Original Message-----
From: Winnis Chiang
Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 11:59 PM
To: mark chen
Subject: [Parenting ABC] Being Flexible to Enjoy Life
TIPS FROM PARENTING ABC
Winnis Chiang, M.A., MFT
Volume VIII, Issue 1, January 2012
THIS ISSUE: Being Flexible for Life
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Dear mark,
Welcome to another edition of newsletter from Parenting ABC. If you
prefer to read ONLY Chinese, check out Chinese articles (not
identical to the English newsletters) at
http://WinnisChiang.blogspot.com ... Otherwise, please read on.
January 2012 is almost over. While I felt disappointed at myself
for not publishing this newsletter sooner, I knew I tried my best
in the last few weeks with many things happening. For examples:
(1) Our son and his family is back from Africa for a visit.
(2) Christmas, New Year, Birthdays, Chinese New Year celebrations
with families, friends, fellowships and churches.
(3) Attending Memorial service for the sister who fought lung
cancer for years.
(4) James started his pastorate at a new church on New Year Day.
(5) James was sick for 1 day, a week later I was sick for 4 days.
(6) James and I traveled to Cologne, Germany to serve a church
there.
For a moment, I thought about giving up my deadline. My old habits
of perfectionism and procrasination kicked in, but I replaced them
with new habits I developed from the CHANGE model I teach clients
from Dr. David Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH (pre-)marital counseling.
Commit yourself to a special goal.
Habits ... break old and start new habits.
Action ... take one step at a time.
Never give up ... lapses might occur
Goal-oriented ... focus on the positive
Evaluate and reward yourself.
I reminded myself that my goal is to give some practical tips on
relating to self, others, and God every month. It does not have to
be perfect and extensive. I need to change my habits and take
action. Just write a short newsletter. As I focused, I felt more
relax and words came out.
My plan changed many times since December 15, 2011. During our
Thursday night Skype session, our son told us they might received
his residence visa in two days. If so, they could visit us while
attending some business matters.
Although I did not want to build up false hope, I started clearing
space and cleaning the house the next morning.
On Saturday morning, they called. Indeed God gave them grace to get
a visa, to buy tickets, and fly back (with 12 hours notice). 30
hours later they arrived at SFO.
James dropped me off outside the baggage claim area. Eagerly I went
in and located the carosal where their bags were to arrive. I stood
by the escalators and watched. First, I saw my son, then I saw his
wife standing behind, holding the baby boy in a pouch, but I did
not see my granddaughter.
Puzzled, I walked to the landing place. There she was, standing on
the other side of her Ba Ba, holding his hand. When the
three-year-old saw me, she called out loudly, "Nai Nai, Nai Nai"
and rushed into my arms as soon as she landed. After holding her
for some time, I was handed my grandson, now a 25-pound baby.
Having them in the house caused me to have second thought about
going to Germany to support the same church in Cologne where we
served last summer. . But it was a commitment we made many months
ago, and our new church had graciously endorsed James for traveling
during his first week. I wished I could be in two places at the
same time.
We celebrated Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with families. James
preached at our new church and we shared meals together. That
night, James started to throw up. I had to clean up the carpet and
changed beddings in the middle of the night.
As I was cleaning, a similar incident came to mind. In 1994, I was
pondering whether to accept the call to be a deaconess at our
church. One night before the decision deadline, James and our son
both threw up in the middle of the night. As I was running around
taking care of them and cleaning things up, I asked God, "If I
cannot even take care of one son, how could I take care of so many
children in our church?" The answer came clearly through a verse I
remembered, "My grace is sufficient for you..." (2 Corinthians 12:9).
God's grace is always sufficient. I gave thanks and prayed. James
recovered after one day. Our family attended the memorial service
of our dear sister on the last day of the year. Then our whole
family (grandchildren included) attended James' first official
worship service as the pastor of our new church on Sunday, January
1, 2012.
The night before, it was my turn of stomach flu. At one point, I
had to go to the bathroom so often that I was sure I could not
leave for Cologne on January 5. When James attended our church's
prayer meeting on Wednesday night, I was crying in bed, telling God
that I really wanted to go. Then I got out of bed and asked my son
and daughter-in-law to pray with me for the Lord's will.
The next morning, our son drove us to the airport. The Lord gave us
two pleasant surprises that day. We were welcomed into the frequent
flyer lounge and we were upgraded to business class. I really felt
like a princess!
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or
that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money."
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your
life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then
vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we
will live and do this or that." (James 4:13-15)
This letter might have typos and grammatical mistakes, but I'm
going to send it out. I want to hold on to God's love and grace
instead of relying on myself. If you like reading Chinese, read my
article on "Grace Awakening" at
http://winnischiang.blogspot.com/2010/12/blog-post_08.html
Happy New Year!
Winnis
For Chinese articles and English newsletter archive, go to:
http://winnischiang.blogspot.com
http://parentingabcnewsletterinenglish.blogspot.com
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Reprinting this Article and Contacting Winnis
You can use the articles from [Parenting ABC] as long as you
include a complete attribution and, whenever possible, a live link
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will appear. The attribution should include this information:
Winnis Chiang, LMFT and founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in
helping Mandarin and Cantonese speaking high-tech Christian parents
to get along with, enjoy, equip and influence their American born
Chinese children.
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