Where to now

[Len]

So confused about what is happening to me. Depression too strong
thoughts of suicide too feeling completely blase' about what is going
on. My marriage of 11 years has recently failed and have been
seperated now for 9 months and it looks like its heading to divorce.
Main reason given and i am in agreement is me not communicating on
deeper issues or expressing my opinions. I think i have always been a
run of the mill type of guy, nothing fazing me, have never got excited
over things that don't seem important, never getting upset/venting/
angry over things that i should. My wife used to even deliberatly try
to start an argument just to get a reaction out of me. Blank faced
made her even more angry and so it would continue. She would get upset
if i did not apologies or say sorry for something that i dont think i
should apologies for, trivial things that in the real world are
meaningless. As a result she feels that I am not caring, but I know I
am, just cant seem to tell her. Is this because I'm afraid in a
response, am i a coward for not speaking my mind. I have been on
drugs, (citilopram etc) for depression but these drugs seem to have a
greater adverse effect than sorting my mind out. I have joined this
group for a sharing point of view with the hope that this condition i
think i have will slowly disapate and leave me alone. I dont want to
be like this! i get so envious with people that just talk and are
open.

[Wendy]

Dear Len

Thank for sharing with us. From reading this, it appears to me that you are communicating very well your current pain and hurt.

Maybe you find it easier to write stuff down than to talk?

I find writing regularly in a journal can be a positive experience, it's amazing what comes out when reading back.

You are a unique individual, you don't need to be like whatever some people classify as "normal". I would encourage you to work with what you have been given.

Take care.

Wendy

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The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future (Dale Turner)

[Len]

Wendy
Did you or still do feel like your mind is full of things to say but
just cant seems to string a sentence together to say how/what you
feel. It totally consumes me. This is the first time i have in fact
written down what is happening after coming across this site searching
on the web. I am going to consider starting a journal what im thinking
but will that really help me to start express how I feel verbally. It
seems a selfish way to keeping my thoughts to myself which ironically
I dont want to do. Problem that gets to me is I have always wanted
quick results but know this condition in understanding, and accepting
it can take a long time to sort out. Baby steps? Cant afford to take
them as I feel time is running out.

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[Wendy]

Dear Len

I have to go out now but I will get back to you later.

Wendy

> For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/exchange-forum?hl=en.

["Didyouknow...."]

I recommend you learn to relax.

oh, hi, len and wendy, welcome.

I recommend you learn to relax, meditation or relaxation technique.
It's the only thing that seems to work for me. I'm not so stressed,
headache's 90% gone, don't clam up when people invade my personal
space, can share a laugh in groups, anxiety's gone, can make a mistake
or fopa and don't dwell on it and keep going over it in my mind
driving me nut's. and the best part is it's as if those thing's never
were a problem, like you only notice when thing's aren't flowing. I've
recommended this all before on this site but i repeat it here because
I think it's one of the few thing's you can actually do that has come
from this site.
I'm not promising your problem's will melt away but they won't tear
you up so much.

[sparx104]

I have problems with being "worked up" and having thoughts go round-
and-round without being to concentrate on them or make any sense/
coherence. It appears to be related to stress and "pent up" emotion
(which I have no idea of *what* or any control over it). It also
seems to trigger the fight-or-flight response due to severe stress.

I don't recommend my way to "cope" but some of the supposedly less
severe ways may work as a means of "discharging":

* Hit pillows/punch bag etc
* Rip up a phone book or something
* Get some paper & a pen and just scribble as hard as you can.

Basically, use controlled violence to try to discharge whatever's
going on inside - make sure you don't go too far tho (I have broken
furniture which can testify to that). Of course, this only applies to
that specific way of "feeling" (eg. "worked up") - it doesn't work on
others unfortunately)

In my case once I've managed to "discharge" (using razor blades
unfortunately - in my case they do work in other situations... - don't
go that way if you can avoid it). I find that the thoughts start to
become more coherent and I can write them down.

If you want to start a journal you could start a blog. There's plenty
of services which will let you set up one anonymously and you'd be
writing to "the world" which can be different to just writing in a
book for yourself.

Of course, I may have got the wrong end of the stick. In which case,
feel free to totally ignore this.

[scienceteacher]

Hi,  I'm curious how you are doing since your last post.  Please update us if you feel the need.  Thanks!