The ONLY way to get RAW, UNBRIDLED SPEED in an Amiga program
Dan Barrett
Some folks wrote about:
>Subject: Re: Assembler Programming - Costs versus Benefits
>Subject: Re: Awesome! Now I am Pi**ed!
>Basically, writing a portable program blah blah blah...
You people in comp.sys.amiga just don't know what you are TALKING
about! It is TOTALLY OBVIOUS to me that NONE of you have EVER WRITTEN a
computer program. If you want to see RAW SPEED in an Amiga game, you MUST
check out
**** B L A Z E M O N G E R ****
THIS IS THE FASTEST AMIGA GAME EVER WRITTEN -- NOTHING ELSE EVEN COMES CLOSE!
Tired of TURRICAN? Is the BEAST a pussycat?? Does the KILLING
GAME SHOW play like RERUNS of HOME SHOPPING NETWORK??? GET A LIFE!!!!!
BLAZEMONGER animates at 200 FRAMES PER SECOND -- so blindingly FAST that you
need TWO MONITORS just to WATCH THE INTRO!!!
Forget C! Forget ASSEMBLER! Forget all those SLOW, WIMPY
LANGUAGES!! BLAZEMONGER is written in 100% CRAY YMP MACHINE CODE for the
ULTIMATE in SPEED!!!
BLAZEMONGER goes DIRECTLY to the AMIGA HARDWARE for unmatched
performance. While BLAZEMONGER is being played, warm boots (ctrl-A-A) have
ABSOLUTELY NO EFFECT. In fact, you literally CANNOT TURN OFF THE AMIGA
because BLAZEMONGER takes over the power switch!! (How's THAT for a safety
feature??) At the same time, POWERMONGER sends thousands of volts through
your power cable, SOLDERING IT TO THE WALL OUTLET, assuring that UNDER NO
CIRCUMSTANCES can you EVER accidentally stop this game.
Copy protected? You BET!! BLAZEMONGER uses disk protection, dongle
protection, "look up the word in the manual" protection, "look up the word
in the DICTIONARY" protection (Webster's 4th edition), 40-number YALE
COMBINATION LOCK protection, and an impenetrable TEFLON COATING around the
entire disk!!! And for your added safety, your high scores are written to
the super-protected MASTER DISK, so the pesky scores CANNOT ESCAPE and post
themselves to THOUSANDS OF BULLETIN BOARDS, bragging about their MAGNITUDE!
Multitasking? WHO NEEDS IT?!? BLAZEMONGER is SO AMAZINGLY FAST
that it takes LESS TIME to COLD BOOT on our custom OS than it does to SWITCH
SCREENS!! In the time it takes you to run a stupid "clock" program in the
background, you can play FIVE FULL GAMES of BLAZEMONGER!! YOU DON'T NEED
ANYTHING ELSE RUNNING!!!
Playability? NO CHANCE!! The RAW SPEED of BLAZEMONGER is so WILDLY
INTENSE that nobody has EVER beaten this game. You will literally feel WIND
AGAINST YOUR FACE as the images WHIP past your glazed eyes. The average
player dies in FIFTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS before he can even PLUG IN THE
JOYSTICK!!! The best-known high score is in the NEGATIVES!!!
Speaking of joysticks... BLAZEMONGER supports 2-button joysticks,
3-button joysticks, 3-button mice, 6-button shirts, 24-button ELEVATOR
PANELS, and even 256-button TELEPHONE OPERATOR SWITCHBOARDS to give you
precise control over nearly ALL of the 1073 BRAIN-BLASTING ULTIMATE WEAPONS
available at ALL TIMES!!
Does BLAZEMONGER have a 2-player mode? GET REAL!! BLAZEMONGER
supports NINE SIMULTANEOUS PLAYERS through the use of CUSTOM JOYSTICKS.
These little beauties can plug into the serial port, parallel port, SCSI
port, 2nd-disk-drive port, video port, coprocessor slot, RGB monitor port...
even the TWO AUDIO OUTPUTS!! And you can add MORE PLAYERS by modem, FAX, or
GENLOCK!!
So, you C and assembler wimps... go back to your stupid, lazy,
futile, high-level software engineering TRASH. Go play "Monopoly" or
something. There is only ONE TRUE GAME for the Amiga, and it is
BLAZEMONGER. Only $9.95! Look for it in your favorite Amiga software store
-- it's the package shaped like a plastic explosive wrapped around a lit
stick of dynamite.
Dan
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| Dan Barrett, Department of Computer Science Johns Hopkins University |
| INTERNET: bar...@cs.jhu.edu | |
| COMPUSERVE: >internet:bar...@cs.jhu.edu | UUCP: bar...@jhunix.UUCP |
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////
Human1 ~InnerTangent~
> Multitasking? WHO NEEDS IT?!? BLAZEMONGER is SO AMAZINGLY FAST
>that it takes LESS TIME to COLD BOOT on our custom OS than it does to SWITCH
>SCREENS!! In the time it takes you to run a stupid "clock" program in the
>background, you can play FIVE FULL GAMES of BLAZEMONGER!! YOU DON'T NEED
>ANYTHING ELSE RUNNING!!!
BLAZEMONGER however, multitasks with Execellence 2.0 and Hybris
combination.
Just a reminder.
--
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
[] Only Amiga makes it Possible.. | InnerTangent: maxc...@ucselx.sdsu.edu []
[] Mind is the basis of reality. | In Real Life: Bill Chiu []
Keith Gabryelski
(Kent Paul Dolan) writes:
>Dan did neglect to mention one _tiny_ little extra cost option needed
>to make this work; the Cray YMP emulator board, coming soon to an
>Amiga dealer near you.
Damnit Ken! You were under a Non-Disclosure agreement with respect to
the C-YMP [chump] board.
Commodore Lawyers will be contacting you.
Raoul Rodriguez
Could someone repost the original article (or explain how I can read it
again here (step by step please... I've been dealing with finals lately, no
extra assemby required on the instructions needed... :0 ), I thought it
was a classic piece of posting... (not to mention I am going to try it)
BTW, if it public Domain, send it to a ftp location, I am gonna try it
out on the Cray Y-MP here at A&M... (damn thing looks like a red couch)
sucker should REALLY fly then...
Kent Paul Dolan
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
xant...@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG (Kent Paul Dolan) writes:
>> Dan did neglect to mention one _tiny_ little extra cost option needed
>> to make this work; the Cray YMP emulator board, coming soon to an
>> Amiga dealer near you.
> Damnit Kent! You were under a Non-Disclosure agreement with respect to
> the C-YMP [chump] board.
Shows what happens when you hand a loaded disclosure to an idiot.
> Commodore Lawyers will be contacting you.
They'll have to take a number, but it isn't that bad, I think they'd
still be in the single digits. Barely.
Kent, the man from xanth.
<xant...@Zorch.SF-Bay.ORG> <xant...@well.sf.ca.us>
--
Soreheads.
Ben Scott
> **** B L A Z E M O N G E R ****
>
>THIS IS THE FASTEST AMIGA GAME EVER WRITTEN -- NOTHING ELSE EVEN COMES CLOSE!
[... lots of impressive stuff deleted...]
> Speaking of joysticks... BLAZEMONGER supports 2-button joysticks,
>3-button joysticks, 3-button mice, 6-button shirts, 24-button ELEVATOR
>PANELS, and even 256-button TELEPHONE OPERATOR SWITCHBOARDS to give you
[...]
>supports NINE SIMULTANEOUS PLAYERS through the use of CUSTOM JOYSTICKS.
>These little beauties can plug into the serial port, parallel port, SCSI
>port, 2nd-disk-drive port, video port, coprocessor slot, RGB monitor port...
>even the TWO AUDIO OUTPUTS!! And you can add MORE PLAYERS by modem, FAX, or
Hey, sounds like a COOL game, man! Does it run on a 3000?
(I think I read about this one - so many controls, you gotta use your hands,
feet, eyes, mouth and telekinesis just to get the ship to take off, and to
fight anything except the wimpy Zorgon hordes you'll have to have surgery to
implant 78 fire buttons attached to your nerve endings)
. <<<<Infinite K>>>>
(sorry, this was just the first interesting message I've found in the thread
so far...)
--
|Ben Scott, professional goof-off and consultant at The Raster Image, Denver|
|FIDO point address 1:104/421.2, bsc...@isis.cs.du.edu, or BBS (303)424-9831|
|"Spent 4 hours burying the cat!" "Four || The Raster Image IS responsible |
| hours?!?" "It wouldn't keep still..." || for everything I say! | *Amiga* |
Jordan K. Hubbard
GOTTA TELL ME REAL QUIK THO BEFORR^H^HE^H MY MOM FINDS OUT HER MASTURKARD
IS MISSING AND MAKES ME GIV IT BAK. SHOOD I JUST POST THE NUMBUR HERE DOOD?
I ONLY THOT THE COOL GERRMAN HACKURS WENT TO THE HARDWERE! I WANT ONE!
BIFF.
--
PCS Computer Systeme GmbH, Munich, West Germany
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