The overall cost of your divorce can be impacted by several behaviors
you may be able to control. When a marriage dissolves there are
several important topics that need to be addressed and sorted out such
as child custody and visitation, division of property, and support.
Recognizing the following 4 behaviors and how to manage them ahead of
time may be able to help your divorce lawyer properly gather the
information he/she needs to put your case together and can reduce your
divorce costs at the same time. (1) Having unclear objectives(2) Being
overly enmeshed in your case(3) Using your lawyer as a therapist(4)
Expecting justice in the courts Having unclear objectivesOne of the
biggest mistakes you can make at the outset of your divorce is to not
know what it is you hope to accomplish. Before you begin filing or
responding to divorce motions, you would be wise to discuss your
goals, objectives, and what results you can likely expect with your
divorce lawyer. Having such a discussion with your divorce lawyer can
help reduce the chances of unnecessary litigation, help you understand
what you can likely expect through your divorce, and what the costs
may likely be. Being overly enmeshed in your caseDivorce typically
deals with topics that bring about high emotions and intensity, which
may result in a spouse becoming overly indulged or enmeshed in his/her
case. When this happens, it is not uncommon for a spouse to supply
large amounts of irrelevant research material to his/her divorce
lawyer, which can drive up the costs of attorney fees. Additionally, a
spouse that is enmeshed in his/her case, may begin micromanaging their
divorce lawyer's work, which can create more work for his/her divorce
lawyer and be counter productive. Setting clear objectives and goals
and knowing what to expect from your divorce lawyer in advance can
help reduce the tendency to become overly enmeshed in your case. Using
your lawyer as a therapistDue to the high emotions that typically go
along with divorce, it is not uncommon for spouses to begin venting or
discussing problems they had in their marriage or how they feel about
the other spouse with their divorce lawyer. Many times, these types of
discussions are strictly emotionally based, add no value to the
client's case, and are discussion better suited for a therapist, not a
divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyers are typically concerned with facts,
not feelings. Additionally, the time a spouse spends in these types of
emotional communications with his/her divorce lawyer can add up in
costs very quickly. Before initiating communication with your divorce
lawyer, decide if the communication is strictly to vent or to pass on
worthwhile information on to him/her. Expecting justice in the
courtsSpouses many times believe that if they can just have their day
in court, justice will prevail. Spouses who believe that the courts
are going to give them justice are often misguided and end up
extremely disappointed with the results. Better results and happier
divorce endings are often accomplished through mediation and/or
stipulated agreements. When a judge makes a decision, it is rarely a
win-win decision for both spouses. To manage your expectations of
justice in the family courts, you would be wise to consult your
divorce lawyer to help you determine what results you can likely
expect if your case goes to trial. ? 2006 Child Custody Coach...

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