All American Jort Jamboree

[Ashley Hopwood]

Gentle people of the ECCC,

Some of you may have noticed the fine selection of Jorts (jean shorts
for those of you that don’t know) that have been on display for the
past several weekends and increasingly as the sun has come out. It is
this incredible phenomenon that has inspired the first annual Jort-
off.

The JO is scheduled for Saturday April 23 after the Men’s A Crit race.
There will be an individual and team category. A panel of very
qualified judges will score each participant and team based on the
following criteria:

- Jort length- the shorter the better (no genitalia exposure)
- overall quality of cutoff fray
- tanline exposure and definition
- quality and quantity of embellishments and accessories (including
facial hair)
- distance between waistband and nipples (the higher the Jorts the
better)
- lack of leg hair (shave them smooth!)
- lack of mobility (you should not be able to stretch in them)

Each contestant will be placed and given points accordingly. They will
then be combined for the team winner. First place individual will
receive a sweet prize and first place team will receive the glory.

We expect to see your A game out there. Go get ‘em!