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Say 'Yes' to Plastics ....Corruption and everything your mom warned you about...
Oh yeah .. i promise, by the end of this article you will be chanting YES to everything from corruption, to burning oil to keeping your lights switched ON and even legalise gambling !
the only thing i want to say 'No' to is self-hypocrisy ... the belief of 'being holier than though' as if everybody else around me is BAD and Im the last angel standing ;-)
And Oh yes - the disclaimers : In this article i would be pushing the bars a way notch higher .. Expect uneasy feelings, stomach rumblings,dizziness and vomiting sensations. Please take a tablet and read on to the end - if you haven't collapsed (with guilt or laughter or sudden cardiac arrest) by the end of this article , i would consider my job undone. - venky
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First - The Say 'Yes' to Plastic campaign ....
before i became a subjiwallah , i often read articles of how plastic bags choke our sewers and land fill and why they should be banned etc, and i would go 'yeah man .. screw them'. But after i flipped sides, now i see the REAL issue .. this is just BS! The activists are saying 'NO' to 'plastic bags-primarily-used-by-roadside-shopkeepers' but if you expand it and start saying 'can we say NO to PLASTICS in true sense?' .. think again .. the computer you are using to read this article is mainly plastic body parts... oh dont touch that mouse dude.. there is no 'real tail' to that.. and yeah before you call someone to tell them about what a shitty email venky has written this time, the PHONE parts are all plastic too...
OK i know you are getting a bit nervous and run to kitchen now to drink some water .. wait ! the '100% PURE mineral water' is PACKED in a PLASTIC container ! Now u go dizzy .. all the nice tupperware your mom/wife have assmbled all around - ALL PLASTIC ... you say this is crazy and run yo your car .. sorry man - over 70% of car body is plastic though it comes in 'earth green colour'...
well i can go on ... but can we really say NO to plastics when we are NECK deep in all things artificial ? Will coke change their bottles and sell them in tetrapacks ? (Oh by the way , when you peel off the tetra pack there is layers plastic lining there too !!) Will you BAN your BMW and go bio-degradable bullock cart way ?
Hyporcracy Number #1 - BUSTED ;-) We are all part of the problem dude.. not part of the solution .. atleast not yet .. come on . say 'YES' to plastics ... your LIFE runs on it !
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Next , thing which really makes amusing reading are these 'awareness' campaigns which go like 'switch off your lights for 10 minutes on oct 10th 2010' or some such fancy number like 11/11/11 and 12/12/12 and we will all save SOO much power .. Oh yeah .. tell that to a guy who has TWO hours mandatory load shedding EVERY F&^%$ DAY while the up-tight-socialite lives in a 24 hr fulltime power supply VVIP zone with realtime generator backup !! Some bigtime bollywood superstar has a candle in hand and says how he saved enough to run a bulb .. and then you see in next day page 3 their full blown punjabi wedding for which half the city's power was cut !
Just in case you thought going solar or alternate energy is CLEAN .. well, if you see net impact of what they have caused to generate that clean green mean look .. you will say George Bush Jr is a saint ;-) I can say more.. but then i already have enough goons already on my doorstep , why add a few from the 'clean energy' mafia as well ! ;-)
I dont know about you, but Im going to BLAST my AC in FULL setting , coz i dunno if i will sweat to death in next powercut or live this moment of what little is available !
Hypocrazy Number 2# - BUSTED -- say 'YES' to FULLTU FATAX 'POWER ON' baby ...
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and now, the mother of all things - Say NO to corruption campaign
what the %$#@ .. No, the netas have not paid me to write this .. i wish they DO , because i REALLY admire politicians man.. it takes real macho GUTS to be one .
See, people have a very small definition of corruption - a person asking bribe to complete a job which otherwise doesn't get done . But this is just a loose definition . Let's extend this further .. if we just change the term 'bribe' to 'professional fees fpr faster guaranteed service' we can see that in almost EVERY professional field - from courier service to investment bankers , there is always a 'slow track process' and a 'express /guaranteed process' where the latter demands premium ! And the mecca of all money laundering - no not switzerland - OUR OWN TIRUPATHI BALAJI temple - special darshan, VVIP darshan, normal darshan - just by calling it 'ticket' doesn't dilute that fact that even GOD takes commission to 'fast track' your queue ... and then conveniently all your 'papam' can be wiped off for a 'small token donation in the hundi'... Now who will even (blasphemous to even think) of arresting HIM ?!
Second this whole Anna hazare campaign for corruption free India .. look, i LIKE this man.. he is cute .. almost comical, like rk laxman's comman man ... and it was nice to see 'flash crowds' driven by facebook campaigns and twitterati spiraling an unknown person to sudden international prominence... tell me frankly , How many of you ACTUALLY knew who Anna Hazare was or what he did 2 weeks prior to his fast to death stunt ?
It is easy to just point fingers at everyone .. and quite expectedly the fingers have started pointing back, and now the 'clean men' are scampering for cover. Dudes, this is 'Kali Yuga' - nobody is balck or white .. we are ALL shades of grey ... we only differ in scales of corruption .
"I am 20+ youth and im all clean man " - you say .. oh , nice - well didn;t your parents pay a 'non refundable building fund' to get you into KINDERGARDEN - well even pre-schools demand donations now. Your journey into bribery started even before u could speak your first syllable son. And then in each class as you passed - even if you get that borderline 33% PASS , was backed with a cycle all the way to motor cycle. And college seats in your favourite school in the favourite department so that you could hang out with your friends - "your dad sweated out his check books". All hoping that you would 'repay them in kind by taking care of them when they get old' .. vested interests ?? Now what do you do... your skype buddy from greece wants to emigrate to USA and you happily stand in queue in teh emabbasy , curse India for all its evils and land in 'land of opportunities' - a country whose primary economy is in drugs, sex and war. and YOU, say India's politicians are corrupt ? dude .. wash your face and see yourslef in mirror ....
Though there is so much noise about 2G scam and phone tappings all over , one slient statistic which is going unnoticed is that now EVERY INDIAN ADULT (750 Million and growing) in India has a phone in theire hands , or has access to one very much within their reach . The biggest social change i see in India - is hte fact that now people can communicate, do business, all for les than a rupee .
It is like churning of the ocan of milk in our vedas - where devas and asuras churn the ocean using a serpent ... lot of dirt comes out initially i am not worried about the poison .. im happy that the churning is producing nectar which will justify the whole churning process !
Hypocrazy number 3 : the 'corruption' campaign ? - silenced .
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So , what does one concur from this ? Do we just sit quietly and watch the total denigration of natural resources, society and do nothing ? well, i feel that we have so far been part of the 'problem' and further sucked into mutual finger pointing and haven't rellay stepped out to even attempt a 'real' solution .
I often find it funny that after doing all the damage, man can still claim that he can 'fix' the ozone layer, 'clean the oil slick' and 'brush off nuclear dust' off this planet.
Im reminded of this line in Matrix where the 'machine' agent Smith tells Morpheus " The Human race is like a Virus. Becuase other organisms and species typicaly grow in sycn with nature and only take in what they need. Only a virus and humans just suck up everyhting even beyond their necessity.. and then move to another place and continue this...The human race is a 'disease' "....
But just this time.. there is no Neo to save the human race. I see Nature rumbling to correct this little imbalance.. earthquakes, tsunamis , eruptions ... all signs that if we continue to mis-read the signs , a complete shutdown/restart is emminent. With all the 2012 predictions already clogged, i feel this is less of a prediction and more a logical 'cure' ... say what do you do when you get too many bugs/virus in your windows PC and everything HANGS ... you dont 'fix it''.. you just shut it down and restart .. magically lot of problems do go away ...
nature's fingers are on the 'shutdown' buttun now . Save what you can in hard disk .. or we will just be a faint 'random memory' ...
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P.S : if any of the corporates, politicians or PR firms want to approach me for payments/kickbacks you can send it by wire transfer. I dont have swiss bank account, only a simple SB with ICICI, .. can you also add 2.5% surcharge for wireXfer above 5 lakhs - thanks.