Hi folks,

I have a question regarding dealing with others with candor.

Suppose I'm in a technical meeting with a potential partner (such as an
investor, customer, or candidate employee).  Suppose I am describing a
new product idea.  My potential partner reacts by saying, "oh that's
cool, and wouldn't it be great if the product also did X."

A lot of the time, "X" is something we've thought about and it turns
out that it's an awful idea.  One could have a five-minute discussion
about why that is, but at this particular moment in the relationship,
it simply doesn't make sense to go there.  Accordingly, I am tempted to
behave sort of as though I agree with the person without actually
agreeing, but somehow that doesn't feel like it's a very high-candor
way to operate.

The question is, what's the right way to handle this situation?

The answer might be, "Ken, why don't you ask Ms. Manners instead.  From
the point of view of the candor club, if this person is a candor club
member, then just tell him that it doesn't turn out to be a good idea,
and if he's not, then go ahead and do anything you want."  Okay, but I
like to take the thinking behind the candor club and apply it as much
as possible to non-members.

Any thoughts?

Thanks,
   -Ken

The key word is "as possible". If it's a negotiation trying to woo a
business partner, then the analysis is:
- how damaging would it be to tell them "we thought about that, but it
has some draw-backs"?
- how damaging would it be to myself to know I'm not candid?
- how important is this business partner opportunity to us?

It really is just a cost/benefit analysis, where the cost is your
feelings about your own dealings, and the benefit being the estimated
increase in chance of negotiation success.

You can also weasel and say something like "yeah, that would take a
while to study in detail, but I hear what you're saying" and move on
-- perhaps that's what you're already doing. It's not lying, but it's
not candid, either.

On 4/18/05, Ken  Duda <Ken.D...@gmail.com> wrote:

I think your suggestion is headed in the right direction --- maybe a
less weaslly version is, "Interesting idea --- we actually explored
that and there are a bunch of issues we bumped into, but I like the way
you're thinking about this, and ... [go back to the main topic here]"
--- positive and honest at the same time.  Or is it weaslly?  I'd like
to avoid being weaslly, doubly so because I can't spell it.

"Interesting idea -- we actually explored that and there are a bunch of
issues..." also makes you look like you're smart and have actually
thought this thing through. If someone can come up with great, new
ideas within 2 seconds of your pitch, then you might not have thought
your area through enough. :)