catch erlang:send(Process, {Label, {self(), Mref}, Request},
                  [noconnect]),
            receive
                {Mref, Reply} ->
                    erlang:demonitor(Mref, [flush]),
                    {ok, Reply};
                {'DOWN', Mref, _, _, noconnection} ->
                    exit({nodedown, Node});
                {'DOWN', Mref, _, _, Reason} ->
                    exit(Reason)

If the callee is something like a gen_server, and on handling that msg
returns a {stop, Reply, Reason, State} quple, there seems to be a race
between the reply and the monitor. Or more simply, say the callee does
something like:

receive {'$gen_call', From, _Msg} -> gen_server:reply(From, done) end.

There seems to be a race - what's stopping the DOWN from the monitor
overtaking the reply from the callee?

The only thing that I can think of is that the DOWN is considered to
come *from* the callee. Is that right?

Matthew