Assistance is Needed

[JDean]

I would like feedback on my cover letter to potential investors.

Downtown Fort Wayne is in the critical crossroads of revitalization.
In the past three years there has been a strong momentum to add new
restaurants, sports facilities, small retailers and technology
businesses have been added the current mix. In that same time frame,
the central core of Fort Wayne has lost a number of entities,
including accounting firms, law practices and investment corporations.
Additional private firms may relocate due to today’s technological
advances. Therefore in this frequent shift of individuals within the
central core, there must be a strong focus on building a critical mass
to redensify the area and allow for sustainability.

OurSpace Fort Wayne will be coworking site, in downtown, that is
planned to to open in Spring, 2009. Coworking is a movement to
create cafe-like community/collaboration spaces for entrepreneurs,
innovators, developers, writers and others. Although no specific site
has been selected, it is believed that the workspace will have room
for 30 members per day; a minimum of 45 individuals will use the site
per week. Along with a space for work, members will have access to a
lounge/kitchen, private offices and conference facilities.

To ensure that OurSpace is successful, your assistance is needed.
OurSpace will developed with funds from private investors who believe
in utilizing innovation, ingenuity and creativy to revitalize and
build critical mass in Fort Wayne’s central core . In addition,
OurSpace is currently seeking potential members that would benefit
from the space’s offerings. Finally, OurSpace is procuring
partnerships that will assist members grow and sustain their business,
balance work and life and maintain a active lifestyle.

Enclosed in this packet of information is an executive summary of the
plan and membership rates. A full business plan is available upon
request. To obtain additional information or a business plan please
contact Jodi Dean, OurSpace founder, at number.

[Karen Origlio]

Hi Jodi,

I have some experience editing and can provide feedback.
I'll send you suggestions in a Word doc off-list.

Congrats on your exciting plans!

Karen

[Allie Allie]

Hello,

I'd like to suggest that you develop a marketing plan first, if you haven't already.  If you have, what this letter needs to reflect is how your idea of coworking space fulfills a new market need.  The letter below will be unclear to anyone who isn't familiar with the concept.

-Allyson Saad

[Julie]

Nice start.

Quick 2 cents: Provide a list of people with "letters of intent" to
join such a space.

Good luck!

Julie Duryea
owner, souk
322 nw 6th avenue, suite 200
portland, oregon 97209
p | 503.517.6900
f | 503.517.6901
skype julieduryea
http://www.soukllc.com
tweet soukportland

On Oct 8, 1:17 pm, "Allie Allie" <amsa...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I'd like to suggest that you develop a marketing plan first, if you haven't
> already. If you have, what this letter needs to reflect is how your idea of
> coworking space fulfills a new market need. The letter below will be
> unclear to anyone who isn't familiar with the concept.
>
> -Allyson Saad
>

[JDean]

Thank you for all the input! The letter is part of a multiple piece
to investors that includes a summary of the business plan, marketing
information and more.

Jodi Dean
OurSpace Fort Wayne

On Oct 9, 1:12 pm, Julie <soukju...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Nice start.
>
> Quick 2 cents:  Provide a list of people with "letters of intent" to
> join such a space.
>
> Good luck!
>
> Julie Duryea
> owner, souk
> 322 nw 6th avenue, suite 200
> portland, oregon  97209
> p  |  503.517.6900
> f  |  503.517.6901

> skype julieduryeahttp://www.soukllc.com

> > > > contact Jodi Dean, OurSpace founder, at number.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -