(cmm wisdom) the keys to godhood
mister c
For example, the infamous Sect of the Silly Synonym maintains that
Gods are merely Dogs and Dogs should thus be worshipped. For those
interested in this awful little sect (composed of a single anonymous
member), they believe that the Supreme Dog who actually made the
universe was in fact an English Springer Spaniel, and that any other
Dog proclaiming its supreme-beingness is merely a pretender to Doghood
and desrves to be leashed.
However, the more conventional Sects and Sub-Cults of CMM have a much
more proper outlook on Godhood and its subsequent effects on our
lifestyle. Many of them, that is to say a vast majority of them,
believe whole-heartedly in a series of Internal Gateways which will
open, similar to a puzzlebox, revealing not an internal god, but the
presence of the Self, which exists externally to the Vehicle Body in
this physical realms. Access to this external figure, or God, creates,
as you no doubt can envision, endless possibility for advancement,
enlightenment, and sexual antics so far unheard of.
Because, and let's face it, sex is all we're after, right?
Well, maybe.
For others, such as the Sect of Foreign Couching, an opening of the
Internal Gateways leads to the possibility of Immortal Couching on
Foreign Worlds. That is, the setting up of a couch on every known
planetoidy thingummy floating in this infinite universe and the
watching thereon of a single sunset and rating it out of ten for
posterity. So far, in the book of the Sect of Foreign Couching, only
one couch has been set up for this singular purpose, and unfortunately
it's on the planet Earth, and this has only scored a two. Highly
disappointing for that particular sect, I assure you.
In the meantime, the Powers that Be and Lead the CMM Cult of Sub-Cults
and internal Secular Devices, have so far identified one key to the
opening of these Internal Gateways and it is, unfortunately Not Very
Secret. A pity really, because CMM has always wanted some Occult-style
secret knowledge.
It appears that the denial of satisfaction is the first key. Or,
rather, Lust. You see, satisfaction leads to contentment, which leads
to acceptance of fate, and that is purely antagonistic to the seeking
within-without of our Gateways. Not very good, as you can see.
This revelation, courtesy of the Great All-Knowing Pooh-Pooher of
Scientificky Stuff, Creepy Reverend Ghoul, has caused somewhat of a
stir in CMM Sub-Cults and Secular Devices as you could probably
imagine. You see, most see satisfaction of a goal as a final stage of
development rather than as the fading of Influence. Unfortunate,
really, and this has lead to the formation of several masochistic Sub-
Cults over the years with some truly imaginitive solutions to the
problem of goal-satisfaction.
For example, the Denial Cult has denied not only satisfaction, but
goals as well, thus any identified goal is seen as little more than an
icon to be burned in a ritual of religious frenzy which rivals even
those seen by the Spanish Inquisition and has resulted in the
accidental deaths of most of the Sub-Cult over a thirteen year period.
However, it has also resulted in the MIA announcements of over two of
its members, making it the Sub-Cult most likely to have successfully
helped members to achieve an opening of the Internal Gateway through
the use of the Key of Godhood.
For the most part, Godhood seems to be a symbol not of world-creation,
but of the exiting of the universal norms in which we currently
reside, and an entry into the realms of the fantastic. Considering the
wealth of knowledge attained by many of CMM's leading scholars on the
subject, it also appears that Godhood is not the lonely existence it
once was preached to be. On the contrary, as an individual attains
Godhood, through the Key to Godhood which opens the Internal Gateways,
it seems that Godhood changed nothing, and instead of meeting people
in park, say, you meet other Gods on an asteroid belt, which is pretty
much the same thing, but on a much larger scale and with a much more
serious problem relating to dog droppings than your local park,
especially in the view of those poor people from the Sect of the Silly
Synonym.
Curiously enough, the only one to ever return from a bout of Godhood
was one Spooky Goblin, who maintained that Godhood was not all it was
cracked up to be and that there was very little chance of getting
Natalia Semanova to have sex with you even if you are a God. He went
on to write the now-famous book, Godhood and I; A Spiritual Journey
through Ballpoint Pens, in which he maintains many Gods give up their
lives to become Ballpoint pens which are, apparently, examples of
simple perfection.
And, considering Spooky Goblin was a God and thus knows everything in
the known Universe as well as the Unknown one, who are we to argue
with that?
~
Chaos Mages spend most of their time trying to get into other people's
pants, primarily for sexual gratification. The rest of their time is
spent trying to conceal this fact from a third party, while keeping
the second party immune to fallout and probable discover by any
fourth, fifth, or sixth party who might further report the
inaccuracies of the first party to the third party, thereby rendering
any future parties totally unlikely.
It is a common misconception that the most successful CMM Sub-Cult is
the Lust Cult, which preaches an abandonment of monastic lifestyles,
and completely condemns any form of faithful behaviour in regard to
sexual discoveries. The Lust Cult proudly boast one of the biggest
Manifestos in the CMM library which, at a grand 14,002 words,
completely outlines a wide variety of diversionary tactics designed to
further obfuscate any dealing with parties outside of the second
party, and sometimes including, but never truly excluding, the third,
seventh, and eighth party. It also reveals a whole paragraph devoted
to how to best achieve the perfect balance between lust and
fulfillment, much of which involves plenty of rest before recreation.