IMPORTANT NOTE: Our old email addresses (from a few years back) will
be disabled as of the new year, so if you're among the people who
still send us mail at roadrunner.com or adelphia.net, please note the
current addresses: Jeff: manon...@verizon.net or jpmagui...@gmail.com
Lynn: lynnsw...@verizon.net (note the number 7 after lynnswan)
Thanks so much for making the change.
Dear friends and family,
We're enjoying a bittersweet holiday season, our first without Danny.
We often find ourselves shedding tears in unexpected times and places,
as when I heard "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" in the
produce section the other day. Thankfully, we're still receiving vast
amounts of love from family and friends.
Initially, we decided not to get a tree or deck the house in the old,
familiar ways, feeling that each ornament or mantle dressing would be
too reminiscent of Danny spreading seasonal cheer to one and all with
his music and humor. But our reluctance slowly diminished: Lynn went
out and got a small tree which she and Katie trimmed. And one-by-one
the boxes came in from the garage and decorations found their way to
the usual places.
We also planned to forego our traditional trip the day after Christmas
to New Hampshire, where we have a house alongside my mother's place on
a frozen pond in idyllic woods. The first day of every winter trip was
spent shoveling snow and grooming a most excellent hockey rink. Each
year, we'd drag a pair of small hockey goals out of the basement and
spend days and nights on the ice. We'd play marathon hockey games with
local friends or with whatever family members we could persuade to
come out in the cold. But more often we played one-on-one, Danny and
me, for hours and hours. Long after dark, we'd be out there using a
clear plastic puck illuminated by a tiny glow-stick. In a good year,
we'd enjoy moonlight as well. On more than one New Year's Eve Lynn had
to call us in at midnight for the family celebration. It was the best.
So I figured it'd be too hard to gaze out on the pond this year,
especially when the sun is going down and the cold wind rises in the
shadows. But then we got word that my sisters and brother and all
their kids will be up there with my mom, and Lynn decided she really
wanted to go. So we got tickets. And now Andy and Tricia have decided
to come along too. And we'll all excited about going.
And the best news of all is that we only have to make it through this
one difficult Christmas, because at this time next year we're going to
be busy with TWO babies underfoot: when Lynn and I returned from a
perfect trip to India in November, we were ecstatic to learn that
Tricia and Andy are expecting twins. As I've told many friends, I
can't help but think Danny had a hand in arranging for two babies to
come: had there been only one, Tricia and Andy might have kept it to
themselves, but with two they're going to need help plenty of help
from all the grandparents. And in the wake of Danny's passing, we've
got plenty of time and love to lavish.
They don't yet know the twins' gender but it appears the pair will be
identical. Lynn being an identical twin, Andy and Tricia have a
veteran on their team.
You may remember that I wrote last year my cousin Kristi's passing a
few days before Christmas after a long bout of cancer. In August,
Kristi's daughter Julie and her fiancé Tim Austin, welcomed a
beautiful boy named Oscar; and now Kristi's daughter Rachael and
husband Dan Lingle are expecting a baby girl named Ruby in April.
Loved ones pass and our hearts sink. New souls to love appear and our
hearts are picked up again. Danny taught us that our time in the
material world is temporary and often painful but can be transcended
with love, faith and good cheer.
When Danny was in second grade, he came home from school confused
because Ian Cogshall had told him there's no such thing as Santa
Claus. He asked me if it was true. I thought for a moment and replied,
"Well Danny, all I know is that the kids who believe in Santa gets
gifts from him; and the ones who don't believe in him don't." Danny
considered this, nodded and went out to play. We never discussed the
existence of Santa again, from that day to the day he passed, and
every year until this one there have been gifts beneath the tree
marked, "To Danny. Love, Santa."
It may sound sappy but, for reasons I don't claim to understand, faith
works much the same way: those who have it receive comfort and
strength; those who don't have it don't. In May of this year, I lost
what was most precious to me in all the world, and I'm still able to
smile and love my family and friends. For that, I feel blessed and
grateful every day. Thank you.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, a belated Eid Mubarak, and here's
hoping we all enjoy a happy, healthy 2009.
Love,
Jeff
Merry Christmas!
With Love, and UNITY,
Lynn
"God bless us everyone." —-- Tiny Tim in "A Christmas Carol".
Attached are three photos:
1) Danny and Lynn, Christmas 2006
2) Andy and Danny from a Christmas long ago.
3) For a laugh: Danny's friends last Saturday riding off to the first
stop on their Christmas Pub Crawl. The next day they all convened at
our house for a Christmas/Hanukka Sing-a-long. Huge fun.
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