At what age should women in this morden society nowadays get married?

[NgoNam]

Hi all,

 

The youth nowadays, especially women, seem to be more interested in pursuing the success in their career rather than finding a sweetheart and getting married. In the past, girls and boys used to getting married at the age of around 22-23. Over 25 years old girls without a boyfriend is consider to be in danger of living alone through all their life. However the circumstance has been changed for some decades when many women were successful in their career both in the world of politics and business. They tend to delay getting married because many have to gain some professional certificates such as ACCA, CFA, CPA, Master and PhD, etc, which require them 3 to 5 years to complete after graduation from university. This is a very common trend in our country, many of my friends seem to be like that ^_^

 

What about you? When did/will you get married? At what age should women get married? What is your point of view about this circumstance?

 

I'm curiously looking forward to knowing your view soon!

 

Regards,

NgoNam

[Thuy Nguyen]

Hi Nam and everyone,

 

Your  question is very interesting. I think one of the important factor inspring Vietnamse people in general and Vietnamese women in particular to get international certificates such as CFA, ACCA is the investment of giant corporations such as KPMG, PWC, HSBC, STANDARD CHATERBANK in Vietnam . The demand for high-quality labours of these corporations encourages more Vietnamese people to study to cope with international working environments. Furthermore, the development of the Internet today also allows people access the materials to study easier. 

Secondly, different people might have different interests. Some people have great passion for studying which can make them devote all their time studying. One of my friends said that her favourite hobby is tudying. She can learn study any time, any where, Therefore, it is understandable if some women put their study or carrer higher than family. 

 

2009/5/14 NgoNam <ngot...@gmail.com>

[Josney Ribeiro]

I think they should get married as sooner as they can. Once they are legally possible!

[NgoNam]

Hi,

 

I totally agree with you that the youth, both boys and girls, nowadays care much about the success in their career and obviously they must spend their time and efford to reach their target. However, do you think that success is a long-term goal while getting married is the obligation of the youth under the age of 30? When people, especially women exceed a certain age, it would be much more difficult for them to find the Mr.Right, and sometimes it's harder than being successful in their career ^_^ Many women couldn't find their partner when they've gotten the highest peak of their career ^_^

At what age do you think women should be worried when they didn't find their partners? haha

[NgoNam]

haha, great idea. but why do you think so, Josney?

Are you married or still single? I guess that you're an old father having some delayed-action boms who are at the age of getting married but they still prefer living with you rather than finding their darling :)) Is that right? haha

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Josney Ribeiro

To: eslpo...@googlegroups.com

Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 11:38 AM

Subject: [ESL Podcast] Re: At what age should women in this morden society nowadays get married?

[Thuy Nguyen]

Hi Nam and everyone,

 

I agree with you that it might be more difficult for women to find the Mr Right if they are over 28. In fact, many people have to look for match-makers to arrange some appointments for them when they can't find their partners. I don't know whether in the future I will fall in this situation or not? Hihi.
I think the appropriate time for women to get married is the age of 27 as according to Vietnamese culture, women should avoid getting married at the age of 23, 26 and 28. 

By the way, are there any customs in marriage in your country? I am looking forward to hearing your voice

2009/5/14 NgoNam <ngot...@gmail.com>

2009/5/14 NgoNam <ngot...@gmail.com>

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[Josney Ribeiro]

Well, it's not for any of the 'suggested' reasons. I think girls should find their Prince Charming as quicker as possible. Finding and getting married to him doesn't mean that you'll have kids. It means that you're going to share debts, and make life more affordable to both of them.

2009/5/14 NgoNam <ngot...@gmail.com>

[NgoNam]

We have two kinds of answer here, one (from Ms Thuy) is that the appropriate age for women to get married is around 27, meanwhile, accoding to Mr Josney these delayed-actions boms should explode as soon as possible. Which one do you prefer or choose to adopt? ^_^ any other point of view?

 

cheers,

[NgoNam]

We have two kinds of answer here, one (from Ms Thuy) is that the appropriate age for women to get married is around 27, meanwhile, accoding to Mr Josney these delayed-actions boms should explode as soon as possible. Which one do you prefer or choose to adopt? ^_^ any other point of view?

 

Ms Thuy, what do you think about the idea of Josney, he think that when couples get married, they can share their debts and make their life more affordable. I think you have a good argument for this ^_^

 

cheers,

[pln471]

Hi Mam Thuy Josney and all others,

Thuy,could you tell us why women in Vietnam should avoid getting
married specifically at the age of 23,26 or 29?

It reminds me of what Chinese believe that it's bad luck to get
married or even celebrate their birthdays when they reach the 9th of
their ages.(e.g.29,39,69,etc)

Josney has a point there that if you have a plan to get married and
have children,then the earlier,the better!
But,I don't agree with him that you should get married in order to
share the morgages,debts or loans if you don't intend to have
children.

To stay single and be financially independent is a wiser thing to
do...especially for a woman.
Unless whom you're about to marry is a great-catch,then that's totally
another story.Am I right,Josney?LOL

It takes about 3 to 5 years to climb up the ladder of the
hierachy.Let's say after graduation from the university,you're about
22,then it takes 5 years to stablize your position at the company you
work for.
Is that how Thuy thinks that women should get married at the age of
27?

I would rather say that they should get married 3 years after
graduation which means when they are 25,then have children when they
are 28 or before they turn 30.

When does a woman's biological clock click?!;)If you know the
answer,then that's when she realizes it's urgent for her to find a man
to have a child/children with and spend the rest of her life with...

Nam,your topic reminds me of the American sit-coms"FRIENDS"!;) And if
you want to know if Prince Charming and his Princess will live happily
after,you should watch another older series"THIRTY-SOMETHING"!;)

And before I forget,Pablo,I've been too busy lately to reply to your
thread...:(
I'm afraid I'll have to do it hopefully next Monday.
I'll just say first now that you have a darlingly mischievious
daughter...playing a prank joke on you like that!LOL
I can't imagine when soon she'll be a teenager,how you're going to
cope with her cleverness,moodiness and stubborness?!;)

Great weekend to all of us wherever we are!
Pln

On May 14, 8:49 am, Thuy Nguyen <nguyenthuy031...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Nam and everyone,
>
> I agree with you that it might be more difficult for women to find the Mr
> Right if they are over 28. In fact, many people have to look for
> match-makers to arrange some appointments for them when they can't find
> their partners. I don't know whether in the future I will fall in
> this situation or not? Hihi.
> I think the appropriate time for women to get married is the age of 27 as
> according to Vietnamese culture, women should avoid getting married at the
> age of 23, 26 and 28.
> By the way, are there any customs in marriage in your country? I am looking
> forward to hearing your voice

> 2009/5/14 NgoNam <ngotri...@gmail.com>

>
>
>
>
>
> >  Hi,
>
> > I totally agree with you that the youth, both boys and girls, nowadays care
> > much about the success in their career and obviously they must spend their
> > time and efford to reach their target. However, do you think that success is
> > a long-term goal while getting married is the obligation of the youth under
> > the age of 30? When people, especially women exceed a certain age, it would
> > be much more difficult for them to find the Mr.Right, and sometimes it's
> > harder than being successful in their career ^_^ Many women couldn't find
> > their partner when they've gotten the highest peak of their career ^_^
> > At what age do you think women should be worried when they didn't find
> > their partners? haha
>
> > ----- Original Message -----

> > *From:* Thuy Nguyen <nguyenthuy031...@gmail.com>
> > *To:* eslpo...@googlegroups.com
> > *Sent:* Thursday, May 14, 2009 11:36 AM
> > *Subject:* [ESL Podcast] Re: At what age should women in this morden

> > society nowadays get married?
>
> > Hi Nam and everyone,
>
> > Your  question is very interesting. I think one of the important factor
> > inspring Vietnamse people in general and Vietnamese women in particular to
> > get international certificates such as CFA, ACCA is the investment of giant
> > corporations such as KPMG, PWC, HSBC, STANDARD CHATERBANK in Vietnam . The
> > demand for high-quality labours of these corporations encourages
> > more Vietnamese people to study to cope with international working
> > environments. Furthermore, the development of the Internet today also
> > allows people access the materials to study easier.
> > Secondly, different people might have different interests. Some people have
> > great passion for studying which can make them devote all their time
> > studying. One of my friends said that her favourite hobby is tudying. She
> > can learn study any time, any where, Therefore, it is understandable
> > if some women put their study or carrer higher than family.
>

> > 2009/5/14 NgoNam <ngotri...@gmail.com>

> Email: Nguyenthuy031...@gmail.com
> Another email:Thuynt2.pgb...@petrolimex.com.vn<email%3AThuynt2.pgb...@petrolimex.com.vn>- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[Rafael Oshiro]

Hi all!

It's common to hear that men are afraid of women financially independent, because women would be more powerful. The culture we grow up with says that man has to be the leader and support the family, mainly financially. Do you agree with that?

I don't agree completely, but I believe the world changed and it's been more often to see women earning more than men, since women are reaching higher positions in great companies, in politics and so forth.

Pln, you have a point when you say that we take about five years to be stabilized professionally and in my point of view, when a woman or a man gets married, they change their goals. They let their desire to invest in their carriers in order to focus more on the family, the children, the house. That's the reason I believe the best age to get married is when the couple are stabilized, or about that (It's hard to know when one is stabilized, ritgh? LOL).

Great topic NgoNam!

Oshiro

[NgoNam]

Hi,

 

Thank Rafael Shiro very much for your ideas, your contribution as well as your stimulation. I'm very glad to know that actually ^_^

 

I don't know exactly what other people from diverse culture think about this situation. In my own point of view, getting married is one of 3 biggest events of any men in their life. These 3 crucial events are : number 1: to get married, number two : to build (or to buy) a house; and the last : buying a buffalo. In the morden world nowadays, the first two responsibilities remain the same, yet the last one has been changed a little. It is no longer a buffalo but a car instead (as expensive as possible ^_^). And these events shuld be done at the right time. I think the right age for men to get married ranges from 26 to 30 while that for women should be from 23 to 27. As girls are often more passitive in love than men and they have a bigger responsility for building up their family, I suppose that they should get married earlier than men. I don't mean that men has less responsibility in their family but women often have to spend a lot more time for their family in tasks like doing housework, taking care of their children...

 

In our culture, the main role of women is to build and maintain a warm family, the role of men is almost making money to support all the family. That is also one of the reasons why, according to Rafael Oshiro, men are often afraid of women who are financially independent. I partly agree with Rafael about this, however not all men are like this. Some have a very open-minded; they don't limit the development of their wife because of being afraid of losing the leading role in their family. Nevertheless wise wives know how to satisfy their husband by not lowering their husband's role in the family but heightening it instead. My cousin, a very successful businessman, told me that his wife seems to be more agile than him in most stages but he never feel sad about that because he are always proud of his logic ability. Whenever his wife need to make any decisions, she always ask him for advices, and in most case, she finds a better solution after asking his advices ^_^ This is a very common situation in our society and I think it is acceptable and reasonable. ^^

 

In the world these days, men and women are equal in terms of law, yet in traditional culture terms, men should hold the leading role in their family. They should be strong and sophisticated enough to drive their family over vast difficulties and making important decision when necessary. Wife and husband hold different significant role in a family. They should try to play their role perfectly rather than taking the role of the another.

 

That is just my point of view. What about you? what do you think about the role of wife and husband in a family? Curiously to know your opinion ^_^

 

Best regards,

NgoNam

[claire]

Dear all,

It's a pity that there aren't enough out-spoken female members here to
express herself on this discussion...:(

Out of countless women I've got to meet from Asian,American and
European countries or according to what I've read in books,magazines
or newspapers and have watched on TV,the roles of women have changed
dramatically.

No offense,so many male members here,but one thing sad to say is that
men haven't adapted to the new trend as fast as women.Many women share
the same view with me that men don't evolve fast enough.

And that's why so many women in their late 20's in the world are
still unwilling to settle down,get married or have children...
They simply know that once they get married,their lives most certainly
won't be better than when they are single.They need to sacrifice more
than their spouses in regard to taking the challenging role as a
wife,then a mother.

I'm not saying that women nowadays should be selfish.I'm just saying
that in order to blame women on not getting married or having
children,the governments should provide a whole package of social
security for babies,children,both working mothers and their
husbands.So the burdens of parental life will not be solely carried by
married couples who are courageous enough to bear children,and if they
are still ambitious or capable of pursuing their career,it's
beneficial for the ecomony of the societies,too.

Women I have known and heard of,who are doctors,professors,lawyers,in
managerial positions or even on the managing board are extremely
flexible and multi-asking.Quite often,when they return home,their
spouses' and children's well-being come first.They do all what's
necessary to satisfy their family's needs.

I wish all men who are fathers could swap with their wives and
experience for just one day how it feels to be a career women and a
caring wife and mother...;)



Nice day,everyone!
Claire

>     Pln- Hide quoted text -