Re: The Bozeman Conspiracy
Mr.Smartypants
> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
>
> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> you down and kill you too.)
>
> --
Tell Yads.
Loaf of Bread
> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
>
> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> you down and kill you too.)
Who are THEY??
Mr.Smartypants
THEM.
peachy ashie passion
Being a bit slow on this "I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you"
bit, aren't we?
Loaf of Bread
Loaf of Bread
Who?
peachy ashie passion
> On Jul 21, 1:58 pm, peachy ashie passion <exquisitepe...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>> Loaf of Bread wrote:
>>> On Jul 21, 12:51 am, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
>>>> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
>>>> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
>>>> you down and kill you too.)
>>> Who are THEY??
>> Being a bit slow on this "I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you"
>> bit, aren't we?
>
> Just suicidal. :)
Oh.
Um. If you insist.
Okay, you say you're feeling suicidal... how many ways have you
thought about killing yourself?
Mr.Smartypants
everybody knows who "they" are.
Loaf of Bread
Just one.
I figure if I know who "they" are, "they" will have to kill me and
"they will do it right the first time.
Loaf of Bread
But if you know who they are, why haven't they killed you yet?
Mr.Smartypants
THEY're working their way down the list............I'm near the bottom.
GaryRock
GR
"Loaf of Bread" <john...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:30f89152-208d-428c...@z72g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
peachy ashie passion
Ok. Now, has the urge to kill yourself been increasing over the
past two weeks, or would you say it's been steady?
snowman
I was informed in a memo that was circulated last week. I ate the memo
afterwards to preserve the secret.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------
"To Do Is To Be" -Nietzsche
"To Be Is To Do" -Kant
"Do Be Do Be Do" -Sinatra
John Fleming
desk in the scriptorium "Mr.Smartypants"
<bunghol...@lycos.com> wrote:
> $On Jul 21, 4:51 pm, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
> $> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
> $>
> $> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> $> you down and kill you too.)
> $
> $Tell Yads.
That's an idea!
--
John Fleming
Edmonton, Canada
Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he had a genome E-I-E-I-O
With a SNP SNP here and a SNP SNP there,
Here a SNP, there a SNP, everywhere a SNP SNP
Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
John Fleming
desk in the scriptorium Loaf of Bread <john...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
> $On Jul 21, 3:41 pm, "Mr.Smartypants" <anybod...@canada.com> wrote:
> $> On Jul 22, 7:12 am, Loaf of Bread <johnt...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> $> > On Jul 21, 1:27 pm, "Mr.Smartypants" <anybod...@canada.com> wrote:
> $>
> $> > > On Jul 22, 5:13 am, Loaf of Bread <johnt...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> $>
> $> > > > On Jul 21, 12:51 am, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
> $>
> $> > > > > I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
> $>
> $> > > > > (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> $> > > > > you down and kill you too.)
> $>
> $> > > > Who are THEY??
> $>
> $> > > THEM.
> $>
> $> > Who?
> $>
> $> everybody knows who "they" are.
> $
> $But if you know who they are, why haven't they killed you yet?
Maybe he's one of THEM.
John Fleming
the scriptorium peachy ashie passion
<exquisi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> $Loaf of Bread wrote:
> $> On Jul 21, 12:51 am, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
> $>> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
> $>>
> $>> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> $>> you down and kill you too.)
> $>
> $> Who are THEY??
> $
> $bit, aren't we?
Of course, if I told Loaf who THEY were, I'd have to kill
him.
John Fleming
desk in the scriptorium "Mr.Smartypants"
<anyb...@canada.com> wrote:
> $On Jul 22, 5:13 am, Loaf of Bread <johnt...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> $> On Jul 21, 12:51 am, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
> $>
> $> > I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
> $>
> $> > (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> $> > you down and kill you too.)
> $>
> $> Who are THEY??
> $
Good answer.
If Loaf doesn't know, this is a good thing. After all, he
would be safe.
peachy ashie passion
> On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:58:37 GMT, while chained to a desk in
> the scriptorium peachy ashie passion
> <exquisi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> $Loaf of Bread wrote:
>> $> On Jul 21, 12:51 am, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
>> $>> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
>> $>>
>> $>> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
>> $>> you down and kill you too.)
>> $>
>> $> Who are THEY??
>> $
>> $ Being a bit slow on this "I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you"
>> $bit, aren't we?
>
> Of course, if I told Loaf who THEY were, I'd have to kill
> him.
>
Well, that appears to be an option that is still on the table.
Cardinal Snarky of the Fannish Inquisition
and didst finally confess, after taking Muche Tea:
> "They" or "Them" is always George Bush if your a fucking Liberal pansy. GR
ITYM "if you're a US soldier or Marine"...
--
________________________________________________________________________
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Things We(TINW) Didn't Need To Know About Icebreaker, #5:
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"Hey Theophan, I need your help again. Will you please come assist me
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for the education." -- Olympiada thinks she's had an education, and that
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"Who booby-traps a dead end? That's just not right." -- Cordelia
>> Are you the Peter J Ross that I've heard so much about?
>
> Probably. I'm the one who doesn't resort to forgery after losing an
> argument.
"You're the one with the extensive brain damage... okay I see. You're
gonna be easily to own them." -- PorchMonkey4Life: Not aware of too many
things. MID: <bf7xh.834$hH2.64@trnddc02>
At last! See Joxer The Mity Monkey on camera! Watch him freak out!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_WuaENGqz0
"You're just mad that you got tard stomped again fagg0t. You throw
something incredibly lame out there and I ramming it right back down
your throat. And you wonder how I just did what I did to you. You wonder
how I can make something so lame that you tossed out there so gosh darn
amusing when I fling it back at ya.
"Here's the secret: Unlike you, I am *not* retarded. You're tardness
gets in your way every single time, fagboi.
"Are you still crying over your keyboard, c0ckslurper? Is your mouth
wide open and drool falling out. Is your chunky body convulsing as you
think about how you were once again made a fool of? Are yellow boogie
snots running out of your unnaturally large nose down your triple chins?
"Look at what I reduced you too, tard.. I thoroughly enjoy owning and
abusing you.. Thanks for being so tarded and so easy to beat." -- The
PorchMonkey4Life has gone on to re-define red as yellow, black as white,
and being run over by a truck as just a scratch. Message-ID:
<kX3Nh.525$vI1.380@trnddc02>
"And no, I did not have sex with my son. But if I did I certainly
wouldn't tell you. Something so beautiful and precious should be kept
private." -- Kathy L. Mosesian, or possibly not really her, confesses
she may be a liar and committer of incest with her own son, in MID:
<cfcd3f4660694e3a...@msgid.frell.theremailer.net>
The reporter asked Colin Powell (or George Bush), "What proof do you
have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
He replied, "We kept the receipts." -- Bill Hicks
Looney Maroon nominee for August 2006 Johnny D Wentzky foamed:
"You never asked someone who goes into areas of the internet that are
only for adults who has an underage id somehow or another if they are a
cop posing as an underage person online?
I guess lots of people just don't watch dateline or read stories much.
Why don;t you go to pervertedjustice,com and see what they do. They are
awash in their self-proclaimed glory after they lied to membners of the
public.
They are awash in their self-proclaimed glory after they posed as an
underage person and agreed to do all sorts of sex acts wioth adult
males, and they are adults posing as teenager themselves. They make
themsleves into liars by falsely impersonating underage persons and by
not fuilfilling the words they tell the victims online in their chats.
Why don't you read it where they tell these victims of their deceit
about how they have been with grown men and such? Why don't you read it
where they say, "That would be cool." after someone makes an advance
towards an adult who is posing as a teenager? And, where they agree to
meet the person, etc.
Lost control, didn't you?
Is that why you feel as if you need to lie so much now? I see where lots
of these false impersonation games are not sticking. They feel as if
they can lie and then order the victims to get counseling in the
gayblade, governmental, pro-choice tax leech counseling centers. They
are doing nothing more than usury and fraud in many cases." -- Wentzky
almost comes out of the closet as a pedo/ephebophile in MID:
<H%%Eg.28916$Uq1....@bignews6.bellsouth.net>
To Whom It May Concern: Michael J. Cranston attorney kook is a dogfucker
Loaf of Bread
It only came up when we started talking about THEM.
The Doctor
Well?!
--
Member - Liberal International
This is doc...@nl2k.ab.ca Ici doc...@nl2k.ab.ca
God, Queen and country! Beware Anti-Christ rising!
USA petition for dissolution of your nation!
Loaf of Bread
How do you know?
peachy ashie passion
Well, the spontaneity of the action is an indicator then.. has the
impulse passed?
GaryRock
his lap dog. Your trying to score brownie points with the racist one. Get a
spine and quit hiding behind peepers, loser.
GR
"Mr.Smartypants" <bunghol...@lycos.com> wrote in message
news:b480ddcc-0c1c-4bcd...@d77g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
Loaf of Bread
peachy ashie passion
Whew. Good to know. I wasn't looking forward to finding a hospital
that would take you. "Hello? I have a loaf of bread I'm trying to find
a bed for?"
Loaf of Bread
Mr.Smartypants
I'm not dead yet.
Mr.Smartypants
> PissyPants, quit brown nosing to Peepers. We know he is your hero and your
> his lap dog. Your trying to score brownie points with the racist one. Get a
> spine and quit hiding behind peepers, loser.
> GR
Go blow a dead kike.
>
> "Mr.Smartypants" <bunghole-jon...@lycos.com> wrote in message
Loaf of Bread
Doesn't follow.
You could be in the middle somewhere with lots more to get offed when
they are done with you.
GaryRock
GR
"Mr.Smartypants" <bc...@canada.com> wrote in message
news:159f187d-31dc-4f42...@f63g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
Mr.Smartypants
Well obviously I'm not at the top.
Mr.Smartypants
> You fucking swine.
> GR
You rock, you stone, you worse than senseless thing.
>
> "Mr.Smartypants" <b...@canada.com> wrote in message
> > Tell Yads.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
GaryRock
GR
"Mr.Smartypants" <anyb...@canada.com> wrote in message
news:b7b5ba5b-b763-48dd...@25g2000hsx.googlegroups.com...
John Fleming
> $> On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:58:37 GMT, while chained to a desk in
> $> the scriptorium peachy ashie passion
> $> <exquisi...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> $>> $Loaf of Bread wrote:
> $>> $> On Jul 21, 12:51 am, John Fleming <nos...@sprynet.com> wrote:
> $>> $>> I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you.
> $>> $>>
> $>> $>> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track
> $>> $>
> $>> $> Who are THEY??
> $>> $
> $>> $ Being a bit slow on this "I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you"
> $>
> $> Of course, if I told Loaf who THEY were, I'd have to kill
> $> him.
> $
> $ Well, that appears to be an option that is still on the table.
And one he might actually like.
peachy ashie passion
Yeah. That wouldn't go well, would it?
Loaf of Bread
Of course not, but you could be in the top ten.
Loaf of Bread
It might brighten up a dull graveyard shift. "Hey Shirley!! I've got
a chick here trying to get a loaf of bread admitted to hospital."
peachy ashie passion
I think it would scare the hell out of them, myself. "good lord,
make sure we NEVER take anyone from that hospital again... clearly the
staff is crazy!"
Loaf of Bread
The whole world is crazy except you and me, and sometimes I'm a little
worried about you. :)
Mr.Smartypants
I doubt I've managed to do that. I'm just a minnow swimming with the
sharks. THEY are probably barely aware of me.
peachy ashie passion
That's ok. I'm not at all in doubt about you.
Demon Lord Henry Schmidt of Confusion
issue further by squeaking:
> John Fleming wrote:
>>On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:32:26 -0700 (PDT), while chained to a desk in the
>>> $On Jul 21, 4:51 pm, John Fleming wrote: $> I
>>> could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you. $>
>>> $> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track $> you
>>> down and kill you too.)
>>> $
>>> $Tell Yads.
>>
>>That's an idea!
>
Well, I think you need a new newsareader, because the one you're using
seems to be telling you things that ain't so, such as "Yads has a clue",
"Yads can recognise k00kery", and "Yads knows what a sense of humour is".
--
________________________________________________________________________
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PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER -- June 2008
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<jljOe.5348$ZD4....@bignews3.bellsouth.net>
I mourned:
> The Mop Jockey did most oddly state:
>> DUDE, YOU WIN TEH INTERNETS!!!
>>
>> the oversized check is in the mail.
>
> Alas, all I get for my trouble is a Monkey that's trained to hurl shit
> under several of my nyms.
"DevMcKinHole, you also get the pleasure of sucking off my doggy and
cleaning out his butthole with your tongue." -- He's not so much a
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own tendency to mess with lighter fluid while standing beside a hot
stove. Message-ID: <77Uxh.1996$384.1135@trnddc05>
Said I:
> You, Monkey-man, are quite possibly the only usenetter in existence
> who does not and cannot own Hatter.
"[...] What's the matter fagboi, am I beating your as$ so badly that
you're no seeking an alliance with the diaperboi?...YOu really don't
know how dumb you are, do ya?" -- I guess I don't, Monkey.
Message-ID: <gHVIh.1760$Bi2.1639@trnddc01>
"Ok, but I am not stalking Teh Mop Jockey, I seem to be building a
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and since I can not nominate, that is what I am doing at this time." --
Olympiada: Teh amoral "Christian", in Message-ID:
<45e625dd$0$16280$8826...@free.teranews.com>
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in MID: <oorbs2pt3dc6b8t4a...@4ax.com>
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<ka4lo.3...@news.alt.net>
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If you never read anything else in any of my sigs, read this:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15321167/
http://borealin.livejournal.com/15104.html
Or watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqxmPjB0WSs
Then, if you manage to read/watch all that, try this:
http://www.newamericancentury.org/RebuildingAmericasDefenses.pdf
And Molly Ivins had a few choice words to say about it, weeks before:
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/092906B.shtml
Here's Chris Floyd: Fatal Vision: The Deeper Evil Behind the Detainee
Bill: http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/100206A.shtml
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A: George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War." -- Anon.
Thread where outing begins: http://tinyurl.com/hojf8
George Pickett Memorial Trophy, Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart,
and the Order of the Holey Sockpuppet winner <wfh...@hotmail.com> on
outing personal contact info in x-poasted subject lines:
"Plenty of people post under their real names and do not attempt to hide
their contact info. You are scared of being 'outed' because you are a
pathological abuser of usenet, and people rightly despise you for it.
You're afraid of being reported to the authorities or, better, visited
by a couple of guys with baseball bats. Other people don't have this
obsessive fear. Ward Hardman himself has posted plenty of personal
information - nothing that anyone else added was hidden in any way.
You're so fucking scared you've built up this whole sick mythology about
different categories of bad dudes who 'out' scum like you.
"Meanwhile you are the ugliest pigfucker in the universe. You are the
coward without ethics. You call me a 'newbie' - ha! what an asshole you
are. Those who want to remain anonymous do so. There is absolutely no
way you could identify me, not unless you had the sort of subpoena power
that only gets turned on for big-time terrorists. That's because I chose
to be anonymous. Some people don't. Only really stupid dicks like you
choose the sort of semi-anonymity which leaves you in constant fear.
"What a dickless wonder you are 'Snarky' you fat asshole."
-- in MID: <1156587081....@m79g2000cwm.googlegroups.com>
"I am the only one who has outer filthed Ward" -- James C. "Crackhead"
Cracked voluntarily self-immolates, in MID:
1159678991.8...@m7g2000cwm.googlegroups.com
"When I told Abbie Hoffman that he was the first one who made me laugh
since Lenny Bruce died, Hoffman said, "Really? He was my god." The
combination of satirical irreverence and sense of justice that Bruce and
Hoffman shared was the real spirit behind the Yippies--a term I coined
to describe a phenomenon that already existed: an organic coalition of
stoned hippies and political activists who engaged in such actions as
throwing money on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, then
explaining to reporters the meaning of that symbolism. Folksinger Phil
Ochs summed it up: "A demonstration should turn you on, not turn you
off." So when journalists link the Yippies with misleading bedfellows,
at best it's careless shorthand; at worst it's deliberate demonization.
Osama bin Laden wanted an aircraft to crash into the Pentagon. Abbie
Hoffman merely wanted to levitate it." -- Paul Krassner,
http://tinyurl.com/ehu3v
John Fleming
the scriptorium Demon Lord Henry Schmidt of Confusion
<popesnarky...@verwirren.confused.k00ks.caballista.org>
wrote:
> $On Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:38:44 +0000, The Doctor attempted to confuse the
> $issue further by squeaking:
> $> John Fleming wrote:
> $>>On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:32:26 -0700 (PDT), while chained to a desk in the
> $>>scriptorium "Mr.Smartypants" wrote:
> $>>> $On Jul 21, 4:51 pm, John Fleming wrote: $> I
> $>>> could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you. $>
> $>>> $> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me and then track $> you
> $>>> down and kill you too.)
> $>>> $
> $>>> $Tell Yads.
> $>>
> $>>That's an idea!
> $>
> $> Well?!
> $
> $Well, I think you need a new newsareader, because the one you're using
> $seems to be telling you things that ain't so, such as "Yads has a clue",
> $"Yads can recognise k00kery", and "Yads knows what a sense of humour is".
That's assuming THEY don't decide to kill him off first.
The Secretary of HomIntern
> On Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:02:49 GMT, while chained to a desk in the
> scriptorium Demon Lord Henry Schmidt of Confusion wrote:
>> $On Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:38:44 +0000, The Doctor attempted to confuse the
>> $issue further by squeaking:
>> $> John Fleming wrote:
>> $>>On Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:32:26 -0700 (PDT), while chained to a desk in
>> the $>>scriptorium "Mr.Smartypants" wrote: $>>> $On Jul 21, 4:51 pm,
>> John Fleming wrote: $> I $>>> could tell you about it, but then I'd have
>> to kill you. $> $>>> $> (And if I didn't kill yoy, THEY would kill me
>> and then track $> you $>>> down and kill you too.)
>> $>>> $
>> $>>> $Tell Yads.
>> $>>
>> $>>That's an idea!
>> $>
>> $> Well?!
>>
>> $seems to be telling you things that ain't so, such as "Yads has a
>> clue", $"Yads can recognise k00kery", and "Yads knows what a sense of
>> humour is".
>
> That's assuming THEY don't decide to kill him off first.
Feh, I'm sure THEY'd rather laugh at him instead. Well, until his eventual
net.death.
--
________________________________________________________________________
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"The moral of the story is: Kill the parents kill the children."
"What a lame copycat you are." -- the PorchMonkey4Life, posting as "The
Secretary of HomIntern", in MID: <UkdTh.2573$Z66.747@trnddc06>,
re-defines irony yet again.
Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle
Trainer of the PorchMonkey4Life
http://www.screedbomb.info/porchie/
"Stupidity excuses nothing. It's only a reason...." -- Phxbrd
Old politicalcompass.org:
Economic Left/Right: -7.63 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.38
New political compass:
Economic Left/Right: -6.75 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.67
Odd. I seem to be swaying.
"The whining has just begun." -- John Wentzky, in Message-ID:
<Ie2Qe.8199$wb5....@bignews1.bellsouth.net>
Killfiled by: directory; Anim8rfsk
"It's not nice to misrepresent Mother Nature."
http://www.lowgenius.net/kookway.htm
TEH WAY OF THE K00K
Never learn from your mistakes.
Always practice your mistakes; you may get them right.
Always pick on those smarter and tougher than you.
Always believe that only you know the TRVTH.
Never allow logic or reason get in the way of a good k00k.
When being overwhelmed by logic and reason: k00ksuit!
If you are going to be wrong, do it at the top of your lungs.
When caught in a lie: LIE!
When in doubt: Order the Crab Won Ton
Plagiarism is your friend. Use it.
Whenever contradicted; morph, start calling people names, and make false
accusations. Include the children of your target in your allegations,
even if they don't have any.
(06-Jun-05) When nobody else will listen, post to your own fan group.
(06-Jun-05) Obviously, since you have your own fan group, this must mean
that you have fans. Post prolifically to your fan group - you wouldn't
want to disappoint them!
(10-May-2005)Everyone reads usenet. Approval here means approval
everywhere.
Post numerous blank posts, or posts containing only a message id.
Post numerous copy&paste web articles from crackerpot websites.
Never forget to call kookologists "k00ks."
If there are several, call them "sockpuppets" too
When all else fails, accuse various and sundry kookologists of e-mailing
viruses to you. This is a sure-fire method of garnering sympathy and
ensuring that the General Public will always see things your way. An
especially effective sub-strategy here is to accuse them of infecting
you with the 'Sasser' worm via e-mail.
Quote notorious scientists or writers - it makes it look as if they
approve the drivel you are writing!
(9-Jul-05) Anytime your computer is infected with a virus, bogged down
by spyware, attacked over your internet connection, or otherwise suffers
from preventable problems, government agencies are responsible and are
trying to silence you and are monitoring your computer files.
Ignore all traffic signs and feel free to trespass, you don't have to
obey any rules.
Scare your enemies with lawsuits, police escorts and whines.
Always back up your empty (albeit noisy) threats with phony LARTs, false
police reports, and harassing letters to the FBI and other gubbermint
agencies.
Be vigilant in your redundancy. The more you repeat yourself, the more
likely others will believe you!
If you can't find anyone as crazy as yourself to support you in the
flamewars you start with the normal population, create sock puppets and
use anonymous remailers that shamelessly hang on every word you write.
(17-Mar-05) When dealing with law enforcement, remember that it is they
who have the problem, not you. Be sure to inform them of this at every
available opportunity, as they will surely appreciate your constructive
criticism. Be sure to make them aware that YOU KNOW YOUR RIGHTS! ("The
cops like that, when people know their rights. That way they don't have
to read them to you on the way to the station." - George Carlin)
The more your fake personalities adulate you, the more respect you'll
get!
When confronted with a reality that you don't like: Announce loudly
that you are departing, never to return as long as there's an Internet.
Come back in three or four days and claim you were drunk, hacked,
abducted by alience, or forged. Alternately you can just not even
mention your prior departure, and if anyone asks you about it, either
ignore them or respond with something along the lines of "YOUR NOT THE
BOSS OF ME! *PLONK*!" People really know you mean business then.
Always remain clueproof.
(20-Mar-05) Anyone who does not believe that you are the reincarnation
of [$DEITY_OR_PROPHET] is obviously an infidel lacking in faith whose
soul in in peril of everlasting damnation.
When responding to one line challenges, post paragraphs of rants and
screed in response.
Incoherency is not a roadblock to poasting.
Neither is illiteracy.
Delusions poasted often enough become fact.
Claim you will destroy <insert newsfroup> for attacking you.
When spnaked, send cmsg for Fanboi newsfroup(s).
Find your Lame, Use your Lame, Be your Lame!
Post Edit when the TRVTH hurts.
Always sneck the offending newsfroups.
Always poast pictures of yourself so you can be admired in all your k00ky
glory.
Always accuse others of the very acts you are guilty of.
Post lots of boasts about your high IQ and incredible talents.
(20-Mar-05) If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.
Anybody who fails to understand this is engaged in a deliberate campaign
of misinformation and character assassination.
Always <plonk> somebody just before replying the plonkee!
The k00k considers itself the most intelligent person in any
conversation, possibly on the planet. Other people are benighted and
ignorant, and have been waiting their whole lives for the k00k to rescue
them from intellectual darkness.
Write a self-published book and claim it a success. Bonus points for
comparing it to "Mein Kampf" and/or the Bible.
Declare yourself equal to a deity of your choice.
Claim that you've come from other planets.
Claim thousands of past lives.
Frothing complaints carry far more weight when you send them from
"legal@" some domain.
Nothing strikes terror into the hearts of your detractors more than
telling them that you're archiving their messages for possible use in
the future.
Never forget that everyone else posting to Usenet is a paid
disinformation agent looking to discredit you.
Usenet is governed by US law. If a poster in Romania killfiles you, he's
obviously violating your 1st Amendment rights and can be sued.
Every news admin in the world hangs out in NANAU, and they're just dying
to nuke the account of that meanyhead who just called you "fucknozzle".
Drop 'em a line - that's what they're there for, after all.
AUK will be closed down. Just you wait and see.
They've nuked hundreds of accounts in the name of free speech and
*yours* will be next.
The k00k will, without any trace of irony, lie, manipulate, impersonate,
censor, and declare themselves powerful in ways ranging from the ability
to have an account shut down to being God Herself, in order to convince
people that they are not liars, manipulators, censors, or insane.
Abuse women while telling how many hundreds you've loved. Nevermind that
you're one ugly motherfucker and that there were 30,000 femininas that
thought you were a scumbag with bad teeth.
Remember that your ko0ky klaims are 'facts', and that 'facts' do not
require proof.
Do not neglect to poast your responses to forums that the originator
doesn't read. This will make the people in that forum very impressed
with how you tear him to shreds without him being able to respond. They
like it even better if you are off-topic for that forum.
Keep in mind that lack of evidence supporting your konspiracy theory
actually _is_ evidence, of how effective the konspiracy is in hiding.
(06-Oct-05) When spanked, always retreat to the safety of the Ad
Hominem.
(04-Aug-2005) When spanked mercilessly for days on end, proving with
each poast just what an illiterate and ignorant fool you are, ALWAYS
claim ownership of [person(s),froup(s)]. This works on so many levels.
It inspires dread in your opponents that they will no longer be able to
poast in their home froup and that they will eventually have to pay
rent, to name just two.
Any problems with your poasts are the fault of the konspirators, who are
trying to stop you from preventing the extinction of humanity.
Konspiracies that are able to subvert whole governments are always unable
to silence konspiracy ko0ks.
The entire United States government is willing to spend millions of
dollars for the sole purpose of harassing you.
Hollywood is making movies based on your personal life.
Do not consult psychiatrists or other mental health professionals. They
are part of the konspiracy, and will sedate you and lock you away and
keep you drugged if you tell them the truth.
Numerology and Astrology are respectable sciences and are useful for
proving your case.
Everyone is Tim Hill, or David Green, or...
There is a fine line between trolling and kookery. Find that line and
cross it repeatedly. When you are killfiled and/or LARTed for net.abuse
as a result, claim victory. If you lose multiple accounts, this merely
proves that you are indeed a world-class troll, with a black-belt in
manipulation.
If you respond to every post someone else makes, they're obsessed. If
they respond to less than 1% of your posts, they're even more obsessed.
Publishing people's real names, addresses, and phone numbers when
there's no other way for you to come out of a flamewar with any dignity
is cool, and proves that you are a master of secret internet information
stores, and absolutely not to be fucked with.
Everyone is out to get you. You can put a stop to this by telling
everyone that they're out to get you at every available opportunity.
You are the only sane one.
Those that give you a hard time about morally bankrupt things you
yourself admit to are just persecutioners of the new inquisition.
Yelling in all caps and cursing at your detractors is debate. Your
detractors laughing at you with sarcastic remarks is obvious anger and
jealousy.
If doing something results in the loss of your account, legal hassles,
or blunt trauma injury, do it again. It always works better the second
time.
Asterisks, lots and lots of Asterisks.
Poking holes in kookscreed is stalking, and is a felony.
K00ks LOVE to "connect the dots". They are, of course, dots that only
the k00k can see.
"They laughed at Einstein, too!"
...with thanks to Aratzio, Dr. Flonkenstein, Dan Baldwin, Cujo, CJ
Osterwald, Jade, Bookman, and John Henry, of AUK. Meow. Original thread
at http://tinyurl.com/3fsho - some posts may not appear due to
x-no-archive headers. The spelling mistakes are intentional, dolt.