[HUMOR] You know you're in Texas when...
gilbert l sebenste
Thursday a little brighter!
Gilbert
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Gilbert Sebenste ********
Internet: t50...@corn.cso.niu.edu (My opinions only!) *****
Owner of the Storm Chaser Homepage/SCH Canada ***
URL: http://taiga.geog.niu.edu/chaser/chaser.html **
SCH Canada URL: http://taiga.geog.niu.edu/chaser/canada *
THE STORM MACHINE: http://taiga.geog.niu.edu/machine/ *
Never rage against THE STORM MACHINE! *
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You know you're in Texas when: you no longer associate bridges (or rivers)
with water; you can say 110 degrees without fainting; you eat hot chilies
to cool your mouth off; you can make "instant" sun tea; you learn that a
seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron; the temperature drops below
95, you feel a big chill; you discover that in July, it takes only two
fingers to drive your car; you discover that you can get a sunburn through
your car window; you notice the best parking place is determined by shade
instead of distance; hot water now comes out of both taps; it's noon in
July, kids are on summer vacation and not one person is out on the streets;
you break a sweat the instant you step outside (at 7:30 a.m before work);
you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot in Texas: the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out
of the ground; the potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have
lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper; farmers are
feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
It's so dry in Texas: the cows are giving evaporated milk, and the trees are
whistlin' for the dogs.
A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain--not so much for me, 'cus
I've seen it--but for my seven year old!"
A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?" A rancher
quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the Bible
where it rained for forty days and forty nights?" The visitor replied,
"Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood." "Well," the rancher puffed up, "we
got 'bout two and a half inches during that spell!"
Gilbert
*******************************************************************************
Gilbert Sebenste ********
Internet: t50...@corn.cso.niu.edu (My opinions only!) *****
Owner of the Storm Chaser Homepage/SCH Canada ***
URL: http://taiga.geog.niu.edu/chaser/chaser.html **
SCH Canada URL: http://taiga.geog.niu.edu/chaser/canada *
THE STORM MACHINE: http://taiga.geog.niu.edu/machine/ *
Never rage against THE STORM MACHINE! *
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