Afrah Alshaibani
Mary
May 2, 1996. Ever since I can remember, my family attended a non-
denominational conservative Christian church (Church of Christ). I
grew up in the church, taught bible school and sang in the choir. As a
young teenager I began asking questions (as I think everyone does at
one point in their lives): Why was I a member of the Church of Christ
and not say Lutheran, Catholic or Methodist? If various churches are
teaching conflicting doctrine, how do we know which one is right? Are
they all right? Do `all paths lead to God' as I had heard some say?
Others say that as long as you are a good person it doesn't matter
what you believe - is that true?
After some soul searching I decided that I did believe that there was
an ultimate truth and in an attempt to find that truth I began a
comparison study of various churches. I decided that I believed in the
Bible and would join the church that best followed the Bible. After a
lengthy study, I decided to stay with the Church of Christ, satisfied
that its doctrines were biblically sound (unaware at this stage that
there could be various interpretations of the Bible).
I spent a year at Michigan Christian College, a small college
affiliated with the Churches of Christ, but was not challenged
academically and so transferred to Western Michigan University. Having
applied late for student housing, I was placed in the international
dorm. Although my roommate was American, I felt surrounded by strange
people from strange places. It was in fact my first real experience
with cultural diversity and it scared me (having been raised in a
white, middle class, Christian community). I wanted to change dorms
but there wasn't anything available. I did really like my roommate and
decided to stick out the semester.
My roommate became very involved in the dorm activities and got to
know most everyone in the dorm. I however performed with the marching
band and spent most of my time with band people. Marching season soon
ended and finding myself with time on my hands, I joined my roommate
on her adventures around the dorm. It turned out to be a wonderful,
fascinating experience! There were a large number of Arab men living
in the dorm. They were charming, handsome, and a lot of fun to be
around. My roommate started dating one of them and we ended up
spending most of our time with the Arabs. I guess I knew they were
Muslims (although very few of them were practicing). We never really
discussed religion, we were just having fun.
The year passed and I had started seeing one of the Arabs. Again, we
were just enjoying each other's company and never discussed our
religious differences. Neither of us were practicing at this time so
it never really became an issue for us. I did, deep down, feel guilty
for not attending church, but I pushed it in the back of my mind. I
was having too much fun.
Another year passed and I was home for summer vacation when my
roommate called me with some very distressing news: she'd become a
Muslim!! I was horrified. She didn't tell me why she converted, just
that she had spent a lot of time talking with her boyfriend's brother
and it all made sense to her. After we hung up, I immediately wrote
her a long letter explaining that she was ruining her life and to just
give Christianity one more chance. That same summer my boyfriend
transferred to Azusa Pacific University in California. We decided to
get married and move to California together. Again, since neither one
were practicing, religion was not discussed.
Secretly I started reading books on Islam. However I read books that
were written by non-Muslims. One of the books I read was Islam
Revealed by Anis Sorosh. I felt guilty about my friend's conversion. I
felt that if I had been a better Christian, she would have turned to
the church rather than Islam. Islam was a man-made religion, I
believed, and filled with contradictions. After reading Sorosh's book,
I thought I could convert my friend and my husband to Christianity.
At APU, my husband was required to take a few religion courses. One
day he came home from class and said: "The more I learn about
Christianity, the stronger my belief in Islam becomes." At about this
same time he started showing signs of wanting to practice his religion
again. Our problems began. We started talking about religion and
arguing about our different beliefs. He told me I should learn about
Islam and I told him I already knew everything I needed to know. I got
out Sorosh's book and told him I could never believe in Islam. My
husband is not a scholar by any stretch of the imagination, yet he had
an answer for everything I showed him in Sorosh's book. I was
impressed by his knowledge. He told me that if I really wanted to
learn about Islam it must be through Islamic sources. He bought a few
books for me from an Islamic bookstore and I started taking classes at
a local mosque. What a difference the Islam I learned about from
Muslim sources from the Islam I learned about from non-Muslims!
It was so difficult though when I actually decided to convert. My
pride stood in the way for awhile. How could I admit to my husband and
my friend that they were right all along? I felt humiliated,
embarrassed. Soon though, I could deny the truth no longer, swallowed
my pride, and alhamdulilah, embraced Islam - the best decision I ever
made.
A few things I want to say to the non-Muslim reader:
When I originally began my search for the truth all those years ago, I
made a few wrong assumptions. First, I assumed that the truth is with
Christianity only. It never occurred to me at that time to look
outside Christianity. Second, I assumed that the Bible was the true
Word of God. These were bad assumptions because they prohibited me
from looking at things objectively. When I began my earnest study of
Islam, I had to start at the very beginning, with no preconceived
ideas. I was not a Christian looking at Islam; I looked at both Islam
and Christianity (and many other religions) from the point of view of
an outsider. My advice to you is to be a critical thinker and a
critical reader.
Another mistake that many people make when talking about Islam is that
they pick out a certain teaching and judge the whole of Islam on that
one point. For example, many people say that Islam is prejudiced
towards women because Islamic laws of inheritance award the male twice
as much as the female. What they fail to learn, however, is that males
have financial responsibilities in Islam that females do not have. It
is like putting a puzzle together: until you have all the pieces in
the right places, you cannot make a statement about the picture, you
cannot look at one little piece of the puzzle and judge the whole
picture.
Many people said that the only reason I converted was because of my
husband. It is true that I studied Islam because he asked me to - but
I accepted Islam because it is the truth. My husband and I are
currently separated and plan to divorce in June, insha' Allah. My
faith in Islam has never been stronger than it is now. I look forward
to finding a practicing Muslim husband, insha' Allah, and growing in
my faith and practice. Being a good Muslim is my number one priority.
May Allah lead all of us closer to the truth.
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