My Poem ...
Roman License
what the participants of this group thought of that poem that was, again I say,
ripped off? Of course, I'm talking about the Catch your Face, poem.
ok ok ok ... I wasn't ripped off. I WAS given credit, be it as the
'unpublished philosopher.' But anyway ... what did you all think??
Below is the poem for you dummies who forgot --
I have come to catch your face in my memory
To keep it there, so I can stare
Maybe smell your hair, but not intrude on you
Stalkers are dangerous
So I’m not one of those
Just an admirer
Perhaps one day a subscriber
To the love of your head to your toes
I want to marry the thought of you
But maybe not the actual truth
Have a glimpse & taste
Let nothing go to waste
Just watch as you deflower
& bloom to some thing grandeur
it’s amazing what one can do
when they have a muse as beautiful as you
Erica
>After being 'ripped off' by that SonnyProBono charecter I feel the need
to ask
>what the participants of this group thought of that poem that was,
again I say,
>ripped off? Of course, I'm talking about the Catch your Face, poem.
>
>ok ok ok ... I wasn't ripped off. I WAS given credit, be it as the
>'unpublished philosopher.' But anyway ... what did you all think??
Well... for one thing, we've gotten used to skipping over some of Ken's
posts. The ones where he posts the lyrics of songs and what-not. If we
had known that he was posting something of yours we probably would have
taken a second longer to actually read it.
As far as your poem goes? Well... to be brutally honest, I enjoy
reading poems that have a rhythm to them a bit more than your freestyle.
I enjoy it more if I can tap my foot to the rhythm of the poem I'm
reading.
1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4.
Like a dance or a waltz. That's what I enjoy. I don't even like my own
freestyle poems.
I thought there was an amazing truth in one of your verses.
"I want to marry the thought of you
But maybe not the actual truth"
No rhythm to that, but the truth of that statement cuts a person to the
quick. I want to argue with you over that statement... but how can
someone argue over a person's feelings? How can you argue against the
truth? Truth hurts.
Mark
wrote:
>Roman License wrote
...
>As far as your poem goes? Well... to be brutally honest, I enjoy
>reading poems that have a rhythm to them a bit more than your freestyle.
>I enjoy it more if I can tap my foot to the rhythm of the poem I'm
>reading.
>
>1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4.
>Like a dance or a waltz.
I have this sudden picture of Erica in her full Punk Neon Pink glory
in a Leather slit gown dancing the waltz with some tuxed boy toy with
Laurence Wilk in the background as the bubbles descend around them...
>I thought there was an amazing truth in one of your verses.
>
>"I want to marry the thought of you
>But maybe not the actual truth"
>
>No rhythm to that, but the truth of that statement cuts a person to the
>quick. I want to argue with you over that statement... but how can
>someone argue over a person's feelings? How can you argue against the
>truth? Truth hurts.
Ain't though?
We marry the person we hope he or she is and often find reality is
quite different... The lucky ones are those thoughts truly become
one. Those that don't drift apart to one degree or another.
Cheers!
Mark
Roman License
>Well... for one thing, we've gotten used to skipping over some of Ken's
>posts. The ones where he posts the lyrics of songs and what-not. If we
>had known that he was posting something of yours we probably would have taken
a second longer to actually read it.
Nice to know Ken is so appreciated in this group.
>As far as your poem goes? Well... to be brutally honest, I enjoy
>reading poems that have a rhythm to them a bit more than your freestyle.
So, in other words, you like reading song lyrics more than poetry? That way
you're able to read with a consistent melody rather than having to accommodate
the changes in tempo and style with which poems are sometimes written?
Such as ... 1,2,3,4 rather than 6,8,9,3
>I thought there was an amazing truth in one of your verses.
>
>"I want to marry the thought of you
>But maybe not the actual truth"
>
>No rhythm to that,
Actually that's one of the most rhythmic verses in the whole poem. lol It's
all in how you emphasis and pronounce.
"I want to marry the thought of YOU
but maybe not the actual TRUth"
> I want to argue with you over that statement...
Argue away ...
Sonny Pro Bono
wrote:
>when she have a muse as beautiful as you
Thanks, "Roman License" for the clarification. For what that's worth,
I'm glad you've found a nice reception here. I wished I could have
begun here with as much fun. You have fun. At least your friendship
does not hobble me like Kathy Bates in Misery. Ouch. Time to exhale.
I have posted many songs in this newsgroup. No big whoop. I am
subscribed to many of the thousands of Usenet newsgroups out there.
You know, when I first discovered this newsgroup, it was because it
was something fun in DFW to do. Like a non-smoker hanging out with
the smoker's, I liked it because they had the most fascinating
arguments.
I soon learned how a newcomer could be attacked. That colored my
entire attitude about this place. I defended myself with silly posts
where I would stir up trouble. I was the bad boy. I tried to be
anonymous, sexually neutral for obvious reasons, and clever.
And so I went on, making friends and enemies. Some have proven to be
my friends: whether in posts, emails, IM's or even on the phone.
Some, who I thought were my friends, betrayed me by revealing my phony
email name in the newsgroup. After attacking her Dana, CAT thought
she was being clever. I figured that is how that game is played. So
with a few mouse clicks, I played their game. And I defended my
favorites here.
And so it went. I once posted my list of people who I respected.
Immediately, one of them contacted me.
BEWARE THE FIRST PERSON WHO BEFRIENDS YOU IN A NEW SITUATION.
We began a friendship that lasted from May until last week. She
smothered me with attention, as my archive of messages, and phone
records will prove.
As my friendship progressed with this person, I revealed information
about myself. Every time, she used it against me. Every time. She
seems intent on punishing men in any "relationship" that lasts over 30
minutes that she is in. Where are her girlfriends? None.
How has she hurt me? Ever see Kathy Bates in Misery? Ouch. Let me
count the ways:
[1] She has endlessly monopolized my time with her sad stories about
relationships and how she is enjoying her life. Always cut me off when
I spoke about my life. I just let it go.
[2] She idealized my marriage. So recently, when I finally revealed
that things were not perfect in Kenland, she turns on me and labels me
needing medication. She gave me zero sympathy, after crying on my
shoulder after every one of her dates. I just let it go.
[3] I told this person I had been arrested. She promptly reveals that
at the GTG we attended together on August 1. How nice. You don't see
me returning the favor as far as revelations are concerned ABOUT HER.
I just let it go.
[4] I tell her in an email recently, that I am over any romantic
attachment to her. She uses that against me to say I am writing her a
love letter. Oh, please. That was incorrect and disingenuous of her.
And Pathetic.
[5] As a child, I had experiences that make me very vulnerable to
inappropriate attention. I am naive and blind to it. I was sexually
abused and smothered with a pillow during some of the acts. So, she
now claims that I am "smothering" her. That is a personally hurtful
phrase. And she damn well knows it. That was wrong and mean
spirited.
[6] She NOW threatens my wife, after me telling her that I did not
want to contact her for a while. THAT SCARES ME. Let the light of
day reveal her in all her glory.
[7] I told her to never contact me again. Of course, she has to
contact me.
As insecure people, we both shared a paranoia about this newsgroup, a
compulsive need to read what others say about us. She thrived on my
bad boy nature, feeding me info, asking me "what do you want to know?"
And I ran with it. It was nice to have someone showering me with
attention, phone calls, IM's, continuously. Of course, I got most of
my info straight from Google and the Internet. Mere curiosity, a
desire to flesh out faceless persons, since I had never sat at the
table at a GTG. I pissed her off because I would find out stuff and
tell her stuff she had forgotten. And she hated me talking to a
certain woman in this newsgroup. I was friends with this certain
woman a lot longer and a lot more normally than her.
For this person, I was a confessor priest and a shoulder to cry on.
We each respected each other's situations. When surprisingly quickly
invited to their home, I asked if I could bring my wife. My family
invited their family to my home. My wife welcomed her as a friend. I
should have wondered about her subconscious when playing volleyball,
she deliberately hit me in the face and laughed hysterically. My wife
asked me later what was her problem.
Everything else was fine. We never touched each other. We would flirt
outrageously, then she would praise my ten year marriage. God, she
worshipped my marriage. I think she fantasized about my marriage, not
to me but just being married again. Yet, she encouraged me to flirt
with them in the newsgroup, to laugh at the idea that we were sleeping
together. Honestly, no one had ever suggested that to me. But I did
it to please a friend.
I should have known her subconscious was having a problem. I was
invited to pick her up at her job in Ft. Worth, where she calls me all
the time, and take her to the GTG at Razoo's north of central. I
chose to not sit with her. She kept calling me back over to her side
of the table. Afterwards, she bragged about me finding out things
about other people. Outside in a small group, she revealed some
confidential information that I had asked her to never reveal. I
never complained to her about it, since she seems oblivious to her
subconscious. Apparently, like Durango, a relationship soon changes
when you take this person to a GTG. She no longer needs you.
Recently, I made the mistake of telling her that I was speaking to a
friend online whom she had described a brief sexual encounter in mind
numbing berating man-hating detail. (No one ever satisfies her. She
has a ton of ex-boyfriends, no girlfriends, and an endless series of
new adventures.) She encouraged me to screw with that person's head.
Like a puppetmaster's puppet, I obeyed. But I soon felt sick doing
it. I asked her why she could not have an honest relationship with a
man. She said it was fun to be evil sometimes. I also asked why she
had no girlfriends to confide this kind of stuff.
I also made the mistake of telling her I was speaking to yet another
person from the newsgroup, whom she had a long standing battle. (She
hated it when I spoke to anyone in the newsgroup. Talk about
possessive!!!!!!!! I was her human nightlight, human Kleenex on call
24 hours whenever she wanted to call me.) Surprisingly, she instantly
wanted me to get them to talk to her. I obediently relayed the
message. I understand recently, from the horse's mouth, that she is
now pathetically pursuing him equally as hard as the rest of the men
she chased in this newsgroup. Strange, how she had tried to poison a
relationship with his girlfriend by sending ICQ's to her. And now she
wants him to come to the love shack? OH, how pathological, man.
Last week, after a series of deeply personal revelations from her, she
cried that no one would ever love her, etc. I said she just picked
the wrong kind of guys and used the wrong enticement. Pick men who
will respect you and not always give it up on the first date. I don't
believe in sexual double standards. But if you truly want to get
married, why look for endless one night stands? Decide what you want.
During another consolation session Saturday, since I have been married
for ten years, I thought I could be honest about my marriage and life
and talk about ME for a change. I SHOWED WEAKNESS. What a mistake!
Only she is allowed to do that. Immediately, I was attacked as
"depressed" and needed medical treatment for being a whiner. She must
have really projected herself into my marriage. Of course, she later
admitted she was just "tired." If I crossed the line, it was only in
revealing my thoughts. Life is not perfect whether marriage or
single. I offered to bring a movie to cheer her up. Sure, she said.
Instead of naming a flick, she insisted I get my entire list sorted
and emailed to them. After going through all that trouble, she told
me she was "tired." I was pissed she had not just named a title and
put me through all that effort for nothing. Not the first time.
The kicker was Sunday. After suffering a series of consecutive
relationship rejections, she called me, as usual for consolation. I
again suggested that we watch a movie on my laptop. That seemed a
great idea. She said I could eat her absent date's lasagna.
Whatever. I drove all the way out there. I arrived. She greeted me
by telling the name of someone in the newsgroup who had called her
warning her that I should not listen to the advice of another longtime
friend in this newsgroup. She was cold and distant the rest of the
time I was there. After dinner and yet another phone call, she hid in
her room. I went out and had a smoke and played.
I returned and helped make a brochure. She came out and said she was
tired. I told her I understood it was a bad week and I would leave.
I asked her to walk with me to the car, so we could speak in private.
Once there, I asked what was the problem today? Without looking me in
the eye, I was told how obsessive I was, how I am smothering her, how
I should not spend so much time taking her calls, how I should work on
my marriage. Wow, where did THAT come from? She is the one who calls
me all the time, always contacts me when I am online, always forces
herself on me. And I am the bad guy?
So, I drove home, and I wrote her an email thanking her for her
insights. I told her that I had wondered what it would be like to be
involved with her. I would never have done anything about it
uninvited. I have always respect her too much to do that. And I
expressly stated that whatever romantic fantasy I had about her was
sooo over after hearing her rag on me. I thought I made myself clear.
Crystal clear. Just friends. (From those who I have sent the emails,
they tend to agree with me. She is blind.)
Instead, she reads what she wants to read, and thinks I am writing her
an obsessive love letter. Oh, please. She doesn't even have the
courtesy of explaining anything to me. Just cuts me off cold. That
is what a friendship means to her.
How could anyone love someone who can't even love them self? After
all the times we had spoken freely to each other, suddenly I am
furniture and a stalker. Turn off the soap opera!!! She is such a
stubborn blockhead. She wrote back saying to never write her an email
like that one. I responded saying I would respect her space and I did
not understand her. She wrote back saying she would hurt my wife.
That scared me. Don't threaten my family. That is crossing the line.
I called her at her job to tell her to back off. Someone asked my
name. They told me she was busy. She never called back. Now she is
telling everyone I am trying to get her fired. OH, please. She needs
to quit calling everyone FROM her job. What would I have against her?
I wrote her saying I was ashamed of her and to never contact me again.
Of course, she had to write me back; has to have the last word. Her
morality is like an ice cube on a summer sidewalk.
It hurts to have a friend reject you because she is mentally unstable,
especially when she was so close to you. It felt like a Twilight Zone
episode. I have spoken to a handful of people in this newsgroup who I
trust are more stable? LOL. They all tell me the same story: WE
WARNED YOU. Yeah, but I wanted to believe in her. God, how I trusted
her and looked the other way. We both have individual issues. I
guess she did the best she could do. She gave me endless obsessive
attention. And I listened. It was flattering. My wife was not happy
but she knew.
Strange how when my wife and she spoke on IM, all she could talk about
was complimenting my wife and how she did not want to threaten my
marriage. Guilty conscience? Some women are not comfortable with
their husbands talking to her, she had said. I see why in her case.
I have kept every email, every ICQ, every IM. I have all the
evidence. There is nothing inappropriate in ANYTHING I have ever done
with this woman. My wife told me she suspected there was something
off about her. I always defended her in this newsgroup. Always.
Boy, was I wrong.
I only am writing this because she has been saying I am some stalker.
Because of that poem I posted from Roman License, that he wrote.
Because she misreads my email into thinking I am writing a romantic
love poem, when in reality, I am telling her any fantasy anyone could
ever have had about her was sooo over after her spew of hatred. I
post a lot of music in this newsgroup. I like it. I never claim I
write it. The only romantic thing I have ever posted in this
newsgroup was about my wife. And her name was spelled out as the
capitalized words of the post. Never her.
I don't want to be anywhere that I am not welcome. I should not seek
self-confidence from another's attention. It feels like withdrawal
when it is removed. I don't own anyone. No one owns me. We are all
adults here. I don't have to understand her. I just accept her as
she is. She never tried to understand me. Just use me.
If anyone wants to read the email I sent to her, I will send it to you
and you can judge for yourself. It is my email, so there is nothing
wrong with that.
I am seriously thinking of leaving this newsgroup. I may indeed do
that. Right now, I am just tired of the endless BS.
So, "Roman License," after an experience with that type of
self-indulgent, smothering, shallow, manipulative pathologically
attentive woman, that turns on you, I think I shall be your bitch for
a while. At least your friendship does not hobble me like Kathy Bates
in Misery. Ouch.
Strange that she and you and I once had a 3-way conversation and yet
she thinks I wrote that damn poem. What a nut. I should have picked
another of your violent passionate poems to post in this newsgroup.
However, it served me well in that it relieved me of an emotional
leach of a friend. For that, I can only be grateful. I should have
been smarter and listened to my true friends. Including you. Thanks
for everyone's support. I am not perfect. I just don't think I am a
stalker. Neither does my wife. She has read ALL my communications
with this person.
God, she is so bright to be so deliberately stupid. The whole thing
is so stupid. I just want nothing to do with her anymore but I'll be
damned if she is going to slander me. It reminds me of this song by
STP:
Stone Temple Pilots
Sour Girl
She turned away, what was she looking at?
She was a sour girl the day that she met me
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a happy girl the day that she left me
She turned away, what was she looking at?
She was a sour girl the day that she met me
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a happy girl when she left me
What would you Do----?
What would you Do if I follow you?
What would you Do----? I follow
Don't turn away, what are you looking at?
He was so happy on the day that he met her
Say, what are you looking at?
I was a Superman, but looks are deceiving
The rollercoaster ride's a lonely one
I pay the ransom note to stop it from steaming
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a teenage girl when she met me
What would you Do----?
What would you Do if I follow you?
What would you Do? I follow
What would you Do----?
What would you Do if I follow you?
What would you Do? I follow
The Girl "got reasons"
They All "got reasons"
What would you Do----?
What would you Do if I follow you?
What would you Do? I follow
What would you Do----?
What would you Do if I follow you?
What would you Do? I follow
Hey, what are you looking at?
She was a happy girl the day that she left me
The day that she left me
The day that she left me
She was a happy girl the day that she left me
The day that she left me
The day that she left me
She was a sour girl the day that she left me
Ken.
I am Roman License's bitch
http://ijasyi.tripod.com/catchyourface.html
http://ijasyi.tripod.com/linkspage.html
Sonny Pro Bono
wrote:
>
>
>>Well... for one thing, we've gotten used to skipping over some of Ken's
>>posts. The ones where he posts the lyrics of songs and what-not. If we
>>had known that he was posting something of yours we probably would have taken
>a second longer to actually read it.
>
>Nice to know Ken is so appreciated in this group.
Ken who?
I am reminded of a story told in the Western movie parody: "Il mio
nome è nessuno" aka "My Name Is Nobody." Had Henry Fonda as Jack
Beauregard. Terrence Hill as Nobody.
'A little bird breaks his wing. A big bird spots him and pushes him
into a cow patty for hiding. The little bird cries and cries. A big
wolf spots him, pulls him out and she eats him.'
The moral? Not everyone that pushes you into manure is trying to hurt
you. And not everyone that pulls you out is helping you.
You asked me last night about my beliefs; my most respected life
philosophies:
About identity:
"I am that I am." "Know thyself." "Where ever I am is the place to
be."
About jobs:
"I was looking for a job when I came here."
About the future:
"Better lucky than smart any day."
About failure:
"Life is one endless mistake." "You did what you had to." "You live,
you learn." "You never know until you try." "Take the good and the
bad."
About new friends with that gleam in their eye:
"Beware the first person who approaches you in a new situation."
About friends that use you:
"You go first. Tell me what it's like."
About friends that love hurting you:
"Turn the other cheek until you run out of cheeks."
About friends that betray you:
"NEXT!"
About relationships:
"Be the kind of person you want to be, to attract the kind of person
you want to like you."
About revenge:
Oprah: "The best revenge is excellence."
About forgiveness:
"Forgive them, it will teach them a lesson."
About getting over things:
"It's not the end of the world." "This too, shall pass." "Just
accept it." "Let it be."
About life itself:
"`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the
Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Felton
<sonnyp...@icqmail.com > wrote:
<snip>
Interesting, I suppose...but what is it that a married man is
searching for in these "relationships" in a Singles newsgroup?
Are we supposed to empathize with you or feel badly for you?
Are we supposed to be surprised by the thinly veiled descriptions of
the characters in your swan song?
I suppose the words of Chris Rock come to mind..."RUN...if you can get
away, you got off easy."
Erica
>And so it went. I once posted my list of people who I respected.
>Immediately, one of them contacted me.
Who was it you listed?
>BEWARE THE FIRST PERSON WHO BEFRIENDS YOU IN A NEW SITUATION.
Was the person who said this, one of the people on your list?
<snip>
>It hurts to have a friend reject you because she is mentally unstable,
>especially when she was so close to you. It felt like a Twilight Zone
>episode. I have spoken to a handful of people in this newsgroup who I
>trust are more stable? LOL. They all tell me the same story: WE
>WARNED YOU. Yeah, but I wanted to believe in her. God, how I trusted
>her and looked the other way.
I'm sorry sweetie. But... you were warned. I think every single person
in this newsgroup has their own story, their own little warning to make.
I'm sorry that you feel betrayed. But you should have known better.
You should have listened. History repeats itself over and over again.
You two will kiss and make up eventually. She will charm you again.
She can be very charming when she wants to be. You will be friends
again. Just...
Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me.
Sonny Pro Bono
Yes, merely interesting. If I were to defend myself, I would point
out that I am not the only married posting here but that would not
answer your question. I can be friends here as with others in the
real world. I think I have met the real me. Was Pogo right?
I like the sense of online community here. This is a strange mixture
of regulars as an incestuously dysfunctional "family" full of trivial
heated arguments and frequent dittohead replies yet... interesting.
For whatever reason, people stay a while. I often wonder why in such
a huge area as DFW, in the totality of the Internet, so few ever post.
Who knows how many lurk? By the charter's own admission of purpose,
this group has a terrible misnomer.
Concerning empathy or sympathy? Like a message in a bottle, a work of
art on a museum wall or a trainwreck passed while you are on vacation,
you must make up your own mind. I merely display my cut and burn and
scar to impart the wisdom of not deliberately ignoring the obvious.
There is no salvation for me. I learned that I cannot be in a
situation where disingenioius pretending does not lead to the genesis
of something else. It is difficult to not care. I am sure I am
prejudiced and cannot be trusted to give even an accurate
interpretation, nor even a proper relational narrative sequencing of
events. And I am sure that in all these things, I am naive, unfair,
and hypocritical, and human. He said, she said. My mind just needed
an answer, in lieu of faith.
As far as surprise, does anything in reality or posted here or in
private surprise anyone? Our civility is merely a pose. We all have
prurient interests. Familiarity does seem to breed contempt, among
many other things. Yet as long as we are pleased, we call it
friendship. Some things are best unexamined.
Like Andy doing 'the foreign guy' would say, "Tank you veddy much."
Ken
K;-)
"You are only normal within your frame of reference."
http://www.angelfire.com/tn/shelby/emotional.html
http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/sandringham/607/hobbies/rabbit.htm
"What I want, you can't give me back." "I want to believe."
Donisa
wrote:
>Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me.
So you don't mind him telling me your full name? Your address? Your
phone number? About your grandparents?
Felton
<sonnyp...@icqmail.com > wrote:
>On Sat, 11 Aug 2001 16:34:01 GMT, fel...@hotmail.com (Felton) wrote:
>
>>On Fri, 10 Aug 2001 21:04:51 GMT, Sonny Pro Bono
>><sonnyp...@icqmail.com > wrote:
>>
>><snip>
>>
>>Interesting, I suppose...but what is it that a married man is
>>searching for in these "relationships" in a Singles newsgroup?
>>Are we supposed to empathize with you or feel badly for you?
>>Are we supposed to be surprised by the thinly veiled descriptions of
>>the characters in your swan song?
>>
>>I suppose the words of Chris Rock come to mind..."RUN...if you can get
>>away, you got off easy."
>
>
>Yes, merely interesting. If I were to defend myself, I would point
>out that I am not the only married posting here but that would not
>answer your question. I can be friends here as with others in the
>real world. I think I have met the real me. Was Pogo right?
I am sure that is true and I wasn't asking you to defend yourself. I
just haven't been able to grasp your situation. You seem to freely
admit that you are married, that your wife knows *some* of what goes
on in here and some of the characters and yet you seem to be trying to
develop relationships that are inconsistent to say the least with
being married. I am confused:)
>I like the sense of online community here. This is a strange mixture
>of regulars as an incestuously dysfunctional "family" full of trivial
>heated arguments and frequent dittohead replies yet... interesting.
>For whatever reason, people stay a while. I often wonder why in such
>a huge area as DFW, in the totality of the Internet, so few ever post.
>Who knows how many lurk? By the charter's own admission of purpose,
>this group has a terrible misnomer.
Misnomer is right:)
>Concerning empathy or sympathy? Like a message in a bottle, a work of
>art on a museum wall or a trainwreck passed while you are on vacation,
>you must make up your own mind. I merely display my cut and burn and
>scar to impart the wisdom of not deliberately ignoring the obvious.
>There is no salvation for me. I learned that I cannot be in a
>situation where disingenioius pretending does not lead to the genesis
>of something else. It is difficult to not care. I am sure I am
>prejudiced and cannot be trusted to give even an accurate
>interpretation, nor even a proper relational narrative sequencing of
>events. And I am sure that in all these things, I am naive, unfair,
>and hypocritical, and human. He said, she said. My mind just needed
>an answer, in lieu of faith.
This is a left field guess, but if you are struggling with your
marriage, I would suggest that time and energy taken away from it with
all the nonsense and drama that can go on around here may not be in
your best interest. Like a lot of guys, I know that I tend to have
"limited focus" at times. I can zero in on one thing at a time and
the addition of "other things" really impairs my ability to see any
"one thing" in focus. Like the old joke about the first thing we guys
do when we are lost in the car is turn down the radio:)
Hypothetically, if it is your marriage that is concerning you, perhaps
your focus should be there...one way or the other.
>As far as surprise, does anything in reality or posted here or in
>private surprise anyone? Our civility is merely a pose. We all have
>prurient interests. Familiarity does seem to breed contempt, among
>many other things. Yet as long as we are pleased, we call it
>friendship. Some things are best unexamined.
That is what they say:) I have heard it said about sausage making and
Texas politics. I guess we could add to the list:) In any event, I
hope things improve.
Sonny Pro Bono
wrote:
>Sonny Pro Bono wrote
>
>>And so it went. I once posted my list of people who I respected.
>>Immediately, one of them contacted me.
>
>
>Who was it you listed?
I took this from the excerpt at the bottom:
"Erica, Gar, Diva, Nile, Dee, Tim, Ninjacat, and Donisa."
Since then, I have added Mark, RDT, Tiptoe, Felton, Whiz, Judy, Jerry,
Ken, -Ron, Nnickee. If you aren't on my list, I have not spoken to
you enough to get to know you. I have not removed anyone from my list
of those I respect. Still do.
>>BEWARE THE FIRST PERSON WHO BEFRIENDS YOU IN A NEW SITUATION.
>
>
>Was the person who said this, one of the people on your list?
No, a friend once gave me this very advice about their experience, 15
years ago.
><snip>
>
>>It hurts to have a friend reject you because she is mentally unstable,
>>especially when she was so close to you. It felt like a Twilight Zone
>>episode. I have spoken to a handful of people in this newsgroup who I
>>trust are more stable? LOL. They all tell me the same story: WE
>>WARNED YOU. Yeah, but I wanted to believe in her. God, how I trusted
>>her and looked the other way.
>
>I'm sorry sweetie. But... you were warned. I think every single person
>in this newsgroup has their own story, their own little warning to make.
>I'm sorry that you feel betrayed. But you should have known better.
>You should have listened. History repeats itself over and over again.
I guess the thing that got me was, it is like being friends with
someone with bright red hair. One day, you tell that person, "I no
longer wish to be your friend because your bright red hair is ugly."
And they would reply, "Oh, you never noticed? I thought you liked
redheads." Misinterpretation! LOL
>You two will kiss and make up eventually. She will charm you again.
>She can be very charming when she wants to be. You will be friends
>again. Just...
>
>Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me.
Oh, Pooh! I miss her like my sister. She is a charmer. I should not
have let her lean on me so much. She was intelligent, articulate,
industrious, interesting, and moody. She really tries hard and is a
work in progress. No one hates her. I am sorry I did not demand the
friendship be more equitable. She respects strength over affection.
I am sorry she trusted the advice of another over her friendship with
me. That is what hurt. But I must accept what another says,
regardless of whether I understand them or not. That's what friends
are for. To understand and accept.
>
I cited the following source documents to answer your above question:
Courtesy of Google.com..........................
***************************************************************
From: Sonny Pro Bono, Lawyer to the Scars (SonnyP...@aol.com)
Message 13 in thread
Subject: Re: New to Dallas
Newsgroups: dfw.singles
View complete thread (85 articles)
Date: 2001-05-12 09:18:01 PST
[snipped]
Oh, come on Kirk. You know what they say: the first people to greet
you are usually the people you need to avoid.
[snipped]
.................. for those few sane individuals I respect like
Erica, Gar, Diva, Nile, Dee, Tim, Ninjacat, and Donisa. The rest
usually walk in with a cowchip on their shoulders and accuse you of
smelling like shit. Love 'em or kill file 'em or just laugh at them.
***************************************************************
And your reply was............................
***************************************************************
Search Result 27
From: Erica (paris...@airmail.net)
Subject: Re: New to Dallas
Newsgroups: dfw.singles
View complete thread (85 articles)
Date: 2001-05-13 22:00:03 PST
Sonny Pro Bono, Lawyer to the Scars wrote
>look for those few sane individuals I respect like
>Erica,
Sane? SANE?? SANE!!??!!??
How DARE you accuse me of being sane!
I totally resent that comment! You will ruin my reputation! I will
probably sue you for slander...
<grin>
So how'd I make it up on the ranks of individuals that you respect?
Usually all I do is come here, and spew about life, and work, and mom
and dad, and friends, and stuff that I've done recently. Actually,
all
in all I'm a pretty boring person. Let's see... the two subjects that
I've really contributed anything to lately has been my hair, and
gardening. <snores>
Lawyer to the Scars? Where did that come from?
***************************************************************
Sonny Pro Bono
>On Sat, 11 Aug 2001 18:06:28 GMT, Sonny Pro Bono
><sonnyp...@icqmail.com > wrote:
>
>>On Sat, 11 Aug 2001 16:34:01 GMT, fel...@hotmail.com (Felton) wrote:
>>
>>>On Fri, 10 Aug 2001 21:04:51 GMT, Sonny Pro Bono
>>><sonnyp...@icqmail.com > wrote:
>>>
>>><snip>
>>>
>>>Interesting, I suppose...but what is it that a married man is
>>>searching for in these "relationships" in a Singles newsgroup?
>>>Are we supposed to empathize with you or feel badly for you?
>>>Are we supposed to be surprised by the thinly veiled descriptions of
>>>the characters in your swan song?
>>>
>>>I suppose the words of Chris Rock come to mind..."RUN...if you can get
>>>away, you got off easy."
>>
>>
>>Yes, merely interesting. If I were to defend myself, I would point
>>out that I am not the only married posting here but that would not
>>answer your question. I can be friends here as with others in the
>>real world. I think I have met the real me. Was Pogo right?
>
>I am sure that is true and I wasn't asking you to defend yourself. I
>just haven't been able to grasp your situation. You seem to freely
>admit that you are married, that your wife knows *some* of what goes
>on in here and some of the characters and yet you seem to be trying to
>develop relationships that are inconsistent to say the least with
>being married. I am confused:)
For a person who acts so flakey and ethereal, I am actually very
literal; I intellectualize a situation into a paradigm. I think I can
find an answer, an undiscovered way to make everything work. An
intelelctual model has nothing to do with reality. I think I actually
lie with my honesty as statistics can be used to lie. I benefit from
misinterpretations at time. In a relationship, I am like the guy who
breaks a $50 and gets three twenties and a ten with his change and
must give it back...eventually. My wife knows me. I share my stuff
with her. I am a bundle of energy channeled into a thousand
directions. Jack of all trades; master of none. I simply adopt a
personality to match my situation. Sometimes, I find myself just
watching myself. But like an impersonator, I fail at representing
myself. Who do I want to be today? Who have I ever been? Just old
me. Sometimes, that just does not seem enough.
Hey, Tunnel Vision, my old friend! I always turn down the radio! But
I do ask directions! I have taken this past week to reintroduce
myself to my wife in many ways. The stress of Finals week is over.
I've also had a lot of support from those in the ng and out of it.
They've asked me the same thing, too. "Why?" I've honestly had to
answer because I thought I needed something I already had. The
greener grass needs mowing on the other side of the fence, too.
Everyone has to decide alone.
>>As far as surprise, does anything in reality or posted here or in
>>private surprise anyone? Our civility is merely a pose. We all have
>>prurient interests. Familiarity does seem to breed contempt, among
>>many other things. Yet as long as we are pleased, we call it
>>friendship. Some things are best unexamined.
>
>That is what they say:) I have heard it said about sausage making and
>Texas politics. I guess we could add to the list:) In any event, I
>hope things improve.
Thank you, sir. I believe they have indeed. When you are old they
call it a mid-life crisis. Mid-life crises are always embarrasingly
personal. The only good thing arising from one is that you know you
have at least that much longer to live. Now, where's that Harley or
Corvette? Tattoo or piercing? LOL
Diva
> I suppose the words of Chris Rock come to mind..."RUN...if you can get
> away, you got off easy."
That's good. I have to remember that quote.
~Diva
Diva
> I like the sense of online community here. This is a strange mixture
> of regulars as an incestuously dysfunctional "family" full of trivial
> heated arguments and frequent dittohead replies yet... interesting.
> For whatever reason, people stay a while. I often wonder why in such
> a huge area as DFW, in the totality of the Internet, so few ever post.
> Who knows how many lurk? By the charter's own admission of purpose,
> this group has a terrible misnomer.
>
It's more entertaining than a daytime soap? In a lot of ways, this NG is a
family - I wouldn't call it dysfunctional; aren't all families
'dysfunctional'? I've met a lot of nice people here, each with their own
distinct personality. The picture is never complete until I've met them in
person a few times. We are diverse and opinionated with lots of free advice
to give. Each of us has our good days and our not so good days. Yes, even
from my small corner of DFW, there are a lot of lurkers.
~Diva
(<insert missing clever quote here>)
Felton
That Chris Rock bit is a hoot. The context has to do with a guy who
gets caught cheating on his girlfriend. Mr. Rock suggests that in the
first eruption of anger when the GF wants to toss out the guy, the guy
should not even hesitate. He should RUN:) The alternative being a
long and agonizing existence of slow torture while "working on the
relationship" with a then untrusting GF:) Besides, as Chris correctly
points out, what the guy has really done is just give his GF a "get
some dick free" card, which she will use at her convenience:)
That old Karma merry go round is hard to dismount, I guess:)
Sonny Pro Bono
wrote:
Donisa, like they say on "Jerry Springer":
"You're lame, sit down, you suck."
You mean you never called her? How strange since you said how much
her friendship had meant to you. I guess idealizing relationships
that work is a common thing to you. I think it ironic that you of all
people would be inquiring about someone's else's grandparents. "Not
that there's anything wrong with that."
I thought you might know since you claimed you were trying so hard to
be her great friend once but obviously you don't. Good. She told me
to find out for myself, as she always does. Why don't you find out
and tell me? Erica is pretty cool about that kind of thing. I've
never met anyone quite like her. I never told her your nickname for
her.
Sometimes people trust you with secrets, sometimes they hint at
secrets, and always it is best to never repeat anything about
anything, without putting up the SECRET ON, SECRET OFF sign. I should
have been a better friend to you all. I am trying to do better. They
fire you off a job for a lack of confidentiality. Besides, even if I
told you a great dark secret, I thought you were the one who told me
how confidential you were. What are you doing ruining your own
sterling rep? :-)
I hope we both learn the value in keeping our mouths shut. Believe
me, I am biting my tongue in two right now. Because you are my friend
and you are trying, once again, to hurt another friend jealously over
me. And you don't have the guts to face me with your anger like an
adult.
So, I will just let it go, as I always have had to do with you, when
you pathologically hurt me. You, of course, will do what you feel you
need to do. I have faith in you. You've got my number if you ever
want to talk about anything other than yourself.
P.S. I like Santa Claus, too. It is going to be pretty cold up at
the North Pole when you egg his house. So bundle up or you will catch
a chill. Gesundheit.
Erica
>>Bite me once, shame on you. Bite me twice, shame on me.
>
>So you don't mind him telling me your full name? Your address? Your
>phone number? About your grandparents?
Well Donisa. No. I don't like him telling anyone my full name or my
address, or phone number. But he has done it now. No sense in
screaming and crying about water under a bridge now. Maybe next time he
will learn who he can trust, and who he can not.
You suggest he has learned the secret of my grandfather. Good for him
for figuring out who he was. Too bad for me he confided that secret to
you. Like I said. Too late to cry about water under a bridge.
I feel sorry for Ken. I also feel sorry for you. I don't know what
happened in your past, or how you were hurt in such a way to make you
who you are. I just know that a person isn't born like that. You must
have been hurt somehow dreadfully to make you so full of the pain you
lash out at others.
But I wonder why it is that you don't change. You've done this to so
many people. Surely by now you realize what you are doing? I
understand that emotion pain causes you to lash out and hurt those
around you. We all do it. But once you are aware of what you are
doing... could you not stop yourself before you go too far?
Bugman, Dana, Durango, Ralph, and now we add Ken to the list, how many
more? How many to come? Surely by now you realize what you are doing?
Donisa
sweet innocent friend has left out some of the details.
On Sat, 11 Aug 2001 16:07:24 -0500, "Erica" <paris...@airmail.net>
wrote:
Roman License
Bite me thrice, kill the dog.
(Author of third point is in no way responsible for any mis-appropriation of
said comment. All murder should be done of each person's freewill and not at
the urging of anyone else. We at Roman License's Newsgroup Checking Facility
[RLNCF] trust you agree. Amen.)
rbe...@hotmail.com
>>Who was it you listed?
>I took this from the excerpt at the bottom:
>"Erica, Gar, Diva, Nile, Dee, Tim, Ninjacat, and Donisa."
>Since then, I have added Mark, RDT, Tiptoe, Felton, Whiz, Judy, Jerry,
>Ken, -Ron, Nnickee. If you aren't on my list, I have not spoken to you
>enough to get to know you. I have not removed anyone from my list of
>those I respect. Still do.
Wow, I'm flattered. I didn't think I knew you well enough to be respected
by you. :-)
I find it much easier to keep a list (in my head) of people that I cannot
respect. I find it to be a much shorter list, and much easier to
remember.
-Ron