The Worst Personals Ever...
Ben Parrish
seen. Jesus Christ, people, you don't have to pay by the *line* here.
It's FREE. Say something interesting, huh?
Hi, 24 year old white male, shy, sensitive, looking for companion for a
few chuckles, or maybe more. I'm a nonsmoker, and I love to dance and go
to movies and stuff spaghetti down my face as fast as I-
What IS this? This is the best you can do? "Hi, I'm an un-person."
I wanna see some really GOOD personals on here pretty goddamn soon, I'll
tell you that. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.
I'd write one that would make all the ladies swoon and make all the men
instantly turn gay, but so far I haven't seen anyone on this group that
I'm particularly ISO. If you know what I mean.
Well, except for John Martin, but I doubt he'd have me.
[ pin...@access.digex.net ... Ben Parrish ]
[ hi im a shy sensitive white mal lokigbn fpo a ncioe copmeranioarnogj[
gi9rohfgujs-09qh0 qc9
John Martin
"Well, except for John Martin, but I doubt he'd have me."
Your doubts are unfounded. I could use you for an afternon, Ben, to mow
the lawn and wash my car. You free on Saturday?
By the way, you've been absent from your favorite newsgroup for such an
extended time, I was about to ask Karen to venture down to your basement
cubicle to check your pulse for any sign of life.
--
-JM
Karen Mercedes
jma...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu (John Martin) writes:
You won't find me going down there until they develop a vaccine.
Karen Mercedes
+-------------------------------------------+
| "I believe that since my life began the |
| most I've had is just a talent to amuse." |
| -- Sir Noel Coward |
+-------------------------------------------+
Karen Mercedes
pin...@access5.digex.net (Ben Parrish) writes:
> This group is home to some of the most embarassing personal ads I've ever
> seen. Jesus Christ, people, you don't have to pay by the *line* here.
> It's FREE. Say something interesting, huh?
>
> Hi, 24 year old white male, shy, sensitive, looking for companion for a
> few chuckles, or maybe more. I'm a nonsmoker, and I love to dance and go
> to movies and stuff spaghetti down my face as fast as I-
>
> What IS this? This is the best you can do? "Hi, I'm an un-person."
I seem to recall, less than two months ago, posting a personal ad that
was so violently different from this kind of "un-person" ad that I
aroused a huge flame war, with the most virulent attacks directed at me
by one Ben Parrish.
Mr Parrish, you amaze me. Not only do speak out of both sides of your
mouth, but what you have to say still can't manage to be anything but
offensive.
Teague James
differently...so what! It just means that you're different people.
Well, take care.
-T
Suzan
Parrish) wrote:
|| This group is home to some of the most embarassing personal ads I've ever
|| seen. Jesus Christ, people, you don't have to pay by the *line* here.
|| It's FREE. Say something interesting, huh?
||
|| Hi, 24 year old white male, shy, sensitive, looking for companion for a
|| few chuckles, or maybe more. I'm a nonsmoker, and I love to dance and go
|| to movies and stuff spaghetti down my face as fast as I-
||
|| What IS this? This is the best you can do? "Hi, I'm an un-person."
||
|| I wanna see some really GOOD personals on here pretty goddamn soon, I'll
|| tell you that. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.
Now, correct me if I am wrong <and I am sure someone will>
But this is dc.romance.... not dc.personals. I didn't think this group was
supposed to be for personal ads or did alt.config just misname it? Could
be since to the best of my knowledge dc.personals or alt.personals.dc
doesn't exist.
Suzan
--
"Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world - even if what is published is not true" Richard Bach
Dr. Richard Kimble
You two seem to hate each other with remarkable venom. Did you ever
perhaps consider getting married?
-- John E. Jasen (jja...@umbc.edu)
-- My views are mine, and any similarity to those of UMBC is coincidental.
Ben Parrish
: But this is dc.romance.... not dc.personals. I didn't think this group was
: supposed to be for personal ads or did alt.config just misname it? Could
: be since to the best of my knowledge dc.personals or alt.personals.dc
: doesn't exist.
My complaint was not that personals were not being posted. What do I
care if they're posted or not? My complaint was that the personals that
*are* being posted are vapid, unimaginative, cliche-ridden, dronish,
embarrassing pieces of dreck.
: Suzan
So, uh, like...I dunno, do ya, maybe wanna go out some time or
something? I'm a shy, sensitive 23 year old, I like...
"So, do you...like...stuff?" - Nerdy Simpsons kid, who I can't remember the
name of. Herman? No. Total blank.
--
[ pin...@access.digex.net ... Ben Parrish ]
[ A .sig is a lot like life. One minute it's there, and the nex
Ben Parrish
: irresistible, romantic personal should be written. Merely piecing
: together your extensive collection of text macros will not suffice.
: Karen and I will judge your efforts. If you pass, you'll be mailed a
: coupon giving you a discount on your next meal at Roy Rogers.
Sir (and madam, and you know who you are), it is YOU that should be
striving to redeem yourself, and *I* will be doing the judging here.
And if you pass, I'll have Roy Rogers himself ride over to your house and
stuff a TriggerBurger (tm) in your face personally.
Bill Bacon
>In article <3qf8gl$1...@news3.digex.net>, pin...@access5.digex.net (Ben
>Parrish) wrote:
[harangue about personals snipped]
>|| I wanna see some really GOOD personals on here pretty goddamn soon, I'll
>|| tell you that. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.
>Now, correct me if I am wrong <and I am sure someone will>
>But this is dc.romance.... not dc.personals. I didn't think this group was
>supposed to be for personal ads or did alt.config just misname it? Could
>be since to the best of my knowledge dc.personals or alt.personals.dc
>doesn't exist.
Okay, I'll correct you. :)
While this group isn't just for personals, they are allowed. They will happen
anyway (just look at all the flames
about personals in alt.romance or soc.singles), so you might as well try
to control them rather than outlaw them. The FAQ does request that
people put "ISO" in their subject header, so those who don't want to read
them aren't bothered.
--
Bill Bacon Life is what happens while you're
bba...@clark.net waiting for a life.
kod...@cqi.com No one else would DARE take resp. for these opinions.
When you doubt, and just can't take it anymore.....AGNOSTIC JIHAD!!!!
Suzan
Parrish) wrote:
|| My complaint was not that personals were not being posted. What do I
|| care if they're posted or not? My complaint was that the personals that
|| *are* being posted are vapid, unimaginative, cliche-ridden, dronish,
|| embarrassing pieces of dreck.
Well, if you don't care if they are posted or not... why would you care
what they say? It seems completely illogical ..... so what if most people
can't write a decent description of themselves. And if you aren't planning
on dating any of them ... So what?
|| So, uh, like...I dunno, do ya, maybe wanna go out some time or
|| something? I'm a shy, sensitive 23 year old, I like...
I can, at least, believe the age part anyway.
Suzan
|| su...@epix.net (Suzan) writes:
||
|| >Now, correct me if I am wrong <and I am sure someone will>
||
|| >But this is dc.romance.... not dc.personals. I didn't think this group was
|| >supposed to be for personal ads or did alt.config just misname it? Could
|| >be since to the best of my knowledge dc.personals or alt.personals.dc
|| >doesn't exist.
||
|| Okay, I'll correct you. :)
||
|| While this group isn't just for personals, they are allowed. They will
happen
|| anyway (just look at all the flames
|| about personals in alt.romance or soc.singles), so you might as well try
|| to control them rather than outlaw them. The FAQ does request that
|| people put "ISO" in their subject header, so those who don't want to read
|| them aren't bothered.
Thank you. At least one sane and reasonable response has been made.
John Martin
"My complaint was that the personals that *are* being posted are
vapid, unimaginative,...."
Ok, Ben, here's your chance to redeem yourself. Show the world how an
irresistible, romantic personal should be written. Merely piecing
together your extensive collection of text macros will not suffice.
Karen and I will judge your efforts. If you pass, you'll be mailed a
coupon giving you a discount on your next meal at Roy Rogers.
--
"I do not know any other way of associating with great tasks than
*play*: as a sign of greatness, this is an essential presupposition.
The least compulsion, a gloomy mien, or any harsh tone in the throat are
all objections to a man; how much more against his work!" -- F. Nietzsche
BenF
On 31 May 1995, Ben Parrish wrote:
> Eat me.
>
> <bow> <curtsey>
>
> Hey, I just made up a joke :
>
> Q: What's the difference between Karen Mercedes and a disgusting, putrid,
> festering, bubbling vat of lard, pus, and other random bodily fluids?
>
> A: I don't know either!
>
> (Whoa...I even offended myself with that one. Ick.)
>
> <deep breath...> Ahhh, it's good to be back!
Oh no, the Freak is back and it is posting as Ben Parrish. First it
posted as a AOL user, then SEN EXXON, and next Ben Parrish. Will it ever
end. At least the Freak has learned to use lower case letters.
- Ben
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which one is right.
And which is an illusion???."
from Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues 1967
BenF
On Wed, 31 May 1995, Suzan wrote:
> Now, correct me if I am wrong <and I am sure someone will>
>
> But this is dc.romance.... not dc.personals. I didn't think this group was
> supposed to be for personal ads or did alt.config just misname it? Could
> be since to the best of my knowledge dc.personals or alt.personals.dc
> doesn't exist.
Well actually this is dc.personals.flame.flame.flame, but we had to name
it something else to encourage people to post.
Michael Malak
Ben Parrish <pin...@access2.digex.net> wrote:
>
>I'm just trying to have a good time, alright? To say something moderately
>interesting, that some people will hate, and some people will get a
>decent chuckle out of. You don't like it? TFB.
It's more effective to enflame people with truth and thought than with
drivel.
--
Michael Malak Washington, DC dance info:
ma...@access.digex.net FTP://ftp.digex.net/pub/access/malak/schedule
or e-mail me to subscribe
T A Shaw
Karen Mercedes <merc...@access.digex.net> wrote:
>
>Haven't you got it yet, Ben? The *only* person getting a chuckle out
>of it is you. I think I can safely say the rest of us would be
>perfectly happy never to hear from you again.
Don't you dare speak for me.
Thank you.
Tom
--
--
May I walk in beauty. Make my eyes |L H Dude | oOO
ever behold the red and purple sunset. |l...@cais.com | _____ OO
Make my hands respect the things you have+----------------------| (_/-\_)..
made, and my ears sharp to your voice - Chief Yellow Lark | ==(0).
John Martin
Ben Parrish observes:
"This entire episode just reinforces my two main beliefs in life, which
are :
1. People need to lighten up.
2. Especially internet people."
Agreed. Sitting on your duff all day and night, passively looking at a
monitor will tend to increase your girth and make you more profoundly
newtonian. Also, Ben, it might help you, in this regard, to cut back on
your worm intake.
JM
Ben Parrish
: of it is you.
You lie! You enjoy this just as much as I do. Otherwise you wouldn't
keep *responding*, and this stupid thread wouldn't be up to like 25
replies already. You love it. Not only that, but I think you love ME, too!
Gregory H. Gust
: <verbal warfare between K.Mercedes and B.Parrish deleted>
: You two seem to hate each other with remarkable venom. Did you ever
: perhaps consider getting married?
Maybe they did, a long time ago, and M. Freaky-Creaky-Peeky-Leaky is
their son/daughter? :-)
--
Greg Gust <gr...@clark.net>
"[Baseball] breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The
game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it
blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as
soon as the chill rains come, it stops, and leaves you to face the fall
alone."
_The Green Fields of the Mind_, A. Bartlett Giamatti (1938-1989)
Ben Parrish
: what they say? It seems completely illogical ..... so what if most people
: can't write a decent description of themselves. And if you aren't planning
: on dating any of them ... So what?
This entire episode just reinforces my two main beliefs in life, which
are :
1. People need to lighten up.
2. Especially internet people.
I'm just trying to have a good time, alright? To say something moderately
interesting, that some people will hate, and some people will get a
decent chuckle out of. You don't like it? TFB.
: || So, uh, like...I dunno, do ya, maybe wanna go out some time or
: || something? I'm a shy, sensitive 23 year old, I like...
: I can, at least, believe the age part anyway.
Really? Well, tell me this: at what age is it appropriate for one to lose
their sense of humor?
Ben Parrish
: their son/daughter? :-)
Actually, we'd probably have a pretty good kid. As far as I can tell,
we're both pretty sharp. She has the leaning towards cultural and
intellectual experimentation- I, towards turning life into a cartoon.
Our collective rough edges would, by genetic osmosis, get smoothed out a
bit, and you're left with a brilliant, erudite, eloquent, witty little
person.
Of course, growing up around either one of us would cause irreparable
psychological and emotional damage, leading to a double-murder/suicide.
So, in my view, it's not worth it.
Plus, I can't stand her. :)
Karen Mercedes
pin...@access2.digex.net (Ben Parrish) writes:
> I'm just trying to have a good time, alright? To say something moderately
> interesting, that some people will hate, and some people will get a
> decent chuckle out of. You don't like it? TFB.
Haven't you got it yet, Ben? The *only* person getting a chuckle out
of it is you. I think I can safely say the rest of us would be
perfectly happy never to hear from you again.
Karen Mercedes
Karen Mercedes
pin...@access2.digex.net (Ben Parrish) writes:
> Plus, I can't stand her. :)
And I take a rather dim view towards any human being who purports to be
able to develop such strong opinions about total strangers. It smacks
of a certain troubling xenophobia and paranoia.
Ram Samudrala
>My complaint was not that personals were not being posted. What do I
>care if they're posted or not? My complaint was that the personals that
>*are* being posted are vapid, unimaginative, cliche-ridden, dronish,
>embarrassing pieces of dreck.
I thought that was the definition of a Personal. I never could
understand the logic of /looking/ for someone. On
alt.culture.internet there's a thread about people who got married
(another concept I don't see logic in) after first meeting on the
'net. And all the posts I've read say they weren't looking and it
just happened.
How many of you are familiar with Timothy Safell and his movie shows?
I think it would be a good place to get together and watch a movie
sometime.
And for the record, I find Ben P's comments amusing. Must have to do
with being 23 (which, by the way, is a prime, and the sum of the two
individual digits, which are prime, is also prime---cool, eh?).
Check out my version of F"ur Elise on the guitar. It shreds (or so
someone said).
I hate waking up at 3a having nothing to do.
--Ram
Check out the TWISTED HELICES band page at http://www.wam.umd.edu/~ram/th
r...@elan1.carb.nist.gov When the history of this century is written,
the one thing that'll stand out the most, even more than the loss of
life and money due to political insipidness, is the development of Quantum
Mechanics and the subsequent biological and computer revolutions.
Ben Parrish
: And I take a rather dim view towards any human being who purports to be
: able to develop such strong opinions about total strangers. It smacks
: of a certain troubling xenophobia and paranoia.
Welcome, one and all, to Ben's Biology Ball! Today we'll be disecting
and analyzing one of our planet's newest and most fascinating creatures,
the smiley face! It's diminutive stature hides its powerful
implications, and it's important for every man, woman, and most children,
to be able to recognize this potentially confusing creature as soon as
possible, to prevent damage to any lower extremeties! Or middle ones!
Ben Parrish
: newtonian. Also, Ben, it might help you, in this regard, to cut back on
: your worm intake.
Hey, very little fat, lots of fiber, what's the problem? And they go
down smooth as a mountain stream. <slurp>
Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they've just come out of a
two-hour college lecture after reading one of John's or Karen's posts?
"Therefore, it follows that, regardless of..." Uggghhh.
Ben Parrish
: >decent chuckle out of. You don't like it? TFB.
: It's more effective to enflame people with truth and thought than with
: drivel.
I don't care if anyone gets enflamed or not. People hating me and liking
me are just byproducts of my "craft." I'd rather everyone loved me, but
I will not hold myself responsible for the emotions of others.
I'm convinced people really hate seeing anyone else enjoy their life.
John Buehler
>I'd write one that would make all the ladies swoon and make all the men
>instantly turn gay, but so far I haven't seen anyone on this group that
>I'm particularly ISO. If you know what I mean.
If the authors of the personals had that kind of raw energy and zest
for life, they wouldn't be sitting in front of a flaming computer,
typing away on a lousy keyboard (a relatively sterile and isolated
approach). They'd be out using that energy, living life for all it
has to offer. Personally, I'm a bit impressed by the fact that people
don't lie their molars out with outrageous claims.
The men and women that everyone is In Search Of are living and
breathing out in the real world. The odds are a damnsight greater
that a friend/spouse can be found there than here.
Having said that, I also understand why a certain percentage of
folks do visit newsgroups like this one. It's less painful than the
alternative. Why am *I* here? Just revisiting to see how things are
going...
JB, a teeny bit different from the last time he was seen here
--
John Buehler
Template Software, Inc.
13100 Worldgate Drive, Suite 340
Herndon, VA 22070-4382
email: John.B...@template.com voice: 703-318-1000 fax: 703-318-7378
"Live Your Life. That's What It's For."
Michael Malak
John Buehler <John.B...@template.com> wrote:
>
> If the authors of the personals had that kind of raw energy and zest
>for life, they wouldn't be sitting in front of a flaming computer,
>typing away on a lousy keyboard (a relatively sterile and isolated
>approach). They'd be out using that energy, living life for all it
>has to offer.
What does life have to "offer"?
Aren't intellectual pursuits nobler than recreation? Can't we think
of talking on newsgroups as the potato chips of higher thought? Sure
I need my balanced diet, but are you trying to deny me my potato chips?
My cholesterol count is my own business.
Ben Parrish
: ROTFL
It is my art form! The keys are my brushes, and the screen is my canv-
oh, alright, I'm just doing it to kill some good time at work. :)
: Then I must be hated.
People also love telling other people how happy they are. It's no wonder
nobody gets along.
Ben Parrish
Great question. Really. You people ought to think about that.
: Aren't intellectual pursuits nobler than recreation? Can't we think
: of talking on newsgroups as the potato chips of higher thought? Sure
: I need my balanced diet, but are you trying to deny me my potato chips?
: My cholesterol count is my own business.
No, the real problem is that people feel they know what everyone "should"
be doing, and won't be happy letting people do what they *want* to do (as
in, "it's really sad that people find amusement by...") This, in a few
other forms, is at the root of 99% of the world's problems. Maybe 100%.
I don't think it's done out of conscious malice. I think that's how
human nature evolved (and perhaps *without* these urges, we wouldn't be
here to discuss it, eh?)
T A Shaw
Ben Parrish <pin...@access5.digex.net> wrote:
>: >I'm just trying to have a good time, alright? To say something moderately
>: >interesting, that some people will hate, and some people will get a
>: >decent chuckle out of. You don't like it? TFB.
>
>: It's more effective to enflame people with truth and thought than with
>: drivel.
>
>I don't care if anyone gets enflamed or not. People hating me and liking
>me are just byproducts of my "craft." I'd rather everyone loved me, but
>I will not hold myself responsible for the emotions of others.
Craft?
ROTFL
>I'm convinced people really hate seeing anyone else enjoy their life.
Then I must be hated.
This whole post to quote, "This isn't right. This isn't even wrong"
[some physicist]
Now where is the 'U' key.....
Tom
>[ pin...@access.digex.net ... Ben Parrish ]
>[ A .sig is a lot like life. One minute it's there, and the nex
And like me......
Ram Samudrala
>Aren't intellectual pursuits nobler than recreation?
Why do you presume the former to not imply the latter always?
Intellectual pursuit IS recreation. Playing video games or basketball
or whatever it is you do to "relax" is work, since you WORK to relax.
<-:
Seriously though, there's no need for intellectual pursuits to not be
a recreation. In fact, a person who does hard manual labour all day
might relax by solving a few problems in number theory. It all
depends on how you pursue your intellectual activities (or any
activity) for it to be considered "recreation" or "toil".
--Ram
r...@elan1.carb.nist.gov Let's not judge outselves by race,
religion, colour, or by sex. Let's reach out to one another bring out
our very best. We believe in what we're sayin' so put your trust in
us. We express ourselves by playin', we're called Psychefunkapus.
Michael Malak
unless you were actually confused by Mr. Samudrala's post.
In article <3qljuk$a...@hecate.umd.edu>,
Ram Samudrala <r...@elan1.carb.nist.gov> wrote:
>Michael Malak (ma...@access2.digex.net) wrote:
>
>>Aren't intellectual pursuits nobler than recreation?
>
>Seriously though, there's no need for intellectual pursuits to not be
>a recreation. In fact, a person who does hard manual labour all day
>might relax by solving a few problems in number theory. It all
>depends on how you pursue your intellectual activities (or any
>activity) for it to be considered "recreation" or "toil".
Although you could construe number theory out of the dictionary definition
of "recreation", you could not do so from modern common usage of the
word. For example, in your local county "Parks & Recreation" listing
of courses, do you find number theory listed?
What you seem to be calling recreation I would call either play or
pleasure.
I was contrasting exercising the intellect with exercising the body and/or
lesser mind skills. I was not contrasting work with play. Rather, I
was contrasting two forms of play.
Laurie Brown
tes:
>
>T A Shaw (l...@cais3.cais.com) wrote:
>: Karen Mercedes <merc...@access.digex.net> wrote:
>: >
>: >Haven't you got it yet, Ben? The *only* person getting a chuckle out
>: >of it is you. I think I can safely say the rest of us would be
>: >perfectly happy never to hear from you again.
>
>
>What he said.
>
>Sharon
ditto
Laurie
lbr...@worldweb.net
Ram Samudrala
Michael Malak (ma...@access5.digex.net) wrote:
>I was contrasting exercising the intellect with exercising the body
>and/or lesser mind skills. I was not contrasting work with play.
>Rather, I was contrasting two forms of play.
Fine, but your statement "isn't intellectual pursuit nobler than
recreation" implies that intellectual pursuit and recreation cannot be
synonymous. Also, things listed in "Parks and Recreation" in a map
book are neither complete nor consistent.
As far as it being nobler: it depends on what you consider a
"intellectual pursuit". I consider composing/writing/recording music
to be "intellectual". Some might consider it a recreation, however,
and simply an exercise in lesser mind skills. I also consider any
indulgence in an "art" form (I consider Science to be one also) a
recreation. But once I do this, you can then make almost anything
into an "art form", like creative rollerblading or creative cooking or
creative gardening, etc. <-:
So is rollerblading exercising lesser mind skills? Have you tried to
rollerblade backwards? You could argue it's a different sort of "mind
skill", one that is based on conditioning rather than working it
through. But I've not made a decision on this yet... I think good
rollerblading (what the people near the fountains on Pennsylvania
Ave. do) requires as much effort (on my part at least)
"intellectually" as solving a problem in abstract algebra.
But I agree with you. Intellectual pursuits are cooler than physical
activities---like exercise.
--Ram
Check out the TWISTED HELICES www page http://www.wam.umd.edu/~ram/th
r...@elan1.carb.nist.gov Person man, person man. Hit on the head
with a frying pan. Lives his life in a garbage can. Person man,
is depressed or is he a mess? Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with person man? Degraded man, person man. ---TMBG
Matt Bennett
>: >
>: >Haven't you got it yet, Ben? The *only* person getting a chuckle out
>: >of it is you. I think I can safely say the rest of us would be
>: >perfectly happy never to hear from you again.
>
>: Don't you dare speak for me.
>
>What he said.
ditto...
Umm... let me expound on this a bit. I am getting a lot of fun out of this
back and forth. Karen, months ago, you were the source of a lot of wry
humor that was misinterpreted like Ben's. It is interesting to see the
roles reversed. This really does beat 900 number ads, doesn't it?
Matt
Dr. Moze
pin...@access5.digex.net (Ben Parrish) writes:
> I don't care if anyone gets enflamed or not. People hating me and liking
> me are just byproducts of my "craft."
err... You misspelled "crap."
----
Dr. Moze (Steve Marsh) ma...@anvil.nrl.navy.mil
Dave Aronson
Mercedes:
p> Actually, we'd probably have a pretty good kid. As far as I can
tell,
p> we're both pretty sharp. She has the leaning towards cultural and
p> intellectual experimentation- I, towards turning life into a
cartoon.
Gary Larson, move over!
Sharon Fenick
: >
: >Haven't you got it yet, Ben? The *only* person getting a chuckle out
: >of it is you. I think I can safely say the rest of us would be
: >perfectly happy never to hear from you again.
: Don't you dare speak for me.
What he said.
Sharon
(Hey Ben, are you by any chance a shy 23 year old...oh, never mind.)
Ben Parrish
: err... You misspelled "crap."
^^^^^^^^^^
You misspelled "have to forgive me, but my premier joy in life is to spew
a lot of".
--
John Martin
Ben Parrish diagnoses:
"No, the real problem is that people feel they know what everyone "should"
be doing, and won't be happy letting people do what they *want* to do (as
in, "it's really sad that people find amusement by...") This, in a few
other forms, is at the root of 99% of the world's problems. Maybe 100%.
I don't think it's done out of conscious malice. I think that's how
human nature evolved (and perhaps *without* these urges, we wouldn't be
here to discuss it, eh?)"
So, then, everything is permitted, even in romance?
Bayard
>forgive me, but my premier joy in life is to spew a lot of
That's become rather painfully clear. Yet who are we to deny you your
byproducts? Thou art but a gadfly in the buttocks of internet... Still,
should not the freedom bestowed upon thee be available to the writers of
the boring personals?
John Martin
>>Ben Parrish (pin...@access2.digex.net) wrote:
>>forgive me, but my premier joy in life is to spew a lot of
>That's become rather painfully clear. Yet who are we to deny you your
>byproducts? Thou art but a gadfly in the buttocks of internet... Still,
>should not the freedom bestowed upon thee be available to the writers of
>the boring personals?
entitled:
"Oversexed Private Pilot ISO..."
Samuel Silverstein
: I'd respond to this, but I have no idea what it says. Something about
: painful buttocks...
It means put up or shut up. You've stimulated lots of mostly pointless
discussion but never made good on your boast. Get yer buttocks in gear!
Ben Parrish
I never promised you a rose garden. Or a rose petal. Or a rose. Or a
compass rose. Or a Rose Kennedy. Or a Roseanne. Or a Rose, Rose, Rose
your boat. Or rose-colored glasses. Or a Pete Rose (wanna bet?) A rose
by any other name, and the sun rose this morning, and Roes v. Wades, and
Rosanna Arquette, and Patricia Arquette, and Patricia Ford, and Ford
Motors, and General Motors, and General Hospital, and southern
hospitality, and southern accents, and my two accents, and my three sons,
and everything under the sun is in tune, but the sun is eclipsed by the
moon.
I never promised you any of that.
Ben Parrish
: That's become rather painfully clear. Yet who are we to deny you your
: byproducts? Thou art but a gadfly in the buttocks of internet... Still,
: should not the freedom bestowed upon thee be available to the writers of
: the boring personals?
I'd respond to this, but I have no idea what it says. Something about
painful buttocks...
--
Bayard
: This group is home to some of the most embarassing personal ads I've ever
: seen. Jesus Christ, people, you don't have to pay by the *line* here.
: It's FREE. Say something interesting, huh?
: Hi, 24 year old white male, shy, sensitive, looking for companion for a
: few chuckles, or maybe more. I'm a nonsmoker, and I love to dance and go
: to movies and stuff spaghetti down my face as fast as I-
: What IS this? This is the best you can do? "Hi, I'm an un-person."
: I wanna see some really GOOD personals on here pretty goddamn soon, I'll
: tell you that. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.
: I'd write one that would make all the ladies swoon and make all the men
: instantly turn gay.....
Clever how you pivoted from "I'M mad as hell...." to "I'D write one..."
Which I interpret as meaning,
"I'M going to pretend to be passionate about something silly because I
LOVE attention."
Ben Parrish
: "I'M going to pretend to be passionate about something silly because I
: LOVE attention."
See? This guy got it right away. What the hell's the matter with the
rest of you people?
Sharon Fenick
: So, then, everything is permitted, even in romance?
All's fair in...
Oh, never mind.
Sharon
Richard Westlake
says...
>
>: It means put up or shut up. You've stimulated lots of mostly
pointless
>: discussion but never made good on your boast. Get yer buttocks in
gear!
>
Let's get off Ben's back, folks. Past posts seem to indicate that he's
found something big, wide and high enough to take his mind off lousy
personals and gadflown buttocks on the Internet.
My condolences, Ben, on your graduation to become a tin-fly in the TCA.
(That's Class B airspace, by the new standards.) Have fun on radar....
and when they ask you about the Mile High Club, just smile tolerantly.
Jeremy Idol
ul> : So, then, everything is permitted, even in romance?
ul> All's fair in...
ul> Oh, never mind.
Love and war, eh? I guess this is where I'll jump in and say that
love in
some ways is a war. Hold on, don't jump me yet. Lemme explain...
I just got out of a relationship with this girl named Traci. I loved
her to
death, and she knew it. I am the time of person that believes that
when 2
people enter a relationship of this kind, you should be there for the
other
person to lean on when they need help. I however was becoming a safety
net
for her. She had the, "Jeremy will fix it for me," attitude and every
time I
would make her make a decision about what she wanted ( Life, Career,
day to
day wants/need, etc) she'd get a bit bent and pick up all of her things
and
storm from the place. I'd follow (sucker) and try to calm her down and
be
rational. I'd tell her I loved her and try to help her. I felt like I
was
"Fighting" for her almost every day. Yesterday, after a few weeks of
her
saying, "I don't know. I'm so confused," I said, "fine." I kissed her
on the
forehead, told her I loved her and that I could no longer go on this
way. I
also told her that we were no longer going to see each other on a
steady
basis, and gave her all the room she needed to sort things out. I
don't want
to crowd her and if she doesn't know what she wants, I can't give it to
her.
I may have ruined a good friendship by taking it to this level, but it
was
worth the 6 months of happiness we had together. I may just be venting
my
feelings here, but I am hurt. She has confused me as well. I think I
am
starting the long process of building a wall up around myself again. I
do
this because when I give myself over to loving someone, I do it as a
whole.
I don't sleep around, I don't say it unless I mean it, and I try to
do the
small things that will make my partner happy. She was the first one to
get
thru this wall of mine in over 3 years. I am numb right now, I am
hoping I
stay this way for awhile, I do miss her though.
Jeremy Sends...
... "I'm down to just one thing and i'm starting to scare myself" - NIN
barbara doran
good idea. I meant to go last Saturday, but forgot.
Barb
--
ba...@netcom.com
WaxDude
/: their son/daughter? :-)
/Actually, we'd probably have a pretty good kid. As far as I can tell,
/we're both pretty sharp. She has the leaning towards cultural and
/intellectual experimentation- I, towards turning life into a cartoon.
/Our collective rough edges would, by genetic osmosis, get smoothed out a
/bit, and you're left with a brilliant, erudite, eloquent, witty little
/person.
/Of course, growing up around either one of us would cause irreparable
/psychological and emotional damage, leading to a double-murder/suicide.
/So, in my view, it's not worth it.
/Plus, I can't stand her. :)
/--
/[ pin...@access.digex.net ... Ben Parrish ]
/[ A .sig is a lot like life. One minute it's there, and the nex
SORRY I WOULD HAVE TO DIVORCE MY SELF FROM YOU TWO FOR MENTAL ANGUISH.
FREAK
HMM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, LEAKY, CREAKY, I LIKE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!
STAY TUNED!
PS. BEN, YOUR CESSNA BITE THE DUST NOSE FIRST YET?
TOO BAD!
FART
/
\|/ /
O
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
WaxDude
Actually, we'd probably have a pretty good kid. As far as I can tell,
we're both pretty sharp. She has the leaning towards lesbianl and
kinky experimentation- I, towards turning life into a cartoon.
Our collective rough edges would, by genetic osmosis, get smoothed out a
bit, and you're left with a brilliant, erudite, eloquent, witty little
person.
Of course, growing up around either one of us would cause irreparable
psychological and emotional damage, leading to a double-murder/suicide.
So, in my view, it's not worth it.
Plus, I can't stand her. :)
--
[ pin...@access.digex.net ... Ben Parrish ]
[ A .sig is a lot like life. One minute it's there, and the nex
Paul Robinson
: : >I'm just trying to have a good time, alright? To say something moderately
: : >interesting, that some people will hate, and some people will get a
: : >decent chuckle out of. You don't like it? TFB.
: : It's more effective to enflame people with truth and thought than with
: : drivel.
: I don't care if anyone gets enflamed or not. People hating me and liking
: me are just byproducts of my "craft." I'd rather everyone loved me, but
: I will not hold myself responsible for the emotions of others.
: I'm convinced people really hate seeing anyone else enjoy their life.
Ben, I've known you for more than 4 years, now, I believe. I also
believed you to be a friend of mine. Knowing you, I realize your comments
about Karen were meant to be in jest, but they sounded extremely cruel,
and if she didn't know you or wasn't aware, it would be very likely she
would take what you said seriously.
--
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"The Greatest Philosopher in the World, maybe the Greatest who ever lived."
(Either that, or I'm insane.)
Paul Robinson
: Note to all: this article is a boring refutation, which you may skip,
: unless you were actually confused by Mr. Samudrala's post.
: In article <3qljuk$a...@hecate.umd.edu>,
: Ram Samudrala <r...@elan1.carb.nist.gov> wrote:
: >Michael Malak (ma...@access2.digex.net) wrote:
: >
: >>Aren't intellectual pursuits nobler than recreation?
: >
: >Seriously though, there's no need for intellectual pursuits to not be
: >a recreation. In fact, a person who does hard manual labour all day
: >might relax by solving a few problems in number theory. It all
: >depends on how you pursue your intellectual activities (or any
: >activity) for it to be considered "recreation" or "toil".
: Although you could construe number theory out of the dictionary definition
: of "recreation", you could not do so from modern common usage of the
: word. For example, in your local county "Parks & Recreation" listing
: of courses, do you find number theory listed?
I know of at least one book in which a bunch of numeric or word or logic
puzzles were listed as "Mathematical Recreations."
: What you seem to be calling recreation I would call either play or
: pleasure.
I think the words are synonyms.
Ben Parrish
: Ben, I've known you for more than 4 years, now, I believe. I also
: believed you to be a friend of mine. Knowing you, I realize your comments
: about Karen were meant to be in jest, but they sounded extremely cruel,
: and if she didn't know you or wasn't aware, it would be very likely she
: would take what you said seriously.
First of all, you've "known" me for over six years. I'm curious what
definition of "friend" includes people who you've met twice for a total
of about 90 minutes. But this is tangential.
Regardless, you've never shown a propensity for dealing with unorthodox
humor. This is one of the things I've talked to you about. For while
some of my jokes "sound extremely cruel" to you, there are still others
who are not quite as bothered, and maybe even amused.
And believe me, to some extent, I meant everything I said to Karen. Or
if not to Karen, then at least to the person she presents herself as.
I am not excited by people who know how everyone and everything "should"
be. She is one of these people. So are you, to a great extent.
You work to fix your problem, however. She takes pride in hers.
Paul Robinson
: No, the real problem is that people feel they know what everyone "should"
: be doing, and won't be happy letting people do what they *want* to do (as
: in, "it's really sad that people find amusement by...") This, in a few
: other forms, is at the root of 99% of the world's problems. Maybe 100%.
: I don't think it's done out of conscious malice. I think that's how
: human nature evolved (and perhaps *without* these urges, we wouldn't be
: here to discuss it, eh?)
"Nobody ever said, 'Will you please pass a law so I will stop doing
something I don't want to do?' They always say, 'Please pass a law so
that THEY will stop doing something I don't want them to do.'"
- Mannie O'Kelly
in Robert A. Heinlein's "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"
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Paul Robinson
: : > me are just byproducts of my "craft."
: : err... You misspelled "crap."
: ^^^^^^^^^^
: You misspelled "have to forgive me, but my premier joy in life is to spew
: a lot of".
Ben, you're doing very well today!
--
Ask me about Listmgr - the first PC-Based mailing list manager for E-Mail.
Paul Robinson
: (Yes, I know I said I was gone, but I lied. TFB.)
: And believe me, to some extent, I meant everything I said to Karen. Or
: if not to Karen, then at least to the person she presents herself as.
: I am not excited by people who know how everyone and everything "should"
: be. She is one of these people. So are you, to a great extent. / \
|
Ben, I never once used that ------------------------------------------|
word. I did not say anything about what was a requirement for you; I
have no authority to dictate your existence or what you are to do with
it, no matter how miserable I think you are making yourself.
It's been the last few days that I am starting to see where you are
coming from, and how you got there, and with that, I can perhaps learn
how you do that writing. I guess what it is, is that I never tried to do
free association, or do some of the stuff you're doing. I should
probably raise my medication in order to make me more able to do silly
humor like you're doing. I'm pretty good at it, myself, but you've had
more practice at it.
: You work to fix your problem, however. She takes pride in hers.
Thank you for the vote of confidence in me.
Paul Robinson
: I don't care if anyone gets enflamed or not. People hating me and liking
: me are just byproducts of my "craft." I'd rather everyone loved me, but
: I will not hold myself responsible for the emotions of others.
: I'm convinced people really hate seeing anyone else enjoy their life.
Ben, I think that's one of the most profound things I've ever heard you
say. How come you never think of good lines like this over on the Bull
and Finch BBS, or whatever you are calling it this week?
Ben Parrish
: Ben Parrish (pin...@access2.digex.net) wrote:
: : (Yes, I know I said I was gone, but I lied. TFB.)
: : And believe me, to some extent, I meant everything I said to Karen. Or
: : if not to Karen, then at least to the person she presents herself as.
: : I am not excited by people who know how everyone and everything "should"
: : be. She is one of these people. So are you, to a great extent. / \
: |
: Ben, I never once used that ------------------------------------------|
: word.
You absolutely have. Every day you say things like that. As in, "people
shouldn't be gay." Your insane stance against homosexuality damages
whatever credibility you might have had. It's as religious a belief as
anything a church ever turned out.
: probably raise my medication in order to make me more able to do silly
: humor like you're doing. I'm pretty good at it, myself, but you've had
: more practice at it.
No, I'm just a natural friggin' genius.
Michael Malak
Ben Parrish <pin...@access5.digex.net> wrote:
>
>You absolutely have. Every day you say things like that. As in, "people
>shouldn't be gay." Your insane stance against homosexuality damages
>whatever credibility you might have had. It's as religious a belief as
>anything a church ever turned out.
Or Plato.
--
Michael Malak Washington, DC dance info:
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